CHAPTER - 23

LOVE IS... TRUST

'Love is weakest when there is more doubt than trust but love is strongest when we learn to trust despite of the doubts.'

"Is it the time that's responsible or have you always been like this?"

I raised my eyebrows at Ashton's random question, and asked, "Like what?"

His lips rose up in his typical smirk and he said, "Idiot." I rolled my eyes at him while he continued, "Uptight." I narrowed my eyes at him and he further continued, "Prude." Finally, I was shooting daggers at him.

I didn't bother replying to him. I mean, seriously, what was the use of that? Glancing at the snail's pace traffic in front, I let out a groan in frustration. "It has been more than half an hour, for God's sake. How much did we move? Hundred meters? Five hundred meters?"

He let out a deep chuckle as I not so swiftly dodged his question. "A good two - three miles," he answered. My shoulders slumped down in frustration and defeat. There was no way that I could join Mike and Ivy for dinner tonight.

"I'm so, so late," I complained as I glanced at the digital clock in his car which showed that it was forty minutes past five. Considering the speed at which this stupid traffic was moving, there was no way that I could reach Mike's place till ten at night. "This was supposed to be a short cut? You're a fool," I accused him as the irritation of being stuck in bad traffic got to me.

Surprisingly, he found my annoyance amusing as he chuckled and rested his head on the window pane by his side, looking straight at me. "Maybe I forgot about a little fact that this short cut is usually packed in the evenings," he offered, earning a death glare from me.

"You're such a jerk," I grumbled, picking up the tissue box and throwing it at him. He laughed in return, enjoying the entire ordeal way too much. I couldn't digest the fact that someone as short tempered as Ashton was all calm and composed about such a terrible traffic. But then I realized that he was getting so much rest because of this traffic, and of course, his lethargic self loved this. That was the reason of the stupid smirk on his face. "Annoying jerk," I added under my breath.

"You can get out of the car anytime and walk your way to the city if you're getting so late for your date," he mumbled, closing his eyes.

"What date?" I asked in an instant.

Apparently, everyone since Seth's wedding was talking about 'someone' being my date. And sadly, I had no idea who this 'someone' was as there was no date at all.

He opened his eyes only to roll them at me and said slowly as if talking to a five year old, "That dancing thing from your cousin's wedding; the guy who was your date on that wonderful, heartwarming occasion. Remember him?" A light chuckle escaped my lips at the sarcasm he used while saying the words 'wonderful, heartwarming occasion', but that chuckle was cut off when I realized that he was calling Mike as my date.

"Mike?" I confirmed, looking at him with wide eyes.

He snickered. "So that thing has a name?"

A little smile made its way on my lips when I realized that maybe, just maybe Ashton was jealous. A little ray of hope that maybe Ashton liked me even tad bit and that would make him kiss me again. I was becoming a pervert myself. Thanks to Ashton and his kiss. "Are you jealous?" I asked away, looking at him with playful eyes, even though my insides were anything but playful.

He mumbled in a teasing manner, "Jealous of the fact that he has a name?" I rolled my eyes him, while he continued a bit seriously, "Do you want me to be jealous?"

"In your dreams." I snorted, looking away from him despite of the fact that my cheeks started turning red. Oh, how I wished he would be jealous. I took a deep breath and once my rushing blood was in control, I looked at him again and said, "Of course, he has a name."

He faked a yawn and mumbled, "Do I look like I'm even remotely interested-"

I cut him off by continuing, "So does his girlfriend - Ivy."

That put a full stop to his overacting as he froze for a split second but, then mumbled again, "Seriously, not interested."

"Good," I mumbled back, still looking at him, observing him. "Is it the time that's responsible or have you always been like this?" I threw his question back at him.

He raised his eyebrows at me with a slight smirk on his face. "Like what?"

"A player, huge pervert and an annoying jerk?"

He grinned slightly at me and replied, "God gifted traits."

A hearty chuckle escaped my lips and I shook my head at him. The traffic moved slightly and Ashton started the engine just like everyone around. But within ten meters we stopped again. One thing I was sure about was the fact that we were stuck for hours. And surprisingly, Ashton didn't look bothered by that fact. The entire situation was in my favor. I could finally ask him every question that I had wanted to ask and the best part was that he had nowhere to run to. Before I could back out from showcasing my curiosity out in the open, I asked him, "Why don't you talk to Priscilla?"

I watched as he froze for a second and slowly, turned his face to look at me with his tightly clenched jaw and narrowed eyes. I raised my eyebrows, indicating him to answer me, but in return he asked back, "How do you know that?"

Under his intense eyes, I shrugged uneasily and said in an even tone, "I have my sources." For the next few minutes, he kept looking at me with narrowed eyes while I waited for him to reply. When my wait proved to be futile, as expected, I shot another question at him, "Why did you get mad at Dylan yesterday?"

Again, he shot daggers at me, which infuriated me to no ends. "That does not concern you," he answered bluntly and started honking for the first time since we had been stuck in the terrible traffic. "Move, you f*ckers!" he cursed under his breath.

"This is so unfair, Ashton," I said with gritted teeth.

"So is life, Liana," he answered back with clenched jaw.

I rolled my eyes at him in annoyance and told him, "Oh just stop saying such crappy dialogues whenever I start asking something from you." He raised his eyebrows at me in surprise but I didn't let his surprise or his piercing grey eyes affect me. I continued, "Neither did Nolan nor my past affair was of any concern to you. But you asked me and I told you everything. Didn't I?" I didn't wait for him to answer and continued again, "I trusted you with something I had never told anyone about. I trusted you, Mr. Ashton Parker. And now when I want to know your secrets, you tell me that they do not concern me?" I looked at him in disbelief along with ridiculousness.

I had no idea from where my frustrations were coming from. Maybe they were because of the curiosity that had reached its peak in last two-three days. Maybe I was frustrated because of the fact that even Savannah could tell that he was a bundle of mysteries and I didn't know any of it. Maybe it was because of the simple truth that I had trusted him enough to show him my tears and my fears; but he didn't trust me at all. Or maybe it was all because of the bitter reality of my feelings towards him - my so one sided feelings.

Asking questions from myself over and over again had taken a toll on me. I couldn't understand anything. Instead of trying to solve mysteries, I wanted the mystery himself to tell me everything in plain simple words. No complications! No confusions!

I watched as he clenched and unclenched his jaw several times. I took deep breaths as I stared back in his eyes with equally blazing anger. 'I am not backing off this time,' I told myself, even though the stupid, crazy girl in me was screaming curses at me and threatening to burn me alive for being so inconsiderate towards her crush. Before that voice could do any harm, I buried it deep inside me.

"I am a f*cking mess, Liana. My relations are a mess. You don't want to get involved in my sh*t. You should know that I don't care about anything at all and I don't care about your f*cking sob story." I stared wide eyed at him as he said such bitter words. "You were fool enough to trust me, Liana. But, I am not. Stay the hell away from me." His sharp words cut a deep wound in my heart and immediately, I regretted asking these questions from him. I regretted because now, I had nowhere to run to and calm myself. I snapped my head away from him to look out of the window and tried to blink away the tears that were blurring out my vision.

On one hand there was Nolan, who had cheated on me. He broke my trust, but I never broke his. He knew that breaking trusts was something I could never do. On the other hand, there was Ashton who couldn't even begin to trust me. Wasn't trust the foundation of any relationship? But then again, what sort of relationship did Ashton and I had?

The relationship of an unsuitable, inappropriate matchmaker and an unwilling candidate; a completely professional relationship.

Of course, he didn't trust me.

Of course, he was right in saying that I was nothing but a fool to trust him so soon; to like him so soon.

"I get you," I replied with a humorless chuckle. Filled with hurt and anger, I tried to open my door but Ashton was faster than me as he locked the car. It happened for a while. Every time I flicked the pin and tried to open the door, he used centralized locking system and locked the door. I punched the door and instantly flinched at the pain in my knuckles. "Just let me go!" I cried in complete frustration, finally.

He grabbed my hands with his hands and made me look at him. I struggled to free my hands from his tight grip. My breaths came out faster as my feelings took a toll on my actions. My vision again blurred as fresh tears threatened to spill out of my eyes and I mumbled curses at myself, "I'm such a fool. Fool... that's what I am."

"No, you're not," Ashton said in a firm voice as he slowly rubbed my knuckles in soothing motion. The anger, the frustration that he had showed a few moments ago were replaced by a rare emotion in his eyes. They were warm, filled with guilt. Before I could read his eyes any further tears again filled up in my eyes. Ashton brought his hand to my face and wiped the tears away. "I'm sorry. I'm such an a*shole," he mumbled as he cupped my cheek with his warm hand.

His apologies made me freeze as I stared in his concerned eyes; his warm grey eyes that were looking back at me with care and guilt. Wasn't he supposed to not care? He was not supposed to stop me from going away. Wasn't he supposed to be cold and rude? He was not supposed to wipe my tears away. Wasn't he supposed to be an arrogant jerk? He was not supposed to apologize to me for his hurtful words.

But here he was doing everything that he was not supposed to do. Here he was showing that everything that he claimed himself to be was nothing but pretence.

I kept staring in his eyes with so many questions and confusion. And after everything that just happened, I didn't know if I should even voice out my curiosity. The results were not appreciable. As if sensing my unstable heart and mind, he took a deep breath and said, "This is not easy for me, Liana." He closed his eyes tightly and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Give me some time. But just don't go."

I bit my lip at his request as my heart filled up again. 'Why are you so confusing, Ashton? When will you stop playing with my mind and heart?' I wanted to ask but refrained myself when I realized that I already had too many questions to ask from him and I couldn't afford to add any more.

"Okay," I mumbled.

His eyes flew open and he asked in surprise, "What?"

"Okay." I repeated myself.

His lips slowly curved up in a smile and we stared at each other for the next few moments. A sudden blaring of horn, made us look away from each other. Ashton released my hands and instantly, I felt cold. It was not my fault that his hands were so warm. He drove further for the next few meters and halted again.

He sighed and we let the now comfortable silence take us over. The questions could wait. I could wait for the right time to come because no matter how messed up he was, I trusted him.

"Okay. Ask me one question. But not something personal," he said with a slight smirk after a while.

A light chuckle escaped my lips and I asked, "Something personal like your monthly cycle date?"

He chuckled and shook his head at me. "No. Personal as in my size as you'll be dreaming about it all night long."

My cheeks turned a bright red at his words and I hissed, "Shut up!"

He laughed but I made him shut up with my next question. "On Sunday, you told me that you were resting at your place-"

He cut me off, "I lied to you."

"Huh?" My eyes widened when he answered even before completion of my question.

He smiled a little while nodding his head and answered, "You weren't hallucinating when you saw me in that café with my friends."

"Oh." I bit my lip briefly and asked again, "Why?"

He shook his head and told me, "Just one question was allowed." I pouted at his reply while he chuckled. "Let the right time come. My turn to ask questions," he declared.

"Huh? There is nothing you'd like to know about me. " I chuckled, shaking my head at him.

"Oh, trust me there is something," he replied with a smirk. My chuckles were cut short when he opened his mouth to ask the next question. "Are you a virgin?

"What?" My cheeks turned red at the absurdity of his question and I stammered, "Th-that does not concern you."

"Touche. That hurt." He placed his hand over his heart and pretended to be hurt. I rolled my eyes at him and he asked again, "What all positions have you tried? Which one is your favorite?"

"For God's sake, Ashton, shut up!" I told him, covering my heating face with my palms.

I heard him laughing. "Why? Do I turn you on?" His teasing tone couldn't be misjudged. 

With my face still hidden behind my palms, I answered him sarcastically, "Oh, you have no idea." It's a different matter that there was nothing sarcastic about it, nothing at all.

************

Day - 10

The next day I had an off which meant that I wasn't going to see Ashton before six in the evening when we would have to go Priscilla's birthday party. I was excited about that. The first thing I did when I woke up, even before leaving my bed was have a much needed peppy talk with Stephanie. She made me realize that going with Ashton to his parents' place was a big thing. During the fifteen minutes long phone call, she didn't stop teasing me about Ashton and I didn't stop thanking God that she wasn't here in front of me to witness my reddening cheeks. That would have surely changed her suspicions of my crush towards Ashton into true claims.

I was happy. I was literally smiling from ear to ear and the reason of my happiness was Ashton. Seeing Ashton care for me, wiping my tears and holding my hand, soothing the pain in my knuckles made me feel ecstatic. Witnessing his care in the little words that he said and his eyes was delightful, and this just made me fall for him a little more. I knew that Ashton wasn't someone who goes around telling his past. It was obvious with his cold attitude.

"I'm sorry."

"Give me some time. But just don't go."

His words echoed in my mind and for some reason, I was overjoyed with the fact that he had said these things to me. This was a start.

Smiling, I hopped out of my bed and looked at myself in the mirror. The pointedly staring pimple, right between my eyebrows, made my huge smile vanish in a second. "No!" I cried in disbelief and disappointment. My skin had a terrible habit of making a pimple pop out on my face whenever I had to go somewhere important. "Not today. At least not today," I mumbled in helplessness. I stared right back at it through the mirror and imagined some laser lights coming out of my eyes and making it disappear., but, sadly, all that was exactly what I just said - imagination.

It's safe to say that I spent better half of the day watching 'How to get rid of pimples fast' on YouTube. None of the videos seemed to help. Distracting my thoughts from the irritating pimple, I decided to go the nearby mall and buy something for Priscilla, even though I had no idea what she would like. So, I called Ashton, "What does Priscilla like?" I asked, the moment he answered his phone.

He snickered. "Seeing me pissed off."

"Ashton!" I warned.

He chuckled and said, "Don't buy anything. You're going with me. I already have a gift covered for her."

"I can't go empty handed," I defended.

"Then don't go empty handed. Hold the gift I'm bringing. I really don't mind going empty handed."

"Ashton, I'm serious." I huffed.

"So am I, Liana. Just get ready. I'll be there at six." With that he cancelled the phone and I grimaced. I decided to buy some flowers for her on the way to the venue. I knew that she loved lilies.

After putting a lot of thought in my dress, I settled with what I had initially thought of wearing - a little black dress with lace covering my full arms, shoulders and stomach. Stephanie had gifted it to me two months back for no occasion. But I knew it was her attempt to cheer me up after my break up with Nolan. I never wore it. Well, I never got a chance to wear it until now. It was a bit revealing but I looked hot in it. So, I wasn't complaining.

I almost succeeded in hiding my terrible pimple with the help of compact. I left my wavy hair loose but after taming them a little with a curling rod. I didn't want to overdo anything and that's why I declined Stephanie's offer of dolling me up. I was thankful that she was busy with a new article and couldn't leave office before submitting it by tonight.

At exactly six, the buzzer went off. My eyes widened a bit as I didn't really expect Ashton to be on time. I mean, c'mon, it was Ashton! Glancing at myself one last time, I picked up my phone and went towards the door.

"Hello," I chirped.

"Well, don't you sound happy? I'm waiting downstairs," he replied, making me frown.

"Give me a minute. I just need to lock the door."

"Okay," he said and I picked up the keys to lock my apartment. The moment I turned around and started walking down the stairs, my nervousness got the best of me. 'Does this count as a date?' What sort of matchmaker am I? Going on a date myself rather than fixing him up with other candidates? A pathetic one.' I wondered as I took slow steps. The black heels were not helping at all. 'Am I even looking okay? I am not overdressed, am I?' All sorts of questions clouded my mind as I stepped down the last stairs. I pushed open the doors of the building to step outside and cold wind greeted me.

Shivering slightly, I smiled and looked around to see Ashton. But the person I saw wiped away my smile and made my eyes widen in complete shock. I couldn't believe my eyes as I stared at him while he leaned against his car dressed in a black tux, looking at me with a slight smirk on his now clean shaven face. My mouth opened and closed like a fish as I searched for words to say, but nothing came to my lips. I took slow steps towards him as I stared in his extremely familiar eyes. I was not dumbfounded by his gorgeous, mouth watering looks. I wasn't speechless due to how perfect he looked. I was stunned by him.

He straightened when I reached