Chapter 15

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Hurt, the feeling of pain, which I am so used to feeling; seeing from his face made me feel guilty of my words, but the impact has already been made and even if I want to take it back, I know I won't be able to and that leads me to feeling of regrets.

He did not say anything after that and looked thoughtful and I wanted to break the silent, but at the same time I wanted the silent, so I don't damage anyone- especially him. I am no better than he is, he plays with feelings and I use my words to hurt his feelings. I may not know his weaknesses, but it is seen that I always hit some spots, unintentionally and I am so surprised by that.

Sawyer came to check on us and I looked at him, trying to see if he is able to feel the tension between us and I think he either is pretending or oblivious about the situation. Elliot payed for our bills, Inspite of me saying- we should split it.

He just shrugged and stood up and waited for me to gather my things.I know, he is still upset and I should have said something, anything to make him feel better, but how do you make someone feel better? When the reality is so bitter and I am worse person who have not figure out ways to sugar coat things. I can never ever sugar-coat things and it worries me to speak a lot to someone who I don't know as I may sound way too offensive to them.

Elliot drove silently back to my house and I sat still, looking at him from time to time.

"If something is bothering you, it's better you say it loud than keeping it in." He said and glanced at me, before looking back in front.

"I'm sorry." I blurted out.

"Sorry for being honest?" He asked amused.

"Yeah?" I said.

"You always have seen the worse side of me." He frowned.

"Because that's what you show people" I said.

"I want to be better, just for you." He said and looked at me quickly. "I am not that bad as you think I am."

"You are not that bad." I agreed. "You can be nice, but I find it suspicious."

"I know, but I will win your trust." He said.

I hmm as a respond and looked out of the window. As we pulled over to my place and he helped me take the boxes to the door, he said. "I'm going to another party later."

"Okay?" I asked. "Are you warning me, that you might make a scene later?"

He laughed, "That and also I think I should tell you."

"Noted." I said. "You better not come to my place, later when drunk."

He did not say anything as he put the boxes near the door. "Don't miss me so much." He teased as he walked back to his car.

"In your dreams."

"Always." He said putting his hand on his heart. "See you, love." He winks before getting on his car.

and I feel the weird feeling of silence once again as I stood outside my house to see him drive away.

After my shower, I went down to see Phillip working on his laptop, he was wearing his reading glasses and looked deep into the work as he pursed his lip together.

He put his glasses down and looked at me, "Saw Elliot through the window." He started.

"Hey dad." I said.

"What was he doing here? Did you two went out together?"

"I had to pick up something from the mall and he has a car, convenient."

He nodded his head, "Why don't you call him for dinner tomorrow with us?"

I almost choked on my drink. "He is busy during the weekend."

He pursed his lip. "How about lunch?"

"He sleep in, most of the time."

"Okay." He didn't say anything.

"Why you want to invite him?" I asked.

He just smiled and did not answer.

Abby called me in the middle of the night and asked if Elliot was indeed in another party.

"You are stalking him now?" I scrunched my nose. "You have better things to do."

"I saw someone's Snapchat and the party seem lit."

"Too bad, you didn't get any invitation."

"Brianna is holding it."

"Of course." I said.

"Tomorrow we should go to Downtown."

"Downtown." I said thinking about the idea, "is it a good idea?"

"Always is." She said. "Meet me at the subway at 10:15 am. Don't be late."

"I am always punctual." I pointed out.

"How can I forget." She faked gasped. "See you tomorrow."

That night, I slept soundlessly because the green eyed boy never showed up to my place and I am not sure, how I really feel about it.

Explaining to Barbara and Phillip that I am meeting Abby today, seem pretty difficult today, as they assumed, that I was meeting Elliot, secretly. I didn't know that this day would even show up.

"Have fun." Barbara winked at me.

"It's Abby!" I said, my voice raised an octave.

"Whatever." Phillip grinned. "Call him for dinner, if you would like."

"He might have to attend some party and I am not meeting him, today." I said and waved them goodbye.

Abby was tapping her foot and looking around the busy subway even though it's a Sunday.

"What happened to the punctual queen?" She gasped.

"I didn't know a day would arrive, where my parents would be suspicious of me going out with you, they think I am with Elliot."

"Sounds like they like him." She smiled.

I scrunched my nose in disgust. "He and I can never be together" I said.

"Why?" She asked, frowning.

"We are the total opposite of who we need in each other's life."

"And who you need?"

"Someone who wants my heart for who I am and not for a sick game."



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