[4]

A L A S K A

My hands began to tremble and my breath hitched.

Those people. They were mother's friends. They made me suffer just like my birth giver-No, even worse. They still haunted me in my dreams and I get terrified by just looking at them.

Harry and Megan.

(Author of the future note: I wrote those names unintentionally. I had forgotten who they belonged to when I wrote this chap, lol.)

Megan was a decent sized woman. She had black hair that reached her shoulders and dark brown eyes. When she was angry, her eyes would turn almost black.

And I experienced that a lot.

Harry. . . he was my absolute nightmare. I thought I'd never have to see him again. . . yet here he was, standing in the same room as me, breathing the same air. He was the one, who did the most horrible things a little girl could ever experience.

When they saw me, they scrunched up their faces in disgust and glared at me.

"What is that little piece of shit doing here?" Megan sneered.

A couple of the guys chuckled, whereas the others looked annoyed or just threw some glares my way.

"I-" I was so pathetic. I was taught differently. I was taught to be strong, to not show that I was scared, to hold my head up high. So, I cleared my throat and spoke up. "I gotta go. Nice to see you again," I spoke in the most polite way I could bring up. Everyone in the room looked kind of shocked at my politeness, but I couldn't care less.

I stormed out of the doors and jogged trough the streets until I was sure that I was far enough away from this hell-hole.

You can never escape the hellhole.

And why is that? I am not there anymore, I am somewhere else, although I know that I will have to go back there.

Your real hellhole is inside of your head.

I know.

I keep drowning in my thoughts and memories. They hold me up at night and they stop me from moving on at day. The scars and bruises that were littered all over my tiny figure, were daily reminders of how much of a disgrace I was. I would never be able to feel true happiness, not even for one day. I wasn't blessed with happiness. I didn't deserve it.

I deserved pain.

As I walked around, I spotted a small park and sat down on a bench.

When I raised my head and looked at the sky, I was amazed. It was orange and purple, a few small white dots were evident on the sky and the half moon was faint. It looked breathtakingly beautiful.

My eyes became heavy and I slowly started to drift away as I lied down on the bench and wrapped my arms around myself in an attempt to not freeze to death.

Then the darkness consumed me.

-

"Hey, Bitch."

"God, she's so annoying! Why did we have to look for her? Couldn't we just let her be?!"

Voices.

There were voices around me.

They sounded bored and annoyed.

All of a sudden I felt cold water being dumped on me.

My heart dropped.

I couldn't breathe.

I couldn't breathe.

I couldn't breathe!

The memories hit me as I clutched onto my chest for dear life.

《 Flashback 》

(She was 8 years)

My head was being pushed into the water of the sea. I didn't get the chance to take a breath before, so I opened my mouth under the water.

The water flooded into my mouth and nose. My throat became dry and I felt the oxygen leave my lungs.

Mommy was punishing me.

For being disrespectful, she said.

I don't know what I did, though.

We were on a trip with my brothers and daddy in California. We had spent the day at the beach and then dad got an urgent business call, so he had to go back to the hotel. My brothers had followed him and told me to have some more fun.

As soon as they were out of sight, I had asked my mommy to play with me. And the next thing she did, was pressing my body under water, while I was desperately trying to get some oxygen.

My vision started to get blurry and black dots clouded my vision.

Suddenly I was pulled out of the water and was dragged to the hotel. I didn't notice what happened around me, I only noticed people shouting my name. Frantically.

Soon I saw nothing else but black.

《 Flashback over 》

"Don't make a drama. It's just some water, bitch," one of my brothers said.

After what felt like hours, my breathing  came back to normal. My eyes were teary and my chest felt tight.

How could they do this? They knew how afraid of water I was. They knew how terrifying it was for me.

Yet, they splashed water on me.

They were the ones who were full of worry back then. They were the ones who shouted my name and looked like walking corpses when I woke up after one week.

They weren't my brothers anymore. They were monsters. Monsters who believed the devil herself and who betrayed their own sister in times where she needed them the most.

I would never forgive them. Not after everything they did to me.

"Come on. I don't want to waste more of my time on you," Phoenix said boredly.

Why? Why was I so unloved? What did I do to become the most hated person on earth? Why did my own family despise me? Why didn't my mother love me?

I furiously wiped away the tears that had fallen down my cheeks, closed my eyes and inhaled heavily.

When I opened my eyes they were empty. I could feel it, I could feel how I lost all hope in my family. How all the love I still felt for them left my body.

I felt nothing but hatred for them now.

The people who destroyed me, who hurt me in the worst possible ways; who broke my heart over and over again, and stomped onto the broken pieces; who didn't trust me one bit and despised me for something I never did.

I didn't want to make them regret it, I just wanted to leave. To stay as far away from them as possible. I didn't want to waste my time on them anymore, or waste my energy on people who would never love me again.

I followed the assholes, aka my brothers. I'd call them that from now on, I have decided, since I only have two real brothers.

My best friends, who were miles away from me.

They were nearer than she thought.

I got in the car and sat in the back seat without taking another glance at those people.

After an uncomfortable silence, we eventually arrived at the mansion and walked up to the front porch. When someone opened it, I pushed past them and made my way to the kitchen.

All eyes snapped towards me. They looked furious, but I just turned around and grabbed some water out of the fridge. Then I opened the doors of the cabinets until I eventually found a glass. I took it and poured some water into it, well aware of all the burning gazes on my back.

"Where the hell were you? Did you want to run away?" my sperm donor yelled.

"Nope." I said, popping the 'p'. "You wouldn't care anyways," I mumbled under my breath so nobody could hear, but unfortunately they did.

"You're right! We couldn't care less! Why didn't you die?!" Grayson yelled angrily.

'Why didn't you die?'

My breath got stuck in my throat. They actually wanted me to die. They really hated me this much, huh?

Why didn't I die?

That's a good question. Why didn't I just escape? Why didn't I just end the unbearable pain?

Because somewhere out there was still my family. My real family. And I couldn't forgive myself for leaving my two bestfriends.

They never left my side when I was a bratty and annoying teenager. They didn't leave me when I told them my biggest secret. They didn't run away when I showed them my ugly and disgusting scars. Instead, they stayed and picked up the broken pieces of my heart. They helped me trough my hardest times and so did I.

They had a lot of problems too. They had nightmares and a lot of anxieties, and also some really bad anger issues.

Every guy who even looked at me in a wrong way, be it lustful or hateful, got a bleeding nose and a fractured body part.

I was the only one, who could calm them down when they had an outburst. Nobody else would even dare to come near them. But I wasn't scared of them. They had hurt me once though. Well, it was Leonid to be exact. He had cut me with a knife, as he once tried to stab someone.

I still have the scar on my right arm. It's the only one that I am proud of. Gosh, that sounds kind of creepy. Of course I wasn't proud that my best friend had hurt me, but it reminded me of him. I felt like I had a bond to him because of the scar, you know?

That's also why I got a tattoo on my left arm. Maxim was jealous and also wanted me to have a special reminder of him, so I decided to get a tattoo.

It was a small skull with some roses surrounding it.

I loved it. It looked gorgeous.

"How can you say that!" I said, raising my voice as I turned around, looking them dead in the eye. His eyes were empty and dark, but if you looked deeper into them, you saw pain.

"I hate you! I hate you so much! Why the hell did you even bring me back? You obviously don't want me!" I shouted.

They looked a bit taken aback for a second, before they recovered and glared at me. The usual.

Their glares were hard and stone cold. Grown men would cower under those intense stares, not me though. I'm used to them by now. My brothers and stepbrothers had perfect poker faces, but if they were angry they used their faces as a weapon.

A weapon that shot better than any gun, that cut deeper than any knife and that punched harder than any fist.

"We want you to feel the pain we felt when we found out our mother was stabbed! The same fear, the same panic. Do you even know how terrifying that situation was? We want to make you regret every single day of your motherfucking life!" Warren yelled at me, with so much venom that a vase on the table fell down and splattered into millions of little pieces.

They want me to regret living? I alreday do! They want me to regret what I did? I am sorry, but that won't happen since I never stabbed my own mother! She fucking drugged me and accused me of having stabbed her. She was a psycho and her death was the best thing to ever happen.

You know what? I changed my mind. I want them to regret it. I want them to feel the same pain that I felt.

I was alone and full of fear, when I was shipped of to that damn boarding school. I was left alone to cry myself to sleep, while my family had the time of their life. They had everything served on a silver platter. They had each other, they felt love every single day of their lives. They even got a new mother and stepbrothers. Their lives couldn't be any better!

But I will make sure to let them feel the pain I felt.
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Hey there, I just finished this chapter and didn't edit it yet. I won't be home for the rest of the day so I wont be able to edit the chapter until tomorrow. I apologize for any mistakes ;)
♡

Edited: I just edited it and I hope that there ain't mistakes anymore. But if there are, please comment it.

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