[27]

A L A S K A

Max and Leo avoided me for two whole days...and I let them. I'd didn't try to talk nor to start a conversation nor anything. I let them have time to process what I said about Xavier, I guess.

You see, they never leave me alone unless they need some time for themselves to think about something or when they are too angry. Right now, they must be really upset over me being in a relationship with Ricci.

Yeah, I said yes. I don't know, it's...I wanna spend time with him. I wanna be near him. I wanna get to know him. The real him. And since he made the first move and asked me out I said yes. I mean if anything happens I can still break up, right? But I'm also scared. To kind of belong to someone scares me. I mean, I'm of course not his belonging or anything just because I am his girlfriend, but you know what I mean?

It just scares me.

But I really wanna try. For him. For me. For us. I wanna try it for us. I really do.

Anyways, after that incident two days ago where I broke down Xavier was practically glued to my side, which made me feel uncomfortable yet safe. It's weird, really. However the glares that my brothers shot his way were rather unpleasant. I'm used to glares or disgusted looks but the looks they gave him were on another level of intimidation. Though it didn't scare me, it just made me incredibly uncomfortable and kinda angry.

I mean, I know he's kind of their enemy in the mafia business but they never had any war or something, so yeah.

"Ms.Hades?" I was brought out of my thoughts by the high pitched voice from Mrs.Gilbert, our biology teacher. She was rather old, around 50 to 60 years I guess, with grey locks that reached her shoulders and an old fashioned sense for fashion.

"Yeah, sorry?" I asked annoyed whereupon she clicked her tongue but answered nonetheless.

"It's lunch break." she deadpanned before she went back to shoving her books into her brown bag, which had long straps and a leather-like material.

I glanced around the room to find that it was indeed completely empty. I chuckled at my stupidity and swung my bag over one shoulder before I made my way to my locker. When I approached it I spotted Enzo and Leonardo.

Before I could turn around they had already seen me and were now walking into my direction. I mentally cursed for being so slow and prepared myself for some self pity party.

"Alaska, can we talk?" Enzo asked hesitantly.

"You know what, I don't wanna hear your answer. Just come with us." Leonardo cut in before I could even start my sentence and dragged me into an empty classroom.

A cold breeze of air hit my exposed arms when Enzo slammed the door shut, which sent chills down my spine.

"What do you want?" I grumbled.

"We..." Leonardo started but trailed off with regret written all over his face.

"Ok. Bye."

"Wait! Ok. You know I was trying to find a fitting apology for over a week and I only now realized that I forgot the most important one. I thought about ways to make it up to you and to gain your trust, but I forgot that I didn't even say sorry yet. I didn't even begin to make it up to you yet and I was already thinking about such things.

So...I am sorry. I am sorry for that horrible and absolutely stupid mistake I made. I should've never ever let my friend do that to you. I should've never ever even thought about such a thing in the first place. I sincerely am sorry and I wanna make it up to you, although you won't wanna hear it. I will try to gain back your trust with everything I have, I promise you that." Leonardo ended his speech with a sad smile and his head hung low.

"Me too. I am sincerely sorry for the horrible things I said and did to you. You didn't deserve it. You don't deserve us at all. You deserve a good family. A better one than we will ever be. But I will still try. Because we were blessed with such an angel as our sister and I, stupid idiot, destroyed any chance of having a good relationship with you. I apologize and I will try to make up for it in any way possible." Enzo explained, with desperation and guilt lacing his voice.

I smirked at their statements but I also felt some warmth around my heart. They were the first people who really apologized for what they did to me and they didn't seem like they were lying. That doesn't mean I will just forgive them. I don't even know if I ever will, but the chances are higher than the ones with my biologicals.

"Fine. Can I go now?" I asked.

"Well, yeah....I guess." Enzo muttered and scratched the back of his head. I turned on my heel and walked to the door but before I could turn the doorknob I was stopped by Leonardo calling out my name.

"Alaska! Thank you."

"For what?"

"For listening to us." he smiled which I didn't return but his eyes lit up when I mumbled a low 'You're welcome'.

I'm not gonna forgive them...I'm not gonna give in. Why am I even thinking about forgiving them? Why am I thinking about having someone love me like a brother? Why am I thinking about having someone being overprotective and beating up all the guys that look at me for too long? Why am I thinking about having someone to laugh with about the silliest jokes?

I mean, yeah I have Leo and Max and I love them with all my heart, but they could never fill that emptiness in my heart. They are my one and only family but that empty spot in my heart was never filled. No matter how hard I tried.

I just wanted to have a normal family. A family who loves me the way I am. Who loves me no matter how often I argue with them or prank them. A family who would soothe me after nightmares and read me stories before I go to bed.

I forgot what that was like and I also forgot how damn I missed it. I missed all the funny memories with my brothers. All the christmases we celebrated together, all the birthdays. All the times where we chased each other trough the whole house. All the times where we argued with each other about the size of our cookies.

I missed the times where we were a real family.
●

●

●

●
Hey there, I'm sorry for the rather late update. I got a lot of tests to prepare for, so there won't be a lot of updates in the future as well. I hope you enjoyed the chap ☺

Any wishes for the POV of the next chap?

Stay safe ya guys!! Love y'all!
♡♡

Vote | Comment | Follow

- L I S A