Mornings were confusing.

I never knew how to act around Peyton — did I act like the kiss we shared never happened, or did I act on my attraction and growing feelings towards her? Each morning I found myself lying awake in bed, staring blankly at the curling, waiting to hear her get up and walk down the stairs. I would wait about half an hour before getting up myself, putting on an outfit that I deemed presentable (and possibly showing off my body more now that I knew she found me attractive) and walked downstairs.

I always waited for her to say good morning first, which she did the moment I appeared downstairs. I would gage her body language and act accordingly, not wanting to make any sort of move if she wasn't willing to. So far, she hadn't made a move more than putting her arm around the back of my chair whilst sitting on the lounge watching TV. This made me question her motives surrounding the kiss — was it just a spur of the moment decision that she now regretted?

We had lost track of the days of the week, relying on our phones to tell us the date. It was a Friday night and the sun was setting. We had gotten a good package from the army a few days prior which had included frozen pizzas. We were cooking them in the oven, waiting hungrily for them to be done.

"It's Friday, we should drink!" Peyton suddenly spike into the silence.

Her announcement had taken me by surprise. Drinking on a Friday night was not something I had ever done. In fact, drinking in general was not something I had ever done.

"D — drink? As in...alcohol?" I questioned.

"What else? You know...to celebrate a successful medication drop off mission!" she smirked, standing up from her spot on the couch and walking over to my mums liquor cabinet in the corner of the kitchen. "What do you want?"

I didn't want to advertise the fact that I had never had alcohol before, so I just said, "I'll just have what you're having!"

She returned moments later with two glasses and a bottle of whiskey. I had seen my mum drink it occasionally, but not often. Peyton poured a small amount into a glass and handed it to me, then pouring herself the same amount. She took a small sip and I mimicked her, attempting but failing to hide my blanch as the liquid burnt my throat as I swallowed. Luckily she hadn't seen me, instead swirling the honey coloured liquid in the crystal glass.

"Ah," she sighed. "It's been a minute since I've had a drink!"

I hummed in response, still not wanting to give away the fact that this was my first time drinking alcohol. It's not that I had never had the chance, I just had no desire to. The thought of losing control of my thoughts and abilities had given me anxiety in the past, but not today. I felt safe with Peyton.

It didn't take long for the effects of the alcohol to consume me. Soon after I had finished the first glass, a comfortable warmth had spread through my body. My head felt lighter and giddier, and my coordination was faltering slightly.

"Truth or Dare, McMann?" Peyton suddenly spoke, her famous smirk plastered on her face. Normally I would've declined the invitation to play such a game, but the alcohol was progressively lowering my inhibitions and so I nodded in agreement.

"If you don't answer the truth or do the dare, you have to take a swig. Deal?" she said, and I nodded again. "So what'll it be? Truth or dare?"

"Um...truth!" I blurted out, quite a bit louder than I had intended to.

"Have you ever had sex?" Her question was fired at me instantly without a second thought, as if she knew that's what she had wanted to ask all along. 

"No," I replied just as quickly. Peyton's eyes grew wide and she raised her eyebrows, a look of shock and disbelief on her face.

"Not even fooled around with a guy?"

"You used your question," I poked my tongue out at her. "It's my turn to ask now. Truth or dare?"

She pondered her options for a moment before settling on one. "Truth," she said.

"Have you ever had sex?" I asked her. The question rolled off my tongue effortlessly, as if I had been wanting to know the answer for longer than I had realised. She smirked at my question and I felt a strong blush creep to my already flushed face.

"With a guy or a girl?" she asked.

"Um...a guy I guess," I said. "What defines sex with a girl, anyway?"

"No, I haven't had sex with a guy. I realised I was gay long before I was sexually active," she answered simply. "And you used your question, but since I'm feeling nice, I'll answer your second one. I guess it's open to interpretation — some people consider oral as sex, some people don't. Some people only consider it sex if both people orgasm. I guess it's just what you feel in that moment, you know?"

I didn't expect her answer to be so...deep. We held each other's gaze for longer than necessary, and the alcohol coursing through me was urging me to reach out and hold her, to ask her if she would ever do that with me? 

"Anyway," she coughed awkwardly, breaking our eye contact and taking another swig from her glass. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth again," I decided.

"Had you ever kissed anyone? Before, you know...me?"

It was the first time either of us had acknowledged the kiss we had shared. I gulped loudly, swallowing the large amount of whiskey I had in my mouth. I was too wrapped up in the question she had asked to blanch at the disgusting taste.

"No..." I admitted. "You were the first."

"Oh..." she said, equally as quietly.

Silence enveloped the two of us, and for the first time in a long time, it was awkward. We sat in the uncomfortable quiet, occasionally taking sips of our alcohol and sharing fleeting eye contact. I shuffled in my chair uncomfortable and gulped once again, deciding to break the thick tension before it became unbearable.

"Your turn," I said. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth again," she mimicked my previous answer. I poked my tongue out at her in response as I pondered what to ask her.

"How many girls have you slept with?"

I didn't know why I was asking this, because in all honesty I wasn't sure that I wanted to know the answer. I knew that no matter what she told me I would be jealous. Jealous that she had touched other girls besides me.

"That depends on your definition of sex, I suppose," she said casually. "I fuck girls, they don't fuck me."

"What does that even mean?" I asked.

"It means I make them cum, but they don't touch me," she said simply.

That sounded...odd. Unfair even. I always assumed that the point of being with someone sexually was that you both got as much pleasure as each other. But that being said, my knowledge in sex only extended so far...

"They don't? Why not?" I asked curiously.

"I don't want them to."

"Why don't you want —" I began, but she interrupted me.

"Because I don't want them to."

The finality in her tone indicated she was done answering my questions on that topic. Her jaw clenched and I recognised that as a sign to stop while I was ahead. I didn't push it, nodding my head calmly. A mere few weeks ago she would've yelled at me to mind my own business, and the clench of her jaw would be followed by an outrage and a dramatic exit up the stairs. Her change in attitude towards me made me question once again whether she had feelings for me, whether she just wanted to get in my pants, or whether she was just pretending in order to make lockdown far more tolerable.

"Truth or dare?" she said, her agitated demeanour now gone, replaced with a playful tone.

"Dare."

The alcohol made me say it.

She looked at me in surprise, her eyebrows raised and her mouth slightly open. Her shocked expression didn't last, quickly being replaced with a cheeky smirk as she leant forward towards me. The close proximity of our bodies mixed with the alcohol coursing through my veins had me flushed and excited, no doubt reddening my cheeks. I bit my lip as I looked into her eyes, hoping that whatever look I was making was attractive enough to impress her.

"I dare you to ki —"

The alarm on the oven cut her off, and we both jumped apart. Peyton swore loudly as she smacked her elbow against the wooden table, and I quickly slid out of my seat and hurried to the kitchen to take the finished pizza out of the oven. My hands shook as I attempted to cut it into even slices, still extremely from what had just happened.

I grabbed two plates and took them and the pizza to the dining room table where Peyton still sat. She thanked me quietly, and then we ate in silence. The effects of the alcohol were still coursing through me as I devoured the pizza, hoping that the food would sober me up enough to properly decipher what had just happened between us.

Peyton finished first, standing up to take her plate to the kitchen. She appeared in the archway, leaning against the wall with her arms across her chest.

"I'm gonna go to bed," she said softly, her eyes locked on the ground between us.

She didn't wait for me to respond, instead turning and making her way towards the staircase. I abandoned my unfinished pizza and quickly stood up, my chair scraping against the floorboards as I did so. I caught up with her just as she reached the first stair and grabbed her wrist, pulling her around to face me.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked worriedly.

"No, you didn't," she replied, still refusing to meet my gaze.

"Are — are you sure?"

Peyton sighed, finally letting her eyes meet mine. She stepped forward and softly grabbed my shoulders, bringing her lips to my forehead and pressing them firmly against my skin.

"I promise," she murmured against me.

She stepped back, giving me a tight smile before turning around and walking up the stairs towards her room. I heard her call for Dennis at the top of the stairs and watched as he bounded up towards her. I heard her door close shortly after and I sighed in frustration.

The skin where her lips had kissed still felt hot and I brought my hand to it. What had caused such a dramatic shift in her behaviour? And had she been about to dare me to kiss her? I guess I would never know.

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AUTHORS NOTE
Shoutout to @Firewolf1998 for literally guessing this plot point in my last chapter! I hope you liked this one, I've been slowly trying to get some writing done while I'm in here! Let me know your thoughts! x