A news paper wanted to do an interview with me. Or a news station. I was too shocked to know what to say. I started to say no, but remembered the ignorance of some people. Some people only saw Lucy as a disabled child. She was instantly categorised as stupid and forgotten. I hated that. People needed to be reminded that she was a person. A child. She had a soul. She had a personality. She was my beautiful little girl.

So I agreed, hoping I wouldn't regret it. I wasn't camera shy, but I didn't exactly like being the centre of attention. I'll do this for Lucy, and other people with kids like her. Agreeing, I promised to contact them about a good time for the interview. I would have to check with Nick about doing it at home. The nurses were all excited, buzzing with energy.

"We'll definitely be watching" was what everyone was saying. I knew they would be, too. They were supportive that way. It was something I had missed, living out of the hospital again. The people. Here, I was constantly around people. Constantly being watched and supported. The nurses were like a family to me. I had been invited to birthday parties for their kids, and they had been to both of Lucy's party's.

Settling back in was easy, like coming home. I preferred, however, being out. Being with Nick in the unit. Going on walks with Walker and Moose. Glancing at Lucy, I realised she preferred being out too. She had loved seeing all her friends-nurses- again, but was in a worse mood. Like she was cramped.

"I know how you feel baby, we'll be back out in a couple days" settling her down for the night, I tried to figure out what to do with myself. I couldn't go out or anything, in case Lucy woke. Not that I would really wanted to go out. I had not been away for Lucy since she was born, and I didn't plan on starting any time soon. Except I would have to when she started going into respite care once a fortnight.

Pushing the thoughts from my head, I sighed and sat. I missed Nick, as weird as it sounded. Usually, I would be watching a movie with him on the couch. My eyes flicked to the T.V hanging from the roof, and I shook my head. I didn't feel like sitting here and watching crappy shows. Back in hospital for a few hours and I was already getting cabin fever. I just wanted to do something.

Calling Marie was the only thing I could think of, begging her to come play with me. She told me she would grab some food and bring her laptop.

"We'll have a movie night. Mind if I sleep over?" I laughed, quickly checking with the nurses on night shift and agreeing. It was all nurses I knew, and they were used to Marie coming over. She had slept over many times, especially when things were really bad. She was my rock, always there when I needed her.

~~~

The first movie was slow to start, but got pretty good in the end. I had to stop for a few minutes to suction Lucy, but was able to sit for the rest of it. We watched a romance after that, easily slipping into the movie. I used to be a romantic, until I got left with a baby before I was even twenty. As soon as my boyfriend found out I was pregnant to him, he dropped me and stayed as far away as possible.

I didn't mind, eventually. It was hard, barely an adult and about to be a mother, then being rejected by my mother because of it. Without Marie, I didn't know what I would have done. Especially when I had doctors telling me that my perfect, little girl might not survive the weekend. So many times I had been ready to give up, and she had given me the strength every time.

"I love you. You know that right?" Movie forgotten, I focused on Marie. She smiled, a sad smile. She knew what I was thinking about.

"I know. Ditto. But don't tell Ayden, he might call off the engagement if he knew my heart belongs to another" the cheeky grin said everything, Marie throwing an arm around me. The movie became the focus again, plenty of on screen kissing and all that crap. I didn't voice my complaints, momentarily imagining it as Nick and me.

Yanking that thought away as fast as possible, I felt guilt fill me. I shouldn't be thinking about him like that. He was barely my friend. He was my best friend's brother. That was the biggest sin between best friends, screwing the brother. Even if I wanted to. Flushing, I tried to push of from my mind. I was failing so far, only able to see him in jeans and bare chested. Bare feet. Mussed hair. Or when he fell asleep on my lap.

"That was a fun movie, maybe something with some blood next" Marie got off the bed, going through the stack of movies she had brought with her. I just nodded, quickly checking on Lucy. She was due for medications soon, and would need to have a feed through her naso-gastric tube. It usually only got used for her medications, and her PEG would be used for her feeds.

She had, however, not handled much milk before bed and would get hungry soon. So I thought it would be better to just give her a slow pump feed over night, to get her through. She didn't even stir, letting out a gentle hum every now and again. Her oxygen hissed, a comforting sound. Kissing her on the cheek, I left her to sleep. She would be due to pressure cares in a few hours, but could be left alone until then.

Settling back down on the small bed, we watched one more movie before crashing. The squeeze was tight, but we didn't care. I had shared a tiny hospital bed with her loads of times. Sleep came easily, soon swallowing me.