As soon as I get home, I dump my box of things on the floor and look around the apartment. It used to be that I'd walk in and freeze, hit with an overwhelming sense of sadness and loneliness, but now when I walk in, I'm okay with the silence that answers me back; I'm okay with being alone.

Across the room, Mulan pulls herself from her slumber and totters toward me. Still groggy with sleep, she stumbles slightly as she gets to my leg and gives it a reassuring nudge. "I know what you're thinking," I say, reaching down, and I place the box on the floor. "You're wondering what I'm doing home at this time." I give her ear an affectionate rub and rest on my knees. "I don't know how you'll feel about this, but I quit my job today." I pause, watching how she stares at me with those curious amber eyes. "I know, I know. It was pretty rash, but it will benefit us in the long run."

It's hard to tell which of us I'm trying to convince, but it doesn't matter. Mulan lifts herself onto my lap and buries her nose in my stomach. I can't help it; I look at her, at how unconditionally loyal she is, and the events of today pile on top of me. I start to cry, quietly, at first, before evolving to shoulder-shaking sobs.

I've needed this, a moment where I could finally break down and let it all out. I used to think strength meant always being stable or having my shit together, but I was wrong. Strength means allowing yourself the space to feel and, in turn, to heal.

When I've let it all out, I rise to my feet and spend the next few hours cleaning my apartment. I'm ruthless in my approach, throwing out everything I no longer need, including any last remnant of Luke. When I'm finished, I slump onto the bed with my phone outstretched and open my last conversation with Milo.

As hard as it is not to message him right now, it would only complicate things. See, there's this voice in my head, and it's only grown louder since leaving Laurelle's office. You're unemployed now and scared about the future. Are you calling Milo because you want him or because you want the familiarity? I'm almost certain it's the former, but if I want a real chance at figuring things out, I have to give myself a little bit of time. Not just time, but a fresh start. 

My first call of action is to message Jess and demand she come over. Then I grab my laptop, check how much money I've got in my savings – enough for now – and book myself a last-minute flight to LA. The moment it goes through, I sit back on my heels, surprised by my own impulsiveness, and then race to pull my suitcase from the closet.

I'm halfway through packing when the door buzzes. I let Jess come up, who barges through into my apartment like a woman on a mission and turns on her heel. "What's going on?" she asks. "You send me a cryptic message asking me to look after Mulan for a few days and don't think to tell me why. You haven't done something stupid, are you?"

I'm not surprised she hasn't heard about my walkout. Everything that happens on seven is treated as top secret. "Maybe – I quit today."

"You quit?" Her eyes grow bulgy in that way that I've missed. Before I can explain, she pulls me to the sofa, makes me sit down, and heads into the kitchen to make us some hot cocoa. She returns several minutes later with two steaming cups and positions herself next to me. Turning to face me, she huffs, "Okay, spill."

So I do; I tell her everything that's happened, from my turmoil over Milo to my conversation with Laurelle. She listens intently, her face expressing a range of emotions as I drone on and on. Finally, when I'm finished, she takes another sip of her cocoa and places it on the coffee table. "I had no idea you were struggling so much," she says, "Why didn't you tell me? We used to tell each other everything,"

I shrug despite knocking exactly why I didn't. "I didn't really want to acknowledge the truth. I've spent years talking about how much I wanted to work on seven; I guess it took actually working up there to realize it wasn't what I wanted."

Her eyes soften. "Sometimes it be like that."

I laugh and gently push her shoulder before sipping my cocoa. "You're usually the reasonable one – you don't think I'm making a mistake?"

"I think you need to do whatever makes you happy." Her gaze brightens, suddenly glinting with mischief. "Like, say, working things out with Milo, perhaps?"

Just the mention of his name does something funny to my insides. "Since when are you an advocate for Milo?"

She smiles. "I'm not, but I'm not an idiot. I saw how happy you were when you were around each other, and now that you're not working on seven, there's nothing else left to get in the way."

"I know," I say, "and believe me, I want to, but I think I need some time to process walking away from my job. I need to make sure that this decision was for me and not him, you know? It's why I'm visiting my parents in LA for a few days." I pause and then, "My plane is tonight...I kind of need you to stay here and look after Mulan." Knowing what's coming, I give her my best version of a puppy dog expression. "Pretty please?"

Her face drops. "I hate cats."

"But Mulan loves you." Round two of puppy dog expression. "You'd be doing me a huge favor."

"Why do I have to stay here?"

"Mulan's more comfortable here, and I don't want her to think I've abandoned her."

Jess's eyes narrow. "You're lucky I love you, you know that?"

For the first time all day, I smile. "Oh, believe me, I know."

The next hour is mayhem as I finish packing and try to locate my passport. After checking and rechecking that I've not somehow managed to smuggle contraband in my hand luggage, I hug Mulan one last time. "I'm going to miss you," I say, "but Aunty Jess will send me regular updates to see how you're doing, and I'll be back before you know it, okay? I don't want you to think this is anything you've done wrong; mama just needs some time away from the big city life to recoup."

Jess watches me rubbing my cheek against Mulan's with an incredulous look. "You have been alone in this apartment for far too long."

I put Mulan down, running my gaze over the apartment. "Okay, I think I have everything. I'll message you when I get there, okay? Don't let anything happen to Mulan."

She nods and gives me a hug. "Do you promise you'll be back in time for my birthday party?"

"Of course," I say, hugging her tighter. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"And what if Milo asks about you? Which he does every day, by the way."

My eyebrows fly up. "He does?"

"Well, every day might be an exaggeration, but he's always trying to find out what you're up to. Do you want me to tell him what happened, or do you want to tell him?"

I think for a moment. As much as I wish I could see him, I'm determined I won't do it until I've somewhat cleared my head. I need to be sure I want this, that I'm not just running back to what feels safe and familiar; I need to be brave.

"You can tell him," I say, "and let him know I might not be reachable for a few days but that when I'm back, we can talk."

She nods because she gets it. Gets me. "Hurry back, okay? Not just because I don't want to look after that furball, but because I'll miss you."

"I will, I promise." Then I grab my luggage, say a final goodbye, and call an uber to take me to the airport.

Freedom takes over as the Uber pulls up and carries me into the night. For the first time in my life, it feels like I'm doing something I neither planned nor predicted, something that's solely for me. And despite feeling crazy and downright terrified, a part of me can't help but feel exhilarated.

Free.

A/N

Will Milo and Kennedy get their happy ever after?! 👀

Comment a heart if you want the next chapter tomorrow! ❤️