30 | breakfast in bed

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Max's lips feel so soft. He kisses me gently, and my heart feels like it's about to burst out of my chest. All of this is just too shocking to me that I don't even know what to do.

Oh, God. What are you doing, Luna? Why are you turning into a statue?

I can't do anything, and I wonder whether Max feels like he's kissing a concrete wall now, because I'm acting like one.

I should kiss him back.

But then, before I can do so, his lips are no longer on mine. When his body detaches from me, I realize that I'm still squeezing my eyes shut tightly.

When I snap them open, Max is already sitting on the bed, raking his fingers through his hair.

"Sorry," he rasps, and I can even see his cheeks turning red. "I didn't mean to scare you or make you feel uncomfortable."

My jaw drops.

No, no, no, no. It wasn't like that.

But then, how did I expect him to react when I basically squeezed my eyes shut like I was scared of him?

I curse silently at myself, trying to calm my heartbeat. I'm so stupid. Max may be thinking that he just made the wrong move.

My heart screams in desperation. I stare at the frustration on his face, then at his chest heaving up and down.

"I should have been able to control myself," he whispers, making me even more dumbfounded.

It wasn't like that, Max.

I wanted that kiss.

In fact, I want it back.

Kiss me again?

But I would kill myself before I say something like that -- I would die because of the embarrassment.

I can't say all of those things, and I can't just kiss him now.

I turn away from him and squeeze my eyes shut again, feeling like wrapping myself with the bed cover and hiding under it for the rest of my life.

I've just ruined my first kiss.


Luna turns away from me, and awkward silence falls again between us. I can't help but curse myself for the impulsive move I just did.

We're now sitting on the edge of the bed, but we're not facing each other.

Say something. Anything.

I feel like an idiot right now.

"Well..." she falters, and my heart races as I wait for her words. "I guess that I should leave now."

That sentence makes my heart sink, because I don't want her to leave yet. This is very selfish of me.

Come to think of it. Her brother had just threatened me ten minutes ago, and look at what I'm doing now.

"I mean, I haven't cleaned myself since last night," she blurts out. "I need to take a shower, you know? Change my clothes..." She's stumbling upon her words, sounding nervous. "I need to go back to my room, take a warm bath, wash my hair... Um---" She suddenly stands up from the bed. "I'm sorry. I don't even know what I'm doing. I need to go back--"

"Stay." I grab her wrist, making her abruptly halt.

Goddammit. I might be crossing the line here, and her brother's glare is now haunting my mind. But after the incident last night, I still don't want to let her out of my sight this soon, especially now that I learn about her feelings for me.

"You can use my bathroom, and I'll lend you my clothes," I say, feeling her stiffen under my grip. "If you want to, though," I add, letting go of her wrist, making sure that I'm not forcing her to do anything even though it's just spending time here in my room.

Luna doesn't say anything, and my heart beats like a fucking drum in my chest.

"Okay," she says, and that makes me snap my head toward her in surprise.

She gives me a small nod, and a blush creeps on her cheeks. I can hear my heart roar in victory.

I stand up from the bed, stride toward my closet, and browse through the clothes. I take out my white t-shirt and hand it to her. "This should fit."

She takes it and excuses herself to go to the bathroom, but then I call her again, making her halt and turn around. "I'll get your breakfast ready. What would you like to have?"

Luna glances at the clock on the nightstand and bites her bottom lip. "It's already too late for a breakfast, I think."

"I mean, lunch." I roll my eyes, but I can't bite my smile. I know what kind of food she likes, though. "Do you want to eat pasta?"

"Pasta is perfect, I guess." She finally chuckles, and damn, that sight is more than refreshing. It makes me feel alive again.

"Noted." My grin is so wide, from ear to ear.

Luna gives me a soft smile, enters the bathroom, and closes the door. I'm still staring at it for a few seconds even after she has disappeared behind it.

Fuck. Control yourself. You don't want to look like a creepy dude.

I dial room service and order her food. After hanging up, I sigh, sitting on the bed and staring down at the floor, resting my arms on my thighs.

I've never kissed a girl like that.

Tentatively. In such a gentle way, as though I was afraid that I would break her.

I've never kissed a girl with a feeling this strong.

And I was stupid. I should have known that she wasn't ready for that. I should have waited until she was ready.

Fuck.

The next moment is spent browsing through the television channel for something to watch. Luna may want to enjoy some movies while having her breakfast later.

The bell rings, and a hotel crew comes in with a tray of tagliatelle alla carbonara, pastries, orange juice, and sweet tea.

Just after he leaves, Luna steps out from the bathroom, already dressed in my t-shirt. It's too big for her that it covers her upper thighs, but still, it doesn't mean that her long smooth legs aren't exposed.

Fuck.

Maybe lending my clothes to her is a bad idea, because I'm having a boner now.

"Just make yourself comfortable on the bed. I'll bring the food to you." I carry the tray, while Luna settles on the bed.

Her eyes sparkle as she gazes at her mouthwatering food, causing me to let out a soft chuckle. I switch the TV channel to find a good movie to watch, and when Luna suddenly gasps in delight, I stay on that channel.

"I love this movie." She clasps her hands in front of her.

I squint at the movie, not having any idea about what it is. It looks like a high school romance story.

Luna takes a bite of her pasta and moans. "This tastes so good."

I instantly turn my head toward her. She raises her eyebrows, obviously oblivious. I lick my lips, staring at hers, but then she speaks again, snapping me out of my daze.

"Do you want to try it?" she asks cluelessly, and I want to laugh at myself.

"Yeah." I open my mouth, and she feeds me. The feeling is very satisfying -- I don't know that such a simple gesture can make me feel so happy. The food tastes 100 times better than I expected.

Luna grins, shifting her gaze back to the TV, and I let out a small chuckle.

In the bright blue sky above Paris, half of the moon is visible. We're now staring at it, lying down side by side on the window seat that's quite spacious to be a small bed.

"When we see the moon during the day, it's because the moon is in the right spot in the sky and it's reflecting enough light to be as bright, or brighter, than the sky," I say.

I glance at Luna, who has a soft smile on her face. She's gazing up at the sky, at the moon. "We're far away from our home, but it's the same moon that we see, no matter where we are."

Silence falls between us, but none of us says anything, enjoying the moment.

"What are you thinking about?" I whisper, finally breaking the silence.

"The movie we watched just now." She smiles again. "It's one of my favorites. I love the ending scene." Excitement fills her voice -- it's indeed her favorite movie.

I don't like to watch a romance movie, contrary to most of the girls on this planet, but I remember the scene Luna is talking about. It's the scene where the guy just won a football game and asks the girl he loves to be his girlfriend. He runs to the bleacher and kisses the girl in the middle of pouring rain.

That's kind of cliche, actually.

"Do you like that kind of confession?" I ask carefully.

Luna sighs, still not shifting her gaze from the sky. "Yeah. It's like a dream, isn't it? That scene was so beautiful. I always feel happy every time I watch that scene." She's definitely still talking about the movie, not realizing where this conversation is going.

"I see," I say. "If that happens in real life, what are the chances for a guy you like, to be your boyfriend if he does something like that?"

Luna lets out another sigh, still gazing at the sky dreamily. "One hundred percent."

A grin creeps on my lips as I stare back up at the sky.

Very well noted.

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