Dinner was weird. That was the only way I could explain it. Nick seemed to withdraw into himself, as if he didn't want to get involved. The softness I had seen with Lucy wasn't gone, just hidden. Marie appeared, as if summoned.

"Speak of the devil and the devil shall appear" hearing Nick's joke, I turned to find Marie entering the kitchen.

"All good things I hope. You guys must have finally met each other. Jess was telling me about how you were always missing each other" Nick laughed, a dark laugh.

"Yes. We met. It would have been useful to know she was a chick" I felt like I was being ignored, so I focused on Lucy and my dinner.

"No offence, Jess" startled that I had actually been acknowledged, I glanced up at Nick. Giving a soft smile, I returned my attention to my food. Lucy was being unusually good, letting me eat. Meal time was usually her favourite time to misbehave.

"I may have forgotten to mention it. Oh well. It's still a great set up. I mean, they've barely been here" Marie sat, drawing my attention- once again- to how big Nick was. He was massive. Marie had mentioned her brother was tall, but said nothing about how tall he was. Or how hot he was. Then again, a sister wouldn't notice that.

"Where have you guys been? Out of curiosity?" Nick sat as well, in the only chair available. Right beside me. He was too wide to really conform to the small space, leaving us pressed together slightly. Lucy was on my other side, preventing me just casually shifting away.

"Hospital. We're doing a graduated discharge. Almost finished. We're due to go back in a couple days, and should be out for good after that- unless Lucy gets sick" I ran a hand over Lucy's hair, smiling at the soft ringlets. Glancing back at Nick, I found his gaze on my face. It was intense, relaxing as soon as he saw me looking.

"How long have you guys been in hospital for?" He took a bite of his food, leftovers from when Marie had brought dinner over, and watched me.

"Lucy got sick at about three months old. I took her in, and we never left. We're just getting out now" grinning, I forked some more food into my mouth. Nick looked upset, as if it bothered him to hear that we spent so long in hospital. I could think of worse fates.

Little George's face danced behind my eyes, reminding me just how lucky I was. He never made it out. Bobbie left alone, without her baby. I had often wondered how she was, wishing I had gotten her number or something. It had been 6 months since I heard her screaming from her room, not needing to be told why she was crying like that. A mother only made that type of sound for one reason. I saw her briefly before she left the hospital, so broken and empty that I had only been able to hug her tightly.

"I'm glad you're getting out now- wait. Jessica? You were living with Marie a couple years ago?" I laughed, pushing George and Bobbie my mind. I noted that his little realisation was long coming, grinning.

"Of course, jack ass" Marie smacked her brother in the shoulder, shaking her head.

"It's a wonder you can function" she ran before Nick could get his hands on her, quickly slipping away. Lucy started jumping, waving her hands in excitement. I could only laugh, content to watch Nick chase after his little sister.

~~~

Hours later, Lucy was due to go down for a sleep. Nick had retracted back into himself, almost like he was avoiding me. I gave Lucy her night medications and took her out of her chair. She had had her feed, through the PEG tube in her stomach, and wouldn't need another feed until three in the morning. I could do that one through the naso-gastric tube in her nose, so I wouldn't have to wake her.

She was asleep before I laid her in the cot, breathing softly. I could hear a slight hitch, telling me that she needed suctioning. Grabbing a catheter, I quickly cleared her airways and binned the used catheter. She didn't wake, only making annoyed sounds in the back of her throat. I laughed, stroking her hair. Bending over to kiss her, I turned her monitor on and grabbed my own.

Checking that my end was muted, I left the door open a crack and left the room with some clothes. Passing Nick in the hallway, which was a little awkward, I smiled and slid into the bathroom. Balancing the baby monitor on the towel rack, I made sure I could see her as I showered.

Taking the rare opportunity, I washed my hair thoroughly and scrubbed at any dead skin I could find. Feeling somewhat human again, I got out of the shower. Bending over, I let my dripping hair hang while I dried my body. Once I was satisfied, I wrapped the towel around my head and proceeded to pull the tank top and flannelette bottoms on.

Roughly towelling my hair, I tried to dry it as much as possible. Making sure the floor was dry, I left the bathroom and put the towel in the laundry basket in my room. I brushed my hair, reflecting on the little routines I had established since being out of he hospital.

It was so easy to switch back into our old routines at the hospital, but had been difficult to develop new ones outside. Most of our things were here now, making it feel like home. Smiling to myself, I left my damp hair loose and went in search for some sugar. I knew I got some chocolate when I picked up some groceries with Lucy, having left it in the freezer.

Taking the monitor with me, clipped onto the waist band of my pants, I left the door open a crack and snuck down the hallway. It wasn't late yet, but I didn't want to wake Lucy. I was also unsure of what time Nick had to be at work. He seemed to be working during the day recently.

I didn't consider the fact that I was braless until I was caught eating chocolate, by Nick. He chuckled, having found me in the corner of the kitchen with a block of chocolate. He reached passed me, not even having to stretch, and pulled a bag of chips from the cabinet. He smelt good. Really good.

Shaking my head, I offered him some chocolate. He grinned wickedly, breaking a couple pieces off. He was standing close to me, pointing out that my head only reached his chest. I had to tilt my head backwards just to look at his face.

"I'm watching a movie, if you wanna join" with that, he pulled out a couple cans of pepsi before going around the corner. I hesitated, worried about being away from Lucy. Checking the monitors screen, I found her sleeping peacefully still. Unable to resist, I crept back into the room and checked on her. Sound asleep. I'm just being paranoid.

Biting my lip, I decided to go watch the movie. It was still early, so I had a few hours to pass. Slowly, I went into the lounge room and joined Nick on the couch. He pressed play, as if he knew I would come, and handed me a can. We sat, eating the chips and chocolate, watching movie. It felt weird to be doing something different, something for me.

I was looking at the baby monitor screen almost as much as the actual movie, but I still enjoyed it. Lucy didn't stir, happy to sleep. I could get used to this.