"There's something about waking up with you in my bed, it puts every other morning to shame," I heard Roman's voice, pulling me from my sleep.

My mouth smiled, as if it was automatic, as I stretched my body. I felt sore, but I don't know why I was surprised. Passionate sex will do that to you, I suppose.

"Good morning," I let out, opening my eyes. Roman was sitting on the bed, grey track pants covered the lower half of his body. His hair was wet, he had showered. I could smell his aftershave on him, and it only made me replay what happened last night in my mind.

"How did you sleep?" Roman asked me, his hand reached out towards me. He stroked my face with his thumb, delicately,

"Like a baby, I didn't even hear you get up," I mumbled, wrapping the sheets around my naked body as I sat up.

"I was quiet, didn't want to wake you," he said, the smile on his face growing even bigger.

"How nice of you," I joked, though, I guess it was pretty nice of him. That's Roman, though, isn't it? He's always nice to me. He's never been anything but nice to me, and I loved it.

"I didn't know what your plans were today," Roman started, making me pause, "but I kind of planned something. For us, to do together."

I stilled, wondering why he did that. "I have plans with Clara. I have to go over, help her with wedding and bridesmaid stuff."

"Oh, okay," Roman didn't seem phased. "Maybe after... tonight?"

"Roman," I sighed out. "I have to go back to Sun Lakes tonight."

Roman titled his head, a confused look on his face. "Why?"

"What do you mean why?" I asked him, not sure what he was getting at.

"I mean, why do you have to go back? What's keeping you there? You're done school, right? Stay here for a couple of days, while we figure everything out," Roman sounded like he didn't know what my problem was, but I didn't know what his problem was.

I looked up at him, a sinking feeling in my chest as I fought the urge that my body was screaming at me. I was scared. "What do you mean?"

"Us, Lilac. That's what we have to figure out." He said it as though it was the simplest thing in the world.

"I don't live here, Roman," I told him, as if I was remind both him and myself of that fact.

"Oh, don't give me that, Lilac. I know you don't live here, but that doesn't mean there things we need to figure out. I think last night was proof, there's always going to be an us." Roman told me, he sounded frustrated. "We've been a part for a year, and I know nothing has come close to what I feel when I'm with you, I'm pretty sure you feel that way too. You told me that last night."

"I know, Roman, I know, but I don't know if I can." I told him honestly, once my dress was on, I collected my heels, one from either side of the room.

"No one is asking you to, Lilac, I'm just asking you to stay for a few days, so we can figure out how we can make this work," Roman told me, his voice was still soft, though I could feel the pain in it. "I let you go once without trying, I'm not going to do it again."

Can't he see? I can't be here. I don't belong here.

"We could be so great together, Lilac. You have to give me the chance. I know last time, with everything going on, you couldn't. But you can now, you just have to try. Can I pick you up later? We can talk more? I'm not giving up on this," he told me, his eyes bouncing back and forth between each of my eyes.

"You say last time... like that's something that just happened and it's over. It's not just something that happened, and I'm all better now, Roman. It was three years of hell. Three years of abuse, it's never left me. Can't you see that? When I look at you, I get butterflies in my stomach. When you touch me, I feel like I'm about to fly. But you know what the worst part is?"

"What?" Roman's pained voice asked me. "What's the worst part?"

"The worst part is that I trust you," I told him. "I trust you so damn much."

"And why is that a problem?" He asked me, tilting his head as if didn't understand, before his eyes widened like he finally could see what I was saying. "You're scared I'm going to break that trust, like he did?"

"Yeah," I breathed. "I just... I don't know how to be the person you want me to be. I don't know how to be with you. I don't know how to be with anyone."

It was the truth, the reason all my relationships in the past year didn't last longer than a couple of months. When I started to trust them... I ran. I didn't want anyone breaking my trust again, not like Jesse did. I didn't want to give anyone that chance.

"You don't want to try?" He asked me, and I hated the pain in his eyes.

"I don't know if I'm ready," I told him.

He has to understand, doesn't he? I want him, but I can't have him. I can't have him because I don't want to be connected to this place anymore. I want to forget it, I want to forget what happened. I wanted to forget the way he saved me, the way he helped me. I wanted to forget those things, because I want to forget the things he saved me from. I want to forget the things he helped me from. That's what I've been doing the last year.

"Lilac," he said my name, "I get it. I get that you're scared, but you know that I'd never hurt you. You know that. I know that you know that."

I nodded, the emotions in my chest growing even larger at the pain in his voice. I wanted to stay, but I didn't know if I could.

I opened the door, he silently let me. I walked down the hall, trying to push my feelings of guilt away with each step I took. I was almost at the elevator, when Clara called me.

"I'm sorry," I answered the phone. "I'll be there in about twenty minutes, Clara. I'm just leaving Roman's."

"Why are you at Roman's?" She asked me instantly, amusement in her words.

"You know why I'm at Roman's," I said bluntly, walking past into the elevator. I pressed the ground floor button, a huff of annoyance leaving my mouth.

"Oh my god, I knew it. I knew it, I bet Samuel fifty bucks that you two would end up back together. I knew the minute you saw each other you'd remember the way you were crazy about him," Clara gushed out.

"Why are you not happy?" She asked me, she must have heard my sigh.

"Because, when I woke up this morning he asked me why I was going home tonight," I explained, watching as the numbers displayed on the screen decreased.

"And, why are you going home tonight?" Clara asked, obviously not seeing the problem.

"Because I don't live here anymore," I huffed out.

"You don't think he knows that?"

"It's not going to work," I stated. Why didn't anyone else see that?

"And why not?"

"I don't like being here. It reminds me of everything that happened," I told her honestly, surprised she didn't see that in the first place. "And... I don't know Clara, when I'm with Roman... it feels serious. It feels like this is it, like he's the one."

"And why's that a bad thing?"

"Because... there was a time I felt that way about Jesse, too." I explained.

"You're being an idiot," Clara told me, her voice stern.

"What? How?" I gasped at her, why wasn't she taking my side?

"You know how! You know what you and Roman have. You've always had it with him! I get you have trust issues because of Jesse, but, come on! There's no excuse. That boy loves you! He went to jail for you!"

"What?" I asked, taken off guard. "You told me they got off!"

"I lied, Lilly. I didn't want you to feel worse than you already did. They both did 21 days, and I bet Roman didn't even tell you that! He didn't want you to feel bad, either, because he loves you! He's loved you for the last year. He hasn't stopped asking about you, or talking about you. He loves you, and I think you love him too."

I stared at the elevator wall, blinking rapidly. I was trying to process her words, I was trying to come up with a rebuttal, but I couldn't.

"I know it hurts to be back, that's why I never asked you to visit. I know it's hard to trust him, I know. But, Lilly, don't you think it's worth it? Don't you think the feeling you get around him is worth it? Don't you think how he makes you feel is worth it? After all the things he's done for you, you can't even try?" Clara continued, each of her words sending a shock through my system.

She was right, wasn't she? "I have to go," I said into the phone.

"Go get him," Clara whispered, it sounded like she smiling. I paused for a second. Maybe I was wrong last night, maybe just because Samuel was her person now, it didn't mean she wasn't mine too.

I ended the call, shoving the phone back into my purse as I desperately pressed the button to Roman's floor. The elevator didn't seem to listen to me, the numbers still decreasing as we heading towards the lobby floor.

How could I be so stupid? How could I be so scared? How could I let someone like Roman slip away from me, from my own fear? My unfounded fear. He had shown me, of course he had, so many times now. He was who I needed, he was who I wanted. I couldn't let my fears get in the way anymore. I shouldn't be scared of being happy, because, that's what was happening... wasn't it? I was scared of being happy, in fact I was running from it. But I wouldn't let myself run any longer. I was tired of running.

I cursed as the elevator informed me we had reached the lobby. The doors in front of me opened,  and my hand was extended, already about to push the close door button so that I could go where I needed to be.

I needed to be with Roman.

But when the doors finally opened, my fingers instantly dropped. Roman was standing between them, panting as though he had sprinted a marathon. I understood quickly that he had ran down flights of stairs, and he must have done it fast. Fast enough that he beat the elevator.

"Lilac," he breathed, "just wait."

I didn't wait, however. I walked towards him, the three steps it took to exit the stainless steel cage. I placed my arms around his neck at the same time I jumped into the air. He caught me, because it's Roman, and Roman would never let me fall.

"No more waiting," I breathed. "You're right, you've always been right, Roman. You've always been right about me. You've been right even though I've lied, you've been right when I made mistakes, you been right when I've been scared. You're right, you're right for me. I know that now, I see it."

"Lilac," Roman whispered, as the elevator doors closed behind us.

"You were right when you said I could trust you, I know that. I think it's why I was so scared. I trust you, completely. But... after all these lies, can you trust me?" I asked him, and I was scared for his answer.

"You've never lied to me out of spite, Lilac, you've never lied to hurt me. You lied because you had to, you lied because you were protecting yourself. I understand Lilac, but... just one request?" Roman asked me, his eyes drifting over my face.

"Anything," I told him, and I meant it.

"No more lies," he smiled as he said it. "You don't need them anymore. You have nothing to protect yourself from now. I'll do that for you, I'll always protect you."

"You're right, again. I promise," I smiled back. "No more lies."

The End

Ah, such a bittersweet moment. Thank you guys so much for holding on till the end and taking this journey with me. This book was so different that what I originally set out to write, but I absolutely love the way it came out. Thank you to everyone who read it, who commented and voted. I read every single one of the comments! And I love you!

If you feel motivated to, you can leave a blurb about what you think about the book here, and I'll pick my favourites and put them at the beginning of the story.

There will be bonus chapters, so you can see Roman and Lilac in the future! So stay tuned for those.

And also, special shout outs to the day ones for this book. jungkook_musclebunny  stunningtothecore kennedi444  caniescape

Love you,
TELLA