My bones were begging me to go home and crawl under my covers. I didn't listen to my teachers as they stood in front of the classrooms, droning on about who knows what. I barely noticed any of the people who spoke to me. They didn't speak to me for very long, however, because I didn't care enough about any of them to try and continue the conversations they started.

It was a draining fatigue, settled right in the centre of my body. It was like a black hole, pulling all my energy deep inside it. I don't know where the black hole led to, all I know was it was somewhere far away from me.

I've never felt like this before. It wasn't a normal feeling of sadness. It was like I was standing at the bottom of public pool. I could see the feet of everyone else enjoying themselves. They were kicking on the surface. They were swimming, playing, laughing. My feet were glued to the tile. And I could only look up.

My mind was so damn busy. There was too much rolling through it. Every thought was pushing behind the one before it, like a traffic jam. Jesse. Clara. Brett. That night. The lies. The secrets.

There was too many things, and I couldn't do anything about them. I couldn't do anything about them because I was standing at the bottom of the pool, and my feet wouldn't move. I could only watch them float around my mind.

Jesse. Clara. Brett. That night. The lies. The secrets.

"Let's go eat." Clara said from beside me. We were standing at her locker, and she was carefully placing all of her textbooks in the exact order they were supposed to be. Clara kept her locker meticulously tidy. She efficiently organized all of her books by the order of her classes. Her notebooks and pens were grouped together, in corresponding order with the textbooks. I think she even dusted it every now and then. 

It was a far cry from my own locker, I thought as we began to walk to her car. I'm pretty sure my locker had a granola wrapper from last week somewhere in it.

It was a good metaphor for the completely different people that Clara and I were. She was organized. She was motivated. She had parents that were still together, and came to see her at every academic award ceremony. She was smart, independent. Sure, she went a little wild on the weekend, but that's just apart of who she is. She works hard, and she plays hard. She was going to go far in life, I had no doubts.

Well... she will go far in life, if our secret doesn't get out. I'm not sure what will happen if it does.

Me on the other hand, I wasn't organized at all. I didn't really care about school. I wasn't dumb, but my mind didn't work like Clara's. Not at all. I didn't have the picture perfect home life that she had either. My mom was great. She was a hard worker, but it was just me and her. It was hard for her to provide for us both, all by herself. She wouldn't be able to make it to any award ceremonies, because she more than likely would be working at the hospital. Not that I have award ceremonies to attend, however.

"What do you want?" Clara asked once we were in her car. It still had the new car smell wafting from the cream coloured leather. I was so jealous of her when her dad bought her this car. Life was easier then, I wish that was the extent of my worries now.

"I don't care, Clara." I sighed out, and my voice sounded like it was in defeat. "Whatever you want is fine. I'm not even hungry."

"Lilly, you have to snap out of it." Clara said. She turned away from the steering wheel, so that she was facing me. "It's not the end of the world."

"It kind of feels like the end of the world." I raised my eyebrows at her in questioning. She didn't seem to be as bothered about everything as I was.

"They're not going to tell anyone." Clara said confidently.

"How do you know that?" I asked her. Who knew what these boys were even capable of?

"Because." Clara turned back towards the steering wheel, pulling down the visor and checking her makeup in the mirror. "They'd be stupid to tell anyone. Everyone knows that Khalil is the one with the boat."

"Who says they won't turn on Khalil?" I asked her dubiously. I didn't think Brett and Jesse would go as far as trying to blackmail Clara and I into things that we clearly didn't want to do, so how would we know how far they were willing to go?

"They'd be stupid to. Khalil's dad is a lawyer." Clara shrugged, putting the car into drive and pulling out of the parking spot.

"So... what? We're supposed to call their bluff?" I asked her, confused. "If you didn't think they were serious then why would you sleep with Brett?"

"It's just easier to not make them upset. They're boys after all. Boys make stupid decisions when they're upset. Or mad. Or jealous." Clara told me.

"Boys are stupid in general." I muttered. "I don't want to get back together with Jesse, though."

"Just pretend, Lilly. Like you've been doing." Clara said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "What's the worst thing that can happen? It's not like Jesse is going to hurt you."

I didn't answer. Clara always knew when I lied, and I wasn't going to give her any opportunity to drag those secrets out of me. Those were my secrets.

"We just have to ride it out for a little while." Clara continued. "They'll forget about it. Everyone will."

"So you keep saying." I tutted.

"And I'm always right, aren't I?" Clara chimed out. She sighed as a familiar beat blasted through the audio system. Clara hated this song. I don't know why she kept it on her playlist. She did the same thing every time it played, she hurried to change it.

"Where the fuck is my phone?" Clara asked in annoyance as she darted her eyes between the road in front of her and the centre console, where she usually kept her phone.

"I don't know." I said flatly, partly in annoyance and partly because I was finding it hard to care about anything as simple as a phone and a song right now.

Clara leaned over the console, looking down at the space by my feet. She kept peering back at the road every other second, her left hand and her knee keeping the steering wheel in place. Her right hand was reaching around the floor by my feet.

"Where the fuck is it?" She muttered, whispering a few more choice cuss words.

"I don't know. Can you watch the road?" I said tensely, feeling suddenly anxious in the way she was driving. Clara was good at most things. She was good at school, she was good at student council. She was good at giving blowjobs, so she tells me.

She wasn't good at driving.

And that fact was confirmed only a second later. I watched as the back of the silver car becomes closer and closer to us. I felt Clara's panic ooze into the air as she noticed just a millisecond too late. I heard how quickly her body moved as she sat back upright as quickly as possible, trying to step on the brake pedal as fast as she could.

She was too late, however, because I felt the rock of the car as we slid into the back of the silver car. My body jolted forward, the seatbelt tightening against my chest.

"FUCK." I heard Clara shout out, the sound of her fist thumping against the dashboard in frustration. I don't know what she would be frustrated at. Besides herself. This was her fault.

"Great." I whispered, raising my hand to my neck as I twisted it, trying to ease the sudden tension that build up in the muscles. No doubt from the whipping motion it did when the car jolted forwards.

"Are you okay?" Clara turned to look at me, and I took back every annoyed thought I had about her when I saw there were tears in her eyes.

"I'm okay. Are you?" I asked her, reaching out to grab her hand.

"My fucking car." She said, her voice cracking. "My dad is going to be so pissed."

"Maybe it's not so bad." I told her, trying my best to keep my voice calm. "Let's go see."

Have you ever gotten into a fender bender in the middle of a packed street? Knowing everyone's eyes are on you as you step out of the car and onto the road. It's embarrassing. I tried not to look around at all the curious eyes as we exited the car. Whoever was in the silver car that we hit still hadn't climbed out of their car yet, so we were free to inspect the damage ourselves. Without the, no doubt, very angry person who owned that car breathing down our necks in frustration, I'm sure.

"Oh my god." Clara said as she saw the busted end of her beloved car. It wasn't that bad, but it was bad enough that she would need to get it fixed. The front bumper was dented at the bottom, the white paint scratched and mixed with the silver paint of the other car.

"Oh my god is right." I heard a male voice say. Clara turned first, and I watched her reaction. She looked scared, when she first heard the voice. I watched as her expression changed from fear, to intrigue, and then into what looked like relief.

I turned my head in curiosity, knowing that those words likely came from the other driver in the accident. I knew instantly what caused Clara's look of intrigue. Standing before us were two, very hot teenage guys.

I looked at the one closest to me first. I could see the tattoos peeking through the ends of his sleeves. He wore baggy, stylish clothes with black hair that was perfectly styled. He was looking Clara up and down with a smirk on his face.

When I looked at the other guy, my stomach lurched with a feeling of familiarity. I knew that leather jacket. I knew those blue eyes.

"Lilac Green." He didn't smile as he said my name.