I slick the comb back in my hair, styling my hair up to give that 'fresh out of bed' look that I know Lexi loves. Normally, I'd push it back with just water, but she wanted me to get extra done up for the app launch. I stare at myself in the mirror, catching her sitting on the edge of the bed in nothing but a towel, reading through her notes again. Her dark brown hair is straight as a pin, and I find myself missing her natural waves. She looks good in anything but I know she wanted to look older, more professional with her hair straight versus wavy. 

At times, when she smiles at me with both dimples and her waves frame her face, she looks exactly like she did when she  walked into my house during the fall party five years ago. And I find myself falling in love with her all over again. 

"Everything okay over there?" I ask, grabbing my toothbrush. She's been pretty silent all day, her nerves radiating off of her like a heat wave on the beach in July, which is ironic considering its a cold and windy November day. She barely touched her breakfast this morning and I could only get her to eat a few pieces of fruit for lunch. 

"I just want everything to go perfectly." she says, flipping over the page. Her eyes scan it, reading it then setting it off to the side on the bed. She stands and walks towards me, grabbing her own toothbrush. 

I rinse my mouth then dry my hands before wrapping my arms around her waist. "You're going to be great. And if you start to get nervous, I'll be standing right by the stage. Just give me the look and I'll rescue you." 

Her shoulders release the tension she was holding and she gives me a small smile. "I can't wait to meet them all. I wish it were under better circumstances, but they need to know they are believed and loved." 

 God damn this woman turns me to mush. I place a kiss on top of her head, inhaling her signature strawberry vanilla scent. "I love you." 

I can feel her smile into my chest, her arms giving me a squeeze. "I love you more." 

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I step out of the blacked out SUV, white flashes going off every second, and I hear at least ten people screaming my name. Ah, the media frenzy. I definitely didn't miss this. 

I walk over to Lexi's side, open the car door, and hold out my hand. She places her shaky delicate hand into mine and I help her out. Her black heel touches the concrete, and I can see her leg visibly shaking under the black tights. Come on baby, you can do this. 

She stands straight up, her long trench coat uncreasing, and plasters a big smile on her face. She's getting better at playing to the cameras and a pang of guilt hits me. She shouldn't have to do this. 

I lean down, my lips dangerously close to her ear, and I feel pants getting tighter. "Arm or hand?"

She looks at me, her eyes only showing me how nervous she is, and takes a deep breath. "Arm. I need the support."

I nod, then hold out my arm. She slides her hand through it and grabs onto my bicep with a death grip. I wonder if she'll ever get comfortable enough to walk these types of events without needing me. I hope not. Kris's wife still gets nervous, and she's been doing this for ten years. The media can be a bitch.

We walk past the hounding vultures and into the event center. Twinkling white lights are strung across the room while round tables with square chairs are seated around the stage. There's a tall, dark brown podium on the stage, front and center and it looks like the President of the United States is going to speak, not Lexi and I. 

"Where is everyone?" Lexi asks me, looking around the room. She's right, besides me and her, only the waitstaff is in here. 

"Oh you guys made it!" Adrianna says, coming around the corner. Her black dress clings to her body while her heels look like they could poke an eye out. 

"I thought everyone would be here by now." I say. 

She shakes her head. "No, they'll be here in about twenty minutes. I thought Lexi could use this time to settle her nerves and get familiar with the stage and the room."

Lexi releases my arm and pulls Adrianna in for a fierce hug. "Thank you." she says, her voice full of emotion. Adrianna smiles and squeezes her back. "It's Mason and I who should be thanking you princess. Without you, the app wouldn't have gotten the support it needed." 

Good God who is cutting onions in this place. I turn away from them in an attempt to keep my composure. I know I'm going to lose it at Lexi's speech so I need to keep it together until then. 

"Come on. Let me show you the stage." Adrianna says, leading her away from me. 

"I'm just going to check out the venue." I say, eyeing up the food in the corner.

"Have fun at the snack table." Lexi says over her shoulder. I smile, she knows me so well. 

I adjust my purple skirt one more time, hoping it stays in place. I'm standing by the stairs of the stage where Mason is speaking. He's talking about how the app came to fruition but all I can think about is how I'm up next. I feel like that Eminem song, my palms are sweaty, my knees weak, and my arms are heavy, however thank God I don't have vomit on my outfit. 

Cool hands rub my arms in a comforting way. "Don't worry, they're going to love you." Adrianna says behind me. I nod and roll my shoulders, hoping to relieve some tension. 

"And now I want to welcome a very special woman who means the world to me to the stage. Everyone, please give a warm welcome to Lexi Olson." Mason says, turning towards me with a megawatt smile. I smile back, feeling some of the nerves dissipate. He holds out a hand to help me up the stairs and gives it a small squeeze before walking down the stairs himself. I walk up the podium, commanding myself to put one foot in front of the other, until I reach the center stage. 

I set my papers down on the podium and look out at the audience. There's a mixture of investors in the back and survivors in the front. Sadly, it's mostly women in the front but there's a few men mixed in there. Blondes, brunettes, redheads, girls with short hair, long hair, white, black, Latina, Mexican, Indian, Asian. It doesn't matter, sexual assault doesn't discriminate. I take a deep breath and begin. 

"Hi everyone, my name is Lexi and I'm a sexual assault survivor. And today, I'm here to share my story with you. I know recovery takes time and that we're all on different paths." I pause to look at everyone. They all seem to appear to be engaged in what I'm saying but also, I can barely hear myself over my pounding heart.

"I was 18 when my assault happened. I had just finished my senior year of high school and was looking forward to college. My biggest worries were what dress was I going to wear to the local bonfire party and if my mom would let me stay out past my 10 pm curfew. But all of that changed over one decision. It happened so fast, but at the same time, you don't know what's happening. And when you do, you shut down and shut off from the world." My voice cracks a little and I take a deep breath to keep my composure. 

"It's the worst feeling in the world, the aftermath. For me, I pulled away from everyone. My parents, my sisters, my friends. Nobody understood what I was going through, I mean how could they? I didn't tell anyone for a long time. Was it the shame? The guilt? The realization that if I spoke it into existence then it was true. I'm not sure what took me so long to say anything, and honestly, I don't think I ever will." I take another long pause and see some of the investors in the background are swiping at falling tears. I swallow my own tears and continue. 

"I know what it's like to wake up everyday and the fight you have to go through just to get out of bed. The dark holes you spiral down into. The self-guilt. But therapy saved me. My therapist helped me in ways I can't describe. I know therapy isn't for everyone, but there is something out there to help you through one the of the horrific moments of your life."

"This app that Mason is releasing wouldn't have saved me and I know that. But that doesn't mean it can't save another girl. It can save that girl who is walking home late from the library after a long study session. It can help that girl who wants to go to the gym in the early morning for a workout. The girl who wants escorted home from a party, a girl who got a little drunk, a girl who needs to leave a situation that went from comfortable to uncomfortable." I flip my paper over then pause to look out at the crowd. My heart has settled into a resting pace and I can clearly see everyone know. My confidence is rising by the second. 

"I'm not saying it's perfect, I'm not saying it's going to completely eliminate rape, but it gives us a fighting chance. And all we needed in the seconds before our own nightmares, was a chance. Just by a show of hands, how many of you are currently living on a college campus?" I ask.

I count at least twelve hands in the air before continuing. "How many of you know someone who could've benefited from this service?"

More hands fly up in the air, confirming what I already thought. "I can tell you that I never expected I would be an advocate or that I would share my story so publicly, but I believe that this app can save others. I believe it'll help others keep their innocence longer than we were able to. I wouldn't back something if I didn't believe from the bottom of my heart that it would do more good than harm. Thank you for listening to my story today." I say, my voice shaky. I feel like I'm going to lose it any second but I tell myself to keep it together. 

I collect my papers when I'm greeted with a thunderous round of applause and a standing ovation when I let the tears fall. I turn to look at Mason to help me but as always, he's already one step ahead and standing next to me.