Skylar's POV

"Fuck off, Kyle." I gritted out, shoving him off to the side when he tried slinging his arm around me. "Can you try not to invade my personal space like a decent human being?"

Kyle raised his hands in surrender and laughed--which, as I was starting to learn, was his way of pissing me off.

"You make me sound like a perv."

"No." I corrected him. "You're actually a damn lunatic who also happens to be a pervert."

"A damn lunatic who made your night a heck lot better than..." He waved his hand in the air, giving me a knowing wink. "You get me."

"At this point, Kyle," I said, "sulking back in my apartment would've been a lot less tiring."

"But there wouldn't have been no ice skating." He pointed out, once again shrugging an arm around my shoulders. This time, though, I let him.

I wish he was wrong. But he wasn't. Even though I was really looking forward to sleeping the rest of the night away, tonight had been nice. Even Chicken had enjoyed herself too.

Not that it mattered, I reminded myself. It had just been one night. Tomorrow was going to be the same as it'd been this morning and this afternoon and this evening before Nova had dragged me out.

It was all going to remain the same. Maybe for a long long time. Maybe Caden would decide this was for the better. And maybe he would choose to stay away.

I looked down at Chicken and shrugged at her little meow. Guess I deserved one more night of self-pity. Chicken meowed again, wriggling in my arms before opening her mouth wide open, as if saying, no you don't.

I patted her on the head.

"Do you usually have silent conversations with your pet monster?" Kyle inquired.

I shoved him again, much more harshly this time. "That's my cat you're talking about, you lunatic."

Before Kyle could've said something--pled for guilty, I assume--Nova yelped from a little ahead of us, stopping at the gates of our apartment building.

"Oh, fuck, you guys!" She scrambled out her phone.

"And why," Kyle asked, "would you wanna fuck us both?"

I gave him a disturbed glance.

"Jessica is calling me." Her eyes were wide now. I was a bit surprised because I don't think I took her as the type to get scared over a prank-gone wrong so easily.

"How do you know that's her?" Was what I asked, tiredly rubbing my eyes. God, what would I not do for some sleep right now? "What's even the time right now? Night? Midnight? Late midnight?"

Kyle went over and peeked at her phone. A grin broke across his lips--one that only spoke volumes of trouble.

"She's got her number saved." He told me.

I blinked, then stared at Nova. "And what are you implying by that, Kyle?"

Nova looked up and her face reddened a little, which was loads more suspicious, before glaring at Kyle.

"Shut up, you hear me?"

"Do I?" He smiled. I rolled my eyes.

Nova cursed and answered the call, walking away from us and towards the apartment stairs.

"I feel like I'm the only one--"

Kyle cut me off. "Why does your pet monster look like it's seen a demon?"

I didn't really get the chance to correct Kyle that Chicken wasn't an it, but a she, since my cat jumped--literally jumped--out of my hands and ran out of the apartment premises like she'd caught herself on fire.

"Chicken!" I yelped. "Oh no. Oh fuck."

"Why is it named like that?" I heard Kyle snickering behind me.

I cursed out loud as I ran after her. Not again, I thought. Why the fuck couldn't my cat be a little civil and not run away into the night at all inappropriate times?

"Chicken, I swear to God--" I stopped to an abrupt halt, almost knocking myself into a potted plant when I spotted her around the corner. With somebody else.

"Caden." A whisper left my lips, escaping into the night. Caden. He was here.

His gaze was stuck at Chicken, who seemed to be roaming around his feet, and looked up when he heard me.

My breath hitched just a tiny bit, and then without even realizing it, I was walking towards him, nearing him, until I could see him.

And he was there, right there within arm's reach, and I took another step closer because now that he was here, it ached. My fingertips ached to reach out and touch. Touch something. Touch him.

His eyes widened just a little as if he knew what was going through my head, almost unnoticeable if I hadn't been staring, and he opened his mouth the same time I did.

"Caden, I--" I'm so sorry, was what I was about to say. But I didn't get to.

Not when, I realised a bit belatedly until he spoke up, Kyle was behind me too.

"Ah, your cat did see a de--after all." He broke the silence, seeming like he was seconds away from laughing out loud, which, as Caden's gaze snapped towards him, I didn't think would've been the right time.

I swallowed.

"What are you doing here?" Caden asked, leaning down to pick Chicken up in his arms. And he wasn't talking to me, because he wasn't even looking at me.

"Lovely meeting you here too, Caden."

"That's not what I asked you to say." Calm. Deadly.

I inhaled slowly, because I really really was exhausted and could things not go a little smoother for once in my life? Chicken meowed and I cautiously took her from Caden's hands. "He was here to visit his sister." I broke the tense silence.

"Yeah." I looked away when Kyle smirked. God, this wasn't the right time for this. "Have some quality time."

And he knew--I think everyone who'd been around Caden even for a short while knew--that it took him seconds sometimes to lose control of his temper.

"You should leave." He told Kyle, voice steady. A steady that wasn't calm at all. A steady that made me bristle a little.

"Kyle--"

I was cut off. "And what if I don't?" Kyle challenged.

It didn't even take a second before Caden was advancing towards him, fisting his hand in the front of Kyle's shirt before shoving him into the apartment wall.

I heaved a sigh, looking up at the sky.

"I've had a really really shit day, Kyle." I could hear him speak right into Kyle's face, which was more of an angry hiss. "Trying not to stab your sorry excuse of a leader to death."

I placed Chicken aside, giving her a soft nudge to tell her not to go astray on me again, as I walked towards Caden. "Caden."

Kyle did not look intimidated at all, just furrowed his brows in what seemed like a pissed manner.

Nothing seemed fine about this situation.

"What, you'll stab me to death instead?" Kyle sneered. His gaze flickered to me. "In front of her?"

I silently ran my hands up my face, trying to shake off the constant sick exhaustion. Fucking hell.

I could see the way Caden was clenching his jaw, fingers tightening on the front of Kyle's jacket, almost as if he was ready to choke him to death.

"Yes," he seethed. "I don't like hesitating when I'm using my fists." It would've been a bit funny to see the way Kyle's face reddened if it wasn't for the grip Caden had on his throat.

"Oh, I know." Kyle hissed back and shoved Caden away. What surprised me though, was when Caden didn't put up a fight right then--which I guess should've been alarming enough. "I've heard plenty about your all-talk and no-action strategy."

I didn't see the punch coming, and neither did Kyle, I think. The back of his head hit the concrete wall, reeling from the hit, and then Caden was onto him again, grabbing him close, fist slamming into Kyle's jaw. "All talk and no action, was it?" He growled.

"Oh Jesus, can you both stop?" I nearly yelled, purposefully pushing Caden aside (which was easier said than done, especially when he looked so murderous) and getting in between them. "For fuck's sake, Caden, let him be!"

Caden didn't look at me, gaze dark and threatening and just fixated on Kyle. I could've felt Kyle wiping the blood off his face behind me.

"Fucking bastard," Kyle muttered under his breath.

Caden lunged forward and I had to grab him by the shoulders. "Caden!" His eyes found mine and for a second there he looked confused and hurt and pained. Fucking hell.

But then he was pushing me aside and fisting his hand in Kyle's shirt one more time, voice low and full of threat, "Nowhere near her, am I clear?"

Kyle glared and his lip was bloodied. "Crystal." And then he was pushing Caden off and storming away.

It wasn't until Kyle's footsteps had grown faint--with this heavy silence between Caden and me--that Caden turned around to face me.

"What the fuck?" Oh, I was angry, all right. "Why the fuck did you have to do that?"

His brows were pinched together, fists by his sides until he exhaled, running his bruised hands through his hair and looking up at the sky.

I saw the way his jaw worked and his silence angered me even more.

"What do you think--" I was cut off, however, as he yanked me close, my chest colliding with his, before his arms came around me in a grip so tight and warm and just so him.

I faltered off in surprise, my hands flailing up to his shoulders when he pulled me in close, closer, and held me. And he was breathing fast and heavy, muscles tensed in a way that made me frown. That made my heart race.

There was a soft nudge on my ankle and I looked down at Chicken as she rubbed her small little nose on my jeans. I relaxed.

"Caden," I said.

He didn't say anything. Still didn't say anything.

I sighed, closing my eyes.

"I'm sorry." He whispered into my neck.

Sorry, I repeated in my head. "For what?" I asked. And I think he felt my anger draining away because he relaxed too. Just a little. I pushed him away so that I could see him. "For punching Kyle?"

"No." He frowned, and his eyes, God, he looked trapped in between anguish and conflict--nothing like the Caden I knew. Not the one who hid anything and everything. I didn't even think he realised that he wasn't hiding it right now. What he felt. "No. I'm not sorry for that."

"Caden--"

"Look, I know I'm an asshole, all right?" His grip on my waist tightened just a little before he let go. "But I'm not--He was fucking touching you just to spite me."

"He wasn't touching me." I lowered my voice. "Caden, it was nothing--"

"No, he was." He cut me off again. I frowned. "He was. He had--he had his arm around you and...fuck, Sky, I might deserve it but I can't, I can't fucking bear to lose you."

I stared at him, a tiny painful lump forming in my throat when I noticed the way his eyes widened, the green in them so soft and mellow, hurting. So vulnerable. And I didn't think I'd ever seen him like this. Like he was truly, entirely scared.

"I've already seen too many people go away, Sky." He laughed exasperatedly and even that was sad. "And I know I fuck things up, I've been destroying them since I was a kid. I destroy them and I watch them crumble away like a sick bastard. But that doesn't mean I want them to..." He trailed off, gritting his jaw, and I saw a brief flicker of him. Unsure of what to say and what not to say.

His hands were in his hair again, messing it up, and gripping the strands. "I don't want them to go away. I never wanted them to go away. I don't, Sky, I don't want you to go--"

I kissed him.

I knew fully well what I wanted so I took it. I wanted to stop him from rambling, because he was doing just that. I wanted him to stop looking so scared, because he looked terrified. And I wanted, I wanted to know all of it. I wanted to see him.

I grabbed his face and I kissed him. And I saw, I felt the moment he let go, hands reaching out for me, gripping my sweater and pulling me flush against him.

It was sweet and fervent and hot and my hands were in his hair, tugging, hearing myself groan when he pushed me back against the wall, hands on my hips and hoisting me up until I had my legs wrapped around him, and his hands were under my sweater, cold and dizzying and familiar.

"I don't deserve you." He murmured into my neck, lips on my throat, so hot and urgent.

I breathed out and tipped my head back against the wall, eyes fluttering close. "Y-Yes. Yes, you do."

My hands tugged on his shirt, jacket, and everything that was coming in the way because I wanted to touch him. God, I needed. I pushed his jacket off of his shoulders but that was all that he let me do.

Grabbing my wrists, he pinned them on either side of my head and exhaled sharply, head dipping to rest near the crook of my neck.

"Wait. Fuck." He rasped. I blinked, confused. "I need to explain first. You need a fucking valid explanation and I won't...I'm not kissing my way to forgiveness like a bastard. You deserve better than that."

I swallowed, feeling my eyes mist over.

Caden pulled away and let go of my wrists, and once I was standing on my own two feet, a bit dizzy and cold now that he wasn't close, he held my face in his hands, green eyes meeting mine.

"You deserve better than that, Sky." He repeated.

I nodded because I really didn't think I could've said anything coherent right then.

•••••

"So what you're saying is that Rena is alive," I repeated the words Caden had just told me. "Or she may be alive."

I didn't know how much time had passed since I'd been sitting sideways on Caden's bike, hearing him speak and explain, legs dangling as I listened. He paced all the while, too tense to hold still. I didn't mind. I was way too fixated on what he was saying.

"I don't know." He faced me and I looked up. "I thought...well, I thought Blake had something to do with it."

I shrugged because I would've pointed fingers at Blake too if I were in Caden's place. "But he didn't?"

"No." He shook his head, leaning against the apartment wall right across from me. "I showed that paper to him, the one that said Rena is alive. And all he told me was that he'd received the same threats in prison too, but had paid no mind to it. Because he thinks it's just that. A piece of paper with mindless words written on it."

It isn't ever just a piece of paper, I wanted to say.

"But...what if she is alive?" I asked in a whisper, pulling my sweater sleeves over my frozen fists. "Alive and--How many years would it be, Caden?"

Caden looked away and I saw the way his brows furrowed, thinking, contemplating. "Six." I watched him swallow as he looked back at me. "I think."

Six years, I thought. If Rena was alive, Blake's little sister, where had she been for six whole years? It saddened me to even think of it.

"Six years since the fire at your family mansion happened?" I asked quietly.

He nodded.

Chicken meowed and tried to join me on Caden's motorcycle. I didn't understand how she was jumping and playing around and not even a tiny bit exhausted after such a long night.

"Sky," he started. "I know I should've told you all about this sooner. Way sooner than this. But I don't think I could've."

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because you've got a life here." He said it like it should've been obvious to me. Like it was a thing that he didn't want to ruin. "A decent life. A normal life. Every time I talk to you, every single time I'm near you, and when I try telling you these things, all of these complicated messes, I just can't."

I frowned a little.

"You don't get it." He shook his head. "You don't understand but every time I pull you into any of my messes, it feels like I'm tearing away the only good left from your life. The good that you deserve to have."

I placed my hands on either side of me, gripping the black leather seat. "There's already a creepy hooded stalker after me, Caden."

"Yeah." He stretched it out, brows furrowed. "And that's probably because of me too."

"Well, maybe," I said. "But that's how this works, Caden. I trust you with stuff. You're supposed to trust me too."

"I do trust you."

"Not enough to open up to me." I shook my head, not breaking away from his gaze. He didn't either. "Not enough to tell me that you need me at times when things seem impossible for you."

He stuffed his hands in his jacket pockets. "I do always need you, Sky."

"And I need you too, Caden," I told him, trying to make him understand, tell him that I meant it. "All of you. Even the parts that scare you."

He scrunched up his nose and there was that, tiny hints of the Caden who wouldn't really have appreciated my choice of words. I couldn't help but smile because it didn't matter. He'd opened up to me, a little if not all. He'd apologised and he'd explained because he wanted me. He wanted me back.

One couldn't see it so easily, but I think I knew, I understood why he found it so hard to say the truth sometimes. Because sometimes that's all he knew.

"And if you change your mind?" His voice broke me from my thoughts.

I rolled my eyes. "Well, I'm here, aren't I? I'm exhausted. It feels like I can sleep for days. But I'm still here, talking to you, and freezing my ass off under this cold night."

I watched as he walked towards me, near and nearer until he was right there. "Isn't that alone a big fucking clue, Caden?"

"I think it is." He stared at me.

I smiled up at him, reaching out to pull his hands from his pockets so that I could selfishly get some warmth. I just wished, hoped, that he'd smile too.

"And I forgive you, by the way, if that wasn't clear with the way I kissed you just an hour or so before," I added. "Just no more lies. Okay?"

He wasn't looking at me, but down at our hands, brows a bit furrowed again. I tugged on his right hand and he looked up.

"Where's the ring?" He asked me.

I blinked, confused, and then realised almost instantly what he was talking about.

"Oh...uh...um." I trailed off, eyes widening a bit. "I took it off."

He blinked. "Right."

"I just...it just reminded me of you." I blurted out, then winced before rubbing the tip of my nose when it tingled. "I didn't know when I'd see you again. Nova was like, let's go out tonight to distract you. So I took it off because I thought I couldn't be easily distracted if I'm wearing that. Which was stupid. I know it was stupid."

"It wasn't." He replied softly. "I get it. You needed space."

"You did give me space."

He stared at me. He stared for a long time. I could've seen the way the green of his eyes softened. Such a beautiful beautiful green. "I really messed up, didn't I?" He asked in a quiet whisper.

I gripped his hands a bit tighter. "Maybe. But you're here now."

"I can't promise I won't fuck shit up again the next time too, Sky."

I gave him a sad smile. I wouldn't expect him to. Years of habit to pull all those guards up, close in on himself, all that couldn't just...poof into thin air.

"I know," I said. "But if you do, at least I'll know you didn't really mean to."

He huffed a small laugh, a tired, exhausted laugh, and closed his eyes, angling his head up towards the sky. I watched the movement of his throat as he swallowed.

"You'll try your best, though." I let my forehead rest on his arm.

I felt him sigh. "I will." And then his hand was in my hair, leaning down to place a kiss on the top of my head. "I will."

I missed you, I wanted to say. But I was tired and warm and