ELIJAH

I looked at myself on the mirror as I tucked in my shirt and didn't recognize the person staring back at me. My eyes were cold and dead, my shoulders hunched in defeat, skin paler than ever and hair longer than its ever been falling over my face. I put on a pair of dark sunglasses to hide my face from myself and everyone else but it didn't erase the feeling in my heart.

Oma had passed on and we were burying her in an hour. She had demanded to be buried next to her husband so we had her body cremated and had flown her ashes to Norway to say goodbye. It was easier than shipping a whole coffin. We'd held a church memorial service for her back in Ohio since that's where her whole life was so only my family had flown to Norway for the final goodbyes.

I didn't like funerals, they were too sad and foreboding but grandma deserved a proper farewell with her whole family present so I couldn't have missed it.

"Eli are you ready?"Tamara asked popping her head into my room.

We were all staying at a small inn in Geiranger, my grandma's hometown and I was lucky enough to get my own room.

"Yeah just about."I replied picking up my black trench coat and shrugging it on.

Giving myself one last look in the mirror to make sure I was presentable I left the room with Tamara by my side.

"There's something you need to know before we get downstairs."She informed me looking at me skeptically.

Before I could ask Tamara what she was talking about I felt her before I even heard her laughing downstairs.

"Maya is here."I commented pausing at the top of the stairs.

"Yeah she just arrived this morning. I know you two still have issues between you but she's family too and she's here to say goodbye just like we are."Tamara informed me.

She was right Maya was family but it didn't make it any easier for me to accept her presence. Maya had been at the memorial service back home together with her whole family but I hadn't expected her to fly all the way to Norway to pay her final respects. She had been the last person Oma had asked to see before she passed. I was glad she had gotten to say her goodbye because Oma was her grandma too since we had grown up together.

"It's fine."I sighed resuming my walk back down the stairs.

I braced myself before revealing myself to the whole family that was gathered downstairs ready to head out. Maya was already looking at me and since I didn't want to be rude in front of everyone, I acknowledged her with a nod of my head. She smiled sadly at me and I could tell she wanted to talk to me but she was holding back.

It had been two weeks since we broke up and my heart was still aching as if it was just yesterday. I needed Maya, I knew we could help each other through our loss but I was still skeptical about our relationship so I was keeping my distance.

"Okay everyone, time to head out. No more than four people in each car, there's than enough space for everyone."My dad instructed as we started to file out of the house.

We'd only arrived the day before and would be leaving early the next morning. It was Mid December so the weather was extremely cold and the countryside was covered in a thin layer of snow everywhere. It made the place have a magical look to it but I didn't have it in me to enjoy the scenery.

Geiranger was beautiful just like the whole country of Norway especially during Christmas season. I'd been to Norway a few times in the past but never in December so I was experiencing something new. We were all bundled up in coats, scarves and caps to keep up with the cold weather.

I was sharing a car with my parents and Ivy but before I got in I saw Maya get into a car with Tamara, Amanda and her fiance. We weren't together anymore but I still cared about her so I wanted to make sure she was okay.

The ride to the cemetery was short and even if everyone else in the car was talking I was kept to myself the whole time.

My grandparents burial lot was next to a lake and just like they had done with my grandpa, we were going to spread Oma's ashes on the lake, lay flowers on the headstone we had made for her and have a short service since she also had family in Norway.

"Are you okay?"Ivy whispered to me as we got out of the car.

"No but I will be."I assured her.

I knew my whole family was worried about me especially since my grandma's death had come just after the break up. My heart was in shambles but I knew I would be okay. I had survived loss before and I could do it again.

"Okay good but remember we're here for you."Ivy encouraged me.

"Thanks siz."I replied giving her a side hug.

We had to ditch the cars and walk the rest of the way through the thin layer of snow. Cemeteries normally freaked me out but there was something magical about seeing one covered completely in snow with dark headstones popping out everywhere.

Thankfully the lake wasn't completely frozen which made it easier for us to spread the ashes.

When everyone made it to the edge of the lake the priest my mom had found led us in a word of prayer and said a few words.

"Today we the loved ones of Mabel Marie Olsen are gathered here to say our final goodbyes....."

I had to zone out when he started talking too much. We'd already had a service so I had no idea why my mom had sought him out in the first place. I just needed it to be over already.

I hadn't cried since my mom told me that that grandma had passed away peacefully in her sleep. Most of the family didn't cry because we knew it was coming and also because we weren't mourning grandma, we were celebrating her life. I just didn't know that life celebrations could be so hard and strung out.

I felt Maya walking towards me and she stopped right by my side, her fruity scent wafting into my nose. She was so tiny, even in heels standing next to me. She was wearing a cute black dress with stockings, a long black coat, black heeled boots and black ear muffs. She looked adorable and any other time I would have been quick to comment on her size but this time I bit my tongue.

She shuffled closer to me until our arms were touching then she did the most unexpected thing. She linked her her fingers with mine and I surprised myself even further by allowing her.

That was the first time Maya and I were making physical contact since we broke up. We were both wearing gloves so our skin wasn't exactly touching but there was contact. I looked down at her and she was already staring back at me with those big brown doe eyes. Her sadness reflected in her eyes just like I knew mine were. Maya was feeling the loss of Oma just like I was and while I had my whole family to share my grief with, she didn't have anyone. I didn't know if she was holding my hand to comfort me or she needed me to comfort her. I was just glad we were there for each other through the loss even if we weren't together anymore.

I squeezed her fingers softly and she squeezed mine back, our wordless way of communicating that we were there for each other through a difficult time. Maya was the first to break eye contact and look back at the priest and I did the same too.

"Now I will ask her son Bernard to come forth with the urn so that we can spread the ashes."The priest finally declared.

My dad stepped forward with the grey urn we had chosen for my grandma. My mom was with him too as his support system and after the priest prayed again, my dad opened the urn, handed the lid to my mom and proceeded to spread the ashes over the lake.

"Goodbye Oma, I love you."I whispered to myself looking up where the ashes were being flown away by the soft winds.

I could hear everyone mumbling to themselves as they said their final goodbyes to Oma. After my dad was done, we approached her newly installed headstone next to my grandpa to lay our flowers for her and grandpa too. I never met my grandpa, he'd died before my parents met but my dad and grandma talked about him a lot, so I felt like I knew a part of him.

Maya and I didn't let go of each others hand the whole time as we supported each other through the ordeal. I could see our family giving us odd looks but we ignored them best we could. Maya and I weren't getting back together, we were just being there for each other.

Everyone started leaving the gravesite one by one until Maya and I were the only ones left. I think we both knew that if we parted the little bubble we were currently in would be popped and we would be back to being strangers. Neither of us said anything to each other for a while, just stood in silence staring at the graves holding hands.

"I miss you."Maya whispered so quietly if I wasn't standing so close to her I would have missed it.

"I miss you too."I replied honestly looking at her.

Maya looked up at me and I could see tears brimming in her eyes. I hated to see her cry. We were both hurting but I still had so much to figure out and think through.

"I know you're still not ready for us to talk about us but can we hang out today. I leave later in the evening and would like to spend the day with you. You can go back to ignoring me when we get back to the US. It'll be what happens in Norway stays in Norway."She requested looking at me hopefully.

I wanted to say no. I wanted to tell her that spending time with her would be too painful but I also didn't have the heart to reject her especially when she was looking at me like that.

"Okay, let's go tell everyone else first."I replied earning me the most genuine smile I'd seen on her face all week.

"Thank you."She smiled following me towards the cars where everyone else was, our hands still linked together.

Everyone was headed back to the inn where they had planned a gathering with food and drinks. I hadn't wanted to attend it in the first place but now I had the perfect excuse.

"Mom, Maya and I are heading out into the city. We won't be coming with you back to the Inn."I informed my mother.

She beamed at us with a hopeful look on her face as she glanced at our joined hands.

"Definitely not mother."I said squashing whatever thoughts she had in mind.

"Okay fine, here's some money. Spend it wisely."She demanded handing me some bills.

We didn't bother saying goodbye to anyone else assuming that my mother would fill them in.

"What would you like to do?"I asked Maya as we got into a cab.

They were available outside the cemetery so thankfully we didn't walk around much. It would have been better to use the ferry but it would take too long to get us to the city.

"Can we go eat? I haven't had much since yesterday."Maya requested.

"You flew all night?"I asked her.

"Yeah and arrived this morning. I barely had time to get showered and changed before we left this morning."She replied.

"You must be exhausted then."I commented looking at her worriedly.

"I'll be fine, I don't have the luxury to feel tired. I have to fly back tonight."She informed me.

"You should rest and fly back tomorrow with us."I suggested.

"I can't, I have a track meet tomorrow afternoon. It's the last one before we break for Christmas."Maya explained and I nodded in understanding.

Since we'd broken up Maya had had one track meet but I hadn't been able to attend it since they had travelled a few towns over. I would have loved to go and support her but it would have been too awkward so I had waited to get news of her wins from our friends. She was truly amazing and talented and I was proud of her even if we weren't in the best of terms.

"Are you sure you'll be able to perform with the jet lag?"I asked her.

"I have to try. The whole team is depending on me for the relay race. I'll do my best not to let them down."She replied.

"I believe you'll do great."I encouraged her.

If anyone could do it, it was her. I'd seen her achieve the impossible so if she believed in herself I'd support her.

When we arrived into the city I paid the cab driver and since I wasn't very familiar with the place, I led Maya to the first nice looking restaurant we saw. It was small, neat and cozy, perfect for a quiet meal. We took our seats and didn't have to ask for the menu since they were already on the table.

"I don't understand any of this."Maya lamented since the menu was written in Norwegian.

"Looks like someone didn't keep up up with their Norwegian language studies."I teased her earning me an eye roll.

"I remember how to say hello, please, good morning and good night plus all the days of the week and that's as far as my vocabulary goes."Maya retorted.

Oma had been teaching us Norwegian when we were younger before Maya left.

"Well lucky for you I did my reading and I'm quite fluent in the language. I'll order of us."I offered.

"Thank you."She smiled setting the menu down.

The waitress was taking too long to come take our order so I decided to go get us some food myself.

"I'll be right back."I informed Maya taking one of the menus with me.

"Okay."She replied smiling at me.

I made my order at the counter and was asked to wait for it so I just had to stand there patiently. I looked at Maya who was staring out the window looking lost in thought. She was tired, I could see that much and not just physically. I was too but something was holding me back from getting back together with her. I desperately wanted to fix things but still not yet. Before I had rushed into dating her and we'd broken up three months later. I didn't want to make the same mistake so I decided that Maya and I needed to talk, really talk so I knew what I was getting myself back into.

We were alone at the moment so it would be a good time as any to lay all our cards on the table. It wasn't a planned conversation but I knew Maya needed it too. It would be the first step to us mending our relationship.

"Here's your food sir."The waitress informed me pushing two plates my way.

"Thank you."I replied politely picking them up and walking back towards Maya.

I really hoped our talk would go well. I missed her and wanted her back but not without knowing everything.

Here goes nothing.