CHAPTER – 41

LOVE IS... YOU

'Love is old, love is new. Love is all, love is you.' – The Beatles

Day – 20

It took my exact half an hour to get ready and to pack a few clothes to take with me to my parents' place, and fifteen minutes for the cab to arrive at my apartment.

My thoughts stayed fixed on my Dad. No matter how much I wanted to stay positive about his health, there was a speck of negativity in my mind that was keen on making me think about the worst that could happen. No! He had to be alright. Of course, he was fine. He's my Dad after all; my superhero. The man who, despite his flaws had always been the best father I could ever ask for; the man who selflessly fulfilled my needs no matter how unreasonable they were; the man who considered me as his son, his daughter, and the apple of his eyes. Yes, he was fine. He didn't have any other alternative.

Tugging my hair behind my ear, I looked outside the window with my teeth digging in my bottom lip. My tear filled eyes landed on a very familiar building and in an instant, I asked the driver to stop the car.

"You want me to take a U-turn?" he asked, looking at me through the rear view mirror.

I shook my head. "No. I just have to meet someone here. I'll be back in five minutes."

With that stepped out of the cab and hurried towards his apartment. Some guy was already entering the place, so I grabbed the opportunity and entered the building without ringing the bell. Wiping the tears that had stained my cheeks in the last half an hour or so, I ran up the stairs to meet him one time before leaving. I wanted to see if he was okay. I needed to see him, to make sure that he was okay. And to tell him that I was leaving for my hometown right now. He had asked me to wait. So how could I not?

I stopped once I reached his apartment door and raised my hand to ring the bell only to stop myself from doing so. 'What am I doing here?' I asked myself, coming out of the emotional daze I had entered into. Was I actually ready to meet Ashton? Did I actually want to add some more emotional baggage to my mind?

What if he chooses to put a closure on our relationship and not in a good way? I knew that he didn't love me, but was I ready to hear him say it in my face? The news that I would be going away for a year didn't bother him, so how could I even think that going away for a few days to meet my parents would matter him? It wouldn't.

Running my hand over my tied up hair, I cursed myself for being so stupid. Ashton had been always right. I really was an idiot.

Without ringing the bell, I stepped back from the door, shaking my head. Ashton could wait. It was better to just drop a message, telling him that Dad was unwell and that I had to go. I cursed myself for being an idiot and thinking that Ashton might worry if he didn't hear from me tomorrow. He was obviously busy. He wouldn't even notice that I wasn't here.

A sigh in self pity escaped my lips and just as I was about to turn around to go back, I heard his voice from behind me, "Liana?"

An inaudible gasp escaped my lips. So much for not meeting him! I turned around to face him and immediately spotted relief on his handsome face. He had just stepped out of the elevator, which made me look towards the door and curse myself, once again, for not noticing the lock on the door.

"I just went to your home and couldn't find you. Your door was locked. Your neighbors didn't know where you were. My phone's battery died and I couldn't contact you. So I came back here. Thank God, you are here. It's almost midnight, Liana. You had me f*cking worried," he rambled as he took steps towards me. I noticed that he was still in the same clothes that he was wearing yesterday, telling that he really had been busy with some issues. The bags under his eyes made me wonder if he had even slept properly the night before. The worry lines were clear on his face and I wanted to touch his forehead, tracing lines to his cheek till his jaw, to soothe him in any way that I could. He looked like he needed it.

"You have been crying," he stated with a worried frown.

"Hi," I greeted instead with a little forced smile.

"What's wrong, Liana?" he asked, coming straight to the point that mattered to him.

So, I answered him straight to the point, "My Dad had a heart attack. He is in hospital."

His eyes widened as he heard me and noticed the fresh tears that had slipped from the corner of my eyes. "Holy sh*t!"

"So I'm leaving and going to meet my parents. I know he'll be fine. He is a strong man, you know. He has always been strong. So... yeah... I should leave. I just came here to tell you that I couldn't wait any longer," I ended in a whisper as I stared at him with tears in my eyes.

He opened and closed his mouth to say something, and I was eager to hear him say something, anything. At the end, he said, "I'm coming with you."

My heart fluttered at his order. I wanted to hug him for suggesting this despite of the state he himself was in. But all I could do was smile and tell him, "No, Ashton. You need rest."

He protested. "Have you looked at the time? It's midnight. You're not going alone." He looked at me as if I was crazy.

I shook my head, which made him open his mouth to protest again, but I told him, "I want to be with them alone for some time. Please."

Maybe he noticed the determined look on my face, which made him nod his head slightly, though he didn't look convinced. How could I ask him to come with me? He clearly had some issues going on about his exhibition, which hadn't let him sleep. He looked worn out and exhausted. "Do call once you reach there." He ordered in a strict tone, and I smiled despite of the tormenting emotions in my heart.

I nodded in reply and stepped past him towards the elevator. I faced him after stepping inside the elevator and pressed the button to go to the ground floor. We stared at each other as the doors of the elevator slowly yet so quickly closed, making me look at him with a bundle of emotions in my eyes. A ragged breath escaped my lips the moment the doors closed and the lift started moving. I leant against one of the walls and closed my eyes in utter distress.

In a matter of few seconds, my mind wandered to everything that Ashton had gone through in these years; everything that had happened between us in these few days; and everything that had happened on that night four months back. My heart fluttered at how he was ready to come with me despite of his exhausted state. My eyes watered at how he had cared for me in his own unique ways in these past few days, and how pathetically I had managed to fall for him. My heart felt heavy as my emotions wandered aimlessly between the two men I loved dearly, and how easily I could lose both of them without any prior warning. I forgot everything about his indifference, about his rude attitude, and his terrible mood swings.

All that mattered was his concern, his care, his attempts at making me blush, the ways in which he protected me without me being aware of it, and the love I had for him.

The sudden halt of the elevator brought me back to the present and with dazed eyes, I looked towards the exit, pointing out that I had reached my destination, telling me that I should be getting down now, and sit in that cab that had been waiting for me. And I wanted to do all of that. I was going to do all of that. But, there was one very important matter that was yet to be handled. The last day of the project had started and I had to give him the definition of the day.

The last definition; the definition that could make him believe in love.

And to handle that important matter, I pressed the button of Ashton's floor and waited for the elevator to reach its new destination. I stepped out once I was there and took quick, determined steps towards his door. This time, without giving much thought to my actions, I rang the bell and waited for him to open the door. To my surprise and contrary to his usual actions, he opened the door in a matter of seconds.

His worn out state and surprised look reminded me of the first day of the project, when I was standing at this exact spot; the moment when he had shut the door on my face. I remembered how speechless, flabbergasted, confused, distressed, sad, and negative I had been that day.

But, not today. This time I was determined. This time I didn't give him time to say anything. I had some things to say and very little time.

So, I started, "Do you have any idea how much I hated love when I started this assignment? Probably you do. After all it was you who made me hate it. You taught me that it was bullsh!t. And I believed you. I totally did. But then slowly, I realized why I used to believe in love initially and why it was the most important thing in my life. It's funny how love embarrasses us, annoys us, seems stupid and unbearable, how it tests your patience because the person you love is not perfect, just like you are not perfect. But still, it manages to make you smile despite how painful it actually is. It makes you feel wonderful because no matter how weird, how imperfect, how crazy you are, you are accepted as it is by the other person. It's sad how it enters your life when it's most unexpected without even a knock, so you could be prepared for it and how it makes your entire world crash down without any warning."

"It is not about doing overly romantic things, it's not about screaming from a rooftop how much you love this or that person, or posting those romantic and cheesy stuff about your love on social forums, or getting those couple tattoos, or all that cheesy stuff. It's about letting the person be himself; being with them when they need you and sticking with them when they don't need you, because in reality, they actually need you."

He kept staring at me with so much in his eyes that I refused to try to read his beautiful eyes for once and focus on what I was here to say. "I'm not making any sense, am I?" I asked as I shook my head with a little smile on my lips and tears in my eyes. I didn't let him answer and continued, "Love was when you kissed me in Seth's wedding so that I won't have to face my father's ex lover. It's when you pretended that you didn't know Nolan just to save me from embarrassment. It's when you get my laptop fixed without telling me. It's when you make totally inappropriate comments at me and still manage to make me blush. It's when you manage to make me calm and hopeful just from a simple look in your eyes from across a room. It's when no matter how crowded a room is I always manage to find you in that crowd only to shy away when you look back at me. It's when you don't let me drink because you know that I can't handle it. Love is staring in your eyes and trying to read them. It's when you flick my forehead at the most unexpected times and make me blush. It's when you tell me honestly that I look like a zombie or that I'm an idiot. It's when you kiss me as if it's something that's a part of your normal routine, when in reality, it leaves me feeling like the most special girl in the entire world. It's the fireworks."

"It's not even important that the person you love would actually love you back, or that you would actually end up with that person. Maybe it'll always stay unrequited and you would eventually settle for an emotion less passionate than love. But still, it's the only truth that I truly know. And no matter how much you disagree with me about all of this, this time, you can't change my opinion about love. Do you know why, Ashton?" I asked in a whisper, taking a deep breath at the end of everything I wanted to tell him.

He seemed at a loss of words for a few seconds, but he managed to whisper back, "Why, Liana?"

I smiled at how soulful my name sounded from his mouth. I would definitely miss his voice. I took a step towards him, stopping when there was just an inch of distance between us. Without any reluctance, I raised my right hand to caress his forehead, clearing it off the worry lines, I traced his cheek and then his jaw, all the while staring at his perfect face; taking in every feature as if it was the last time I was seeing him. And maybe it was...

I held his gaze as he stared at me with his grey eyes; eyes that I was probably looking at for the last time...

Standing on my tip toes, I placed a kiss on his lips; lips that I had kissed many times in the last few days, but this kiss was different. Probably because it was the last kiss... a goodbye kiss.

The moment his lips touched mine, a tear or two rolled down from my eyes. I pulled away before he could respond or before I could get lost in the overwhelming emotions.

I smiled a little and answered him in a mere whisper, "Because love is... you."

Ignoring his stunned expressions, I said, "Goodbye, Ashton." With that, I turned around and ran down the stairs as fast as I could without waiting for him to react. I didn't hear him call my name, didn't hear him run after me, and didn't see him running after me when I sat back in the cab. Because he did none of this. Not bothering to the driver's complaints about taking too long, I threw my head back and sighed in contentment. Despite of the tears in my eyes, I smiled a little.

It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I felt lighter. I felt less messed up than before. I was happy to tell him that it was him, who had managed to steal my heart and made me fall hard. So what if he didn't believe in love, maybe my love was meant to stay incomplete. But I had done what was important. He deserved to know that I loved him. He deserved to know that he was loved, and not abandoned.

*****

A/N

I know it's short. But it's exactly what I wanted it to be, and exactly how I wanted it to end. How was it? Like it? Love it? Hate it?

I sooo badly wanted to write this chapter ever since the beginning of this story. Damn! I had goose bumps when she says, 'Because love is... you." That's deep shit! Lol. I love Liana for taking charge of things & deciding her fate, for facing her fears and her feelings. She is one strong woman, no matter how dumb and stupid she might appear at times. She has her moments. XD

One more chapter & then you'll get 1-2 epilogues, one of which would probably be the article that she writes. Not sure about it. Depends on my mood and how much I'm able to write about that, very honestly!

See you all later.

Thanks!

Love,

Raima

I have decided that I will tell you guys my real name the day Ashton's best friend will disclose his real name!!!! Promise it'll be soon! XD