29. Arya

Alex already has his phone pressed to his ear when he's running from the apartment. He doesn't wait for my answer because he already knows it. Yes. This is the biggest opportunity I will ever get considering that I got kicked out of college and want to work in the arts. Opportunities like these don't come by easy. I know what I have to do. I know that I have to go... Even if it means leaving Seth behind to deal with his family on his own. Even if it means potentially falling in love with a strange city and not wanting to come back to my old life. I would have to take that risk. I will take that risk.

"Hey, you okay, babe? Did he not like it? He just ran out the front door like someone running from the cops." Seth appears out of thin air beside me, sitting down on the bed next to me.

"Hmm..." I hum, staring straight ahead. As Seth strokes my back, a thousand thoughts clutter my mind.

"You're scaring me. What's going on?"

What's going on? I'm abandoning you to deal with your awful family on your own to pursue my own career selfishly. I haven't even talked to you about it yet I've already made up my mind. We'll be apart once again.

"I'm going to New York." The words come out of my mouth before the thought of easing him into the meaning behind them has even crossed my mind.

Seth stiffens beside me but he stays calm.

"When?" That's all he manages to ask, his voice strong and steady.

"Tonight," I say in a monotone voice, still staring straight ahead. Seth's hand on my back is comforting and I'm surprised it's still there. It moves slowly against the fabric of my shirt up and down my spine.

"For how long?" He scoots in front of me and forces me to make eye-contact with him by taking hold of both sides of my face.

"Just until the 23rd. I'll be back for Christmas."

"That's good." He sighs, nodding his head. His exterior clearly eases and he rests his hands on my thighs, sitting back slightly.

"You're okay with this?" I search for rebellion in his eyes but find none.

"You've already made up your mind. I don't want to fight you," he pauses. "Yes, I'm okay with this." He runs his fingers through my hair and then rests his hand on my shoulder.

"Good." I take a deep breath.

"You should start packing."

"I should."

**
As I am chucking random clothes into a bag, I decide to call Sam. Seth has locked himself in the bathroom and I'm desperate to talk to someone else about this. Also I still need a ride to the airport. Alex hadn't said anything about getting me a taxi or a driver and I have a feeling that Seth wouldn't be too happy about dropping me off. I pick up my phone and dial Sam's number. He picks up after two rings.

"Everything okay over there? My apartment still the same as I left it?" I hear someone talking in the background. A girl.

"Guess what!" I ignore his question, too excited to pay attention to his teasing. "No, wait, don't guess. I'll tell you! Your cousin is going to New York to become a superstar in the world of art!"

"No way! I have another cousin? Who is he and why have you never told me about him?" I snort and roll my eyes although he can't see that. The girl in the background chuckles and now I am curious. If he gets to tease me, I get to tease him!

"Say hello to your girlfriend from me." Sam stops laughing on the other line. "Why are you hiding her from me? I want to meet her!"

"Too bad. You're going to New York", Sam chuckles and I just shake my head, grinning. "Congratulations, by the way. That's huge. I'm very happy for you."

"And you're especially happy because you'll get your apartment back, huh?"

"Do I? Get it back, I mean? What about Smith? Is he coming with you or is he staying at mine?" I hadn't thought about that. Seth wouldn't be going back to his family's home and I don't think Sam will give up his bed for him if I'm not here. A hotel is too expensive. The couch would have to suffice.

"Um, would you let him crash on your couch for a couple more days? I won't be gone for long and once I get my first paycheck, I'll start looking for a full time job and place to live," I explain, hoping Sam will be okay with this. I've been piggy-backing off him for too long. It's time I make it on my own.

"Sure, whatever, but I want my bed back... and he'll do the grocery shopping."

"Sounds good, thanks. I'm leaving tonight and I'll be back on the 23rd. I was going to ask if you wanted to spend the 24th with me and then do presents the next day but I'm guessing your girlfriend might have something to say about that." I'm slightly bummed that I might not be spending Christmas with anyone but the excitement of going to New York makes up for it.

"I mean, we were planning to just chill at her place but we can do something together if you want. That could be fun," a harsh whisper in the back tells me that someone wouldn't use the word "fun" to describe Christmas with the boyfriends cousin. Oh well. I can't blame her either. She doesn't know me yet.

"Don't be silly. Spend time with her. I'll find something to do! Don't worry about me," I force a smile, trying to convince myself that I'm not hurt by this. "Anyway, I better keep packing. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Wait, Arya." He stays quiet for a while but I hear him walking and then a door shuts. "You do realize that they would be so proud of you, right? This is an absolutely amazing opportunity. They're watching over you every single step of the way. You have so many guardian angels up there for you, there's no way anything can go wrong. And you have me down here to protect you as well, understand? I love you."

"I love you, too." I hang up the phone and chuck it onto the bed. Just as it hits the mattress, it starts buzzing again. I run my hands over my face and try to a deep breath. My chest feels restricted, making it extremely hard to breathe. Sam and I rarely talk about our parents. I try to think of them as little as possible. Thinking of them is painful. It makes it real. So instead of spiraling down, I take my phone and check the message that just came in. It's Alex sending me the necessary details for tonight. My flight leaves in four hours. He tells me to get a taxi if nobody else can drive me. It's on him, of course.

I finish packing, trying not to think too much about what's about to happen. It's too scary to think about. Going to a place I've never been before on my own. That just sounds like anxiety waiting to swallow me up whole. But I have Alex there, I remind myself every time I get too close to panic.

Seth enters the room, hair wet and only a towel wrapped around his hips. He looks around the room before his eyes meet mine.

"All packed?"

I just nod quietly, biting my bottom lip.

"I decided something," finally there's a hint of something other than indifference in his voice as he steps towards me. He opens his arms for me to step into and I gladly accept his invitation.
"What's that?" I ask as I nuzzle my face against his chest.

"I love you and I don't want you to leave but I'll let you go. Until the 23rd and not a day longer, you hear me?" He kisses the top of my head. "I fucking hate being away from you. I lose myself when you're gone and I don't care how messed up that sounds, Arya."

I hug myself closer to him until I feel his heart beat in his chest. I place a kiss just above his heart and look up at him through my lashes. I want to say something but he kisses me so I let him, enjoying every second of it. The way he tilts my head back and the way he nibbles at my lower lip so sensually that it almost drives me insane. I let him kiss me until he pulls away breathlessly.

"Will you let me drive you to the airport?"

"Yes. But don't let go of me yet." Seth chuckles and wraps his arms tighter around me.

We stay like this for a few more seconds before Seth lets go off me. While he gets dressed, I gather all my things and carry my bag to the front door.

The drive to the airport is silent but not awkward. Seth holds my hand all the way there, only letting go to change gears. He occasionally glances over at me. Sometimes our eyes meet; sometimes I am so lost in thought that I only notice him looking when the car starts swerving the slightest bit. The thought that I will be on another coast in less than a day is occupying my mind relentlessly. I try not to worry too much as I know Alex has probably already arranged for a driver to pick me up from the airport and a hotel room for me to sleep in. I also try not to think about the fact that he's spending a fortune on me... on someone he barely knows. It seems... unrealistic.

It's a calculated investment, I tell myself whenever the doubt gets too strong.

Finally we arrive at the airport. Seth insists on carrying my bag and I don't decline. Let him be a gentleman if he wants to be. It's a lot better than the alternative. Checked-in and my luggage on its way onto the plane, we decide to get dinner at one of the fast food restaurants.

"Go have a seat, I'll get our food." Seth pecks my lips before disappearing at the front of the fast food place.

I choose a table at the back and pull out my phone. I read over Alex's text again before googling New York City and flipping through countless pictures of the city. I can't wipe the smile off my face as I stop on a picture of Times Square. I'm practically squealing!

A group of people entering the restaurant and sitting close by me get my attention. They all look like they're between the ages of fourteen to sixteen. I try to refocus on my phone but the fact that they're so close by and talking as though no one else is around makes me curious. Pretending to type on my phone, I occasionally glance over to them. There are three boys and two girls and I can't help but wonder where their guardians are. Traveling alone at that age seems a bit dangerous. Especially taking into consideration that they look like the stereotypical teen misfits. I don't want to judge them but can't help it as I watch one of the girls laugh hysterically at one of the boys who's gesturing wildly whilst telling a probably sexist or homophobic joke.

Seth blocks my vision as he appears in front of me. He places a tray of food on the table and sits down across from me. Following my gaze, he turns around to look at the group. To my dismay, two of the young girls have now turned their heads towards us. As soon as Seth turns, they put their heads together and start whispering.

"I didn't know what you wanted to drink so I just got water."

"Only you would get water at..." But I couldn't finish my sentence as the girls a couple tables next to ours start laughing.

"What is it," Seth asks, turning to look behind him again.

"Don't look. You'll just provoke it." I take a cheeseburger of the tray and unwrap it, trying to divert his attention. Seth does the same and for a second, I think they have found something else to occupy their minds with but when I take a bite of my burger, the irritating giggling can't be ignored.

"What's going on?" Seth furrows his brow at me, lowering his burger back onto the tray.

"Nothing. Just ignore them. I'll try to as well." Of course I know exactly what's going on.

If you've ever walked past a group of teenagers and felt scared, no matter if they are younger than you or not, you'll probably know what I'm talking about. There's this specific breed of awfully harsh kids that tend to pick on your biggest insecurity without knowing you. Then if you confront them, they act like innocence itself. Rotten beasts.

"It's not nothing. Are they bothering you?" Seth pushes his chair back and is about to get up when I stop him.

"Don't. Don't make a scene, please. It's really nothing. They're kids. They don't know any better," I defend.

"Bullshit," Seth snaps.

My hand on his wrist is quickly shaken off and he is striding towards the group. The two girls in particular look stunned but the boys are trying to look tough as Seth approaches them. One of them even gets out of his seat, a faux tough expression on his face. I almost snort as he barely reaches Seth's shoulder but squares his shoulders, causing him to look more like a toad than someone even the least bit threatening.

Seth looks down at him and I watch in anticipation. Then with one push against the kids shoulder, the kid is back in his seat and I have to slap my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing at his stunned expression. Seth crosses his arms in front of his chest and I know exactly what they must be feeling. If anyone knows Seth's wrath, it's me.

I shudder at the thought but try to focus on what Seth is saying.

"You think you're funny," he addresses the group.

The girls start giggling again and the boys sit back, eyeing Seth with defiant glares.

"Calm down, man. You on roids or something?" The kid that was just pushed back into his seat decides to speak up now and I know that that was a mistake before he does.

"Have some damn respect," Seth snaps and takes the kid by the collar, lifting him out of his seat. "You'll shut the fuck up now. If I hear you talking shit, any of you, I'll come back over here and make sure you'll regret ever having walked into this joint."

I take this as my cue to get up and calm him down. The last thing I need to happen is Seth beating up some teenagers. But before I can start walking, he has already let go of the kid.

"Got it?!"

They all just nod stiffly and then turn away from him.

When Seth comes walking back to our table, a manager of the restaurant approaches us. Seth smiles kindly and sits back down. He takes my hand in his and looks up at the manager, radiating innocence.

"Is everything alright over here?" The question is careful as to not accuse anyone.

"Now it is but keep an eye on those kids. They're disturbing our peace." Once again I have to stop myself from laughing. You could get chemical poisoning from all the artificial sweetness Seth is spouting.

"Of course. Enjoy your meal." The manager disappears and I let out the laugh I've been holding in. Seth gives me a strange look and I can't help but glance over at the group of teens now. They are trying their hardest not to look over here and that just makes me laugh harder.

"Why are you laughing," Seth asks, chuckling himself. I shake my head and calm down to a giggle. Seth leans back in his seat and pops a fry into his mouth. As he chews slowly, he eyes me seriously. Obviously he can't see the humor in this situation. "Seriously, babe, that's not funny. They were probably talking shit. I can't stand that."

My own smile falters and I take a second to respond but when I do, I try my hardest not to lace my own voice with too much bitterness.

"I know they were talking shit. I know exactly what they were saying, too." I take a sip of my water and check the time on my phone as though to pass time. "First they just saw me on my own. Fat girl at a fast food restaurant is always an easy target. Oh, but then you got here and all of a sudden their worlds come crumbling around them. Everything they've been taught is being challenged."

I roll my eyes involuntarily and try to reign in the bitterness that has managed to consume me without my consent. "So they were most likely joking about how I, desperate fat girl, landed you, attractive athlete. They're just kids, though. I'm used to it. They'll learn eventually."

"I'm not so sure," Seth mutters moodily.

"Well you sure as heck just scared them enough to be quiet for now. Maybe next time they'll think twice before making fun of someone. Although that one kid looked dangerously close to bursting into tears. You might have gone a bit too far." Seth shakes his head at that and glares at me.

"He deserved that. Stupid fuckers. You shouldn't make excuses for them."

"I made them for you." I sigh and continue eating, not daring to look up at Seth. It was the truth. I constantly made excuses for him when I first met him. I didn't want to see him as the pure evil he displayed towards me. I wanted to believe that there was good in him so every single time he called me a name or made me feel miserable, I made up an excuse for him. Only much later he started actually apologizing. I have the same hope for these kids.

"You did?"

I swallow a mouthful of food and when I look up, Seth looks thoroughly confused. I simply nod, not willing to go into this. Every time I think of that time, an unsettling anxiety starts to infiltrate my body without mercy.

"I thought you hated me from the very first moment you met me. I thought you were out to get me, walk all over me." The corner of his mouth pulls into a half-smile. "I don't even know why but I thought it was your mission to piss me off."

"I did hate you... sort of." Seth stiffens but I continue nonetheless. "You know I don't blame you for this now but back then I was scared to go to school because of you. Not because I was scared you would hurt me but because I was scared I couldn't keep up the tough act forever. I didn't want you to walk all over me."

"I know," Seth mutters. "Then why did you make excuses for me? Obviously I didn't give you any reason."

"Because that's just the person that I am. Stupid," I conclude. "No matter how awful you were, I kept trying to turn you into someone inherently good. Even when I thought I'd given up on you, I could never stop thinking about you. You had burned yourself into my mind. People don't choose who to fall in love with and it just so happens that I-"

I am interrupted by my phone. The screen lights up with Alex's name. I immediately pick up the device and answer the call, pressing the phone to my ear.

"Are you at the airport", Alex asks before I can speak.

"Hi, I am. I'm just having dinner with Seth," I say with a grin. "Thanks again."

"Listen, I'm at the gate right now, okay? I know there's still some time until the plane takes off but I need to discuss a few things with you so I would like you to come join me. It should take about half an hour to finish dinner and get through security so I will be expecting you then, okay?" The other line crackles and then it's silent. The thought that Alex would be on the same plane as me hadn't even crossed my mind. Although it does make sense. Of course. He has to get to New York somehow. Why not travel together? I feel stupid now that I didn't think of that.

"That was Alex. He wants me to meet him in half an hour." I finish my drink and put the empty cup onto the tray.

Seth and I make our way towards the security check and when we get there, I feel dread choking me up.

"I'll miss you," I whisper, hugging Seth.

"You won't be gone for long. Time will fly and soon enough we'll be exchanging Christmas gifts, right?" He smiles down at me and lowers his lips to mine for a short but sweet kiss.

"I can't wait."

"I'll see you in a couple of days." I can see in Seth's eyes that he's trying to hide his emotions as he pulls away from me. I keep our hands clutched together tightly. For some reason this does not just feel like a 'see you later' and so much more like a 'goodbye'. I can't quite put my finger on why but as I turn my back on Seth and walk towards security, I have to glance back once more to get a last good look at his face to remember him by. He lifts his hand and waves before crossing