I held his hand, as it squeezed mine profoundly, I wanted to leave and so did he. The doctor shooed the worried mothers out of the room as we waited for the news. I couldn't look at his face, something told me he was disappointed.

I didn't want to hear the words I had feared of hearing, I had lost the baby again. I knew Nolan would never say it out loud, but he would be disappointed in me. Disappointed and dissatisfied with the fact that I couldn't produce and create his dream, he wanted a family. And in this moment, I felt like I couldn't give it to him, like my body was against the idea.

"Do you want the bad news first or the good?", she said softly, studying the scans in front of her eyes. She looked at both Nolan and I's face, he said it for us.

"Bad news first", he said sternly as he gripped onto my hands, I didn't want to disappoint him. He was my world, my heart and me losing this baby again would be the nightmare that would ruin us. We couldn't survive another loss, I wanted to believe he and I we were the strongest. But after seeing us fall apart and his tendency to leave I couldn't bear to see it now all unfold beneath us.

"Your baby, is in a complicated position this could change as you go on with your pregnancy but its a delicate situation, I know you already have been taking it easy, but this time I mean it no stairs, light food, stay in bed", she said and I looked over at Nolan's face this was the bad news, this was all it was. After so long, this was good bad news, we had heard worse and I had a feeling we would make it. I knew to be careful, to follow Dr. Nolan's orders.

His hand tightened on mine and his kiss on the top of my head was earnest and kindly affectionate.

"And the good news is you're having... twins", she said delightfully. His face lit up as I watched his hands sweep me up in a loving hug. I had missed this, when we were excited about something.

I let myself swallow into his arms, I felt his breath against my neck brushing softly, it felt just so good to be wrapped in his arms. We had been so worried coming into this appointment, I could tell from last night. He would wake up every couple minutes and check if I was okay, he would recover me with the plush blanket or refill the water next to me. He was worried, I knew he was.

And as I was wrapped in his arms, smiling happily I promised myself I would follow the doctor's orders no stressful activities, no excess working, and I wouldn't put us at risk.

"I'll let you two have a moment, I'll invite them in, after a couple of minutes", she said excusing herself from the room. He broke away from me and I saw him rush towards her. Tears lightly falling from his eyes, he hugged her too, so overtaken by this moment. This beautiful moment that I would always remember.

"Thank you", he said lightly as he broke away from her and her eyes matched with mine as I thanked her too. She smiled happily, maybe this was her reason why she continued on with this sometimes painful job.

The door closed behind her, and all I could focus on was Nolan, he was still in shock that the babies were okay, but even the fact that we were having two.

"We're having twins", I said feeling each word as it slipped out of my mouth, the moment was overtaken with our collected feelings and our previous pain that had caused momentous pain in our relationship. Tears were spewing down my cheek as I hugged onto him, this moment we would always remember.

Growing up I had always wanted a sibling, a best friend that would never leave me, we would spend every moment together. Someone that would go through the tough spots with me and beside me. Mel and I, we went through the world alone, I had our mom up until the moment she passed. Mel hadn't had anyone, I knew it would be different if she had someone that would go through the struggles with her.

"I love you", he whispered into my ear and I broke away from his hug staring into his midnight eyes. I loved the world we had created together, the life we had created for our blossoming family.

"I love you too", I said breathlessly kissing his soft lips. Absorbing each feeling that fluttered from his lips and focusing on that burning love that rumbled inside of me.

"I'm going to be a father to two", he said soundly, almost like he couldn't believe it himself. I was worried I would never have a second child or it would be life threatening for me. Now I was given two, this was far more than what I expected but it was more than I knew to ask for.

"I'll block the plugs, we have to put those foam pieces at the sharp edges of the tables, we need to get a highchair, another highchair, another crib..", he spoke out of love and worry that we wouldn't be prepared, I had known from the start that we would never be prepared enough for our babies, we would just go with it, and try the best we could.

"We have time, we have time to do all of that", I ran my hand against his back as he watched my eyes follow my hand. I knew he was scared, I could feel his heart racing, this was new for us. It scared us, it scared me that in just the next 8 months I wouldn't be able to keep them safe.

His eyes were still wandering along my face, I knew we were both scared of the world to come. But I held his hand softly letting him know we would do this together.

"Why don't you go get your mom and grandma", I asked him and he nodded his head, kissed the top of my forehead and went out the door.

I was alone with them, the two people that would constantly change my life, that I promised to love endlessly and I would always protect them even when I was gone. I would always keep them safe.

When I was younger, I couldn't cope with my mother's death she was my best friend, my only friend and I wished most days that she would've taken me with her. I know now that I would promise that these babies would be born with a family waiting for them and that they would be loved and cared for even if both of us had passed.

"Tell us the news, tell us", Alison and Nolan's grandma rushed into the room screaming. They were giddily smiling and I knew Nolan had seen his bright smile and known it was good news.

"Tell us come on", Alison begged as I heard the door shut behind us and Nolan walked in smiling proudly. I knew it would give him joy to tell them, so I nodded my head at him as he took a seat next to me on the bed.

"We're having twins", he said happily and as soon as the words were spoken, I felt hands wrap around me as tight as can be.

"I'm gonna be a grandmother to two babies", Alison said hugging me tightly, Nolan was being ambushed wit hugs from his grandma.

"Congratulations my dear", Nolan's grandma spoke, kindly with words uplifting my smile as well as hers.

The congratulations and questions to the doctor from Nolan's mom and grandma continued on for another hour or so, until Nolan and I excused ourself from our appointment as they stayed to chat, I was thankful they brought their own car and I was thankful that they promised not to tell a single person our news.

"We have so many people to tell", I said as we walked out of the clinic, knowing that we hadn't even thought that we would have joyful news to tell anyone.

"Well not really we just have Melody, and then my dad, my grandpa, Avery, Leah, Tyl-", he began listing off every person that we had to tell, which sounded like a lot.

"It sounds like a lot of people", I said cutting him off as we walked to our car, holding hands.

"We'll find a way to tell them, don't stress about it", he said warning me, I could feel that this would be a constant thing for the next eight months.

"Should we invite them over? Should we plan it at some fancy venue? Should we ask Caroline to plan it?", I rambled questions that were stuck on my tongue.

"Let's do all of that tomorrow", he said rubbing the small of my back softly.

He opened the car door for me as I carefully climbed into the passenger seat.

"Right now today I just want to focus on you and us and the babies we've created", he said miraculously, he was right. We had all the time in the world to tell others, but right now there's no other place I would be than snuggled up with Nolan and Melody and eating cheesy Seattle pizza.

We drove off as I told Nolan about my cravings for pizza and he promised he would order us some as soon as we got home and swung by to pick up Mel.

We swung by the school as I saw her gleaming face, her eyes wandered to our car and she broke away from her friend group and made her way over.

Ever since her first ever boyfriend had left it had been hard on her, I couldn't imagine the hurt she was feeling. But I was glad that she was feeling better, she was sad he had left but she knew this was what he had to do and there was no way for their relationship to work.

"How was school, Mellie", I asked her as I peered into the back seat and she buckled into her seat.

"It was good, it rained this morning and so we got to go inside for soccer we did horrible drills the whole time", she said and I nodded my head. I wanted to wait to tell her so that I could see her face, I could watch how she felt. She would have two nieces. Same age, same brain.

Mel all conversed into the car about soccer, and she tried to educate me about soccer all on the way home.

"I have some news", I told her as I walked side by side inside the house after putting her backpack leaning against the stairs.

She looked worried at first, but then she saw my smile.

"Tell me", she begged and I waited for Nolan to close the door and I invited him over as I got ready to tell her.

"We're having twins", I said and her smile was wider than I had ever seen, she wrapped her arms around me softly.

"I'm so happy for you", she said kissing my cheek softly and I hugged her back.

"What should we do to celebrate?", she asked and I already saw Nolan rushing to grab the telephone and the pizza menu.

"I was thinking we could watch a movie and eat pizza, how does that sound?", I asked her and she nodded happily.

"Are you nervous?", she asked me, it had been a question that was on everyone's mind. I was extremely nervous, nervous about becoming someone that could impact someone's life so much. I was nervous about disappointing my children, I was nervous about not being everything they needed in a mother.

"I'm nervous for becoming a mother, but I'm nervous that I'll mess this up. I love Nolan, but I don't know if we could survive another loss. ", I told her and she looked at me wearily, I knew it was wrong of me to not believe in us when things got rough. But I knew if I lost this baby it would be so hard to ever imagine a time where happiness exists for both of us.