tw: suicide, insensitivity, very emotional
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The car firmly parked in the gray garage, and I felt the overwhelming feeling or urgency to read the letter.

The rose colored envelope, sat calmly in my purse. Melody was sleeping in the back as I went to grab it. I had put off the letter the whole day, knowing it was of importance.

His name was written out at the top of the letter and I shuddered, remembering him making me say it.

It was a letter that would only hurt me more, as I traced over the neatly, pressed in words at the top of the address.

I tucked it back in my bag, wishing I had never received it. Wishing he would've never written this to me.

I couldn't tell the angel in the back seat, what he had done to me. She knew Daniel was, she knew he was the worst person she knew and hopefully the only one.

I knew what he was, a monster at best. I knew the feeling of his words could still control me, the simple presence of his words in my mind could always have an effect on me. It would never stop, the nightmares, the pain, the words and I knew this letter would only make it worse.

I shut the car door and slowly and softly woke up Mel, as she leaned against me. We walked to the elevator, with a slow pace. Her hands brushed against my leg as I pulled her up on my back as she held on.

I unlocked our level and opened the door to Nolan waiting on arrival.

Boxes scattered the penthouse, as I looked around and saw Nolan in his suit and with a wide smile.

"What is this?", I asked him and his smile increased widely. He held his hand out as I took it softly. He spun me around as I felt something being tied around my eyes.

"It's time for the surprise, come on." He whispered, he took Mel and I's hand and guided us back down to the garage.

"I am terrified", I said and Nolan chuckled as he kept guiding us to the car.

"It's a short ride I promise", he said and I voluntarily slipped into the front seat. The car ride was short and filled with unsolved tension, as Nolan's hand brushed against my exposed thigh.

The car came to a slowed pace and my door opened suddenly as I smelt the fresh air, and I knew we were far from the city.

His hand leeched onto mine, as I followed his hand guiding me out of the car. I held onto him, as he pulled me with him. He held my waist as he stood behind me and undid the slip. It fell to the ground as my eyes were captivated on the house.

It was vividly in my memory, and I looked back at the park across the street. It was still there, with the pink and purple bench we ate our cake on.

Tears ran down my eyes as I realized what he had done.

"This is our home, if you want to live here, I know it's old and-", he began saying as I crashed my lips against him and pulled away.

"It's beautiful, thank you", I said and he smiled happily as he held my hand.

"How did you know?", I asked, remembering how I spoke about this house with him, and the old couple that lived there. Everyday on my birthday, and my mom's we would come to the park across the street and eat our cake and she promised we would be happy together here in this very home.

"I have my ways and I'm hoping this will be our forever home, all of us", he spoke to Melody and I. I couldn't thank him enough for everything he did for me. Taking her in was something I didn't ask him to do, but he did it anyways and I will never be able to thank him enough.

"Listen if this is too much for you?", he asked and I shook my head, hugging his embrace.

"Our mom always told me we would be happy in this house, and she was right, raising you here in this house is a dream come true." She hugged me and listened to my words softly. She looked across the street, knowing these bones, this house would be the closet thing she had to mom's presence.

I remember the moments passing by through the stories we told, imagining the world where life was good. Where life was happy.

She would be happy looking down on us today. She would've loved Nolan, his words, his kindness and his heart was the many reasons why I fell in love with him. He was a pain in the beginning, a pain is a little exaggeration he was a nightmare, but who knew that could turn into something so good. Something I needed.

"She would've loved you", I whispered to him as I leaned against him. He nodded his head as he looked up at the large wooded house that stood in front of us.

"What happened to the couple?", I asked and looked over at him.

"Her husband died, a month ago and she said it wasn't the same without him. She wanted to stay for the memories, she wanted more to be created here. I told her how you and your mom would come here, and how you hadn't come back since and she said you had to have this house", he explained and I couldn't have thanked the woman more.

"Come", Nolan said and he guided us inside. The house was kept in shape with the polished dark brown wood boards and the open window overlooking a view of the ocean.

This is beautiful, it was and somehow it made me closer to her. Melody was still at the doorway studying the playground from across the street. I took the photo out of my pocket, and matched it up with the playground. I handed her the photo.

"We used to sit right there, and we would eat cake and sing songs and we would daydream about this house, she sat right there", I told her and she starred at the bench.

"Go ahead", I said and she ran towards the bench with the picture waving in her hand. She took a seat on the bench and I knew deep down she felt the connection here.

This was one of the places he had never come to, one of the places that was all ours for our dreams.

He had never poisoned this spot.

I wandered back into the house as I felt the roots and the history this house held and I imagined the memories that would be formed here.

I couldn't wait to raise my first child here, as they ran across the playground and sat right down on that bench.

"This place already feels like home", I told him and he nodded his head in agreement and I knew how much he had given up for me.

"We're far from the city, your work your penthouse-?", I asked and he took my hands and held them calmly.

"The city is a couple of miles away and my work is closer from here than the penthouse, and it's time to accept that I'm not a bachelor anymore and I have no business having a bachelor pad. I have a wife, and a kid and hopefully more coming soon", he said smiling and I looked around at the area.

"And besides this house reminds me of my childhood home, we used to live in before we became rich", he said and he understood the feeling of going back to the places that reminded us of home the most.

We left the house with an urge to return and I couldn't help but feel this day wouldn't be ruined by anything.

The letter still poked out of my bag, as I felt the need to tell Nolan on the drive home.

"I got a letter at work", I told him and he saw it as an everyday conversation.

"What'd it say?", he asked, tapping his hands against the steering wheel of the car. His smile was radiant and mine was dropping fast.

"It's from Daniel", I said and Nolan almost stopped the car in the middle of the highway. He looked at me and searched my face for an expression, any expression at all.

"Did you open it?", he asked trying to focus on the road, while his hand intertwined with mine.

"I haven't, I don't want to be hurt", I told him and he looked at me understanding the pain.

"As much as it may hurt you, I think you need closure, this letter may be your answer, just think about reading it", he suggested and I knew deep down I wanted to know the reasoning. Why? Why did he put us through so much?

I wanted to read it, I knew I needed too. It was either I read it or I burned it, but not knowing would make me regret it. Maybe he apologized? I would never be able to accept it. But maybe it was a reasoning of why, why he did what he did. What drove him mad?

By the time we had reached home, Mel was convinced the feeling she felt deep down meant she had to see Zeke at this moment. Nolan dropped her holding back his warnings and we arranged for his driver to drop her back.

"She'll be okay", I told him calming his fists, and I ran my hand against his.

"She's not who I'm worried about", he said calmly, not showing me his eyes.

"I'll be okay, you?", I asked him and he looked at me with confusion.

"I'm happy, too happy, when we get happy something goes wrong and I don't want-", he began saying as he felt his hand that rested on his lap being held against mine.

"I will never leave, I will always love you, and I'm always here. Something always goes wrong with us, our wrong timing makes our life the way it is and we always come back to each other because you Nolan are my soulmate", I assured him that he wasn't the only one who was scared of losing the other. I held his hand tightly as he smiled letting a tear slip from his cheek.

It was harder for me to express what I felt for him, he could do it so easily, so freely, yet for me it was like an avalanche and I was trying to hike up it. I knew when I told him how I felt it meant the world to him.

"I was going to go over to Tyler's, to help arrange the venue items and I'll get them a hotel room for tonight", he said and I understood what he was doing. He was smart, his actions spoke for him. He gave me time to think, and later in the night I would tell him what the many sheets of notebook paper were used for.

"Thank you", I said kissing his lips softly and he pulled me into his embrace.

I rode up to the elevator and stepped inside the penthouse, I had called my home for so long. The first place I had called home, the first place I had felt what love was like, what defeat was like, what lying to someone you cared about felt like. It would be cruel of me to say I wouldn't miss this place.

Hopefully the next lost, and afraid playboy would find the one he would spend the rest of his life with in these walls.

I slipped out of my shoes and I made myself a pot of coffee, and immediately cleaned and cleaned. Having something that he had once touched had made me feel filthy, unsafe and most of all alone.

I ran to my bag, wanting this feeling to return right back to the hole it came from. I picked the envelope up, examining the color again.

The pacing against the cold floor came next as my hands moved to remove the seal, but each time they pulled back.

I knew this feeling of resentment would crush me, until I knew what he had to say. Bile rose in the back of my throat, as I moved my fingers under the seal and tore it. The envelope opened and I took out the two page letter, that sat sternly in my hand.

Dear my child,

The bile began to raise even further, as I couldn't imagine him writing something like this. He always loved watching me fall for his phony tricks and just ending up getting played and disappointed in the end.

Smart girl, I never got to tell you that after fighting back. I never got to tell you but you amazed me the most, out of everyone your mother, Melissa everyone.

I barfed in my mouth as I didn't want to keep reading the letter and I wanted to be curled up in Nolan's arms. I wished he would read it.

The reason why, is because you look at me like I'm a monster but we my dear are exactly the same.

That's where he had it absolutely wrong, I would never be like him, never. He caused destruction, fear and panic throughout everyone know him.

I never had the capacity to love someone enough and you got that from your old pop.

He was right, as much as it cursed me. Nolan loved me, and I loved him but a part of me was always guarded up, always protected I wanted to be open but after so long of being guarded up it became natural for me.

Just like me you tried to make the world better. I tried until I realized the world was going to get even worse, and I couldn't help it.

His words were somewhat honest, I could never say we weren't alike, because as much as it pained me I had his face, his nose. I had my mom's heart always and I carried myself like she did, calm and patient.

My company was a non-profit at first, I wanted to help people. But as everyone turned me down, my ideas, my passions I became who I was today.

His company was a non-profit from the first day, yet when my parent's marriage fell apart he turned it into an investment company, illegal in every way. That's when the excessive drinking, hitting and flirting with women who weren't his wife all started. And it didn't end except when they were public, it was always smile here, cover this. No one asked questions.

And that's where today brings me. And that's where this letter brings me. I knew what I did, I know what I tried to hide. I missed someone to hold, I knew it was you the whole time but it was just nice to pretend that we were happy again. I loved your mom.

I ran to the bathroom holding back the throw-up that erupted from my mouth. I kneeled against the toilet as I barfed the contents of my stomach.

I wiped my mouth, and grabbed the letter back. I ran my mouth under the faucet as I threw the water back down the drown.

I couldn't be the dad you wanted, but I just wanted to be with you and when I saw you standing at that house I had to have you.

My stomach urged again as I leaned against the toilet. There was nothing left in my stomach as I gagged against his words.

For what I did to Melody, she looked too much like Lore, she looked like the younger version of her. I couldn't be her, and she never could be happy. I did love her, I wanted her to myself.

His words were drained as if all his emotion was stripped from him.

I want you both to know I love you both so much.

He said for the first time. Something I couldn't deny was he would always be my father, I hated him, I hate him.

The guards told the other prison mates what I did to you and Melody and I get beaten every morning, every day I step out of my cell. The guards don't stop them and I can't breathe in this prison.

He asked for pity, he wanted me to feel guilty, feel pity for him. I had not a single ounce of guilt for him, everything that happened to him he deserved. He took away Mel's childhood, he made her grow up too fast.

I always loved your mom and I've decided I want to be with her. I've found a way out and by the time you're reading this I'll be gone.

Daniel

The well broke loose as I traced his words over with my finger. The end of the paper was crumpled and his signature was signed so ever calmly. My screams of terror, rocked my mind as I ran for my phone. I called the number at the bottom of the page and the jail service picked up.

"Daniel Lawrence is he a-alive?", I asked not waiting to hear the voice on the other end.

"Ma'am, are you his daughter wife-",She asked trying to calm me down as my sighs of exasperation came clearly.

"Daught- I used to be his daughter", I told her and I heard clicking on the other end.

"He died last night, did no one contact you?", She asked and I hung the phone up and instead of feeling the wave of sadness normally felt. My feeling of emptiness turned into laughter.

"He's dead", I echoed, while laughing on the ground. He was dead and we were safe, finally after so long.

The front door opened quickly and I looked over watching her lock the door.

"Daniel is dead", I laughed and he looked at me struck, and tears leaked from her eyes as she ran to hug me.

Her laughter came second and more huddled, she laughed as hard as she could. After so long he died, after all this pain he was a coward, afraid of the pain he inflicted on others finally being inflicted on him.

It was wrong to be laughing, I knew it but for the first time I believed this world was just a little bit better with him gone. He had spent his life making our life hell and now we had no one stopping us from living to our full extent.

"We're free", she said, wiping the teams from her eyes. The first thing she said was exactly what I was thinking, we had lived under this cage for our safety, but we were finally free.

Mel had went to sleep and I covered a sheet over her as the night we had celebrated our freedom. I went upstairs, feeling the dirtiness of having something he touched with me.

My clothes fell by the door and I slipped into the warm water of a bath. The water was heated and warm as it finally hit me. My father was dead.

My tears echoed throughout the bathroom. My hands trembled as they dove in and out of the water, running against my back. His words from the letter replayed in my mind. I couldn't lose them, I couldn't lose that feeling of emptiness crowd around me.

The running against the stairs, I heard soundly but my terrified screams couldn't stop. My mouth, my fingers tingled and I could feel the world slip out of me.

The door forcefully opened and I looked at him with pain and terrifying agony that washed over me. He ran to the tub and slipped against my skin and held me tightly. He moved my fingers against the water and turned the faucet off as I dove my head into his chest.

"I'm here, I'm here", he whispered as a tear slipped from his eyes. He held my hand bending them constantly, as the feeling of numbness still coursed through them.

I couldn't stop myself as my well of tears broke through and landed against my cheek.

"He wrote me a fucking letter before he killed himself", I cried into his chest and he looked at me with worry as I felt him carrying me towards the bed. He didn't leave my side as he dried me off, and covered me with a robe.

I fell asleep fast in his arms of solace. My stomach urged again as I raced to the nearest toilet, I felt his hands holding back my hair.

"I'm sorry", I whispered to him as he carried me back to bed. His eyes were sworn with pain for me.

"You have nothing to be sorry for", he said moving a wisp of hair from my cheek and got back in bed with me.

"He couldn't take it, being the subject of violence and he ended his life after so many years of inflicting pain against us", I whispered to Nolan and he coddled me softly.

"Did you tell Melody?", He asked and I knew I had made the mistake of telling her when I wasn't right in my mind.

"We laughed", I told him and he saw the shear sadness that ripples through his expression.

"She said she was glad he was dead, she wasn't safe if he wasn't", I repeated and Nolan held my hand, feeling the coldness that could be felt against my body.

"Are you glad he's dead?", he asked and looked over at me.

"He's my father, I knew him when I was little he was someone I bonded with and even after everything he did I could never forget that, but I felt so relieved so safe when I heard , now he can never harm any of us ever again", I tried explaining. Nolan nodded his head as I leaned against him.

The next few days went by like a lightning bolt, Melody and I spoke and cried. It was easier for her to see his death as a good thing, because she hadn't known him like I did. I remember the good memories with him, but the bad ones are always there clouding over those