What was I doing? Ruining my marriage just when it had started. Happiness was something I didn't allow myself to have, but this time my walls were coming down and I would finally let him know why sometimes it's hard to sleep at night. Or why I can't talk to him about the things that bother me? Or why I have to act like everything is okay? I clicked the elevator button heading up to our floor, and finally I would tell him.

He stood at the elevator door, surprised to see me again.

"I want to talk, I want to let you in", I began saying as he sat on the couch and motioned for me to sit next to him.

"Then what's stopping you?", he asked and I looked up at those earnest eyes.

"It's just that, I've never had someone that wants to know about me, wants to know about how I'm doing, and I know we've been together for what feels like a while, but it's still so hard for me", I told him and he seemed to not understand.

"I want to know why, I want me to be that person who you can talk to about anything, you're that person for me you always have been", his tone was upset and sad, I could tell he was heartbroken by this we'd been together for 7 months and yet I couldn't let him in.

"I want you to be that person, but I just-", I mumbled the words and when I looked into his eyes no words seemed to make the way out of my mouth.

"I just", I began saying trying to push the words out of my taped mouth.

"Around the age of when I was 7, I was neglected by my father, he didn't seem to care for my mother or me and she reminded him multiple times. One night, he had come home with two girls kissing him, and she threatened to leave him. He threatened her with threats and violence against me and her", I said as tears spewed from my eyes and this time I felt my heart consume the pain.

"And then my mother pretended like he didn't exist and carried on with her life. I never told her this, but I had saw him one day force her to have sex with him, I kept hearing her screams and her crying and I had see-seen it and I wished I could go back and stop him and fight for her, but I didn't", I cried feeling the weight of all of this surrounding me.

"And then around the age of 9, I didn't know my mother was pregnant, but I guess I never remembered seeing her with a big belly, she was thin and pale most of my life".

"And on a night, where there was violent yelling, my mom and I took off, but he found us, he always did", I told him.

"And then the cancer came around when I was 12 and she stayed in the hospital most of the time, which meant Daniel had control over me and he sent me to a public school, he made me work jobs at fast food joints and such at the age of 12, he made me clean around his house and he treated me like a servant, and after my mom died, it got worse he didn't send me to school anymore until the state came knocking on his door and they made me finish", I told him and I could see the worry in his face.

"And then when I was 18, I went to live with Lauren, my moms best friend and then he found me and brought me back and that was the first time he physically hurt me, he told me about Melody and he said if I ever left again, he would kill her, and so the years until you met me I worked always going from one place to another, the money I didn't use went straight to hiring a private detective and that's why I had $500 at Ocean Shores, I originally had about $20,000, I spent that trying to get out of the country, when I found out I was being married", he laughed at the last bit and I nuzzled my head into his.

"That's me, that's my life story, that's all I am, and I hope that's enough for you, it's hard for me to talk about everything, because I was never given time to process and grieve and I know that now, that I need to grieve with you and talk about this", I told him as he looked into my eyes.

"I'm so sorry, you went through all of that, I had no idea", he said and he wrapped his arms around me.

"It's fine, I'm over it and besides it shaped who I am today, it's made me stronger", I told him and he kissed my forehead.

"So how do you feel?", I asked him and he leaned down and kissed my lips.

"I over exaggerated last night, and I shouldn't have made you talk, we all have different coping mechanisms", he said and leaned down and kept his eyes on mine.

"No I know now and I'm glad we talked about it all, now we can talk about our baby", I told him and he could see it in my eyes that it pained me.

"I was so excited to tell you that I was ready, and I didn't even know that I was already carrying a baby, it just makes me wonder did I do something? If I would've known, would this not have happen-happened", I asked him and he cradled me in his chest as tears poured down my cheek.

"I was ready for us, to take the next step for us to have a family, I wanted that more than anything", I told him and he leaned into me.

"I know babe, I know and we can still have a family", he looked at me and I leaned into him.

"What if I miscarry again? What if the baby doesn't survive? What if I lose it again?", I told him, knowing I couldn't handle any more loss.

"I'm willing to take that risk because I just know when we see our little baby it'll all be worth it", he kissed my forehead as I hugged him.

"I think I am, too", I said kissing his cheek and snuggling into his warm embrace.

"We've had quite a week", he whispered as I laid against his body, hugging him and wishing I never let go.

"I would say quite is an understatement, this week has been crazy and we still have a million things to figure out", I raced my fingers through his hair as he smiled at me.

"I'm gonna pull a you, let's just think about all of this tomorrow let's just have this day", he said as he slipped under the covers with me and we shared a moment, just breathing.

"I left Melody at Avery's", I remembered, cursing myself as I went to get up, but Nolan pulled me back down.

"I already called and Mel is staying at my moms. I wanted to have you in my arms tonight and I was going to go over there but you came and now you're in my arms", he said, holding me so tight.

"Thank you", I told him and he kissed me passionately. My hands ran down his chest.

"Would you like to dance with me?", he asked and his eyes followed mine. His smile was bright and mine was too, as he took my hand in his.

"I would love too", I said as he disconnected our hands for a brief moment and he went to turn up our stereo that was connected to the tv.

"Mrs. Clemente",he said interlocking our fingers as we swayed to the soft music.

"Promise me we will work everything out tomorrow", he asked me and I looked at him hoping he knew the truth, that this was something I wanted for the both of us.

"I promise", I looked into his worried eyes and he kissing my forehead.

"What's on your mind?", I asked him, as I watched him space out and stare into my eyes.

"You", he said with a large smile.

"What was I doing?", I jokingly asked and he saw the intrigue I had.

"Well why don't I just show you", he said swooping me up in his arms and he started carrying me to our bedroom.

That night was magical, and I remember falling to sleep with the love surrounding me yet again.

"Tell me on your first day of work, you're deciding to drink gallons of water, not a good start", he commented as the house was like a madhouse and everyone was running around with something. The only stable thing was the bottle of water that sat in front of me and my cycle of running to the bathroom every 5 minutes.

"I'm just nervous, I'm a nervous drinker and now I have a nervous bladder", I rushed to the bathroom and relieved myself.

"Nat, listen I'll drop Mel to school today you get to work, and good luck with your nervous bladder and your new job", he opened the door and kissed me as I sat on the toilet.

"Thank you", I told him as he waved goodbye and called for Mel to grab her things. Avery had dropped her on her way to work this morning which starts at 4:30, today was definitely a morning to remember.

I grabbed my coffee and headed out the door, hoping I would be happy hear. I was always working for someone else to benefit someone else, today I just wanted to work for me.

hey guys I'm so sorry it's been so long I promise to be more persistent with updates, I've just been going through shit the last few days with that guy he totally turned out to be a jerk and then my family is just messed up and idk I kept putting off publishing this cause I kinda wanted it to go another way I have no clue

I also did realize I never make the characters happy most of the time, my bad there will be rainbows and smiles all the way out here well not for every one ;)