HARLOW

The next morning, I woke up and he wasn't there. My thoughts from last night came back into my brain.

I love Cristiano. I've fallen for him.

But the only thing is, he doesn't love me back. So I can't tell him.

Nope, I'm not telling him that I love him. Not ever.

I headed downstairs and a delicious scent filled my nose. He was cooking in the kitchen and Zach, Alexi and Lola were sitting at the island counter.

I went to sit on the empty side and stared at Cristiano's back nervously.

"Cupcake, are you okay?" Zach asked. Cristiano glanced at me and I gulped.

"Uh, yeah. I am. Totally." All three of them gave me a weird look. Except for the secret love of my life focused on his cooking.

My phone buzzed and I looked at it.

New group chat- Zach, Alexi and Lola

What's up? - Zach

What if I told you that I was in love with someone in this room? - Me

Really? - Alexi

Yup. - Me

Sorry, Harlow. I knew this day would come. But I just don't think of you like that. Can we just stay friends? Plus, you're dating my best friend. It wouldn't work. - Zach

I looked up at him and he was smiling childishly. "Zach, you're an idiot." I rolled my eyes.

"I know right?" Cristiano chuckled.

I'm kidding. - Zach

I love Cristiano... - Me

You're in love with Cristiano! Aw! I'm so happy for you! - Lola

But I can't tell him. He doesn't love me. He literally doesn't do love. So keep it a secret from anyone else. Got it? - Me

Got it. Whatever happens in the group chat, stays in the group chat. - Alexi

Si, cupcake. - Zach

Okie-dokie. - Lola

"Who are you texting?" Cristiano asked beside me but he didn't look at my phone.

I jumped out of my chair and screamed. Well, shrieked. They all looked at me like I was crazy. To be honest I kinda am.

"Charlie!" I said quickly. Good answer, Harlow!

"About what?" Zach smirked evilly.

"Nothing special, Zachariah. I was just telling him about an episode of Supernatural." I lied, glaring at Zach.

Cristiano narrowed his eyes at the two of us. "Bullshit. What's going on?"

Ugh, curse his lie detecting brain!
"Uh, nothing." I shook my head.

He had a skeptical look on his face.
I started to panic.

I decided to distract him.

I grabbed his face and crashed my lips into his. He immediately responded, putting his hands on my hips. Just when I thought it worked...

He pulled away. "You can't distract me, Harlow. You know how my brain works. You are not getting away that easily. What's going on?"

"Ugh, fine! We were talking about you!" I gave up, hoping that would be enough. It wasn't.

"What about?"

"Well were talking about who's hotter. You, Zach or Zac Efron." I smiled. Good answer Harlow!

"But you tried to lie about it, so who did you choose?" He narrowed his eyes into slits.

"Well, Zac Efron is really cute, I'm mean, WOW. But off the choice board, I'd choose Eric Belanger. He's super hot."

He crossed his arms with a raised eyebrow. "Anything else you want to add?" He asked through gritted teeth.

Payback for pushing it with texts.
"Well you have to admit, Eric Belanger looks like the kind of guy that would fuck your girlfriend and her sister in one night and get away with it. Because he's just that sexy."

I used the s-word. Sexy. To describe another male. If that doesn't piss off a boyfriend, I don't know what will.

His jaw twitched and so did his left eye. Oh no.

"You asked! But you know what?"

He looked at me menacingly, daring me to say another word about Eric Belanger. I went ahead and spoke anyway.

"Your eyes are better than his. And your black hair. I like guys with black hair and grey eyes. Or blue eyes. And you've got a mixture of both." I smiled. He smiled back and pecked my lips.

Zach and Alexi groaned. "Ugh, you two are so gross!" He said. "Can we go one day without this lovey-dovey shit?!"

Lola laughed. "It's cute! Shut up. You're just jealous Zach."

He perked up in shock. "Me? Jealous? Of my best friend? No way!" He scoffed.

"Which best friend are you claiming to not be jealous of?"

His cheeks tinted pink. "I don't have to answer to you, Lola! I'm not jealous. That would be stupid."

"Then why are you blushing?" She crossed her arms with a smug smile.

"I'm not, only girls do that!"

"Then explain the pink color of your cheeks."

"Ugh, shut up!" He threw his head back and groaned.

"Okay, let's change the topic before this conversation goes somewhere I don't like." Cristiano said, his eyes narrowed.

He put chocolate chip waffles on five plates and handed everyone a plate along with forks and toppings.

I put a little bit of chocolate syrup on mine.

Dominic, Marcella and Eli walked into the kitchen, Eli sitting next to Zach and Cristiano's parents next to Alexi.

Zach started talking quietly to Eli and Eli's eyes went big as saucers.

Was he telling him about what I think he was?

I slapped my hand on the table. "No, estúpido! Cállate!" I shouted.

Everyone looked at me like I just contacted the aliens.

"Hey. This is Italy. Not Mexico, Spain, Cuba, Puerto Rico, Guatemala--"

I cut off Dominic. "I'm aware of the places where people speak Spanish, gracias! What did you say?" I asked Zach.

"Relax cupcake, I wasn't talking about your little 'problem'. Now why are you speaking Spanish when you never have before?"

"I don't know. But I like it. Es divertido. ¿Puede alguno de ustedes hablar español? ¿No? Guay." I winked.

"I only understood no and español." Cristiano pronounced 'español' wrong.

"You said it wrong. It's español, not ass-pan-hole." I laughed. "Come on, there are some words that are the same as Italian. There's bambino, calmati, padre, no, si, etc."

"We are aware of the similarities between the two languages, bambina." He smiled.

"So, Harlow, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" Giovanni walked into the kitchen.

"No because I crawled up from hell. Would you like for me to drag you down there so you can burn in a pit of fire?" I asked.

He laughed. "I can tell because you're hot."

"And I can't set you on fire why?"

"Relax, mio bellezza. It was just a question. Guess I'll have to try harder."

"Your beauty? No, no. She's not yours." Cristiano said curtly.

"I know the weather forecast for today. Giovanni with a 0% chance with Harlow." Zach chuckled.

"Damn right. Eat that, bitch!" I pushed Giovanni back.

"No thank you. I'd rather eat something else." He smirked.

Marcella gasped. "Giovanni!"

"Ew! No! Find another dish!" I crossed my legs uncomfortably.

"No, I have a special craving for a certain someone."

"I'm sorry that item on the menu is reserved." I sneered, caught up in slaying this jackass.

"Wait, what?" Cristiano, Eli and even I said. Did I really just say that?

"Yes, yes you did. Good to know your item is only for me." Cristiano smirked.

"Oh, God. Come on I'm already dealing with one sexually egoistic ass. I don't need to deal with another." I rolled my eyes.

"It's okay, Harlow. Dominic was and is the same way. It runs in his side of the family." Marcella rolled her eyes as well.

"And we are proud! Isn't that right, boys?" Dominic smirked.

"Yeah!"  Cristiano and Giovanni patted their fists on their chests.

Every girl in the room rolled their eyes.

"He's your boyfriend Har." Alexi shook her head.

"But they're your relatives."

"I can handle these two." She pointed to Giovanni and Dominic. "But not my idiot brother. You're the only one who can tame him. You're welcome to make him sleep outside if you want."

I laughed. "You make him sound like a dog or something."

"He is." She said with a serious face.

We laughed except for the 'dog'.

"Wow, I can just feel the love from my family." He deadpanned sarcastically.

Hey! Your girlfriend loves you too!

"Hey, if I throw a stick will you go get it?" Zach laughed.

"Shut up, blush boy." Cristiano sneered.

My phone started to ring and I smiled at the ID.

"Hey, I missed you!"

"Well of course, babe, of course. If I were you and friends with Charlie, I'd miss him too."

"Don't add your ego to my 'Elimination' list, Charlie. What do you want?"

Giovanni gasped. "Harlow you're cheating on me?"

I rolled my eyes. "I can't cheat on someone I'm not with, dumbass."

I put Charlie on speaker. "Who was that? Did you and Cristiano breakup already? I swear I'll kill you if you did. Don't move on so quickly."

"No, we're still going strong. That's his annoying flirt of a cousin. What were you gonna tell me?"

"Okay. I wanted to tell you that your dad is on the news. You really might wanna check it out."

I frowned. "Okay sure. Uh, bye Charlie."

"Bye, babe. Say hello to your eye candy for me!"

I chuckled and went into the living room, turning on the TV news.

My eyes widened at the man on the screen.

"No fücking way."

I watched for a few more minutes before turning off the TV. I went back into the kitchen with my eyes big as saucers.

"My dad is out of prison. Holy crap, my dad is out of prison."

"Calm down, Harlow. You don't have to see him again." Eli said.

"Why's your dad in prison?" Alexi asked.

"He used to be a doctor, but he was basically a mad scientist. He tampered with hospital chemicals and treatments and was fired. Then he became a full time mad scientist. Since my parents were divorced, he could do his experiments alone. But he was also a drunk bastard. He left the country to do God knows what for four years. When he came back, he went psycho and assaulted my mom. So he went to jail. But he's out now."

Cristiano typed something into his phone. Eli checked his phone and looked at him like was crazy before walking out of the kitchen.

"You are a very shady man. That's what I said when I first met you. I said that because you were making long phone calls and when I asked, you said 'I had a call to make' and then change the subject. But I'm guessing you were talking to your little Mafia. But that's not it this time mister." I turned towards Cristiano.

"Okay." He said casually. What?

"What? 'Okay'? That's all? You're impossible. I'm watching you." I narrowed my eyes and he chuckled.

"Did you know that Cristiano shot Francisco yesterday?" Dominic glared at him. "Damn near got us killed."

"First of all, padre, I only shot him in the leg. Not fatal. Second, what did you expect me to do? He kissed my girlfriend. Twice. Did you think I was gonna just do some yoga to calm down? I don't handle shit like that." Cristiano scoffed.

"Are we still on that? I kicked his ass and got over it. I'm quite proud of myself actually. I've never had the guts to do that to him. Ever. Now, he could eat coyote shit for all I care." I pretended to straighten my imaginary tie.

The funeral yesterday was good but the events after it were hectic and bad.

"Did you just pick a random animal?" Lola laughed.

"Yes, coyote was the first thing to pop in my mind. Although my favorite animal is the wolf."

"Hey, I like wolves too." Cristiano smiled.

"I like monkeys." Zach grinned.

"Elephants." Lola said.

"Dolphins." Alexi made an ocean wave motion.

"What are we doing? This isn't kindergarten share & care time." Giovanni rolled his eyes.

"Wow, Giovanni that's the first time you've ever said something that wasn't a flirt!" I gasped.

"I could keep going if you want?" He smirked. Just when I thought the torture was over.

"No I'm good." I discreetly scooted closer to my boyfriend.

************

Oh God, I'm more lovestruck than I thought. I'm literally ogling the way he's drinking water.

WATER.

The only that made it hot was that he was shirtless.

He was sitting up against the headboard on his laptop drinking water. And I was facing him and laying on my side, watching him from under the covers creepily.

I groaned loudly and threw the covers off of me.

"Are you okay?" He asked slowly, putting his water bottle on the nightstand.

No! Don't stop drinking your sexy water!

"Yeah, I'm fine." I sighed. He took another sip of water.

"You wanna have sex?"

He started choking and cleared his throat. "Uh, what?"

I don't even know, honestly. It just randomly came out of my mouth.
"Well, I asked you a question."

He blinked, not able to comprehend what's being said. "I know that, but you said that kind of out of the blue. Not to mention that you just said we're not in that stage of our relationship."

"Do you want it or not?" I laid on my back.

He stared at me in confusion. "You really know how to fuck up a guy's head huh?"

"Cristiano." I called lowly. "Do you want it, or not?"

"Yes. I do. But not tonight. You need to think about this. Then we'll talk alright?"

I groaned and went to take a shower.

Jeez, he's so confusing. The other day he was practically begging for it and now he's saying to wait. Make up your mind!

"I was NOT begging for it! Cristiano Romano does NOT beg for sex!" He yelled. Oops must have said that aloud.

"Tell that to your love to touch hands, mister!" I yelled back. I could imagine the eye roll and smirk on his face.

I got out of the shower and wrapped the towel around me. I walked out and ignored his staring.

I pick out some Victoria's Secret lace  bra and panties and he says,

"The red ones. My favorite." He smiled cheekily.

I stole a random shirt of his and changed in the bathroom.

Here's the thing.

I did not know the shirt was short and loose. It stopped at the hip, barely covering my butt. This must  be a hip shirt, not a butt shirt.

I opened the door and he groaned. "Ugh, you're so sexy!"

"That's a bad thing?" I started brushing my hair.

"View wise, definitely not. But you're torturing me!" He sat his laptop on the nightstand.

He walked behind me in the bathroom and wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. I swept my wet hair onto one shoulder and he rested his chin on my other shoulder.

I continued to get the wet tangles out of my crazy black hair.

"I like your hair." He said.

I glanced at him in the mirror. "I like your hair too."

"I like your skin." His complements were getting weird.

"It's just ordinary skin, Cristiano."

"No. Your skin is pale and flawless. Not a single spot or blemish in sight. I like your pale skin." He kissed my shoulder.

"Really? I kind of hate how pale I am. I feel like a vampire." I looked at myself in the mirror. "I look like raw bacon compared to you with your perfect tan."

He laughed. "No, your paleness adds to the list of things that make you beautiful."

"I'm guessing you're going to tell me the list?"

"Yep. Let's see. There's your perfect hair, your beautiful eyes that light up when your happy. Your flawless pale skin, your delightful smile, the way you snort when you laugh, all of your cute habits, how happy you always are, how scary you are--"

"That's a very long list." I chuckled over my words.

"Well you're just that perfect. And you don't deserve someone like me. I'll break your heart." He said quietly.

"Heartbreak is a familiar feeling to me. I'm used to it. Heartbreak, is the least of my worries." I partially lied.

My brain doesn't work well with secrets. At some point, my brain's gonna get tired of holding it back, and I'm gonna tell him I love him. When that time comes, he's gonna say that he doesn't love me. And once again, I'll be heartbroken.

I keep thinking, 'your feelings are different this time, so the situation will be different' but no. It's won't. He won't love me no matter how much I love him.

He turned me around and pecked my lips before giving me a smile to make my heart skip a beat.

I love you.

__________________

I cried. Writing this makes me more emotional than I should be. It's freaky.

Bye, loves!

- COA