I wish there was a clock in this place. How can Levi not have some device besides his phone that can tell time? It feels like they've been gone for hours, no, days. I tried my hardest to count every minute that went by, but I'd get distracted by the open wound in my chest that Levi gave me before leaving. Even sitting near my window, my face pressed up against the glass, doesn't calm me. Every person that walks by makes my heart leap, hoping and praying it's them coming back.

What's taking them so long? How many minutes does it take to realize you have nothing in common with someone? Did they get lost? Did she kill him? Levi, where are you?!

To add to my torture, the night is dead. It's like the streets are tormenting me, laughing at my misery. Barely any cars have passed tonight when usually the streets would be filled with life. Was this a part of the plan for my never ending hell? To rid the city of distractions and only give me a few so when I heard a person walking or someone talking to another person my heart would explode?

A loud high pitched laugh jolts every nerve of mine to attention. It's like an electric current has sizzled the cells inside me, even though that's not possible. All my cells are dead, just like me in the emotional sense. I'm washed with a wave of relief which fights with the tsunami of sadness when I see Levi and Carmen cross the street. If someone were to snatch her up from the park behind them, I wouldn't mind. Just leave my precious Levi alone.

Carmen leans her body into him, his hand resting casually on her waist as they make their way to the building. I should be happy, ecstatic even, that it's over. He's finally home and in just a few minutes he'll be here and she'll be in her apartment. I don't mind not being able to hear about how it all went. I just need him back here with me. That's all I want.

I hurry to the front door, anxiously waiting to hear the elevator doors open and their footsteps in the hall. It feels like it's taking forever, but I know that's just my nerves talking. I twist my fingers together, more nervous than ever. When I hear that ding of the elevator, I stop. Carmen's cackle echoes everywhere. She's so loud it's like that witch is right in front of me. How can he stand that shrill laugh of hers? Was this not the same sounds villains made when they've captured the heroes?

The sound gets closer. I can't even hear Levi at this point. Carmen is so near that I'm starting to get scared. And then a sound that's almost as worse as her cackle makes me fall back, landing on the floor with a thud. A key scrapes the lock, the doorknob turning in slow motion, and my hands shake. In fact, my whole body starts to vibrate. It's like my worst nightmare plays out right in front of my eyes.

The door creaks open, Levi pushing it wide while Carmen stands there, her hands behind her back, her eyes on him. He peers into the apartment, almost like he's expecting this place to be in shambles. Stepping to the side, he gestures for her to come in.

This can't be happening.

Like a quiet little mouse (or shall I say rat) she peaks in, her head swiveling left and right as she eyes the place before coming inside. She puts her purse on the island, stepping on my ankle. Some part of me feels like she did that on purpose. She heads over to the espresso machine and runs her fingers along the top.

"Are you a big coffee guy?" she asks, her tone low and a little sluggish. She's drunk. Levi kicks off his shoes by the entryway, his eyes glassy just like they were when he was sitting on the couch with Mell.

"For better or worse. I usually just have one in the morning to wake me up." he says, picking up his shoes and heading for the bedroom. When he's out of her line of sight, Carmen rubs the two fingers that swiped the machine together. Her lips turn down and her nose crinkles, a look of disgust on her face which she quickly changes once she hears Levi come back out. She puts on that same misty eyed expression she had before.

I knew it! She's a fraud. A deceiver. There's a snake in our garden and she's come to fill your head up with lies, Levi. She was never good for you, my gut told me so. And now I had the evidence to prove it. She's disgusted by the dust she found on your coffee machine. Miss prim and proper doesn't know what it's like for you to be so wrapped up in your art that you forget to clean. She has no clue how hard you've been working to get rid of this block that has you in a cage.

I knew. I knew. I knew. I don't want to say I told you so, but...

Carmen strides over to the barstool, swaying her hips while she walks. When she arches her back to sit down, I know I've had enough. Levi on the other hand seems like he's just getting started. His focus trails down to her hips, her dress hiking up just enough that she has to cross her legs so her panties don't show. I'm surprised she's even wearing anything underneath.

She plops herself harder than necessary to sit, her breasts bouncing to catch Levi's eyes. I notice him take a deep gulp. She lifts her crossed leg, pointing her booted foot at him.

"Do you mind? It's such a pain to take them off myself." she coos.

"Yeah, sure. I mean, no. I don't mind."

He stumbles over to her. We both observe this beauty of a man, with his flushed cheeks and dark eyes, make his way to her. Those eyes of his set my soul on fire, but now I'm burning for a different reason. I'm a bottle of soda being shaken furiously, the top almost ready to burst. Carmen's shaking me. She's waiting for it all to spill over, the mess she won't clean because the woman can't even stand a little dust. She sickens me.

She wiggles her foot at him and bites her lip as she leans back. If God was really on my side he'd make her fall. But, of course, nothing happens (thanks for that). Levi runs his hand slowly up the side of her calf until he feels the zipper. With the other, he gently lifts her heel, placing it between his thighs to get a steadier grip. I lay on the floor suffering as he takes his time pulling the zipper down.

Carmen tugs her foot out of the boot, batting her mascara coated eyelashes at him when she uncrosses and crosses her legs so he can take off the other. Like a gentleman that he is, Levi doesn't give in to the temptation of looking in between her legs. At least I can be thankful for that. Unfortunately for me, I'm the one with the full peep show of her cherry lace underwear. Cute.

Levi does the same with the other boot, running his hand up her calf until he finds the zipper and pulls it down slowly. Carmen's eyes sit heavily on Levi's lips while his stay focused on her thighs. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I have to get up, not for them but for me. It's not like I want to be here witnessing this.

I shift my knees under me and push myself up off the floor, my body so close to Levi that I can smell the alcohol coming out his pores. How much poison did Carmen allow him to ingest just for her amusement? What was her end goal tonight? As if I didn't already know.

She pops her foot out the other boot and Levi places them on the floor next to her seat. She uncrosses her legs again, her rosy dress sliding up from the thickness of her thighs. She presses her body forward, leaning her arm on the counter to keep herself steady. The straps on her dress strain against her breasts the more she leans, which is probably exactly what she wants. I move myself so I can see Levi's face. I need to know if he's playing right into her not so subtle trap.

All the saliva in my mouth disappears when I see the blush on his face, his eyes flicking from below her neckline to the pearls around her throat, and then settling hungrily on her mouth. How many times was this man going to break my heart in one night? I know I'm dead, but dammit Levi, have some compassion.

Carmen drops her hands in her lap, squeezing her arms together to add to her already noticeable tits. Jesus Carmen, we get it.

"Tonight was amazing." she tells him. "Thanks for taking me out."

"Anytime."

She leans closer to him, her body barely on the seat now. "You mean that? Anytime?"

He nods, that glassy gaze shifting to hers. "I do. Anytime, Carmen."

"Don't say my name."

"Or what?" he smirks.

"Or I might not be able to control myself. It's already been such a struggle this far. I don't want to end the night losing it because you keep saying my name like that."

"Like what? Tell me."

She fingers the loops of his pants and gives a gentle tug, pulling him closer to her. "Like there's nowhere else you'd rather be. Like I'm the only person that matters right now." she purrs, pulling him in so his chest is now touching hers.

I think I'm going to die. This isn't my Levi. This isn't the man I fell in love with. His mind is clouded by the alcohol and Carmen's perfume and her goddamn boobs basically spilling out of her too tight dress. He wouldn't do this to me if he was sober, if she wasn't here. No, even if she was here, he wouldn't do this. He's a gentleman, a man who would never give in to such crass and lustful behavior. He wasn't the kind of guy to rush things, especially on a first date. I know him, I know who he is. This wasn't him.

His hand trails to the back of her neck, disappearing into her strands while the other caresses her exposed legs. His fingertips follow the hem of her dress until that too disappears to the side of her body I can't see. He nudges her to him, his eyes so low I'm not even sure they're open anymore. He dips his chin to her glossed lips, hesitating for a moment, breathing her in. I know because I can hear his shaky inhales.

"Carmen." he finally says, breaking the tension.

She grins like a Cheshire Cat. "Levi." she whispers against his lips. And with that he closes the last inch between them, their lips colliding together like two people starved for the other. A low moan rips through him. A soft one erupts from her mouth into his and I feel every part of my brain sizzle.

Every groove in my skull, every atom that's kept me here thus far, explodes like something super nova. Something catastrophic and unshakeable. I step back, his tongue darting into her mouth searching, exploring, while she lets her blush colored lips pounce on him. His eyes are shut and I hate the way he looks so calm, so utterly blissful, against Carmen. But, of course, her eyes never close. They stay low, her lust colored eyes mesmerized by this art work of a man giving himself to her.

He caresses the back of her head with the hand that's already tangled in her hair, his chin slowly moving as he deepens the kiss between them. She runs her delicate looking fingers along his wrist, almost praising him in this sickening touch, and his body reacts in a way that makes my vision blur. I can't take it. I can't watch. He's kissing her because he's drunk. Because he's lonely and the only thing that can take his mind off that for a second is Carmen. Kissing her because he can't kiss me. That has to be it. That must be why. Levi, tell me that's the reason and it's not because you actually value this woman who has no respect for you, for your work.

Carmen's other hand leaves its comfortable position of being hooked on the loop of his pants. She glides her open palm towards his zipper. I think I might be sick. I can't see anything clearly anymore. It's like my vision is distorted and the image in front of me isn't real. When people say they start to see red when they get angry, they're not joking. I feel as if someone has taken my eyes and switched them out with one's that only hold that hue of crimson. The same color as the blood thirsty anger that boils like lava through my entire being.

I take another step back, my focus on Carmen's hand on Levi's pants. She wouldn't, would she? On the first date? When she's just barely gotten to know him? She palms between his thighs and when I hear the sound that comes from him, the red in my sight becomes so dark it's almost black. I run to the bathroom because I can't put myself through this for another second. I can't watch this blonde leech suck the life out of him while I just stand there like the idiot she thinks I am.

Leaning my shaking palms against the sink, I look up into the mirror. The lack of reflection only makes me feel crazier. I'm as see through and invisible as ever now. Losing to Carmen seemed impossible before, but now she was closer to the finish line than I was. She had him eating out of her claws and what could I do about it? I couldn't even see myself in the damn mirror.

I let out a blood curdling scream. Releasing the pain of seeing him with her tear through me. I slam my fists on the counter, thinking over and over again about them out there, about him with her. My shoulders shake as I pound my hands against the stupid mirror that refuses to show me who I am. I'm nothing. I'm no one. I'm not even a thought in his mind.

Carmen's laugh floats into the bathroom, a knife piercing my eardrums. It's like I can't escape her taunting. Gritting my teeth I yell through the open door but her laugh just continues. Levi's chuckle follows after, like a shot to the heart. I've had enough. My vision is swimming with so much anger that I don't even think I can stand for much longer.

I reach for the doorknob and throw the door shut, my breath coming out in short gasps.

Wait. Did I just shut the door?