Soul Heart

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Gareth Roman, it was finally revealed through the entertainment news sites the following morning, had been dating Isobel Reign for the past five months. He had even been photographed sharing a cigarette with her on the balcony of Chateau Marmont just weeks earlier, with only a towel around his slim waist, and afterward, leaving the same hotel after her in what the gossip rags called her 'walk of shame.' They were also photographed a few times having lunch at the Ivy and Soho House.

Unconfirmed reports stated that the relationship had been kept under wraps so that the studios could capitalize on the rumored rivalry between Gareth and Ashe for Isobel's attentions. After all, Ashe had been dating Isobel for more than a year before the broke up shortly after filming for Sentience wrapped. Because of the publicity push, the rivalry worked wonders for the movie, especially in the foreign markets where love triangles were popular among fandoms.

The next morning, a blind item appeared on a gossip website about two co-stars who had almost come to blows during a press junket over a picture of one of them kissing the other's alleged girlfriend. Promotions for the movie they were starring in would now be done separately, with the lovebirds heading for Brazil and other parts of South America, and the other one walking the red carpets alone with the film's director in Asia.

It made Riley's head spin to read all these things, especially the articles about Gareth and his relationship with Isobel Reign. At least, he'd made a good choice, she thought, for it would guarantee him an automatic role in most of the movies Isobel's father produced in the future. It would make him a bigger star than he already was.

But why had he said the things he had to her? Why had he kissed her?

Because he could, of course.

According to some reports, she was the same woman seen sharing a cab with Ashe and who had been spotted with him at a noodle restaurant—which meant she was seeing both actors. Because of this, fan forums labeled her a skank, a term that infuriated Riley. She had to stop reading the comments because they only made her mad as hell, not knowing how to begin defending herself. Was it even worth it to defend herself to strangers? She hadn't even begun explaining herself to Ashe.

At the thought of Ashe, Riley started by writing him a note, something that she could read out loud when she'd finally get to talk to him. She didn't know why she was feeling so guilty when she hadn't done anything wrong, but she did.

Ashe had made her feel things she hadn't felt before—beautiful being one of them, and special, too. He'd looked at her in a way that no one had for a long time, his gaze never just drifting down to her breasts along with their conversation. It was as if Ashe saw her for more than just her boobs, and she liked that feeling. She missed it, and she wanted nothing more than to get it back. But then, she messed up.

She kissed Gareth Roman.

So Riley wrote down her feelings on paper, crossed out the words, then added more only to cross those out also. She ended up with a full sheet filled with scribbles, some of them tear-stained and smeared with pecan pie. Unlike Paige, she wasn't about to let the rest of the pie go to waste.

In the end, Riley settled for the first draft she had written the night before, held it in front of her as she dialed his number, praying he wouldn't answer the phone—but at the same time, also hoping that he would. Her first wish was granted, for her call went straight to his voicemail. Riley's heart was beating so fast she was afraid it would burst out of her chest, but she held the note in front of her face, closed her eyes, and began speaking. Forget that she didn't even read her note, but she knew it was now or never.

"Hi, Ashe, it's me, Riley. If you've seen the news, then you know what I'm calling about. I'm so sorry for what happened. I didn't mean for it to happen, but anything I'll say now will just be an excuse for something I should have known better to do." She paused, realizing she hadn't read a single word from her note and she wasn't exactly making sense. She panicked briefly, searching for more words to fit the silence on the other end of the line. "I don't know what else to say, but thank you for your lovely flowers. I wish I deserved every bloom, but I don't."

After she hung up, Riley swore never again to eat three-quarters of pie in one sitting—and lose all the weight she had gained from all that pie so she could fit into Paige's dress.

But if Riley was anxious all week that all that pie would go to her hips, she had nothing to worry about. The day before the charity gala, the dress fit her perfectly, not because she had dieted, but because for the last five days she'd been too miserable to eat. Not that anyone would have noticed, for she maintained her usual bubbly persona at work.

But Tessa did.

"I feel like there's some void where your heart chakra is," Tessa said when the afternoon rush was over, and Riley was setting up a corner of the cafe for the book club to meet that evening. "Your Anahata chakra."

"My another hotta-what?" Riley had been lining up the chairs, making sure everyone would have enough legroom and until then, she hadn't been listening.

"Your Anahata chakra. Right here," Tessa replied, pointing to the center of Riley's chest. "It's the seat of balance within your body, and it's quite unbalanced right now. It's also the place of love and compassion. Are you feeling conflicted about self-love or self-acceptance?"

Riley shrugged. "You tell me, Tessa. I just got caught kissing a man I don't love, who turns out to be seeing some gorgeous actress, and I see everyone who comes in here as potential paparazzi. Therefore, I'm paranoid as hell. What do you think?"

"I think you should apologize."

"To Gareth?" Riley snapped. "Are you kidding me?"

"No!" Tessa looked at her incredulously. "To Ashe. Tell him what happened—that it was Gareth who came here and sought you out, and not the other way around, the way the gossip sites are making it look like. Ashe is the one you really like, right? If not, I know he likes you, or he wouldn't have waited hours for you to end your shift that day. Besides, I think he's a gentleman. He seems to know how to treat a woman right."

"Well, I did apologize to him, but he never called me back," Riley said.

Tessa's face fell. "He didn't?"

Riley shook her head. "No, and I can't blame him, I suppose. I wouldn't be surprised if he's just written me off and moved on."

"I'm surprised he didn't have the decency to call you back," Tessa said, frowning. "And I know you're upset and heartbroken, too, even though you won't admit it. I'm so sorry, Riley."

"Well, it was fun while it lasted. I mean, when will something like that happen again? Two Hollywood stars at the Library Cafe one day apart, and business has been booming since then," Riley said, forcing a smile. "But I'll be fine, Tessa. I will."

"You ought to take some time off, Riley," Tessa said. "Even Allen's getting worried about you, and I know he's scheduled you with time off tomorrow and the day after that. You're hardly eating anything as it is."

"That's only because I have to fit into Paige's dress for her charity gala tomorrow night," Riley said, lining up the last of the chairs even though they didn't need it, but she needed to be busy. "It already fits, thank God, but all I want to do is stay home."

"Then stay home," Tessa said, following Riley to the back office. "That's probably one of the reasons your heart chakra is not balanced. You're doing everything to please everyone else. You hardly do anything for yourself. That's what the Anahata is—your heart, as in 'follow your heart'—and you're definitely not doing that. Unfortunately, everyone else has their agenda when it comes to their hearts, and you need to follow yours."

Allen had gone home for the day, and it was Riley's turn to sit in his cramped office. She turned to face Tessa, meaning to shut her up but then paused. Why should she do that when Tessa was speaking the truth? The girl was right.

"Where do you get all this stuff from, Tessa?" Riley asked. "Anahata, chakras, imbalances?"

"I'm a yoga instructor—or I was when I lived in San Francisco. I need to get my certification renewed here if I want to teach again," Tessa said. "But don't change the subject. That's where the imbalance is coming from, you know, or part of it at least. You can't do anything about Ashe or Gareth, but the more you beat yourself up over what happened, the more unbalanced and unhappy you'll become. There's nothing you can do about them, so just let it go."

"But doing things for other people when you don't want to do them—that's what's causing the significant imbalance," Tessa continued. "You're unhappy because of it."

"Shouldn't you be at the counter?" Riley asked. She didn't object to the impromptu counseling session, just to its timing, for a customer was standing at the counter, waiting to be served.

"I'm sorry if I'm butting into something that's none of my business. But ever since that whole hullaballoo with Gareth and Ashe, and now with this gala you don't want to go to, you've been miserable. We can all see it," Tessa said. "You're also cranky as hell."

"Tessa, there's someone needing help at the front," Riley said, her patience running thin. She appreciated the concern, but this was too much.

Tessa headed for the door, then stopped and turned to look at her. "You're not happy, Riley. And I don't mean, like, really happy-happy to be here. I mean you're not happy—soul-happy. To be honest, though I've only known you for a few months, I'd never seen you glow as much as you did when Ashe was around, even if that was only once. You didn't glow like that when Mr. Big Shot Gareth Roman came by, not even close."

"Tessa," Riley warned, and Tessa stepped out of the office. But she surprised Riley by sticking her head through the door barely five seconds later.

"Ashe will come through, Riley. I just know he will," Tessa said.

"And how the hell do you know that, my new-age counselor?" Riley asked, marveling the girl's indomitable spirit.

"His Anahata chakra was quite balanced when I saw him here," Tessa announced, grinning. "And he's the type who follows his heart—his soul-heart."

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