I'm about to take a bite of my mouth-watering pizza when I hear a loud bang. What the hell was that? Shaking my head I go back in for the pizza when I hear a loud "damn it."

My eyes flutter open as I look around the room for the mystery sound. Damn, the pizza was just a dream. I reach across the bed, my hand hitting the mattress instead of Lexi's naked body. Her spot next to me is vacant and I'd bet my life she's the one causing the noise. I roll over onto my back, rubbing my eyes, and feeling the cool sheet wrap around my own body. When we left the event last night, we decided to have a sex marathon, something that I was not upset about, until we crashed sometime around 4am.

Another bang comes from the kitchen as I hear her muttering to herself. What could she possibly be up to? I grab my phone to look at the time and see that it isn't even eight am. What the fuck is this crazy girl doing at this hour?

I toss the sheet off my body and search for a pair of shorts. Clothes are thrown all over the room, her pink dress laying on the floor in a bunch while my suit and tie are hanging off of my dresser, looking like they just came from battle. I smirk as I see her heels at the foot the bed. Somehow I convinced her to keep those on with nothing else, a mental picture forever etched into my brain, along with her moans of "I love you", which was music to my ears.

"Where the hell does he keep the bleach?" I hear Lexi grumbling from the kitchen. "Does he even own a sponge?"

I stifle a laugh and continue to listen to her from the safety of my room. I wasn't kidding when I said she doesn't open up to me about how she's feeling so if I can eavesdrop on her and possibly hear something, then fuck it, I'm going to.

I hear the static of another voice and I realize she must be on the phone. "No Gia, the sex was good. Better than good it was great. Mind blowing you could say."

I puff my chest out a little, my ego enjoying this conversation. I listen to her continue to open and close cabinets as if she's going to find my bleach. Jokes on her, I have a housekeeper who comes once a week to clean my penthouse. I simply don't have time to clean between traveling, practice, and mandatory media days. But concern takes over me. Lexi only cleans furiously like this when she's stressed out. During finals week she deep cleaned her house and my house.

"Then what's the matter besides having a guy give you so many orgasms you lose count?"

The sound of my breakfast stool scrapping across the floor echoes down the hall as Lexi lets out a loud sigh. "I don't know. I do know. I'm - I'm just not sure. I told him I loved him last night G."

A shrill scream comes from what I can only assume is Gia on the phone. "You said I love you again. Oh my god Lexi! What's the big deal you know he loves you."

"He's a free agent," she starts at the exact time I try to move my head closer to the door to listen when I smack my elbow off the dresser. Aw hell.

"I gotta go G, he's up. I love you, give that beautiful baby of yours a kiss from Aunt Lexi" she says, scrapping the stool on the floor again.

I rub my eyes to give them that bleary, 'I just woke up' look and walk down the hall and into the kitchen.

"Good morning babe." I say, pulling her tiny body in for a hug, inhaling her strawberry scent. "How did you sleep?"

She plants a small kiss on my bare chest before breaking my hold. She whips around, grabbing the closest bowl, and starts for the cabinet. "Great, I slept like a rock but you know me I can't sleep in anymore."

I follow her and take the bowl out of her hands, her big blue eyes peering up at me curiously. "Lexi, why don't we talk about last night."

She looks down at our feet, biting her lip. "I don't really want to."

"Baby we have to talk about it at some point and I think we should before we get on a plane to Vegas today." I push a loose strand of hair away from her face while she contemplates on what to do. I don't know what I'm going to do if she tells me no. Probably lose my mind. But if there's shot a in hell that we're going to make this relationship work, we have to be open and honest. Incase you couldn't tell, communication is not our strong point.

She walks over the couch, crossing her legs, waiting for me to follow. I sit opposite of her, choosing to give her space and throw my arm over the back of the couch, giving her shoulder an encouraging squeeze. She continues to stare at her hands, intertwining them then taking them apart again.

I guess I'll kick things off then. "Why are you scared to fall in love with me again?"

Silent tears fall down her tanned face and I quickly swipe them away. She looks up at me, tears welling up in her eyes. "Because you have the ability to crush me. You don't understand. On the outside it probably looked so easy to you that I was moving on with my life. But I was a wreck."

Her tears turn to sobs and her body begins to shake uncontrollably. Space be damned. I pull her into my chest, stroking her hair, while she cries.  "I was depressed for two years. Two years of grieving over our relationship Mason. I tried keeping up with how you were doing through mutual friends but it was too painful." She snuggles deeper into me, her grip hanging on to me for dear life.

"I didn't know you were depressed. Gia never said anything."

She swipes angrily at the tears. "That's because I didn't tell her. I didn't tell anyone. I would drive to Santa Monica pier and cry on a bench for hours while watching the ocean. Getting up to go to work everyday felt like a massive weight on my shoulders. There were days I thought it was impossible."

She chokes on a second wave of tears before clearing her throat to continue. "I thought you had been cheating on me since we got back together because I wasn't giving into you on sex. I felt worthless. I thought you were okay with waiting which now I know you were. But I was meeting with Morgan weekly to talk about what happened to me. I was reliving those nightmares daily and I had nobody to talk to about it because it was supposed to be you Mason. You. You're the one I should've been confiding in and holding me at night and telling me everything will be okay."

My heart cracks a little more with each admission. I was hurting too but not in the same way she was. I assumed since she changed her number it was over for her. "I should've tried harder to reach out, I'm sorry."

She shakes her head violently. "It's not your fault. I'm the one who walked away and changed their number. I realize I put you in a no win position. But now, I'm scared I'm not going to be good at this lifestyle for you."

My eyebrows scrunch trying to figure out what she's talking about. My lifestyle? All the traveling I'm assuming. "I know it's not easy with me being away so much."

"That's not all of it. Last night when your mom asked me if I'd move to wherever you're going. I don't want that. I don't want to have to give up my career that I worked so damn hard for." Her breaths start to level out to somewhat normal but I can tell she's holding back.

"I love you more than anything else in the world and I never stopped loving you. But I'm not going to become one of those wives who quits their job and travels with their husband everywhere, doing influencer marketing on Instagram. That's not me, that's not who I am."

I rub my hand in small circles on her back, thinking over her words. I'm not surprised she wants to keep her own career, I've known that since we met. She's the most independent stubborn woman I've ever met and while I'd love for her to come everywhere with me, I know this isn't the life she wants.

"Do you think I'll love you less if you don't move with me?" I ask slowly, trying to see inside her mind.

She sniffles before nodding. I let out a deep sign before lifting her chin up to meet my eyes. "Lexi I am not the same man I was in college. I would never expect you to drop your career to be on the road with me 24/7. And I never asked you to move with me if I don't stay in California."

"I know but the pressure feels that way. You saw the articles already about us. Can you imagine what your parents would think of me if I don't do it? I saw what your mom would think."

I hold her jaw tightly in my hand as she tries unsuccessfully to hide again. "I don't care what they think and you shouldn't either. We will figure this out together. If you don't want to walk the red carpets with me anymore, you don't have to."

Her eyes brim with tears again and I can see the invisible pressure she's putting on herself to be perfect. "But Adrianna said it would be easier with the press if I.."

I cut her off, harsher than I intended. "Stop Lexi just fucking stop. Stop thinking about what everyone else wants you to do and tell me what you want to do. Do you not want to do this anymore? Are you trying to break up with me?" I fucking hope not.

She loops her arms around the back of my neck, stroking the loose hairs. "Of course I'm not. I want to be with you because I love you. It's just going to take a little time for me to adjust to the media frenzy I think."

I rest my forehead against hers, savoring her warm scent. "That's fine. I'll help you however I can. And in return, I promise to give you loads of hot sex, just how you like it."

She chuckles before giving me a quick peck on the lips. "Deal. Thank you. Now, tell me how you started talking to your mom again."

I know we need to have this conversation but my stomach is two seconds away from eating itself if I don't get some food in me soon. I debate on how to start this, how to tell her that her absence is what made me reach out. It was an impulse decision late at night when I had too much to drink and was missing her.

"Are you sure you don't want some pancakes first?" I ask finally, trying to buy myself some more time.

She chuckles then tightens her grip around my neck. "You're not avoiding this. Tell me please."

I let out a deep breath and start from the beginning.

*Author's note: I was going to put the mom conversation in this chapter but I after I wrote the whole thing it was like 5,000 words so I'm splitting it BUT you will have it by this Friday! Also, how nice is it that Mason and Lexi are having an open and honest conversation like ~ adults ~

As always, I love all of your reads, votes, and comments. And for those asking, no there will not be a third book. Lexi and Mason's story will end in Losing Our Way and I'm looking at about 50 chapters same as Finding Our Way.