(hey, i kinda wanted to try out this chapter, please let me know if it doesn't really make sense or any parts I need to change)

The flowers bloomed happily, in all shades of the fluorescent and pastel rainbow. The blood red rose that stood upward in front of the field beamed at me, with the rugged thorns clashing anything that would dare to put a finger on the stem.

I was tempted by my own curiosity, my own feelings of danger for this single rose. The rose was me guarded and kept away. I bent down to study the marvelous waving rose in the wind. So happy she once was. So loved she is now. So surrounded by happy beings and she can't seem to forget about her past that darkens her every petal, she's dying inside.

My hand reached around the stem, letting the thorns pierce my hand, harshly. I felt the burn of my hand and I sucked it in. My hands swiftly pulled at the stem, wanting to free the petals from what was holding it captive. I pulled and heaved and pushed but the flower wouldn't budge, it felt safe cornered and kept away from the flowers who loved her dearly. I pulled my hands away from the piercing stem, staring at the bloodshed that resigned on my hands.

I wiped my blood-stained hands along the white, perfect dress that flowed against my body. The red hands stained the dress, leaving a strong residue still turning my hands a light shade of red. The gushing blood stopped and the red wilting rose kept swaying along to the wind.

The petals fell to the ground smoothly and effortlessly.

I pulled again, feeling the thorns pierce my skin and the blood gush through.

"You should try these", an angelic voice spoke from the bushes as I turned to the side and saw a smile from the shadows. She stepped into the light as I saw the radiant beams that bounced off her. A younger me appeared with brown hair and a smile as wide as an elephant. In her hairs were a pair of scissors.

"T-Thank you", I stammered as she handed me the scissors and our hands touched and I felt the warmness of her skin. I took the sharp scissors and brought it to the stem.

"I love flowers", she spoke suddenly as I turned to her and she smiled. I went right back to chop the stem of my problems.

"I love your flower too", she shyly added as I looked back at her and she made that little smile and turned to the side, something I still did.

"My flower hurts others, it doesn't deserve to be loved by all the flowers", I spoke as I handed the scissors to her.

"All flowers deserve love, all people deserve love", I walked away from her, she didn't understand the looming feeling buried in my stomach or the moments when I brush my hands against the place he violated me.

"I know what happened, I know", she said breathlessly and I turned back at the little girl who faced me, her eyes were so similar to moms and everything else about her was comparable to me.

"I can't feel anymore, everything reminds me of it and I can't escape it no matter what I do", my legs began to feel weak as I felt the little me push me onto the bench.

"You need to accept it happened to you, you need to let it out, you've kept this buried inside you and it's eating away at you, and it's going to start pushing away the people you care most about, it's time to accept it", she spoke as I felt the weight of the world approach me. She felt it too as she stood up in the shaking world.

"I have to go I'm sorry", she spoke running off into the forest, gloomy and dark, everything I was against. I heard the pitter of her feet and pushed open the branches running after her.

"Wait", I yelled at her as she kept running. I ran behind her trying to keep an eye on her and I felt the woods around me as they snagged my clothing or a branch was in the way. It was the forest I never wish to be in ever again.

I pondered turning back, running away from my fears yet again but I remembered what the little girl said, it was time to accept it, that Ic like never change this, but I had to move on.

I ran following her swift movements as we approached the cabin. The root of all my fears stood before me, in all its misery and fear. The girl a few steps ahead of me stood pondering the cabin. I heard the scream, my eternal scream echo the forest and then the girl ran into the house, leaving me in the dust.

I wanted to leave to not face this, to not remember this memory I wanted banished from my memory.

The little girl, I couldn't let her see what he did. I couldn't. I ran inside the cabin throwing the front door open. I through open the doors rushing in to see where she went through.

The kitchen was on the other side of the door, the other side of this mayhem. I opened it slowly as tears streamed down my face and I saw myself draped across the kitchen counter naked and silent. Lying there useless, and naked. His hands wandered my body and I laid there with a tear falling down my cheek.

"GET UP JUST GET UP", I screamed at her as tears streamed from down my face. His grin reminded me of all he did.

I pushed him as I fell right through him every time. I whimpered along the door as I watched him humiliate me in every way possible. I slid down against the door as I screamed and punched the door letting it out.

" STOP, PLEASE STOP", I yelled as Daniel kept going, my body laid their lifeless and cold. Everything rushed inside me as I saw myself lying there I screamed.

"MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP PLEASE", I shouted and cried out into the air. I sunk down to the ground feeling the world crumble under me. Hands wrapped around me holding me as I screamed. My eyes were blurry and as the nightmare faded I awoke to Nolan holding me tight.

I dug my head into his chest as I cried, letting everything that had once consumed me be let free. I was safe in his arms.

"I'm so sorry, so sorry", he rocked me as I heard him sniffling, his hands raked through my hair.

"Nolan, I can't escape this, everything I've tried I can't, I can't forget about any of it", I weeped into his chest as he aligned my face with his and I saw his eyes as he saw mine. His eyes were filled with worry.

"I'm here, I'm here for you, we can get through this together, I'm never leaving your side", he spoke into my heart as I wrapped my hands around him.

"He hurt me, Nolan, he-he raped me, and I told him to stop, I told him he wouldn't listen he never listened, I'm sorry, I'm disgusting and filthy", I rambled on in between tears as I told the person I loved most in the world my fear.

"I'm so sorry he did that to you I had no idea, but you're not disgusting and filthy you're beautiful and brave, you are the bravest person in the whole entire world. You have nothing to apologize for, not a single thing. I'm here and I'm not leaving", he kissed my head in between words as he pulled me towards him as I cried against his chest. 

I wished I could stay like this forever, his warm arms wrapped around me as the sunny skies shined through the window.

"Thank you for last night", I spoke to him as he set aside his computer and hugged me tightly.

"I would do anything for you", he whispered into my ear as I smiled. He kissed me softly as I felt the sparks the love and everything magical.

He broke away, as I looked in dismay at him.

"I want us to wait, until you're ready, I don't expect sex from you, I don't want that until you want it. You are my world Natalie and you and I both know that we're one of those couples who don't need sex to let each other know we love them. You are my light and my love and I would give up everything to be with you", he laid his nose against mine as I kissed him passionately.

"I love you", I said looking into those eyes that had bared me their soul. I loved the idea that he could be so vulnerable with me, he could show me what most don't know about him.

sorry it took me so long I've been busy with school and it's my fault that I didn't post I wanted to get this chapter right and I kept kinda saving it and just putting it to a side cause I didn't really know how to write it. sorry, hope you a good day.

q. what's your favorite flavor of ice cream?

a. chocolate everything it's so good to me.

please vote and comment and I can't wait to read all of your comments.