AMOS

Before we proceed any further, I think it'd be appropriate for me to give you a little insight into what my life, up to this point, has been like. I was born to an Indian father and a Nepali mother, both of whom were longing for a female child. 

Unfortunately for them, they got me instead. They weren't very pleased when they saw my wiener. Similarly, I share that feeling of disappointment when I look at my wiener even now.

That aside, it'd been a dream of mine to pursue medicine after my father had ended up passing in the hospital due to carelessness of medical "professionals". Shortly after, my mother died of the same cause. I'm now twenty-six and deprived of a family. I have nobody to go to during festivals or events that should otherwise be enjoyed with family. Which is why I choose to bother my best friend instead.

Enter Alex Black, a friend I met in my time at college. He ended up dropping out shortly after because "the doctor life simply wasn't for him". As much as I can't stand being within a 7 feet radius of him, he is the reason I chose to continue working hard to get to the point I am. 

Cough. He totally didn't say he'd strip me naked, lay me down on the middle of a busy road like a cutting board and drift over me with his Land Cruiser if I chose to drop out. 

As you can tell, he's a lovely person.

Back to the main point. You'll only need the basics for now.

I tugged at my incredibly comfortable scrubs. God, they were so comfortable I could've laid down on the floor and slept a whole night away. However, I don't think that's the ideal thing to do in a hospital - especially as a resident doctor.

"Oh, Dr. Wang?" I called out once I noticed the familiar head of white hair. He turned around and greeted me with a tight, professional grin. "Good morning, Mr. Singh. Today's your first day of residency, am I correct?"

I nodded. I was already only an inch away from shitting my pants out of fear and running out of that God damn hospital that smelled an awful lot like the cough medicine I'd been force fed as a child. 

"Great. I'll be accompanying you for the most of your time as a resident doctor. I'm sure you already know how this works?"

I nodded. 

But I didn't know. I didn't know shit.

"Perfect," he smiled before turning and beginning to walk elsewhere with his notepad in hand like he was a damn therapist. I stood in my place and let him walk a few feet away before realization hit me.

Hold up, where was he going?

Then, he turned around and raised a brow at me when he realized I wasn't following. He shouted, "Follow me, Mr. Singh. We don't want to be late to your first appointment."

"Oh," I asserted dumbly before rushing after him, almost tripping over my own feet a couple hundred times. 

After what seemed like a whole hour of right and left turns, he led me to a room I assumed I'd be spending a decent amount of time in. 

"Sit," he instructed like I was a dog. "Your first patient will be here soon. Are you nervous?"

"Yes," I said honestly, taking my seat behind the desk whilst fixing my clothing.

"I assure you, the patients have more to be nervous about than you do," he began. I was just about to agree with him when he proceeded: "Except the chance of being sued, the chance of having to be subjected to projectile vomiting, maybe a little bit of feces, lots and lots of blood by the way. A whole blood fountain. Get ready for all that. What else am I forgetting?"

"Is your job to make sure I'm nervous before I see my first patient?" I let out before I could stop myself. 

Jesus, Amos. He's your senior. Watch yourself.

To my surprise, he let out a small laugh, "My apologies. How about I get you a glass of warm water to cool your nerves?"

"That would be great," I nodded. "But maybe later. I'm afraid I might fart if I drink that water."

Amos, will you shut up?

He said nothing. Only cleared his throat and shuffled over behind me in silence. I assumed he was disappointed that out of all the resident doctors, he'd have to watch over me. 

I understand, Dr. Wang. I'd be disappointed too.

"Ah, there's your first patient," he acknowledged as the door slipped open and the assisting nurse gave way to the first patient of the day - or, my first ever patient.

An old lady who seemed to be clinging onto life. She limped her way over to my desk and took a seat, setting aside her cane and staring me right in the eyes.

We stared at each other in silence for what seemed like forever before Dr. Wang nudged my shoulder.

"Oh, right. Good morning.." I leaned over to the computer on my desk and read out, "..Mr. Greg?"

"Do I look like a Mr. Greg to you?" the old lady let out monotonously.

"Oh oops," I mumbled. "Looks like I read the name below yours instead. Mrs. Wendy, is that you?" Once I'd gotten a nod of confirmation, I proceeded, "What seems to be the problem, Mrs. Wendy?"

"Do you mean in general or just regarding my health?"

Dr. Wang chuckled from behind me and the elderly pair shared a fit of laughter while I sat there, unamused.

"Well, I've been having problems with my stomach lately," she admitted. "I've become very gassy as of last month."

I didn't even have to ask her what she meant - because, in that very moment, she ripped the loudest fart I'd ever heard in my entire twenty-six years of life.

Dear God, spare me for today.