Seated in the backseat of Michaels car we were on our way back to the house. I couldn't stand to even look at my brother. The whole ride was dead silent, and me trying to manage the lump in my throat. I was shaking and trying to control my breathing. Tears streamed down my face nonstop. It was too much. Had I known breakups would be like this I would have stayed single for the rest of my life.

When we got home I walked passed him, ignoring Leahs greeting and headed straight up to my bedroom. I had a few more days until graduation. I'll visit my family in Nairobi but I didn't plan to stay. There was no way. He'll be lucky if he ever see me again.

As a matter of fact the day I turn eighteen this summer I'm done. I'm tired of this. All I ever wanted was to be happy. I don't understand my brother doing this to me.

"Rai, you hungry?" Michael said while knocking on my door. "Please go away," I uttered at a volume he could hear.

"You need to eat, you haven't had anything since earlier at school." He spoke loud from the other side of the door. No Michael, actually I didn't eat at all today.

I was so pissed about Adrian not answering the phone I couldn't eat. I didn't even think about the possibility that he would actually break up with me.

I ignored him and picked up my phone to call Sienna. "Hello."

"Hey Rai how are you? You talk to him?" She asked very concerned.
"He broke up with me." I admitted.

She sighed. "I'm sorry Rai." She paused. Are you ok?" I knew what she meant just by the way she asked, but I meant it when I said I wanted to live. "Yeah I'm ok. It just hurts."

"I'm here for you, you want me to come over?" She asked. "No I'm ok. Besides you've been over here a lot lately."

"Clear me some space in the closet and I'll practically be your roommate." She replied trying to lighten the mood. "Trust me you wouldn't want to, with all this bad energy. It'll suck the life right out of you. I'm so ready for graduation." I groaned.

"You want to go find a dress tomorrow?" She suggested. "I have one. I just need to pick it up. We can go get it and then do something afterwards."

"Hmmm we never went Indoor Skydiving. Something to get your mind off of this for a little while." Sienna always knew what to do as a supportive friend. I thought about it. "You know what, let's do it."

"I'll call in the morning to see what they have available." She said with ease and just like that it did lift my spirits a bit knowing I had her in my corner. "Thank you." I smiled.

"You know I got you. I will never let my best friend drown. —Even though I'm just now learning to swim." We both laughed. It got quiet and all of a sudden a wave of sorrow came over me. "I miss him Sie." I painfully whispered.

"I know you do and it's going to hurt like hell. I really hate that you're going through this. I wish things could be different. The two of you were so good together." She said soothingly.

"Yeah, but I can't fight alone. He's not willing to try anymore. When my brother found out about us Adrian would always reassure me that he wasn't going anywhere. I guess that last battle was his last straw after all." I said while looking at my ring he gave me and thinking about all the promises he made to me.

"Don't doubt what you had. It was amazing. I've never seen you smile that much and show so much affection. —I feel like this relationship helped you to open up." She added but it only made my breathing pick up and tears fall.

"I love you Rai Rai."

"I— love you— too." I stammered, through sobs. "I'll call in the morning to check on you, ok? Tomorrow is our day, we will get through this together." She said understanding I needed a moment.

"Ok."

"Ok." She hung up. I sat on my bed and cried for a minute, because I knew holding it in would only make me sick. I ended up taking a shower and going straight to bed.

****

Walking out of the building with my diploma in hand. It felt great, I did my speech and that went well.

Everyone except Adrian of course was there. I haven't been speaking to Michael. Leah was getting pulled and tugged between us.

They were talking about going out to dinner to celebrate. I wasn't feeling the idea.

"I think I'll turn it in early. I don't feel good." I announced.

"Alright Leah get KJ and lets go." Michael said as he walked passed me not even looking my way.

"Look Rai I know you don't want to go anywhere but do you want to do something at the house maybe?" Leah asked. "No that's ok, I'm actually tired. Today was exhausting and stressful." I answered.

"Ok, well I bought you a cake at the house. It's in the fridge if you want some." She softly conveyed. She wanted to make things better for me. But that was something she couldn't do. No one could.

"Thank you Leah." I said bringing her in for a hug, and they left after.

"Say girl, let me borrow yo' cap n gown?" Sienna shouted in her pretend deep voice walking up behind me."Ha you're not funny." I smiled at her.

She laughed. "No but I'm serious, I don't graduate until June. Come on off that."

"You're so silly." I giggled. "But for real seeing you walk across the stage, is getting me hyped. I can't wait." She squealed.

"June will be here before you know it. I'll be back here for your big day." I wasn't missing that for anything. Sienna and I talked for a bit longer and she understood I didn't want to do much for graduation. She did get me a gift which was zip lining for two. She said it was my turn to celebrate.

We said our goodbyes as well as Chance, Rita, Troy and Amina. I was happy to see all of them seated out front in the reserved seating area. I was alone for my drive home, which I loved. I took a little detour at the dog park my brother stopped at once.

Seated at a bench I pulled my phone out. I found myself going through old messages and pictures. I missed my relationship. I missed the conversations, and the little flutters I'd get. I missed him so much.

I had been secretly hoping he would show up. I'd run into his arms and everything would be ok. I'm wasn't angry with Adrian anymore I just missed him. My nights were the hardest because I was still having dreams about him. Only to wake up disappointed.

The park was nice and peaceful. They really had a whole setup for dogs. An obstacle course, tug ropes and a fetching area. Dog trainers and sitters were struggling to keep the leashes untangled. It was a sight to see. The only thing missing was my purple notebook. Being at the park made me crave writing.

I stayed for about two hours then went home. I did manage to grab something to eat on the way.

Pulling up to the driveway I saw Leahs Denali and Michaels Audi and G Wagon. I parked my Tesla beside them, grabbed my food then headed inside.

I heard laughter. The noise came from the kitchen. I headed that way to wash my hands so I could eat my food. When I got there I saw Leah, Michael and KJ eating together. I stood watching them, they hadn't notice me.

I was happy for them but honestly a little bitter about it. How does he get to be happy and have his family? It was good he had this though. After all we've been through. Even with Leah, the same with her. She had been through so much. This was good to see. I wished Michael could see how Adrian made me feel.

"Raina, I didn't even hear you come in." Leah greeted spotting me. "I just got in actually." I replied, walking over holding my fist out for KJ to pound and he did.

"Where were you?" Micheal looked up asking. "Not with Adrian." I went over to the sink to wash my hands and to put my food on a plate. He sighed. I grabbed my plate and my bottle of water and went to sit at the breakfast nook. They were seated at the island.

I silently ate my food. Leah came over and joined me. Michael and KJ left to go upstairs.

"Rai, it's your graduation day." She glanced at me. "Yeah."

"You can finally say bye to high school. Hello to college. You get to live on campus and just have fun. Experience new things." She sung out. "Yeah."

She sighed. "Break ups are not easy trust me I know. It will get better with time." If only it could be that simple. She knew it wasn't that simple so why would she say that? Stuff like that annoys me the most. Be more considerate.

"Yeah." I repeated again getting up to wash my plate and discard everything else. She got up walking behind me. "I'm sorry."

"You didn't do anything." I brushed her off not wanting talk anymore. She couldn't relate so we had nothing to say to each other. "Ok." She nodded.

"You need anything? If not I'm going to my room?" I added, turning around to face her sounding irritated. "No, you can go ahead." She answered, taking a step back. Peering down at the floor she was about to turn away but I stopped her.

"I didn't mean that. I'm sorry. I just miss him. I didn't mean to take it out on you." I said, getting emotional. Any little thing sent me over the edge. "It's ok." She gave me a little smile.

"Didn't you say you got me a cake?" I stared at her. "Yes it's in the fridge." She smiled big as she went to take it out. The cake was beautiful. My favorite red velvet with cream cheese icing. The cake was decorated in red, black and white with tassels and cap n gowns. It read Graduate Raina Lorrin Jackson with congratulations written on the bottom.

"Thank you Leah, it's beautiful." I cooed. "No problem." She gave a warm smile. We sat and ate some of the cake. It was so moist and fluffy. Perhaps some of the best I've eaten aside from mama Lauries.

We sat and chatted. Something we hadn't done in a while. We spoke about decorating my dorm and a little about an idea she had about the dance studio. I didn't want to lose the closeness I have with her. I was grateful we had chance to catch up.

We cleaned the kitchen and vacuumed the living area. We then hugged and parted ways for bed.

{Song: "Sleeping With A Broken Heart" By Alicia Keys}

{I don't have any questions for this Chapter, I'm pissed with Mike right now😑}

{Nah I'm playing😂, How do you guys think Rai is really doing mentally? (I personally feel like she's a lot better than she was in the beginning.)

{Thank you guys for all the love and support, this is really amazing!}

{Don't Forget to vote, Comment and Share}

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