20. Seth

If I've ever felt hopelessly and aimlessly alone in my life, these past two weeks put those emotions to shame. I never knew you could feel so incredibly lonely and miss someone so much when they're still with you. It's agonizing and frustrating and I never in my life would have thought that I was capable of feeling like this.

Arya is on campus for another week but I know she has already checked out emotionally. I've been away for a couple of days for an away game and every hour that passed without her felt like hell. No words could do that sort of pain justice. There are no words to describe what this feels like.

My phone rings in my pocket when I climb out of the bus, followed by my team mates. All I want to do is run to her. Being able to wrap my arms around her, hold her, love her is all that's been on my mind for days.

I mutter a quick goodbye to my teammates, grabbing my duffle-bag from the trunk of the bus. The phone is still vibrating so I fish it out of my pocket and hit answer.

"Seth?" The sound of my sister Paulina's voice fills me with warmth.

God, I've missed her so much.

"Poppy! How are you? Everything alright over there?" I ask enthusiastically, making my way towards Arya's dorm building.

"I miss you," she mutters breathlessly and I know she's about to cry.

"I miss you, too, baby girl." I take a deep breath and choke down my own emotions. "Guess what!"

"What?" She asks, voice wobbly.

"I'm coming home to visit you and mommy soon. Only one more week and I'll be there with you," I try to sound as cheery as possible. "How's school been? Tell me everything."

Paulina had just started first grade this summer. To say that I feel guilty about not being there for her in this important part of her life is an understatement. Ever since my dead-beat dad left us for good, she's been my mother's first and only priority, though. That makes me feel slightly better about being away from them.

As Paulina starts telling me about her friends, favorite teachers and how she dislikes most subjects, I enter the huge dorm building. Paulina rambles on and on and the sound of her voice drains all tension from my body and mind.

"...so then Danny said I shouldn't use the blue crayons because I'm a girl but I think that's silly and... Yes, mommy?" She calls into the phone loudly. "Seth? Mommy says I need to hang up now."

"That's ok, Pops. I'll see you in a week, ok?"

"Hmm..."

"Don't be sad. I'll be there in no time! I love you, ok?" I drop my duffle-bag in front of Arya's dorm and lean against the wall beside it, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"I love you, too, Seth." That's when she bursts into tears and my heart breaks for her. "No! Mommy, give the phone back!"

There's shuffling in the background and finally I hear Paulina yelling at my mother and stomping off in a temper. Damn, she has grown up!

"Seth?" My mother's voice asks gently through the phone. "I've needed to tell you something."

Alarm signals go off in my head immediately. No positive conversation has ever started like that.

"Can't it wait? I'm exhausted and about to drop," I mutter and yawn for effect. "Whatever it is, I'm sure it can wait a couple more hours. You're prepared for me coming home next week, right?"

"Of course... Yes, honey, we're looking forward to it." But her voice tells another story.

"Right, I'm hanging up now. Tell Paulina to stop growing up." Before I hang up, I hear my mother laughing glumly on the other line. Whatever bomb she is planning on dropping, it will have to wait.

Leaving my duffle-bag on the ground, I wrap my knuckles against Arya's door three times. I hear shuffling inside and my heart picks up pace. A grin pulls at my lips and I have to steady myself against the doorframe when my knees go weak. I hear banging inside and a muttered curse before the door flies open.

Arya gasps when I fall towards her, flinging my arms around her in desperate need. I burry my face in her hair and inhale deeply. Arya's hands wrap around my waist and her fingers bunch up the fabric of my shirt as she clutches onto me. Taking hold of her neck, I tilt her face up to me and brush a few messy curls out of her eyes. We don't speak but the look in her eyes and the tears threatening to spill over tell me more than I need to know.

I kiss her with such desperation and basic need to have her as close as humanly possible. The kiss is wild and passionate. I walk her back into the room, shutting the door behind me. My brain is completely occupied with Arya. Her smell, the feeling of her beautifully curvy body against mine, her lips opening slightly and her tongue grazing against my own, her fingernails digging into my back through my shirt. It all drives me insane.

Then she lets her hands wander. They slide over my stomach, my muscles tensing up involuntarily, then my chest, my shoulders and finally her arms wrap around my neck. I turn her around when we reach the bed and gently fall back, pulling her with me. Our lips still move feverishly against each others when her teeth suddenly catch my bottom lip and tug on it, making me moan.

Holy shit!

My nerve endings stand at attention when I break away from the kiss breathlessly only to pull Arya's shirt over her head. She's now only in her bra and super short cotton shorts. An animalistic grunt surfaces from the back of my throat when I dip my head down to nibble at the skin right above her breasts. Arya chuckles and buries her hands in my hair when I start biting her skin, leaving a trail of tiny bite marks across her chest.

When my head goes lower and lower, Arya suddenly tenses up. I notice the change in her mood immediately and look up at her for reassurance.

Her head is now tilted to the side so she can avoid eye-contact completely. I sit up, my body urging me to keep going but the pained look on Arya's face is enough to stop me from going any further.

"What's wrong?" I ask my voice throaty.

She just shakes her head, her eyes roaming the room. That's when I notice the difference in the room. The walls are empty. Our graduation picture, the numerous drawings and even Paulina's handwritten letter are gone. Her desk and the usually stuffed drawers are empty. The whole room looks like... My eyes wander and fall upon the large suitcase and backpack by the door.

How had I not noticed that earlier?

"Wait? What's going on?"

Arya shakes her head in response and crawls to the other side of the bed, sitting cross-legged. She puts her face in her hands and I can't read her at all. When I try to approach her, she puts her hand out to hold me back. Rejection hits me hard.

"Arya. Don't do this. Talk to me. Don't shut me out." I beg through clenched teeth.

"I-I," she stutters but doesn't manage another word. I don't know if I want her to keep talking either.

Another look at the suitcases and the empty room and everything starts dawning on me.

I climb off the bed and tear open the small window, in desperate need for air.

"When are you leaving?"

"Sam's on his w-way," she mutters.

"Sam? You called Sam to pick you up? Why can't I drive you?" When I turn to face her, her eyes are red but she isn't crying. She just looks tired.

"You still have classes to attend and another game on Saturday. You can't just up and leave. You have responsibilities." Her voice is now void of emotion. She runs a hand through her tangled hair and reaches for her shirt. Once she's fully dressed again, she starts playing with the hem of her shirt.

"Fuck classes, fuck soccer. I don't care anymore. I'll take you home!"

"Don't be ridiculous, Seth! Sam is already on his way," she bursts out. "You stay here and finish the semester. We'll see each other in a week. I'll be living with Sam in his apartment until I find my own place close by."

"Oh so you've got this all planned out, huh?" Somehow resentment fills me and the more I listen to her, the more frustrated I become. "You know what, Arya. Screw you! Seriously. Are we even in a relationship anymore?! I'll be the first person to admit that I fucking suck at this. I don't know how to be the picture perfect, cookie-cutter boyfriend but I damn well tell you when I make life-changing plans. I include you in my life because right now I care about nothing else but you."

Arya now gets off the bed, standing across from me with her arms crossed over her chest. Her face is red and her brow furrowed at me.

"Calm down, Seth." She says almost nonchalantly, pissing me off even more. I can feel myself cracking and I know that if I don't stop myself, I'm going to say shit that I'm surely going to regret.

"Don't tell me to fucking calm down! I've been calm for way too long, letting you ruin your life. Why are you throwing everything away!? Why can't we go about things the way we had them planned?" I shout out, my chest still constricted.

"Because they were never my plans!" Arya shouts back, taking me by surprise. "I came here because of you! Sure, I found something that might have suited me but in the end, the only reason I came here for is you."

"Then stay here for me!" I beg, stepping forward and grasping onto her shoulders.

"I can't." She shakes her head, looking at the floor. "Do you know how awful these past few days have been for me, Seth? Look, I'm used to being alone. That's not the problem. It's this place. It's driving me completely insane. Wherever I go, people look at me like I'm the scum of the earth. You know best what that does to me. This place is a constant reminder of everything that I've been trying to forget."

She takes a deep breath before looking up at me. "I've tried... and failed. I made a decision and I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about it. I really am. Please, just go with me on this one. Don't hate me, please."

How can I be mad at her when she looks at me like this? I truly don't know what to do with her at this point. My emotions go haywire. One second I feel like I want to spend the rest of my life with her and only her and the next second real life crashes down on top of us, crushing us. Her past still haunts her, I know that but she never talks to me about it. How am I supposed to help her when she refuses to tell me about what's going on in her life?

"I could never hate you," I whisper, pulling her to my chest again.

"But you're mad," her voice is muffled.

"You make me mad, completely insane. You should have me institutionalized." I brush her hair with one hand while holding her against me with the other. She giggles softly.

"Let's do something before Sam gets here?" The offer is tempting. I pull back and smirk down at her, raising an eyebrow suggestively, heat rising inside me again. Arya slaps my chest and shakes her head.

"Not that! How do you go from mad at me to..."

"Wanting to fuck your brains out?" I whisper against her neck, feeling her shiver.

She shrieks though and pushes me away. "Seth! Don't say that!"

"Why not? You're my girlfriend, I can say whatever I want. Plus, it's the truth."

"You're bad..." She blushes and covers her face with her hands.

"I have my needs and those shorts make me want to bite your-"

"Stop already!" She slaps my shoulder and I laugh teasingly. "I was thinking we might take your car and drive into the city. I've barely seen it and, um, we haven't really been on many dates... so..."

"Are you asking me out on a date, Ms O'Brien?"

"What if I am?" She grins up at me.

"I'd say get dressed, we have a date to go on!"

About an hour and a half later we find ourselves in a small restaurant by the sea shore. It's cool this time of the year, so we've got ourselves a booth. Arya sits across from me, sipping on her water, staring out onto the ocean. I can't take my eyes off her. If those shorts had driven me insane, the dress she chose to wear now has me losing my manners. It's short and black and maddeningly tight, showing off every single curve.

"You're staring." She hisses but smiles nonetheless.

"I'm not denying it."

The waitress approaches, ready to take our orders. "What can I get you two?"

"I'll have the stake, medium, with rosemary potatoes and the side salad." I read off the menu and she smiles at me, writing everything down. "You know what you want yet?" I ask Arya who has her eyes focused on the ocean outside again. She jumps slightly and blushes nervously.

The waitress eyes her impatiently. "Can I suggest the shrimp salad? It's really good."

"Sure... I guess, I'll have that." Arya agrees, seemingly absentminded. Before the waitress leaves she gives me a lingering look and in another life she might have attracted my attention as well but not in this one.

"Everything alright?" I reach for Arya's hand on the table.

"I'm scared," she admits, eyes flaming. "Do you think I just ruined my future, Seth? I've got nothing but a mediocre high school diploma. I..."

"Arya, listen to me. Everything will be fine. Maybe this just wasn't your path." I remember her earlier words. "You're right, this is where I want to be. This was my dream not yours. There is something out there for you, I promise. Something that's way better than this place. You're an incredible artist and there's no way I'm the only one seeing that."

Nodding her head in agreement, she squeezes my hand and smiles. "You're right. Of course you're right. I'm sorry. I'm ruining our date."

"Like hell you are!"

I am about to convince her of the fact that this is the best date I've ever been on, when her phone starts buzzing in her purse. She digs it out and checks the caller ID before answering it.

"This is she," she furrows her brow and gives me an odd look. "Yes, that's about me but... No, I didn't write it. It was just written about me... Who is this I'm talking to?"

"What's going on?" I whisper questioningly but Arya just shrugs, shaking her head.

Suddenly her eyes go wide in shock and her mouth drops open. She listens intently, occasionally nodding her head.

"I don't know what to say... I-" The person on the other line seems to interrupt her again. "Can I e-mail it to you? Yes, yes, of course. I'll do it tonight. Thank you! Thank you so much! Bye!"

Arya jumps out of her seat and walks out of the booth. She's gasping for air and heads for the door. For a moment, I'm convinced that she's having a panic attack so I run after her but what I'm faced with is something utterly different.

There she stands, hands clutching her chest, wearing a smile as bright as the sun in the background as it hits the horizon. She fans her face as I know she's about to burst into happy tears. All I can do is stand there and stare at her in confusion.

"What just happened?"

"Does the name Axel Baumgold mean anything to you?" She bursts out.

"No? Should it?"

"Seth!" She comes charging towards me. "He's the owner of the Baumgold Gallery, one of the most spectacular galleries on the Upper East Side of New York! It's been established in the eighties and after his father passed away, Axel took over the gallery."

"So?"

"They want me! They saw Tessa's blog post! They're sending an executive to come and talk to me and show them what I've created so far. They want to talk about the mural and... oh my god! Do you know what this means?!" When I don't say anything she just wraps her arms around my neck lets her lips linger on my shoulder. "You were right, Seth. You were right..."

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Also, I posted the first short-story/one shot kinda deal in "The Archive". So, check that out if you're feeling adventurous.

Love xXxX