AMOS

After the date came to its end, Micah had driven me back home in silence and bid me goodbye at the front door with a kiss on my forehead. After that day, we only exchanged brief texts between each other, not once mentioning the kiss.

It was driving me absolutely insane.

I hadn't told Alex - or anyone else for that matter - about the kiss. I knew I'd never hear the end of it if I did, and truthfully, I was too ashamed to. I found myself on multiple occasions on the verge of sending Micah a text asking him if we could speak about what happened, but I always chickened out in the end. 

At that point of time, my feelings for him were evident. I struggled to admit it to myself but my heart was well aware that I had developed feelings for the man whom I had formerly regarded as Satan's firstborn. 

I felt as if the feelings had been there for a decent while, the kiss was the final thing that sealed the deal - that made it all crystal clear. 

I found myself distracted at work as well. Thankfully, I still tended to the patients the best I could but my mind always wandered back to that kiss, and Micah himself. 

I didn't know how to feel about the entire thing and I so badly wanted for him to send me a text clearing me of my doubts. Had he simply done that in the heat of the moment or did he have feelings for me as well?

It had to be the latter, right? If not, then how could he explain the forehead kiss after dropping me off at my place?

Or maybe I was getting ahead of myself. After all, like Alex had initially stated a few months prior, this isn't Wattpad. Nor will it ever be. Perhaps if this were a book, he would've reciprocated the feelings I had for him. For now, all I could do was cross my fingers and hope that he liked me the way I liked him. 

Even if he didn't, all I could do was sit and accept it. I knew I'd have a hard time doing so but there were no other options I'd be presented with. 

My heart was eating itself up at that point. I wanted to rip it out of my chest every night I spent thinking about his stupidly handsome face and that stupid kiss that we'd shared. 

But not once did I regard it as a mistake.

Not once did I regret what I had done.

It was quite the opposite, actually. I was glad to have achieved a peace of mind. I felt as if I'd been waiting to do that for a while up to that very point, and I finally mustered enough courage to be able to do so. 

However, I wanted to do it again. 

As shameful as it is to admit, I missed the way his lips felt against mine. I missed how gentle he was, caressing my cheek and pulling me closer to him. I missed how he pressed his forehead up against mine for a few minutes whilst stroking my cheek after we pulled away. I missed it all. I wanted nothing more than to relive that moment all over again.

I was jealous of my past self, you could say - as stupid as it sounds. 

"You've been down lately," Alex pointed out. "Is something the matter?"

"Not really," I lied, fiddling with my fingers.

"You're lying," he gasped dramatically. "You always do that finger thingy when you're lying. C'mon, you know you can tell me anything. I've known you for years now."

"You're never going to let me off the hook for this one," I whined, stuffing my face into the pillow. 

"I promise I won't act too crazy," he proposed. "Please? Pretty please with the prettiest cherry on top?"

"Fine," I said, finally giving in. "You see.. you remember Micah?"

"Oh yeah," he said, the mention of Micah's name augmenting his engrossment. "Go on."

"Him and I kissed," I said, already suspecting an oncoming freak-out session. 

And it came, alright.

He began jumping up and down on the couch like a monkey on narcotics whilst screaming at the top of his lungs. I was sure my eardrums would burst any second then. 

"Calm down," I pleaded. 

When he refused to listen, I threw the pillow aside, sat upright and pulled the fucker's pants down to his ankles. 

"MY BYE KITTY BOXERS!" he screeched, running off into the other room at the speed of light.

Sigh.