45| Hope is eternal

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There's a second where no ones speaks. My heart thumps wildly, certain the hope that I've allowed myself to feel is suddenly going to be shattered.

Jordan lowers his head a little, uncertainty settling on his face. The future of The Big Fish cafe now rests on his shoulders; I can't imagine how that feels. He runs a hand across his jaw, and it pains me to see him like this. Owing anyone is the last thing he wants, but so is selling this cafe.

"Whatever you decide, I'm here," I say. "I promise."

"And make no mistake," Kali says, "getting this place profitable isn't going to be easy. You've got a hard road ahead."

Finally, Jordan looks at me. The second our eyes meet, his brighten a little, carefully searching my face. It's hard to tell what he's thinking right now, or feeling, but something inside him seems to switch. He turns to Landon with quiet resolve. "You can go," he says. "I've decided I'm not selling."

It takes a few moments for his words to sink in. My skin tingles, each nerve in my body bursting with hope. This is it, it's really happening: the cafe is staying.

Jordan is staying.

The look on Landon's face is priceless. He takes a step forward, looking as though he's about to punch Jordan, but Kali grabs his arm and steers him toward the street. "Your car is that way, buddy."

"I'm not your buddy," Landon says, shrugging Kali off, "and you better believe that the second I get the opportunity, I'm tearing this place down."

"Oh please," Kali says. "You sound like a Scooby-Doo villain. Just get outta here."

Landon opens his mouth to speak, but he takes one look at Kali's expression and thinks better of it. Huffing, he turns around and storms toward his car while Kali takes Jordan's arm.

"Well, don't just stand there," he says. "Get helping."

I smile and say, "Sir, yes sir."

We spend the rest of the day carrying materials off of trucks. A line of equipment surrounds the front entrance, and it's hard to believe that one day soon, this crumbled building will be a cafe. Not just a cafe, but Jordan's home.

I stop for a second to look for him. He's chatting away to Mr. Roberts, so I put down my plank, about to head over when I pause. Despite hardly knowing one another, the pair look as though they have know each other years, and when Mr. Roberts pulls Jordan in for a hug, there is affection in his eyes, like he's looking at a son.

"He used to have a son, you know."

I don't need to turn to see who's standing behind me – I'd recognize that voice anywhere. "Used to?"

"Yeah," Ryan says. "Heard he died in combat years ago. He's had a hard life, that old man, but you wouldn't know it to talk to him."

My eyes soften. I turn to Ryan, expecting to feel the tiniest flip, but still there is nothing. I'd always wondered how people could fall out of love, but I guess that you can. Either that, or I never really loved him to begin with.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"I heard the good news and came to help," he says. "I know how much this place meant to you."

I hesitate. "Thank you."

He nods and shoves his hands in his pockets. "So, you all set for college? Wait–" He smiles and adds, "Are you even still going?"

I expect to deflate at hearing the C word, but I don't. After all of the changes that have happened this summer, college doesn't seem so scary. Knowing I'll be less than an hour's drive from Jordan is easier to deal with than a three hour flight.

"Surprisingly, yes."

"That is surprising. You always told me you were terrified." 

"I know," I say, "but I think I was more afraid of change than college."

"And you're not now?" he asks.

I glance at Jordan, watching as he scans the street for someone in particular. His eyes find mine, and the moment they do, it feels like I can finally breathe.

"Hold that thought," I say, "I'll be right back."

Without waiting for an answer, I cross the street to Jordan. He grins when he sees me, grabbing my waist before pulling me into his chest. "Just to confirm," I say, "you're really staying?" Maybe it's silly, but a part of me still can't believe it, like maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and realize none of this was real.

He grins and lowers his mouth near mine. "I'm really staying."

"You can't change your mind now. You know that, right?"

"I wouldn't dream of it." He pulls back a little, tucking my hair behind my ear. "I still have to fly home and get everything sorted, not to mention convince my mom, but I should be back in a few weeks. Just in time for you to start college."

I nod but can't quite bring myself to smile.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

"Nothing," I say. "It just–" I bite my lip, torn between wanting to be selfish and wanting what's best for him. "You'd be giving up a lot to move here. Your home, your friends. I can't let you move here just for me. What if you end up regretting it?" I hold my breath in the silence that follows. As desperate as I am for him to move here, I don't think he's thought it through.

The corner of his mouth tilts upward as he pulls me in again. "Believe it or not, the world doesn't revolve around you, Evvy."

I laugh and swat his arm, recalling one of our many arguments. Do you think the world revolves around you, Evvy? Because if so, I have news for you.

"The truth is," he says, "I like it here. Minus the thunderstorms. I still don't know how I'm going to deal with those."

"Luckily for you, hurricane season will be over soon. Do you think your mom will agree to this, though?"

"Yeah, I do," he says. "She always used to talk about how much she'd love to move back here. I think getting out of the city will be good for her. " 

Dread slowly morphs into relief. I'd been reluctant to believe it, to think for a second this could possibly be real, but it is. Even the pessimist in me can't deny it.

"So, can I show you the list?" I ask.

His eyebrows furrow. "List?"

"Yeah." I eagerly reach into my bag and pull out my notebook, where I'd first written down the cafe's to do list. Jordan watches in fascination as I flip to the back.

"You've just been carrying that around wherever you go?" he asks.

"I always kind of hoped you'd change your mind," I say, "so I wanted to be prepared."

He laughs and takes the book from my hands, skimming the list. "Specialize in seafood, change the decor, fix the holes." He looks up now, wearing a lopsided grin. "Sounds doable."

"I'm thinking blue for the walls," I say. "A pale kind of eggshell blue. Or maybe green or–"

"Evvy." He grabs my hand, pulling me into his arms. "You don't need to figure it all out now. I'm not going anywhere – neither is the cafe."

Deep down, that's what I'm worried about, I realize. That all of this will slip away as quickly as it had happened. "Promise?"

He leans in closer, kissing me softly. "I promise."

And I believe him.

A/N

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