40| Fear of the unknown

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The water feels calming, and it's not long before the fire in my chest turns back to a light simmer. I break the surface, tilting my head until I'm looking at the clouds as they blur across the sky. There's a sense of freedom that comes with being surrounded by nature, an ease that cancels out all else. I could feel completely disconnected from everyone and everything, and this part of Mom's beach will always bring me back.

Thin white fish swirl about on the seabed, tickling my feet. When my skin begins to shrivel, I sigh and swim back to the shore, where I stand on the sand for a minute or two, contemplating my next step.  As much as I want to see Jordan right now, it's clear he needs to be alone, so I grab my bike and head to Lina's, instead.

The grove leading to her house is in disarray. Fallen branches block the path, and I have to jump over several broken lawn chairs in order to get to her front door. Before I can knock, the door is thrown open and she's standing under the archway, her dark hair pulled up into a messy bun and her glasses on, which she almost never wears in public.

"Can you believe those idiots?" she asks, nodding at her neighbor's house. "Didn't think to put the chairs away in a middle of a hurricane? What are they, freshwater?"

I smile as she steps aside to let me in. "How did you know I was here?"

"I saw you walk up. Your house hold up okay?"

"Yeah, but the streets are a mess." I don't tell her about the cafe yet, I just say hello to her parents and then follow Lina up to her bedroom, where she closes the door behind us. Just like at the beach, being here brings a sense of familiarity, like everything will be all right now that I'm here in this house, just like old times.

Her bedroom is typical Lina. Bright yellow walls, dark wooden floors, billowy white curtains. Covering the walls are the thousands of pictures we've taken over the years, and I walk toward them, brushing my thumb across one of us at Mom's beach.

It was before Mom died, and Lina was in her awkward stage, tall and gangly, towering over me like a giant. Behind us, the sun is this unusual burnt color that reflected off the water, turning the water a strange bluish pink.

Mom had been laying in the sand, watching us play, but had jumped to her feet when she'd seen this and hurried to grab her camera. I never understood that about her, the need to capture every perfect moment. I'd think to myself, but that's what memories are for. Only now do I realize that memories fade, but pictures last a lifetime.

"Hey," Lina says softly, coming up behind me. "You okay? You're way too quiet for my liking. Something's wrong."

Turning, I cross the room to her bed, where I lie down and look at the ceiling. "You know me too well."

"Of course I do," she says, lying down next to me. "So spill."

With a deep breath, I tell her about my night with Jordan and how things between us have...escalated. She gasps and turns to face me properly, her eyes wide with excitement.

"Oh my god, I can't believe it. Are you guys together now?" She lifts her hand like she's reading a headline and says, "Evvy and Jordan, island enemies to star-cross lovers. So romantic."

I grab her hand and pull it back down. "It's not official or anything," I say. "I mean, who knows what will happen when he goes back to Chicago." But even as I say it, I can't keep the smile off my face.

Lina smiles too. "What was it you said to me at your leaving party? Jordan and I are never going to have sex or something to that effect."

"Don't quote me. I hate when you quote me."

"It was just a heat of the moment, mid-thunderstorm mistake."

"I'm going to kill you."

I swat her arm, and she laughs and tries to duck but ends up hitting her wrist off the bedside table. "Ow."

"Serves you right. Anyway, that's not even what I came here to tell you." My expression darkens, and her own smile falls when she notices my change of tone.

"Then what did you want to tell me?" she asks.

Eyes closed, I try to keep my voice steady. "The hurricane destroyed the cafe."

"Destroyed as in..."

"As in it's impossible to open up again without being fixed up." I open my eyes to meet hers, which are wide with shock.

"Surely it's fixable," she says, and I don't blame her for being optimistic. Even though the cafe has always been in pretty bad shape, it's always somehow managed to pull through.

"The roof caved in," I say. "The windows, there's damp, the booths are destroyed...We're not just talking about fixing up a couple of things, we're talking huge structural changes. It's over, Lina. It's really over."

She pulls me into her arms and hugs me, resting her cheek on my shoulder. "I can't believe it. We did everything to protect it from the storm."

"With what we had," I say, "but the cafe has needed a new roof and windows for ages. It was only a matter of time before they gave out."

"What about Jordan?" she asks. "What is he going to do now?"

My chest suddenly tightens. The truth is I've been asking myself that question all day. "I haven't talked to him. He kind of took off, and now I don't know where he is."

"He probably just needed a minute to be alone," she says softly. "It must be hard to hear the cafe he spent ages finding a buyer for is suddenly gone." She pulls back a little, eyebrows furrowed, and adds, "Why can't he just use the money we raised to fix it up? That's what it was for."

"That was when the cafe only had a few problems," I say. "It wouldn't be enough for all of the work it needs. He's heading home next week, he'd be better off taking the cash and just giving it to his mom, which he also doesn't want to do because that's not what the money was for. The only option for the cafe is to sell it to someone who will buy it in its current state, and the only people who'd do that is–"

"Landon and the piranhas," Lina says.

"Exactly. I think Jordan might just be desperate enough to do it, too, even though I know he doesn't want to."

Her embrace tightens, and the pair of us fall quiet. Finally, she says, "God, this island will really start to change if he does that."

"I know, but I'm starting to think that losing the cafe is inevitable. Every time I try to save it, something goes wrong. Maybe it's time to accept that it's gone and the island is going to change."

"Would you forgive him?" she asks ."If he sold it to Landon's company? I mean, do you think your relationship could withstand that? Selling to a couple wanting to open up an ice cream shop or whatever is different to Landon knocking it down and trying to monopolize the beachfront."

I don't say anything, so instead, we just lie here in silence, her arms around me, shielding me from reality. The truth is, I don't know the answer to her question, and that's what scares me the most.

A/N

Hey guys, hope you enjoyed! ❤️

What do you think Evvy and Jordan should do??

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