Sophie (One Week After the Breakup)

I've been laying in bed for I don't know how long. Could be days, or maybe just hours. My head keeps hurting every time I move, and my whole body gives out when I try to stand.

I don't have the stomach to eat a bite, regardless of how much my mom begs me to. She came home yesterday and has been on edge because of what happened between Logan and me.

Mrs. Michaelson had called the school and lied on my behalf, telling them I was ill. No one seemed to question her ever, so they simply let it be. Perks of being a well-respected member of this town.

Lexie has been coming daily to bring my work from school for me to do. It's still sitting on my desk, untouched, and unbothered.

Logan has sent me a few texts, but I can't bear to see them. I'm sure they are full of hateful words and menacing thoughts. My heart is too overwhelmed with everything. A part of me wishes it was just a bad dream. I keep hoping to wake up soon and see Logan next to me in bed. Hoping that he's holding me tight in his arms as he did every night.

I can't help but cry each time a memory of us being together comes to mind.

I miss him so much.

T has come by every day after school to try to talk to me. I just can't talk to him right now. So I keep avoiding opening the door for him.

Knock-knock

A faint knock disturbed my moping of misery. "Sophie, it's me, T. Please Sophie, talk to me. I'm sorry Soph. Please, I'll do anything, anything you want. Just, please, talk to me. Yell at me, punch me in the face as Logan did. I know I deserve it. Just say something to me, please?" His voice vibrated on the reverse side of my door.

I love T. He's my best friend after all. But- I had just lost the love of my life for trying to keep his secret.

What hurt me most is that he had the opportunity to come clean, to tell Logan the truth. Logan would have understood, I know he would. Things would have been clear that there has never been any type of attraction between T and me.

Yet, he decided to stay silent about it.

I know I made him a promise to never reveal his secret until he was ready to do so himself. But I never thought it would cost me so much.

"Please, Sophie. I know you're in there. Please open the door and talk to me." His voice sounded broken. He has probably cried a few tears himself, but I was indifferent to him at this moment.

I just wanted to be left alone. To drown in my sorrow until I couldn't anymore.

I wasn't sure how long that would be. But I do know I was not ready to talk to him yet.

Troy stood out there knocking on my door for a long time. I'm sure he was out there for a few hours since it started to get dark outside. When he finally left, he slid a note under my door and said goodbye.

"Sophie, I promise I'll fix this. I swear on my grandma, I will fix this. For you, for Logan, and Dylan. I'm sorry bestie. I love you. I'll be back tomorrow."

That's the last I heard from him.

Mom came in and ran her fingers through my hair a few minutes after T had left.

She knew I didn't want to talk to him. I had talked plenty on the phone with her when it had just happened over the phone. She would have come back immediately, but she had probably been so busy with all her appointments that I didn't want her feeling guilty and told her to stay.

"Sweetheart, don't you think you're being hard on him? You guys have been best friends since 8th grade. I know he has most fault for this breakup, but you can't allow yourself to lose both Logan and Troy. You need to get up and stand your ground baby. You need to show them that you can stand tall and brave despite this obstacle. I know it hurts. He was your first love, after all, but you have to go on baby. Show them how strong of a woman you are. Don't let anything see you defeated."

Her words and soft melodic voice only mounted to my torture. I turned to face her, hugging her around her waist and crying my eyes out. I just wanted to lean on her shoulders.

She was the best friend a girl could have. She was my biggest support and strongest rock that held me back from completely losing it.

I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost her.

"I don't know if I'm ready to face him right now mom. It still hurts so much. I love Logan, mom. I love him so much and I miss him." My voice quivered as I fought the pain in my throat and chest. I felt more than broken.

"I don't know if I can even begin to go on without him again," I added making mom's facial expression fill with pity.

"Well, you can start by eating something. Please baby. You have to eat at least a little, ok? You barely even touched breakfast. And I see you left lunch untouched. Mrs. Michaelson said you didn't eat much since I've been gone. Now, my baby girl needs to get up, take a nice hot shower, relax, and eat. I know it's hard baby, but tomorrow will be a new day, you can do this sweetheart, I know you can because you're strong, and you are so much braver than you give credit to yourself."

She smiled at me, cupping my face in her hands. She was right, a hot shower would do me good.

She kissed my forehead, pointing towards a new plate of food she had left on my counter, and stands on her feet taking the old plate with her as she exits my room.

I smiled at her weakly as she closes the door. I stood on my feet slowly trying not to stumble over.

I was very dizzy from the lack of nourishments. I slowly made my way to my restroom and started the shower. I had no strength in me. I took off my clothes, and underwear, allowing my bathroom to fill with steam from the shower. I slowly entered the shower, the water burning my skin at first, but soon the hot water was replaced with a soothing sensation as it began to ease my aching muscles.

The shower did well to me at first, that was until I remembered the last time Logan was in here. That's when it hit me hard again. I let my body slide down slowly against the shower wall and hugged my legs as I cried in there again until I could no longer shed any tears.

***********

Dylan

I came in a little early today to school. I was starting to think Troy was more selfish than I thought. It seemed he didn't care about me and Sophie as I thought. He cared more about what people would think of him if they found out he was gay.

But where does that leave me? Did he not care about me then? Was I simply just a fling for him to get his fantasy urge of experiencing being with another guy?

It was hard enough for me to move on from my last relationship. After my boyfriend had moved away, I found he was already talking to someone else in his new place. It hurt so much for me to let go of him.

I never thought I'd find someone new until I found Troy. I was so happy with him. I was instantly attracted to him, hoping he would notice me. It was the reason why I tried to befriend Lexie and Sophie first.

I figured if I had the approval of them, it would be easier to ask him out. That first kiss on the bench and in the alley is still longer in my mind. It's something I will never forget.

I made my way inside, clutching right onto the straps of my backpack.

"Logan, wait. Please, let me talk to you. I need to explain to you, please." my eyes averted to the other side of the hallway as I went into school. Logan was trying to walk away from Troy as he followed right behind.

Logan turned around, punching the locker right beside him, and looking at Troy angrily.

"I said fuck off Troy. I have nothing to talk to you about. Or what, you want to tell me you and Sophie have been going out behind my back since the beginning? Is that it? That's what you wanted right? To play me wrong and wait until I found out so you can laugh at me?"

"What? No. Logan please, that's not it."

"Then what, Troy? What can you possibly say to make me believe nothing is going on between the two of you?" Logan clenches his jaw, making his hands into tight fists.

"Logan there could never be anything between Sophie and me because -" Troy hesitated. Oh God, are my eyes deceiving me? Was T really going to tell Logan he's gay?

"What, T? I don't have all day," Logan yells at T.

"Because I'm gay, ok? I don't like girls." My eyes widened as I heard T confess to Logan. I know it was hard for him to come out and say it. But I couldn't believe my ears. He came clean to Logan and told him.

Logan chuckled out loud and nodded his head, hanging his head low.

"You really think I'm stupid, don't you? You expect me to believe your bull? Screw you, T. You got what you wanted, I'm out of the picture. You and Sophie can be together now." Logan sneered at T and turned on his heel, walking away from Troy.

"Logan I'm serious. I'm telling you the truth. Logan?" T yells out after Logan as he walks away.

My heart hurt for him. It really did. I know he tried, but it was going to take more to mend this situation and make Logan believe him.

I walked towards him, standing next to him as he sighed, holding back tears.

"Fucking hell." He utters out in a whisper.

"Well that didn't work out as planned now did it?" I said startling him.

"No. No, it didn't. Dylan, I'm sorry. I owe you and everyone a huge apology. The thing is, I don't know how to fix this. What am I going to do? I promised Sophie I'd fix this, but Logan doesn't want to believe me. What am I going to do?" He says looking at me.

It was still pretty early in the day. Botany students were here yet. The hallway was empty so I took advantage of it, pulling T by his waist and pecking his lips.

T gasped, hitting my chest slightly, looking around everywhere. "Dylan, don't."

"You said you want to fix things. Does that mean you don't want us to work anymore?"

"Of course I do. I miss you, Dylan." He says looking down.

"Then what? You want me to remain a secret, after all, that's happened? How do you plan on fixing things for them if you can't even fix things between us?" I say angrily and walk away.

I guess he will just have to figure this out on his own. Because until he can give me my place in this relationship out behind closed doors, I was not going to forgive him either.

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