Ch. 26 - Letter

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THE DAY AFTER MY FATHER'S death, we had the funeral. We were the only ones there since his parents were dead, and he had no siblings. I don't know the rest of his family.

After the funeral, we went back to the hotel to pack up our stuff. We were leaving tomorrow morning to go back home.

I zipped my suitcase up before placing it against the wall to stay out of my way. Then I fell back on my bed, mentally and physically exhausted.

I wish Brent was here. He would cuddle with me or hold me.

My phone started to ring, and I answered it without looking at the I.D. I placed the device to my ear.

"Hello?" I asked into the phone.

"Campbell? Is this you?" Grace's voice asked, making me shoot straight up.

"I'm going to hang up now," I told her, bitterly.

"Please don't! Please!" Grace begged as my finger hovered over the end button.

"Five minutes then I'm hanging up," I say, placing the device back to my ear.

"Thank you. I wanted to tell you that I'm so sorry about Chase. He was a great dad and a great husband. I'm so sorry you have to go through this by yourself," Grace said, making me roll my eyes.

"Okay, first of all, I'm not alone. My family is comforting me, and second, you act like his death doesn't hurt you. How can you just without an inch of sadness? You and him were together for fifteen years," I clapped back, angrily.

"Campbell, just because I do not love your father anymore doesn't mean his death didn't hurt me," Grace argued.

"Whatever. I really don't want to deal with you right now," I told her, truthfully.

I guess grief makes me honest.

"Leah told me about you being her sister. She wants to hang out with you after you get back from Florida," Grace said, trying to change the subject.

"I will hang out with her. Saturday will do just fine with me," I promised.

Even though Grace and I have problems, Leah is my sister and I'm going to be her big sister even if that means dealing with Grace.

"Thank you," Grace thanked me.

"Don't thank me. I'm not doing this because of you. I'm doing this for her. She deserves to have an older sister," I said before adding,"Now I'm going to hang up. I have packing to do."

After I said that, I pressed the end call on the phone. Then I grabbed a pillow off the hotel bed, and I screamed into it. All the angry, grief, sadness went into my scream.

Once I was done screaming into my pillow, a knock on my door brought me out of my reality. I placed the pillow back into its original spot. Then I made sure I looked normal before opening the door.

Dad was standing at my door with a notebook in his hand.

"Did you finish packing?" He asked, calmly.

I nodded,"Just finished actually."

"Can I come in?"

I let him in, shutting the door behind me. He sat on the edge of the hotel bed, putting the notebook beside him.

"What's that?" I asked him, eyeing the notebook.

"Come sit down next to me, please," Dad said, padding the spot next to him.

I sat down next to him, and he turned to face me.

"While you were asleep, your father was writing in this notebook," Dad said, holding up the blue notebook. "I came to check on you. We had a conversation, and I learned that he would give up the world for you, Campbell. He loved you that much.

While we were talking, he made me promise him that if something happened to him that I would give you this notebook. Now I don't know what's in it, but he said that it was very important."

He handed me the notebook. I took it, looking at it like it was going to eat me.

"Thank you," I thanked him, putting the notebook in my lap.

"I'm so sorry, Campbell. If I would have been there, I would have helped," Dad said as I shook my head.

"Dad, that was not your fault. He was gone the moment I woke up. I just wouldn't believe it," I said, remembering the still body of my father.

He nodded,"I know, but I feel like I should have done something. Seeing you crying and shouting froze me, I guess you can say."

I hugged him, and he wrapped his arms around me.

"I love you, kiddo," he whispered, making me hug him tighter.

"I love you, too."

After we broke apart, Dad said,"We are ordering Chinese for dinner if you are hungry."

"I will come get some later. I'm not hungry right now," I replied as he opened my door.

"Alright. You know where we will be. If you need somebody to cry to or talk to, our door is always open," Dad said, making me nod.

"I will," I said before he shut the door.

I was left alone, and I looked at the notebook again. I don't think I have the strength to open it.

I don't know what's in here, and I guess that's what makes me scared to open it.

I put it on the table beside the bed when my phone rang once more. This time I looked to see Brent trying to FaceTime me. I answered the call, and Brent's face filled my screen.

"Hey, baby," Brent said with a tiny smile. His blonde hair was wet from the shower.

"Hi," I replied, laying across my bed.

"How are you doing? And don't try to lie because I will call Nick and he will tell me the truth," Brent threatened, shutting his bedroom door.

I shrugged,"I'be been better. How are things there?"

Martha was more than willingly to let Maya stay with them before we left. Let's just say that I was not a happy camper.

"To be honest, Maya just stays in the guest bedroom unless she wants something to eat. I think she is embarrassed by the bruise you left," Brent answered, sitting in his desk chair.

"She had it coming," I told him and he nodded his head in agreement.

"I wish I was there with you."

"I wish you were too. I really need one of your hugs right about now," I admitted as tears welled in my eyes.

"Princess, don't cry. I will hop on a flight right now. Just give me a couple of hours, and I'll be there with hugs and kisses," Brent said with a serious look on his face.

That made me smile. "I just wish I had more time with him is all. I shouldn't have waited so long to start a new relationship with him."

"I know, baby, I know. I love you with all of my heart. I promised you that I wouldn't leave you, and I'm going to keep that promise. I'll be at your house when you land in the morning."

"Do you think he's looking down on me from heaven?" I asked him, wiping my eyes.

He nodded,"Of course he is."

"I think I'm going to take a shower then go to bed. It's been a very long day," I said, rubbing my eyes, tiredly.

"That sounds like a great plan. I'll call you in the morning. I love you," Brent said before kissing the screen.

"I love you, too," I replied, blowing him a kiss.

We ended the call, and I walked into my bathroom. I turned on the shower before stripping from my clothes. Then I stepped into the shower, letting the warm water wash over me.

I stayed in the shower until the water ran cold. After I dried myself off, I changed into black sweatpants and a red tank top. I'll be wearing this tomorrow except I'll Brent's sweatshirt over the tank top.

I turned off the bathroom light when there was a knock on my door. I opened the door to see all the boys standing there with Chinese in their hands.

"We figured you wanted some company. We brought food and Frozen 2," Nick said, gesturing to the stuff in their hands.

"You guys are the best," I said with a tiny smile, letting them into the room.

We all piled up, and Nick put in the movie. We ate while the movie played. Nick and Gaberial sung every song that came on. We laughed at them as they tried to hit the high notes.

Half way through the movie, I yawned, letting sleepiness take over.

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I woke up to somebody snoring. I looked around to see Gavin snoring like a freaking ogre. I threw a pillow at him to make him stop, but he doesn't even stir when the pillow hit him.

I huffed as I sat up straighter in my bed. The boys were laid out everybody from the edge of my bed and Micheal's bed to the floor.

Now that I'm up, I can't go back to sleep. As I was looking for my phone, my eyes caught the notebook laying, untouched, on my table.

I can't avoid it forever.

I quietly grabbed my phone, the notebook, and slipped on a pair of shoes before leaving the bedroom. I took the elevator down to the lobby where I know it will be silent at this time of night.

When I entered the lobby, the only people here are the workers, and they were half asleep.

I sat down on the sofa by the huge window. I slowly opened the notebook to the first page.

For my Sunshine

It was in my father's handwriting. I flipped over to the next page which was filled with words. I took a deep breath before deciding to read the letter.

Dear Sunshine,

If you are reading this, it means that I passed away or it's years into the future and you are reading this just for fun.

Either way I want you to know that I love you. I remember the first time I ever laid eyes on you. Your mother just given birth, and you were screaming up a storm.

Even when the nurses cleaned up and wrapped you in a blanket, you were still screaming. But you soon stopped when your mother and I held you for the first time.

I knew then that my life would never be the same.

And then you grew up. You are beautiful, smart, kind, and I couldn't be more prouder than I am right now. Even though my mistakes put you in foster care, you still forgave me and you still love me.

I couldn't be more thankful.

Campbell, I want you to be happy and I want you to enjoy your life. I don't want you to regret those months where neither of us spoke to each other. I want you to know that I love you and I'm so proud to call you my daughter.

I wrote this to tell you that I'm at peace. You don't have to worry about me. You're laying on my shoulder now, sleeping soundly, and I'm just thinking about how lucky I am.

Don't let anybody bring you down. If they do, they don't deserve you. You are a light, Campbell Jane West Cade to those who are hidden in the dark. Don't ever forget that.

P.S. if you and that Brent boy get married, I give you two my blessing. Just the way you smile while talking about him makes me happy.

Love you,
Dad

Through my tears, I laughed at that p.s. part. I closed the notebook, and I wiped my eyes.

I grabbed my stuff, and I walked outside of the hotel. I looked up at the stars, and I smiled to myself.

"I love you, Dad."

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