"Jacob Joseph Jingleheimerschmidt"

"Huh. Never heard that one before."

"Really? An original nickname by yours truly? You should feel honored."

"Oh trust me Lassie, I do."

"Well enough business talk. Wanna hear the good news I was planning on telling you today?"

"Yes!"

"Wellllll, after three torturous weeks, my body finally got over this god awful cold, and the doctors moved me out of iso!"

"Really? That's great Lassie!"

"Yeah, I can't wait to get back to my room. It's been way too quiet in here. I feel like I can hear my social skills dying."

"Haha well I'm sure your sisters will be able to fill your room up with noise in no time."

"Yeah, probably...but I may have had some other people in mind too."

"Oh really? Like who?"

"Oh I don't know, starts with a J ends in an ake maybe..."

"Ohhh."

"Yeah. Soo what do you say?"

"Well, uh, normally I would love to Lassie...but I have a few basketball games this week so I don't think I'm going to be able to make it."

"Oh, okay...maybe next week then?"

"Yeah, yeah, sounds good."

"Okay. Well my nurse is giving me the eye because I need to stay on my pill schedule, so I gotta go. Talk to you later?"

"Of course. Bye Blaire."

/////////////////////////////////////////////////

4 days later...

1 New Text Message

Blaire: You. Me. Harper. Kimmy. Monopoly to the death. You in?

Jake: Danggg, boardgame violence? What the heck did I get myself into with this friendship.

Blaire: We're hardcore, Jake. You either ride the train or get out of the way.

Jake: In the words of you, just know I'm rolling my eyes at you.

Blaire: you still haven't answered my question...

Jake: I wish I could Lassie but I have a ton of homework tonight.

Blaire: what if I helped you with your homework? And for a limited time offer I'll throw in a travel set of hospital socks.

Jake: tempting tempting, but I still can't say yes.

Blaire: :(

Jake: Aw come on Lassie, don't do that to me. You know your emoji sadness gets me every time. I'm sorry I can't come. I'll make it up to you.

Blaire: Okay fine. But just know that the next time monopoly comes around I'll be prepped and ready to whoop your ass.

Jake: Looking forward to it :)

///////////////////////////////////////////////////

3 days later...

1 New Text Message

Blaire: I'm starting to think you're ignoring me.

Jake: What do you mean Lassie? We talked on the phone 7 minutes ago.

Blaire: I meannn you've found an excuse to avoid coming here for the past 2 weeks. And at this point I'm struggling to believe that basketball and junior English homework are truly that time consuming. So what's the deal? Am I too loud? Too hideous? Too many paintings of teddy bears on the walls when you have an intense fear of teddies?

Jake: You caught me, I have agrizoophobia

Blaire: I knew it.

Blaire: Joking aside, what did I do?

Jake: You did absolutely nothing wrong Lassie...I just can't help but feel like it's all my fault.