After they left I guess my brother told my parents what happened because they kept knocking on my locked door and apologizing repeatedly..telling me how much they love me.

All this time I thought i felt in love with Raymond... All these years...I've bin in love with Mason... Mistaking my love for Mason as my love for Raymond!.... Mistaking me dating Mason for Mason harassing me!.

I hated myself right now...I could only imagine what Mason must of went through, the heartbreak and the pain, and it wasn't his fault... I'm a terrible person.
  I kept myself locked up in my room all day despite my family's attempt to get me out

  I had my phone turned off..I don't know what time it is, all I know is that it's late in the morning the next day, I sat up on my bed staring at nothing..processing thought after thought.

  "Amelia?..can you here me?"

I looked up at the locked door when I recognized Mason's voice, I felt a twitch in my entire body the second I heard his voice.."Amelia please..let me in..'' He begged fondling with the door knob, I couldn't find my voice, my sweet Mason sounded really hurt.."baby talk to me.." I wanted to open the door..drag him in..and kiss him, but I needed time.

    "I love you Amelia.." I heard him sigh when I didn't respond..I could hear he was turning to leave.

    "I just need some time Mason.." I managed to get my voice back though it came out hoarse and cracky.."I understand..." He said exasperated..."I love you so much baby..." He whispered as if in pain, and with that he left.

  
  Thank God I have my own bathroom, I had to go...when I glanced at the bathroom mirror I looked terrible.. My eyes were red, puffy and swollen from crying.. The bags under my eyes suggested to my lack of sleep, my pale skin didn't help either.

    I heard a knock on my bedroom door, it distracted me from the painful features I had stabled on my reflection.. "Amelia honey..you need to get something to eat" mom spoke with a gentle voice.

    I was rather hungry to be honest but my stubbornness got the best of me..the inner me looked up at me with puppy eyes..nope.. Not falling for this..she rolled her eyes at me and slammed shut her bedroom door.

  
    "I'll leave the tray here sweety.." She whispered then retrieved down stairs.. My stomach growled.
  I opened my door discreetly and got the tray then locked it again, the inner me peaked from her bedroom door as i placed the tray on my bed, mom had made me pancakes with syrup and fruit, I took a few bites..they were quite tasty.
   I remembered the day Mason fed me pancakes with his hand.

     Those were by far the most delicious pancakes I've ever had..and the way he stuck his tongue in my mouth savoring me and the sweet syrup, I smiled blushing at the memory.
     A tear found it's way down my colorless cheek..I'm not even hungry anymore.

   With a swift move I found myself knocking the tray off the bed, heading to my window.. I opened it to get out, I had snuck out one time before to meet up with Hana, although I promised myself to not ever do it again because I got caught and  grounded for two months.
  I climbed down the tree right outside my window..I can't think of a better place for it.

I was wearing a casual T-shirt and sweatpants and it was a bit cold for an afternoon..I had left my phone in my room so I have no idea what time it is.
   I kept walking down my street.. I thought about going to see Hana or Ellie, but half way there I remembered that it's a school day.

   I laughed at myself sarcastically.. The only friends I thought I had god knows how younger than me are they. I wonder if I had friends in my past life, I wonder if I meant anything to anyone.

   My mind shot right back to Mason..of course I meant something for him..he loved me, he went through all the pain while I was stuck in the oblivious memory of mine..I didn't have to feel a thing, I wasn't the one who was been tortured mentally for two years.
  What if it was the other way around? What if Mason lost his memory and couldn't remember me? Would I have kept my proximity to him?..I shook my head from these squirming pointless thoughts until I found my self at the park.. Taking a seat I savored the cold breeze watching the small lake.
   There were about five ducks swimming around, I thought for a second about joining them..but it was too cold and I'm not a real good swimmer.

   "Amelia? What are you doing here?" I glanced up to the figure that spoke, my eyes softened the second I saw him for some reason..

  "Hey Jeremy.." He took a seat next to me.."what's wrong Amelia?" He smiled asking me .."there is nothing right to begin with Jeremy.. " I looked down at my feet..my red sneakers damped from the droplets of tears falling down my face at his simple question..

   "Hey..don't cry, I'm sorry I don't mean to step out of line.." He spoke with a worried tone.

"You really want to know?" I asked him with a calm voice despite the tears.."if you wish to grant me this information then I would gladly accept it.." I looked at him and he was smiling gently.

  
     "Damn that's a one fucked up story!" Jeremy exclaimed still processing what he had just heard..tell me about it.

   "Amelia.. You probably already know this but..this Mason guy is clearly madly in love with you, and you with him..the fact that you haven't talked to him since is...." I heard him sigh and I looked back at him.. "Look..you finally can be with him without judgment, it's like fate is giving you too an other shot..so why aren't you taking it?..trust me Amelia.. You do not want to ask yourself what if in the future, go to him, tell him how much you love him...you'll regret if you don't, the what-if  is going to eat you up".

     I felt like it was an epiphany for some reason.. And as cliché as it might sound...he's my one and only.

"oh excuse me.." Jeremy went through his pocket when his phone rang, I looked at his eyes when he picked up and they were sparkling.. "Yeah I'm actually here with Amelia..I got here early...I love you too" he took a deep breath smiling when he hung up, I couldn't help but notice the slight blush on his pale cheeks.."Luke says hi.." He informed me...oh ..Luke..the guy I set him up with Jeremy.."I didn't know you guys are still together" I exclaimed in amusement.

   "Yeah..thank you so much Amelia, he is truly the one for me..I love him so much, I gotta say though.. Sometimes he drives me crazy but..I guess that's why I felt for him in the first place"

   "For your own sake I hope you're talking about me.." Both Jeremy and me looked behind us when Luke spoke, Jeremy blushed.."hey baby.." Luke kissed Jeremy's cheek when we stood up then looked at me.."Amelia..I never had the chance to thank you about..you know.." He hugged Jeremy by the waist to his side.. "I owe you big times, he's the love of my life" his eyes held so much love and sincerity.."it was a pleasure.." I mirrored his features.

   "Hey Amelia..don't let the love of your life slip away, and..believe in yourself " Jeremy declared hugging his boyfriend from the waist..God they're so cute together.
I hugged both of them and went on my own way.

  "Where were you?!!" My mom and dad questioned the moment I stepped foot inside the house.."out.. " I said dryly and went straight to my room, the door was open..my dad probably got the spare key, the room was clean..I felt bad for throwing the tray to be honest.

   I went to my closet and got some jeans and a sweatshirt..put it on and grabbed my phone turning it on I saw that it's 7pm right now..no wonder they were worried, I didn't realize I was out all this time.
   There were a lot of missed calls and text messages and I mean a lot..from Hana, Raymond, Mason and my parents..the last one was from Jonah telling me to pick up the damn phone.

  I looked at Mason's texts..

*how are you feeling?*

*baby please answer your phone*

*why don't you want to see me??*

*I'll respect your decision whatever it was Amelia, just know that I love you so much..so much baby girl*

  My eyes teared up by the last text..