MAYA

I walked out of my room for the first time in three days and it was only because it was Monday and I needed to go to school. I looked and felt like shit but I didn't have the energy to dress up. I was nursing a broken heart and that excused me from trying to be normal for a while.

When I entered the kitchen everyone stared at me in shock as if they had seen a ghost. And they probably had since I hadn't seen any of them since I locked myself in my room after the doomed Thanksgiving dinner. I had only been coming out at night to eat and drink when everyone was asleep.

"Jesus Maya, you look homeless. What happened to you?"Violet exclaimed.

I ignored her and took a seat serving myself some food. At least my appetite was still around so food was the one thing keeping me alive since everything else in me was failing.

"Is anyone else going to acknowledge this?"Violet asked pointing at me.

"No, we're just going to have breakfast."Aunt Gloria replied curtly.

I looked at her wondering why she was being so gracious and she was smiling sadly at me meaning she knew. She probably didn't know all the details but she could guess that I had told Elijah the truth and it had backfired on me just like she had predicted.

Well good for her.

I shoveled food into my mouth wanting breakfast to end fast so I could get to school and away from them.

"Thanks for breakfast autie. Everyone have a good day. Vee let's go."I demanded as soon as I was done.

"But I'm not done yet." She whined.

I gave her one deathly stare that warned her not to mess with me and it had her jumping to her feet.

"Yeah goodbye everyone."She yelled running after me and towards the car.

Violet kept glancing at me on the drive over to school and sighing heavily each time she looked. I knew she wanted answers but I didn't have any for her or I did and I just didn't want to share them. We didn't say anything to each other the whole drive over even though I knew Violet wanted to talk. I was grateful to her that for once she had left me alone like I wanted.

"I'm here May always."She whispered just as she parked in the school compound.

"Thanks."I mumbled getting out of the car and adjusting my cap.

I was wearing a black pair of jeans, grey hoodie, black baseball cap to hide my eyes and my favorite boots.

I wasn't in the mood to chitchat so I decided to forego the morning gossip session with our friends. I could see the confused look on all their faces when I walked directly into the school looking like a thief but I knew Violet would fill them in. Elijah hadn't arrived yet because his car wasn't in the lot so that gave me some time to avoid him best I could.

I hadn't texted or called him all weekend and he hadn't reached out either. I knew he was hurting and even if I was too I was determined to give him all the space he needed. December was nearly upon us and so it was colder than ever. Instead of hugs, cuddling and hot cocoa with Elijah like I had planned I was nursing a broken heart.

Instead of taking my usual seat at the front with Elijah I chose a seat at the back of the class. I dropped my bag heavily on the floor and plopped down heavily on the seat.

I lay my head on the desk resisting the urge to cry because that's all I'd been doing the whole weekend. I was surprised how I wasn't dehydrated yet.

I felt him before I even lifted my face to see him and he looked just as bad as I did if not worse. His pale skin looked even paler, he had bags under his eyes and he was hunched over as if trying to curl into himself. Our eyes met and I saw all the hurt reflecting in his eyes. I knew Elijah hurting was my fault and that made me feel even worse.

He looked away quickly and took his usual seat but I wasn't seated next to him. All I wanted was to go to him, hug him and curl into his lap like I liked doing assuring him that everything would be okay but I didn't have that luxury anymore. I didn't blame Elijah for breaking up with me but I just wished he had given me a chance to explain. We could have talked and found a middle ground without breaking up but that hadn't happened and now we were suffering separately.

Thankfully none of our friends approached me when they came into class. Violet had probably talked to them and I was grateful to her because I didn't feel like explaining myself to anyone.

Class started soon after and I found myself having a hard time concentrating. I was good at locking my feelings away so I could focus on what's important but that was proving to be extremely hard. I kept looking at Elijah and I knew he could feel me looking at him so we were just both feeling miserable. Twenty minutes in I couldn't take it anymore so I packed up my books and got up.

"Can I be excused Miss Yvette, I'm not feeling so good?"I requested our teacher politely.

She didn't like her class being interrupted but I couldn't keep being in the same room as him. I could feel everyone looking at me especially him and that just unnerved me more.

"What seems to be the problem Miss Amadi? Too much turkey over the weekend. "Miss Yvette asked with a teasing smile.

For once she was in a good mood so that added to the chance of her letting me go.

"Period cramps."I said giving the ultimate excuse.

Everyone in our circle knew I didn't experience period cramps but they would not out me. I just needed to get away and breath.

"Of course, here."Miss Yvette agreed handing me a note giving me a sympathetic look.

I glanced at Elijah to see him giving me that same hurt look before I literally ran out of that class. I was supposed to go to the nurse because of my 'period cramps' but they were non existent. I just passed by the sick bay to get some pain killers before hanging out in the library for the rest of the lesson.

Thankfully we didn't share any of my next two classes so I was safe until lunch rolled around. I thought of skipping lunch all together to avoid him but then I realized that I couldn't run away from him and our friends forever. Everyone was already at lunch when I arrived since I'd taken my sweet time to arrive. The table was deathly quiet when I arrived, everyone looking at me like I was a skittish kitten that would run off at the slightest of sounds. Elijah was there too and unfortunately the only empty spot was my usual one next to him. I didn't want to sit there if I wasn't going to talk to him but I also couldn't run away like I wanted to.

I carefully sat next to him, his cologne washing over me and I nearly broke down in tears there and then. Any other time I would have buried myself into his chest and covered myself with his scent but I couldn't do that anymore. I made sure we weren't touching and he didn't even look at me but I felt him stiffen and his breath hitch when I settled down.

To avoid giving into the urge to look at him, I dug into my food immediately. No one was talking and I could feel several eyes on me but I refused to look up.

"Okay I can't do this anymore. What the fuck is going on with you two?"Finn asked clearly exasperated.

"Yeah we need to know so we can know how to behave accordingly because the silence and walking on eggshells around you two ain't it."Wendy added.

Elijah and I looked at each other for the first time all day and it was even harder looking at the pain in his eyes up close. I wanted to kiss all his pain away but I couldn't do that unless he asked me because I had caused it in the first place. We had a wordless talk with our eyes before turning to face our friends.

"We broke up."We announced our voices filled with so much pain it hurt to listen to each other.

"What?!"

"No way!"

"When?"

"Why?"

"What happened?"

Everyone asked all at once but neither Elijah nor I gave them an explanation. Giving them a reason for our awkwardness was as much information as they were getting from us. Violet looked more shocked than all which didn't surprise me.

"That's all we get, that you two broke up? No explanation or reason?"Finn asked.

"No."I replied.

"You?! What did you do to her?"Violet yelled reaching across the table gunning for Elijah but Wade held her back.

Elijah didn't even look phased by her, just remained cool and kept on eating.

"Vee stop, he didn't do anything. I'm the reason we broke up."I yelled at her making her stop.

"What? How?"She asked confused.

"I don't want to talk about it."I replied already feeling exhausted.

I didn't want to be around them anymore especially Elijah so I excused myself and ran away again. I dumped my left overs in the trash and returned my food tray.

I decided to head to class early since I had nowhere to go and lunch only had fifteen more minutes left anyway.

Wendy tried to get more information out of me during the afternoon lessons but I was not talking to anyone about what had happened. It hurt anytime I thought about it so discussing it would only make it more painful.

"And why aren't you in uniform?"Coach asked as soon as I walked into the gym for practice after classes.

"I don't feel like running today."I replied shortly.

I'd gone to tell her that I wouldn't be attending the practice out of courtesy.

"And do I look like I care."Coach retorted looking at me square in the eyes.

"Go easy coach, she's nursing a heartbreak."Cassie said on my behalf.

I wondered how she knew about it but then remembered that she and Jace had a thing so she had been at our table for lunch.

"Darling we're all nursing heartbreaks, now please get on the treadmill."Coach demanded softly.

"I don't want to."I grunted.

"Maya get on the treadmill. It'll not cure your heartbreak but it will distract you for a while."Coach advised.

I'd run before when my feelings were hurt and it had helped but this time I wasn't so sure. The pain was too much.

Since coach wasn't going to let go, I decided to get on the treadmill without changing into my work out gear as an act of rebellion.

"I deserve that."She mumbled when she saw my defiance.

"Twenty minutes, that's all you get."I replied starting the treadmill.

"Fair enough."Coach agreed starting the timer.

I increased the speed slowly as time progressed until I reached the maximum speed of the treadmill. As soon as my twenty minutes were done, I slowed down until it stopped. Without saying anything to anyone I walked out of the gyno sweating like a pig. I definitely should not have run in jeans and boots but I also didn't like being told what to do. I didn't have anyone to take me home so I walked. It gave me time to overthink which was unhealthy but I didn't have much of a choice.

There was no one home when I arrived so I quickly made myself some food and went back to hibernating in my room.

That was how the rest of my week went.

Moping around, classes, practice, back home to moping around and repeat. It was a terrible cycle but I didn't have much else to do. I was also very good at avoiding my friends since most of them kept hounding me about the breakup which was the last thing I needed.

Friday rolled around slowly since my days were dragging along. I thought it was going to be just another depressed sad heartbroken day until I got a text from Elijah. We shared more than a third of our classes but he was texting me. Weird but I decided to accept it, at least he was reaching out.

❤️🦒Joey🦒 ❤️

Oma wants to see you.

It was short and precise with literally no emotion at all. It hurt that he didn't even bother to deliver the messages in person. It hurt even worse that he was seated right across from me during lunch when he sent that message. I had so many questions and emotions running through me but I didn't let any of them show. I thought about replying but he saw that I had seen it so I just put my phone back in my pocket and resumed eating my food.

Later that day after practice ended I passed by Walmart to buy Oma some flowers and her favorite candy since it was closer than Amanda's shop. I was still walking everywhere and as much as that wasn't fun, it was helping me with my track time. I probably needed to buy a bicycle to take me everywhere or learn how to drive and get my own car. But those were expensive and I didn't have any money so I stuck to walking for the time being.

When I arrived at the Olsen's Elijah's car was parked out front. I could also feel him in the house so that made the situation more awkward. I stood at the door without knocking and just stared at it. Last time I'd been standing on that same spot, my whole world had just crumbled around me.

I knew I needed to go in but my muscles wouldn't comply and I just stood there like a statue. Eventually it swung open and I thought I'd willed it open until I saw Elijah standing on the other side of it. He was still in the same clothes he had been in at school, jeans and a hoodie just like I was but he was barefoot.

He didn't say anything to me, just stood aside to let me pass. My shoes were dusty from all the walking so I took them off. I looked at Elijah questioningly and I didn't have to say the words for him to know what I was asking.

"She's in her room."He informed me politely.

I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to tell him that I missed him and that I loved him so much but he knew. I knew he knew that because all those emotions were displayed on my face. I could see them on his face too but he still wasn't ready to talk yet so I forced myself to walk away from him without saying a word.

"Oma may I come in?"I asked knocking politely as I stood outside her door

"Little mouse is that you? Please come in."She replied and I let myself in.

She was in her bed reading a book with a cup of tea on the nightstand next to her.

I set my bag down on the floor next to her door and walked further into her room.

"I brought you these."I said showing her the flowers and candy.

"Thank you dear set them down and come here."She said patting the empty spot on her bed next to her.

I put the flowers on the table next to her window but handed her the candy after I crawled into bed next to her. Elijah and I had done that so many times when we were kids. We just liked getting into bed with Oma because she always had lots of stories to tell. Plus she always smelled like cookies which was great.

"You look tired little mouse, have you been sleeping at all? And don't lie to me, you'd rather not tell me rather than lie. "She asked looking at me worriedly.

Oma had always been a no bullshit kind of person so I wouldn't dream of lying to her.

"Yes I've been sleeping, honestly it's all I've been doing besides school and track but I still always feel tired."I explained to her.

"I can understand that, Eli told me what happened."She informed me and I wasn't surprised.

Oma was very inquisitive when she wanted to be so I knew she had gotten it out of Elijah somehow. I just wondered if the rest of the family knew.

"It's just me and I'm glad. I don't think what you guys have going on is for everybody's ears."Oma answered reading my mind.

"You're not judging me or being mad at me?"I asked her.

"Oh no dear, I would never do that. You did what you had to do to live as long as you didn't hurt anybody, you're okay."She assured me.

"I hurt Eli."I whispered remembering the look of betrayal on his face when I told him the truth.

"He is just a little bit confused at the moment but he will come around. He loves and adores you. You're his whole world and you are soulmates after all."She added with a teasing smile.

"I don't regret what I did. My parents sacrificed so much for me to have regrets but I wish it didn't have to come at the cost of Elijah's feelings."I expressed.

"And I would never want you to regret chosing life Maya. If you had died it would have been worse. A while after you left and we didn't hear anything from you, we all assumed the worst and mourned you. Elijah did too but a part of him never really believed that you were gone. Now I know why but that hope that you were still alive kept him sane. He was angry all the time but at least he was feeling. There's nothing worse than not having any emotion towards someone you cared deeply about."Oma explained.

"I'm not going to push him, he needs to deal with this before we can talk but I miss him so much and the fact that he is hurting because of me makes me so sad."I told Oma.

"I know that dear, just don't give up on him. You didn't when you were younger so don't start now. Not every five year old is patient and courageous enough to make friends with a shy stuttering boy taller than her but you did it. You two were always meant to be, soulmates or not so I believe you will make it. It's always been you for him little mouse. You were the first real friend he ever made and that will always bind you together."Oma advised.

"I won't give up on him, I can't, he is all I have."I replied.

"Good then you two will take care of each other but especially you will take care of him. He might be the tallest and the biggest person out there but he is also the most fragile with a big and loving heart that's why he's taking this so hard. Take care of him for me will you?"Oma requested and there was more weight to her words than just a simple request.

"I'm not here for a pep talk am I?"I asked Oma when I realized what was going on.

"No dear but that doesn't mean you disregard my words. I just wanted to see you one last time."She said caressing my face.

"But you look okay."I cried remembering the pain of losing someone I cared about.

"And this is how I want to go, without pain and surrounded by loved ones. You'll cry and mourn but more than anything I want you to celebrate me and take care of each other. I've run my race little mouse, now it's time for me to be your guardian angel. You can't get rid of me that easy. Not even death will keep me away from you."She expressed.

"I'll miss you."I cried leaning on her shoulder.

"I'll always be here and here."She consoled touching my temple and my chest.

"It won't be the same but I want you to rest too before you become a bitter and resentful old lady."I teased and we both laughed.

Oma had been the only grandparent I knew. Both my parents had lost their parents before I was born so I never met any of them. Oma was the perfect grandma who always made me cookies, read to me, told me stories and was always there with lots of hugs, kisses and words of encouragement. I would miss her but she had lived her life and it was time say goodbye. She deserved to go on her own terms.

"When you get to heaven give mama and papa a huge hug from me."I requested her.

"I will, I promise."She assured me patting my cheek comfortingly.

I wasn't ready to go just yet so I sat with her while she read me the book she was currently reading. I didn't know what it was about but she had a very calming voice and I