souls of flames

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"Look at them twinkling. So beautiful," he sighs.

I agree but I'm gazing over at him, studying the stars reflected in his eyes. I can see our future in his eyes, burning bright.

Please don't burn out.

"They're so far away they could have already burned out. They might not be alive but their light hasn't faded yet. People are like that too. You don't know which ones are already dead on the inside."

A single tear slips down my cheek as his fingers slip between mine.

"We're all stars Zayn, wrapped in skin. The light we seek has always been inside of us."

He rolls over in the grass, his body now on top of mine and his hands cupping my face.

"My star," his voice quivers. "Being with you is like taking a sip of eternity."

"Zayn," my tear evaporates under his warm lips. "Stay with me."

"I will babe."

"Even when my world grows dark?"

"I promise."

calcium in
our bones
and iron
in our veins
carbon
in our souls
souls of flames
we're made of
stardust,
lost stars
roaming
the Earth

"A billion stars spinning through the night,/glittering above your head,/But in you is the presence that will be/when all the stars are dead."

Rainer Maria Rilke. Fucking Rilke.

It's his turn to cry. He tries to keep the tears at bay but they gush out like a dam.

So I kiss him slow because it's all I know.

crumbling moons
and dying galaxies
beneath my skin
weeping
uninhabited planets
and lonely asteroids
lost in orbit
but then
he touches me
and my ebbing universe
bursts into life

"I was thinking about time and how we all just die like the stars. We rush around our entire lives trying to get ahead but then we all end up buried several feet under the grass."

He presses his ear to my chest and my heart pounds faster.

"Why is your heart beating now?"

"Because I'm alive."

"No," he whispers. "What makes your heart beat? Why do you wake up in the morning?"

Thump. Thump. Thump.

"You."

"Life is a gift Harry."

I know I'm young but I know what love is. This is love. Love is when your heart bursts at every word and your doubts melt away with every kiss. When you realize you don't want to throw it all away because you found someone that understands the darkest corners of your soul.

tired eyes
and happy sighs
red pens
and grade marks
tousled hair
and tangled sheets
lazy Sunday
afternoons
and the first sip
of coffee
the chill
of my lungs
and the ache
in my bones
for soft
amber eyes
and skin
caressed
by the sun
i'm still
just a kid
but i fell
in love
without knowing
what it was

"I hated you," I break the silence.

"What?"

"At the beginning of the year, I thought you were a prick just trying too hard to be real. The truth is you cared and I didn't want you to. I didn't realize I was hollow."

reaching into
my soul
and rearranging
my bones
rebuilding
my ribcage
so your heart
could
come home

"I thought you were quite possibly the smartest eighteen year old I had ever met and it worried me that you knew more about sad poetry than yourself."

"Sorry I cheated on my first essay."

He laughs cheerily and kisses my cheek.

"Sorry I kept you late after class. In all honesty, your stubbornness gave me an excuse to see your face a little bit longer and I savored that."

I gasp dramatically. "I'm sorry Mr. Malik, but are you insinuating that you have feelings for a student?"

"Hush," he murmurs against my lips. "You had to march in every day with that backpack slung over your shoulder and huff. That attitude is very sexy."

"I wrote about you in my notebook all the time. I'd share it with you but I was in denial and those thoughts have probably found their way to a landfill. I kept telling myself it was wrong to have feelings for someone other than Sam but I never had feelings for her."

"You know my mum was surprised when I started dating Mason but I explained to her that I wasn't necessarily gay, my heart just falls for certain people. It could have been a girl but it wasn't. Then he cheated on me and I swore to never fall in love again. That was a ludicrous idea, you can't just deny your heart something it wants."

"He had the entire world in his hands but he let it slip through his fingers."

His eyes meet mine and he chases my lips, his tongue dipping into my mouth.

When he pulls away I tug him back towards me, not wanting to be apart and my teeth nip at his neck.

"Harry," he says softly.

I stop and that's all we need to let everything come flooding out. He can't stop touching me, can't stop kissing my mouth, my cheek, my throat.

"You're my favorite poem," and his tongue runs along my collarbone. "Let me annotate you."

He slips my shirt off and our nipples graze. His lips and tongue inscribe words into my skin.

"I'll leave my poem in your mouth Zayn, so every time you breathe out to can hear the lines."

kissing me
connotatively,
you won't find
this in a dictionary
because nothing
can describe
the sweet air
filling my lungs
while i'm
simultaneously
out of breath

When his lips are done exploring his fingers brush through my hair.

"Am I your favorite student, your favorite star or your favorite poem?"

"You're just mine."

My heart trips at those words.

He's mine too, I hope he knows that. I hope he understands that his skin can share secrets and his mouth can mutter all of his fears.

"Pour yourself into me and I will not let a drop hit the ground."

He smiles and replies "I've always admired Rudy Francisco."

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