Chapter 34 - The Elia Dera Show

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Ariel returned home late in the evening, exhausted and looking forward to a relaxing hot bath fragranced with her favourite lavender bath bomb.

While walking past the living room, she noticed that Andy, Rita, Mr and Mrs Johnson who were staying over for the week, sat together with eyes glued to the huge flatscreen TV on the wall in deep silence. Laughters and claps and that familiar male voice could be heard from its speakers.

"I wonder if he's going to say anything about Ariel," said Mrs Johnson.

"Who's gonna say what about me?" Ariel interrupted.

Everyone almost jumped in fright, for they were too focused on the screen to notice her.

"Erm...nothing," said Rita.

"Rita, lying is bad, remember?" reminded Andy.

"Tell me who," insisted Ariel.

"Leon Waltz," said Andy, snacking on a huge bowl of popcorn with anticipation. "He's on The Elia Dera Show!"

Ariel grimaced at the mention of Leon Waltz.

"Do you wanna watch it?" asked Mr Johnson.

"Dad!" Rita tried to hush him.

"It's okay. Not interested," Ariel replied in a tired voice.

She motioned towards the staircase when she heard Elia Dera suddenly mentioning her name.

Elia: Let's talk about one of your former lovers, I mean chef, Ariel Lee,

(audience laughs)

Turning around, Ariel found herself staring at the TV screen. She fidgeted with her fingers while her toes curled in and out in rising anxiety.

Leon looked healthier, flashing his trademark boyish smile with a relaxed, casual attitude. He sat with one leg across, facing Elia Dera who wore a baroque wig made out of white paper, with paper cuts of flowers, leaves and butterflies that nestled in between paper curls. How on earth could she balance that hideous headdress which she would only wear once? Her bright blue eyeshadow and bright red lips, along with her weird but matching blue, yellow and red lacy dress make her looked like she was the star of the show rather than Leon!

On the table between them laid some of Leon's skincare products and his latest album. It was part of his self-promotion on the show.

Leon: (Looks pleasantly surprised) Why? Am I not the star here?

(audience laughs)

Elia: Well, she replaced you as the face of Fujita sauces, so any hard feelings?

Leon: (Wipes his forehead with a sigh of relief) Phew! At least I don't have to eat those sauces each and every darn day anymore.

(audience laughs and claps)

Elia: Being in the same house for almost a year, I'm pretty you both have "bang bang"ed already?

Leon: (confused) "Bang bang"ed?

Elia: Not this bang bang (shapes hand into a gun), but the big BANG BANG (Elia hand gestures sex).

(audience laughs)

Disgusted, Ariel demanded Andy go to his room immediately.

"But Mum, I wanna watch!" he protested.

"This show is NOT for kids, so just go to your room!" Ariel raised her voice with a stern look.

"Listen to your mummy, dear. I'll bring you up to your room. Perhaps we can read a story together," said Mrs Johnson.

Sulking, Andy stomped off and Mrs Johnson followed after him.

Ariel forced herself to watch the rest of the show, anxious as to what Leon was going to say next.

Leon: (Smile subsides) Is that funny?

Elia: What's funny? The first "bang bang" or the second "bang bang"?

Leon: (Looks annoyed) Seriously, didn't you agree that you'd-"

Elia: Bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang [...] ! (shoots out words like a bullet while standing up and thrusting her hips in a crude way) One hot chick per BANG! Did I get the headcount correct? Including that chef, yeah?

(audience laughs ferociously and claps)

Leon: (Looks tense and embarrassed, shaking his head disapprovingly)

Elia: Really, no?

Leon: Look, the only "bang" that happened was when she took the bullet to save my life...and you're making a joke out of it!

(audience goes silent)

At this moment, Ariel thought, Com'on, walk away....why don't you just storm off, like you always do!

Elia: Oh, it was virginal between you two?

(audience laughs)

Leon: (Looks very displeased) I've made myself clear and I don't wanna go into that.

Elia: So are you single?

Leon: That....erm...(pretends to look confused)

(audience goes ooh)

Elia: Do I have a chance with you? (poses in a funny flirtatious way and flashes a grin with a flying kiss)

Leon: (Clears his throat) I'm afraid you'll have to join the queue.

(audience laughs and claps as Elia flashes an expression of mock surprise)

Elia: I don't mind being your number 666 on the waiting list.

(audience laughs)

Leon: That'll be one very exhausting list!

Elia: BANG! (Smacks her own bum)

(audience laughs along with Elia)

Elia: Everyone, let's give a round of applause to Leon Waltz!

The show ended with a roar of applause and the live jazz band playing with the ending credits scrolling past the screen.

A disgruntled Ariel was confused as she was dumbfounded.

That insensitive clown, Elia Dera!

Why did Leon agree to go on such a controversial talkshow in the first place? It seemed out of place that he'd be okay to parade himself like a joke, knowing full well he was notorious for keeping his privacy.

"That was crude!" Rita was indignant. "Can't believe it!" She took the remote control and switched off the TV.

"Did he say anything more about me earlier on?" asked Ariel.

Rita shook her head, "Nope, not once. Until Elia asked him, which was what you saw just now."

"Actually, he kinda did you a favour," remarked Mr Johnson. "By getting the world to laugh at him instead of at you."

Ariel pulled her lips to one side with downcast eyes. Somehow, she appreciated Leon's attempt to circumnavigate Elia's question regarding her. That was no easy feat! Nevertheless, she was cross at Elia Dera unfairly dragging her into this and even downplaying the severity of the traumatic gala night and their personal pains. She would see that Elia was banned from her restaurant!

Reading Ariel's body language, Rita felt the urge to let the cat out of the bag, "Actually Ariel, remember the incident at the park?"

Upon being reminded about the incident, the anger that Ariel felt towards Elia Dera was being further incensed by the memory of how Andy was treated by Leon and ridiculed by the public, so much so that her headache spot started to throb.

"Leon doesn't want us to tell you this. But actually, at the park, that was not-"

"Please Rita," Ariel raised her hand to stop her from speaking. "As I said, don't mention him anymore, ok? Tonight is more than I can handle. It's making me sick now," Ariel rubbed her headache spot and went upstairs to her room.

-----

"You've pulled it through! Although I've got to admit, I was worried on-set that you were going to screw up again after you told Elia off," beamed Arnold as he showed Leon the news that his televised interview with Elia Dera was the most-watched channel that day with millions tuning in worldwide.

"That Elia Demon is the VILEST snake I've ever had to deal with!" Leon complained.

Before the start of the show, Elia Dera promised that she would not mention the gala night incident, the sex scandal or his previous chef, and accepted that Leon did not have to sing on stage, which was the only regret he had. During the early part of the show, it went well with Leon promoting his album and his skincare line, and playing the part to joke along while she threw challenging and prying questions at him.

However, being the controversial figure that she was, Elia Dera obviously did not keep the end of her bargain. Viewer numbers were far more important than the celebrity himself. If it were not for Sheldon Avon observing him from a distance with folded arms, Leon would have loved to storm off the stage or give her a good punch! Instead, he was forced to endure the whole show through and tried his hardest to keep his cool.

"Com,on now, it's not like you've never done a talkshow before," reminded Arnold. "Besides, you know Elia Dera is a tough one. But anyone who's been on her show will get double the popularity."

Leon rolled his eyes at him, "At least, those talkshows were more tolerable and not that crazy. Elia is a totally different ballgame. She's the pure definition of EVIL who makes me puke!"

Arnold laughed it off.

After the show was aired, angry Leon fans criticised the way Elia Dera handled the interview while others praised Elia for doing the impossible by ridiculing the star himself. Nevertheless, the talkshow garnered a lot of publicity for Leon and he hoped that the only good thing it could do was to boost his album and skincare sales.

"Well, I'm glad to have you back on track. Now, I can get you booked on sitcoms," said Arnold.

"Sitcoms?" Leon did not sound keen. "Is that all I can do?"

Arnold shrugged, "What else can you do?"

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