13 - Let's Take It To The Next Level  

It wasn't until the next morning that I realized to my horror that we didn't use protection. A pregnancy was the last thing I needed. I was calculating feverishly in the kitchen how many days it had been since my last period when Brent strolled in with a cheerful smile, seemingly in the best of moods.

"Good morning, honey." He glanced at the calendar. "What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to determine my cycle." I sighed. "We forgot to use a condom last night."

He poured himself a glass of orange juice. "That wasn't an oversight. I thought it was time to take our relationship to the next level and have a child."

My eyes went wide like saucers. "Are you out of your mind? I'm sixteen and still in high school."

"So?" He regarded me calmly. "It's much healthier to have babies at a young age. I want to have at least four kids and ready to start a family."

I thought his idea was ridiculous.

"You should have discussed this with me first. I'm not ready to be a mother. How will I ever be able to juggle school and have a baby?"

He shrugged. "Until you give birth, you're likely already in your senior year and no one will blame you if you'd take a year off. You can always get your GED part time."

"What about college?" I asked dumfoundedly, not comprehending how he could be so unreasonable.

He laughed. "What do you need college for? We'll be married and I'll earn enough money for you to stay home and raise the kids. I don't expect you to work."

The thought of just staying at home and doing mundane housework all day had never appealed to me. "Did it ever occur to you that I want to get a degree and work? I want to do something important with my life."

"Don't be silly." he scolded, his tone becoming more agitated and his eyes already three shades darker. "There's nothing more important than to reproduce, after all, that's why God put women on this earth. Besides, getting an education is something new. If you lived a hundred years ago, you'd be long married with a couple of kids. It's the natural way."

His face was such that I knew there would be no more reasoning with him. Secretly, I decided to go to the doctor as soon as possible to get me birth control pills to sabotage his plan. There was no way that I would have a child before I was ready.

When I was in the store that day, I pondered if I should get one of those ovulation tests to dodge the bullet this month but Brent had started to check my grocery receipts since I bought a couple of magazines he found wasteful and would probably freak out when he saw it. I had no money of my own to afford the $16, yet, I secretly kept a couple of dollars to the side in the hopes he wouldn't notice so I could at least get the birth control pills eventually.

He wanted sex that night but I pretended I wasn't feeling well and he gave in. The next morning, I went to my OB/GYN who was surprised to see me.

"If you want a prescription, I need the consent of your father, Rena."

I blushed under her questioning eyes, embarrassed that she had learned that I was already sexually active at my age.

"I'm emancipated." I showed her the court order.

She was satisfied.

When she handed me back the paper, I asked meekly: "How much does those cost?"

She studied me. "What's going on, Rena? Are you struggling for money?"

I couldn't hold her gaze. "My boyfriend has money but I don't really want to ask him."

She took my hand just as tears began to pool in my eyes. "Is your boyfriend coercing you into having sex with him without protection?"

I didn't reply but my silent sob must have been answer enough. She squeezed my hand. "I tell you what. I have samples here from pharmaceutical companies and you can have one." She walked over to her medical cabinet and opened a drawer, handing me a pack of pills. "And if you still don't have any money next month, come back."

I nodded. "Thank you so much." I raised my head, my face streaked with tears. "I really love him but we just disagree on this point and I don't want to upset him."

She smiled at me with sympathy. "It can be a confusing time being in a relationship at your age. Is he much older?"

I shook my head. "No, but he has always wanted to have his own family."

Her frown told me that she disapproved.

"You know there are counselors for those types of things if you ever need to talk to anyone" – she said – "and then there is always your father."

A painful cry escaped my mouth. "My dad and I aren't speaking. He hates me."

She pulled me against her shoulder and rubbed my back while I wept. "I'm sure your father doesn't hate you, Rena. You'll see, things will work out but you might need to take the first step which I imagine can be difficult."

I knew she was right and it was stupid of me not to confess to my father that I made a rash decision to move in with Brent. My stubbornness got the better of me and I was not prepared to admit my mistake – he would have gloated with an 'I told you so' expression.

When I got home that afternoon, I figured out that I had to wait until my next period before I could start on the birth control pills. Now I just needed to get through the next two weeks. To make sure Brent wouldn't find out about my devious rebellion, I hid the pack with the pills in my sock drawer, stuck into my aerobic tights. I was sure he wouldn't check there.

That night, after dinner, he wanted some action and he was not prepared to take 'no' for an answer when I told him I had a bad headache.

He lowered his pants. "OK," he challenged. "Then you will do it with your mouth."

I glared at him with disgust. "You know how much I hate that. I will throw up."

He smirked with a malicious spark in his eyes. "I don't care," he hissed softly, his undertone managing to scare the shit out of me. "I won't take another cold shower tonight. You're my woman and required to fulfill your duties. Take your pick on how you want to do that."

I had to choose between two evils and against my better judgment, decided on the more pleasurable one. For the next couple of weeks, he didn't ease up. It was now a sadistic game for him to release his building tension. I could see the mocking amusement in his eyes when he gave me the same choice over and over again, every single night to prove to me who was in control.

It didn't matter anymore if he was actually in the mood or not, all he wanted was to beat me into submission. I was terrified, not only to get pregnant, but also about what could happen if I didn't comply. I became more and more intimidated, getting sick to my stomach whenever I thought about the evenings ahead of me.

By the time, my period was scheduled to start, I was a nervous wreck, running to the bathroom almost every hour and praying that I was spared this new disaster. With every new day, my anxiety grew. I googled on the internet for early signs of pregnancy but luckily, didn't display any symptoms. There were also reasons listed why the monthly event could be delayed and I tried to convince myself that it was just the stress. In the meanwhile, I had to sit it out since the article also recommended to wait for two weeks before taking a home pregnancy test.

This time, it was me who was tense and snappy and a few times, Brent teased me that he should better watch out not to get a beating. Like I was seriously a match for him with my a hundred twenty pounds soaking wet! He could have easily overpowered me without any effort.

I couldn't concentrate in school and even got detention one afternoon for mouthing off to a teacher. I rushed home to get everything ready for dinner but Brent was already there. I knew something was wrong as soon as I stepped inside the bedroom. He was sitting on the bed, his eyes reminding me of a dark slate rock.

"What is this?" he asked calmly, holding up the birth control pills.

I knew I had lost but not ready to admit defeat. "You went through my stuff?" I accused him, at least trying to point out how wrong it was for him to invade my privacy.

"I bought gym equipment and tried to surprise you by getting your outfit together," he justified. "But that doesn't matter now. I want to know what this is."

I huffed to hide my guilt. "You can read. It's a contraceptive."

He slowly got up. "I told you I wanted a child."

"Well, I don't." It was stupid, I should have just admitted how wrong I was.

He took a step forward and I noticed his mounting anger. In terror, I edged backwards.

"It is not about what you want!" he yelled. "You will obey by my rules!"

My back hit the wall, there was nowhere to run or hide. "I-I'm sorry, Brent," I stuttered. "I swear I won't take the pills."

I felt hot pee running down my legs. My God, he was going to kill me.

He came closer, his lips slightly twitching. "You should have thought about that before you went behind my back."

That's when the tears began to role in a desperate attempt for mercy. "I know and I'm so sorry. Please forgive me."

He was now only inches away from my face. "You know you were bad and need to be punished." His voice was soft again – it was the quiet before the storm.

I nodded automatically, trying to calm his rage by being agreeable.

He dropped his pants. "Take me," he demanded.

"Brent, please." I gazed at him under wet eyelashes, my lip quivering.

His face hardened. "I said take me."

The deadly fear was no match to my reservations. I did what he asked – gagging while my whole body jerked with disgust as I was forced to do the deed. When he filled my mouth, I tried to pull away, but he held my head firmly in place and I had to swallow. My stomach revolted in response and I tasted bile in my mouth.

"Go ahead and throw up," he said, loosening his grip, his eyes glowing with absolute satisfaction over my humiliation. "And then come back."

I leaped forward, my hand clutched over my mouth to keep the vomit in until I was able to reach the toilet. My stomach heaved over and over again and when I was finally finished, my cheek came to rest against the cold bathroom tiles. My whole body was shaking with fright and disgust while I calmed my ragged breath.

"I told you to come back," came Brent's cold voice from the doorway.

I looked up at him, still dizzy. "I was just going to," I croaked with incredible hoarseness. My throat was on fire, the foul taste in my mouth making me sick again.

He didn't believe me. His kick was directed in the general direction of my upper torso but hit me straight in the middle of my stomach. I cried out, doubling over, my face instinctively cradling into the crooks of my arms. The rest of my trembling body was fully exposed.

As he kicked me again and again, pain waves shot through me, my screams mixing with his constant shouts.

"This is your fault. This is your fault."

After a while, I couldn't hold on to my head, my whole body throbbing in total agony. A hard blow to my face finished me off. As blood flooded my mouth, the room began to spin – first slow, then faster and faster. My piercing scream was the last thing I heard before sinking into total darkness.

OK - deep breath. I know this was a rough ending with a lot of build up before so just asking for general reader feedback here. Was it tough to read and still manageable?

Thanks for reading and please comment as you see fit. Voting would still be appreciated if this chapter deserved it.