chapter twenty four

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hi guys! apology for the wait but  here it is! and if you haven't checked out my new book 'alfa fuar' please do! updates for both should be every wednesday!

thea's pov

I woke up, my eyes heavy. My mind felt groggy, and I could hear the murmurs of people around me, but I couldn't seem to open my eyes. My thoughts were no longer spinning, my brain just fuzzy. It's like there was a weight on my eyes, and so I drifted back to sleep enjoying my thoughtless dreams.

*

After who knows how long I finally was able to open my eyes, still feeling groggy. When I opened my eyes I saw the IV's, the hospital gown, and the sterile room. I started to panic until I felt a heavyweight on my stomach. I looked down, and I saw my Alpha mate sleeping against me. I smiled at how boyish he looked while sleeping. The serious and almost stoic look that always graced his handsome face was replaced with one of contentment.

"He was absolutely beside himself when you fainted. I've never seen my son react that way. He loves you, you know?" I jumped at the voice, relaxing a little when I saw Bethany sitting in a chair in the corner.

"H-He put-ts up w-with so m-much with m-me." I felt awful that he was so worried about me. At the rate things were going my young, handsome mate would be covered in grey hairs with how much stress I'd put him through. Sebastian let the word problems fall on his shoulders, and I couldn't help but want to ease that burden for him. He was such a caring man. He was born to be an Alpha, with his overwhelming desire to help everyone in his pack.

"It is no burden to him to take care of you, Thea. It's second nature for him to take care of those in his life. Even as a young boy he showed so much potential in his actions. He was strong, and stubborn with a heart of gold. He's been talking about his mate since he could understand the concept. Let him take care of you, and teach him to let you take care of him. That's what mates do. Sebastian is stubborn. He doesn't expect someone to care for him, and I can already tell you are just who he needs to keep him in line." Bethany smiled at me and gazed lovingly at her son. She only told me what I already knew. Sebastian had too much on his plate, and I needed to show him I could take away some of his burdens. I was his partner. His Luna. And I needed to start acting like it. Fake it till you make it, right?

*

Sebastian suddenly whipped his head up, looking frantically at me;

"Little One, you scared me. Are you OK?" He was out of breath, and his voice was shaking.

"I'm OK. I'm sorry I scared you." I reached out, caressing his cheek. His wolf purred in contentment. Bethany excused herself and left us alone. We sat in comfortable silence for God knows how long when he sat up straight;

"Baby. I know that it's hard, and I don't want to push you, but you need to talk about this. It doesn't have to be today. Or tomorrow. We're gonna go at your pace. But you can't bottle that up. You scared me Little One. You scared all of us."

He was right.

I couldn't just pretend that those things didn't happen to me. Eventually, I needed to let those emotions out before they eat me alive. I needed to face my demons, not only for my own sanity. I have a sinking feeling that Acacia and I are not the only ones living in those circumstances. I can't bear the thought that there are other wolves out there being tortured, abused, taken from their families... If by facing those memories I can save someone from that situation... I will. No question about it.

"You are right Sebastian I know that. I don't really know what happened, the memories just started to bombard me all at once. I couldn't focus on anything, and it felt like there was a race car event going on up in my head. I was annoyed with myself for not being able to remember anything helpful, and then... everything spiraled." I nervously played with my fingers, toying with the blanket on my bed. I was upset with myself for letting my anxiety win once again.

Sebastian tucked my hair behind my ear, looking at me with reverence; "We'll figure this out, baby. Together. You are not alone. Not anymore." I smiled at him, placing my hand on his cheek. He leaned into my touch, his wolf purring in contentment at his mate's touch.

*

Sebastian called Ainsley, our pack doctor, into the room to check on me. After she ok'd me going home, with orders to continue the recovery process we headed home. When we reached our floor, Acacia was waiting with Jace cooking in the kitchen. Acacia looked nervous, her hands were shaking, she wasn't making eye contact;

"Thea. I am glad you are feeling better." I smiled at her; her nerves making me nervous, "Would- Could we talk?"

She was shifting from foot to foot, Jace was glancing worriedly but he seemed to know what was going on. Sebastian looked at him, raising his eyebrows. Jace gave him a warning look, clearly wary that his Alpha might upset his fragile mate.

I knew Acacia wasn't going to hurt me. Physically or emotionally. The girl was an absolute sweetheart, of that I had no doubt. No offense to her, but the girl was even weaker than me, and that was saying something. And, I was more than curious about what she was so nervous to talk to me about.

"O-of course A-Ac-cacia. I would l-love to." I could tell Sebastian was ready to argue with me, so I put my hand on his chest and went on my toes to reach his ear, whispering I'd be OK. I was praying he wouldn't put up too much of a fuss, though I'd understand why. I know my mate. I know it's hard for him to reign in his protective instincts, especially after what just happened but, I also knew my own limits, and I felt it in my bones that this was a conversation I needed to have. Ever since Acacia had mentioned her childhood I had been curious. She and I shared a bond through our similar experiences, and as difficult as it is for me to talk about, maybe talking to her wouldn't be as painful. And, how else would we ever identify the faceless threat hanging over our heads? Without a face, a name to place the blame on, I felt powerless. I felt afraid. Not even Sebastian could protect me from a faceless monster. With a threat so ominous, no wolf on the planet was safe.

*

After Sebastian finally let go of the grip he had on my waist, and both men were assured we knew where they were if we needed anything, I led Acacia to the office. Neither one of us spoke as we walked, once we reached the room I ushered her over to the two comfy chairs seated by the window. I curl up in one of the chairs, and sit quietly, giving her time to gather her thoughts. She sat rigidly in her chair, her hands gripped tightly on her lap. Her eyes were trained on the ground.

"Do you think it will ever become easier to bear?" Her eyes barely met mine as she spoke, "The memories? The nightmares? Do you think they will ever stop?" Her eyes looked so sad, and my heart hurt for her. I more than anyone understood her worries. I sometimes wonder if it'll ever get better. If I would ever have a night where I don't see their faces in my dreams. Where I don't heart their cruel words in my ears. I can only pray, that with time, I would eventually begin to heal.

"I hope."

"Do you still remember their voices? Their faces? Because... I can barely go a night without seeing them in my nightmares. I do not want to upset you more... I just... I do not know how to handle the memories." Acacia still kept her eyes trained on her lap, continuing to fiddle with her fingers.

"I haven't talked about it since Sebastian found me. I hate it. Seeing the looks of pity on their faces... Feeling the anger and guilt Sebastian feels... There are too many memories to sift through, and thinking of one brings all the others flooding in. Do you know what I mean?" I tilted my head slightly, meeting Acacia's eyes. My anxiety was momentarily forgotten as I bonded over terrifying memories with Acacia.

"I completely understand what you mean. Jace does not sleep. He worries about me too much. How am I supposed to tell him what happened? Why would I cause him more pain? He is so kind. So sweet. I do not want him to look at me with pity. I do not want him to see me as simply a weak runt. I want him to see me as a woman. His woman. I do not want him to just feel bad for me. I want to have a relationship just like everyone else." Acacia sighed in defeat.

"I sometimes worry about that t-too. I w-wonder if S-Sebastian wants me. As a woman. As a mate. The entire time I've b-been here it has been about regaining my health, getting comfortable. But, sometimes I want to forget everything that happened and just... be. Be Sebastian and Thea. Not the Alpha and the runt he saved." I was shocked that I said all of that. It was all true, but I had never voiced my worries to anyone. It was cathartic to let out all of my fears, and doubts. My mind felt lighter, the burden of my doubts lifted.

"I just want to be a normal girl. I do not want to be a tiny runt. I do not want to be weak. But, Jace says he loves me for who I am. He says I should celebrate my uniqueness. But what he does not know, is that I would trade in everything about myself that is unique to be normal. I simply want to be normal."

"It's d-difficult. All of the things S-Sebastian l-loves about me... I hate. All of the things he sees beauty in... I see weakness. I truly d-do not u-understand what beauty he sees. All I see is a weak runt."

*

Acacia and I sat there for a while talking about our insecurities and simply getting to know one another, but all too soon I remembered the burden sitting atop my shoulders. I remembered what bonded us in the first place. The horrors we survived. Horrors that someone else might be facing right now.

"Acacia. These people need to be stopped."

She looked surprised at my harsh tone, but she recovered quickly,

"I would think that would be an obvious statement, Luna." With her fractured English, I nearly missed the sarcastic tone of her voice. She was smirking lightly at me.

*

I stared, shocked.

She just giggled mischievously, and I couldn't help but join her. We probably looked certifiable. Nothing about the situation was funny, but laughing about nothing felt nice. It felt good to joke around, and I pretended for a moment that this was my normal. Laughing with friends. Telling jokes. Sharing stories, and gossiping about boys. But reality finally hit us and the laughing stopped.

"We c-can't let this happen to anyone else Acacia. No other wolf should suffer at those despicable creatures' hands. I c-can not s-sleep knowing that t-there is others out there. They h-have more v-victims. I k-know it. T-there are too many coincidences. Too many unanswered questions. S-something is w-wrong. V-very wrong. W-w have to s-stop them. B-before more wolves get hurt." I grasped the arms of my chair tight. My fingers turning white.

I didn't want this burden.

I didn't want this responsibility.

I didn't want to be responsible for saving lives.

I didn't want to be the reason another was hurt.

I didn't want that.

But I can not sleep knowing that there is something I could be doing to ease another's suffering. I can not sleep knowing another little girl, just like I once was, could be being ripped away from everything she ever knew. I could not let another person's life be ruined. I could not let those suffering spend another moment at their mercy. And Acacia and I were the only ones with the knowledge to find them.

"They must be stopped."


*

Hi lovely readers! Sorry for the cliffhanger, but things are gonna get a little more hectic soon for our dear characters. I can not say sorry enough for the late update. I just had a really bad case of writer's block and I didn't want to give you a bad chapter. I can be a bit hard on myself, and that leads to procrastination, lol. I hope this chapter doesn't suck. It kinda feels like a filler, but it's not meant as one so I hope you don't think that. I hope you like it. AHHH. SORRY. I'm just an anxious bean. Tell me what you guys think! I hope you like it, and if you haven't already check out my new book Alfa Fuar! It's going to be a different werewolf universe, and I'll probably continue writing in that. I already have a series developed for it, and I haven't decided if I'm going to make Little One a series. I don't think it would work. Alfa Fuar is going to be a series where each book is a different couple, who mainly will not interact. I don't know I haven't decided, but let me know what you guys think!

Love you all my amazing readers!

-ej

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