2 ~ Frankenstein

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School used to be my favorite place.

My friends and I would spend every break between class talking. Lunch was filled with childish arguments and food fights to pass the time. I would pick off Ella's lunch just because I knew she wouldn't finish it. My biggest goal was getting kids to laugh in class just because I could.

Life isn't like that anymore.

I trudge into Lit, offering Aunt Mel a nod as I force myself into the small desk right by hers. It's the only class I willingly sit in the front for. Being the teacher's favorite has its perks. I can sulk and she won't force me to talk.

She stands in front of us as the bell rings, fidgeting with engagement ring my uncle spent a small fortune on. "Frankenstein. We've been reading it, what can you tell me about it?"

No one says anything, sharing a paranoid glance at who'll be forced to talk. Something tells me half the kids didn't do the reading.

Being dyslexic means I often get stuck in the classes with the stupider kids. I didn't even think those types of classes could exist at a school like Riverview, but I get proven wrong every year.

Sighing, I decide to help my teacher out. "Frankenstein and his monster represent God and Adam."

"How so, Mister Rhodes?"

"He creates this monster, convinced he's doing something wonderful, but then he abandons it." I start. "All the monster wanted was love and affection, and his creator ruined him with hate and resentment."

"What else?"

"Once the monster has grown to despise his creator, the man feels like he must terminate it." Half the kids in this class don't understand a word I'm saying. "His entire life was ruined because he refused to take care of what was his."

She nods in approval, proud that I actually care about this class. Reading might suck but I love it.

"I disagree."

Mel blinks and it takes all my effort to not scowl as I turn to see who spoke.

"How so, Miss Hale?"

A girl I've never seen before shrugs, tucking a strand of black hair behind her ear to reveal a row of piercings. "The monster should've never been created to begin with. It's unnatural for man to play creator. By insinuating that Frankenstein is playing God, you're insinuating that mankind is a mistake."

"But isn't it?" I push. "Eve ate the apple, damning us all. God flooded the Earth because his creation was so wicked that he needed to clean the slate. He punished the Israelites into slavery and sent diseases to plague the Earth."

"Eve made the choice to eat the apple."

"Adam didn't stop her, some actually interpret it as man's ability to let women take the fall." I argue. "That's even more fitting. Both Frankenstein's wife and an innocent maid had to die while he survived."

She glares at me, "It would've made no difference if the creation was shown love or not. A monster is a monster, there's no getting around it."

"People can change." I offer bitterly.

"You think too highly of mankind if you believe that." She snaps.

She's literally a human being, what the hell could she have to argue that?

"Alright, thank you both for participating." Melissa clears her throat, forcing the class to forget about our spat. "Please write short responses for these questions, I'll be taking them up. And don't forget about your essay, the rough draft will be due soon."

Great, there's a reason I enjoy speaking.

Halfway through the first question I'm ready to give up, not in the mood to decipher every word. A sticky note is placed on my desk.

Take your time and do what you can. I'm positive you're the most informed about the book

Sending her an appreciative glance, I continue on. Her grace is appreciated but I don't deserve special attention.

*****

Lunch is interesting.

Grabbing a sparkling water from the lunch line, I head over to my new normal table. The twins wave, tossing an aluminum foil ball at my head as I sit.

"That's a nice way to earn the ladies attention." I tease them, taking note of a few other freshman besides Conner and Sam at the table.

"Your faced was asking to be hit." Silver shrugs, shoving a Cheeto in his mouth.

I snort, splitting the brownie Saffron packed in my lunch in half and giving it to my brothers.

They inhale it, chocolate smeared all over their faces.

"How come Saff let you have one of her special desserts?" Sterling pouts.

"The perks of her thinking I have a broken heart." I smirk. Even though my heart isn't broken, and I don't like sweets.

My baby sister is sweet for caring and I'll be the last person to rain on her parade.

Sam glances down at his sandwich, uncomfortable by the change in topic.

"Dude, it's not your fault." I nudge him.

"It just pisses me off my sister decided to be a bitch." He offers, cracking his knuckles.

Sam being Stella's brother does make this weird, but he's not the one being a bitch. The anger is appreciated but he's still her brother. "Stella and Ella are old enough to be responsible for their own actions, don't hold a grudge."

They need space. I guess I never really understood what a burden I was.

"Well, Stella's barely replied to my texts." He mutters, "Mom's three seconds from flying to New York to hit her with a rolled-up newspaper."

I've been whacked by Kim before, it's not a pleasant experience. "If she goes, I want to tag along."

I could use the entertainment.

"Want to trade?" Conner asks. "My sister's never been so attentive in my life."

Now that's not fair. "Avery is just trying to make up for all the failings of your parents." There's a lot she's trying to compensate for. My aunt and uncle and grandparents have a special place in hell waiting for them. "Don't let your desire to be a douchey teen ruin all the good she's trying to do."

I know how hard she's working to be there for him.

"You're right." He admits, looking a little guilty.

The twins convince Sam to pour an entire bag of peanut m&m's into his mouth and I watch to make sure no one dies. At least lunch is still a party, I'd be miserable if my entire day was boring.

"Looks like where there's a Rhodes, there'll be a freak show." Wes sneers, slapping the back of Sam's head as he stands over our table.

He begins to choke on the m&m's, and I hold out a plastic bag for the kid to spit them out.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I demand, handing Sam a bottle of water. "He literally could've died."

"Don't be so dramatic, Hollywood." He glares. "Unless you're afraid of another loss."

I try to jump to my feet and Sterling holds me back, clearly not happy to do so. "If you want to talk shit about my dead parents, I kill you."

"Easy, big sis isn't here to save the day." He taunts, stealing one of my celery sticks. "Although, I wouldn't mind seeing her again."

It's my turn to hold the twins back, "Go crawl back to your table or the trash can, whichever is closest."

Hopefully it's the trashcan.

He winks at me before sauntering back to his table. The girl from lit catches my eye and my glare deepens when Wes sits beside her.

Looks like horrible people really do attract each other.

"Can we accidentally hurt him during practice?" Silver asks, aggressively tearing into his sandwich.

"As team captain, I can't knowingly let you do that." I say. "Yet."

A few more smart comments might have me magically becoming deaf.

Wes Michaels has been an insignificant person in my life until this year. We've gone to school together since we were in kindergarten. Technically, we were neighbors back when my family lived in Oak Hill. We've played football and baseball on the same team since t-ball and pee-wee.

We were never friends, but I have no idea what warranted such hate. He's an asshole and I'm not a part of the growing fan club that's taken over our school since Ashton left. Wes Michaels is not a God and I'll fight whoever wants to change my mind.

He's not worth the scum on my shoe.

*****

Practice runs late, Coach Edwards making us all run since Zayne failed his stats test. We don't stop 'till half the team is throwing up or collapsed.

This is just another reminder that I need to thank Ashton for waking my ass up to run in the morning last year.

And the twins should too, along with Conner, because they're the only Freshmen still standing.

Trudging into the locker room, I quickly shove my stuff into my bag and motion for my brothers to hurry up.

"Where's the fire?" Wes calls out, pulling his soaked shirt off.

"No fire, just want to get away from your rancid ass." I shrug, grabbing Silver's book bag so we can go.

"Funny, didn't Ella say the same thing when she dumped your ass?" He counters and I stop.

For a second the hole in my chest throbs and I think I might collapse before anger takes its place. How dare he run his mouth like he knows anything about what happened that night. Sterling nudges me and with one last glare, I resume my dash to the car.

Hurrying outside, I don't pay attention to what I'm doing. Meaning I accidentally hit someone with the metal door as I practically shove the twins out.

"Sorry." I extend a hand, wanting to pull it back when I realize who it is.

Miss Hale ignores my hand, pulling herself back to her feet. "I see you're just as reckless outside of the classroom."

"Your boyfriend should be out soon, maybe he can help pull out the stick shoved up your ass." I spit, running for my car.

Tossing the keys to Silver as I shove the bags in the back, I almost forget my seatbelt before driving off.

"Scarlett's study session got out five minutes ago." Sterling informs me, scrolling through his phone.

Great. Her schedule almost perfectly fits ours except for the mandatory study sessions she has once a month. It just happens to land on the day Mark and Liz have work meetings, Abuela has bingo and the girls have karate.

I understand why Scarlett is always so stressed out more and more every day.

Coach would let me leave early if I told him, but I don't want special treatment. I'm the captain, if there's a practice I plan on being there. 

"Can we have pizza for dinner?" Silver asks as I pull into the parking lot.

"No." I state, hopping out of the car.

The girls are waiting for me, arms crossed and lips pursed.

"Took you long enough." Saffron sasses, throwing her bag at me.

"We thought we'd have to sleep here." Ronnie adds, climbing in the back seat.

"I'm surrounded by drama queens." I mutter, tossing their bags in the back with the rest.

The drive home is spent with the windows down because everyone smells and the music blaring with everyone singing along.

Moments like these make the dull drag of life a little better.

*****

After showering, I throw on sweats and scour the kitchen for food.

We have pasta, which we ate last night, half a container of turkey, and some frozen hamburger meat.

Silver walks in, his brown hair dripping with water. "All you have to do is press one button."

Checking the time, I weigh the pro's and con's. There's 20 minutes 'till Scarlett is home. "Hand me the phone."

He grins, already dialing the number.

Twenty-five minutes later the front door opens, pulling me from trying to help the girls with their math homework.

"Funny, I don't remember ordering pizza." Scarlett offers, carrying the four boxes into the kitchen.

"Busted." Saffron mutters, running to hug our older sister.

"Someone forgot to thaw the hamburger meat." I explain, shoving the homework aside as the twins run into the kitchen.

"It's a good thing I'm too tired to cook." She grins, grabbing paper plates from the pantry.

Lucky me.

*****

Sitting in my room, I toss a tennis ball against the wall.

Thud. Bounce. Thud. Bounce.

The noise gives me something to focus on, distracting me from the empty holes on my walls.

If I focus on the tennis ball, I can't remember the beautiful, smiling face that used to fill the gaps. I can't recall that the upper right hole used to be a picture of us on Halloween my 5th grade year. Or that the one in the dead center was me tilting her at prom my sophomore year, kissing like we were in a movie.

Nope, I have no recollection of the memories I took down. Just like she magically erased the last 12 years of our lives, so could I.

Bounce. Thud. Bounce. Thud. 

"Bubs, are you okay?" Scarlett asks, leaning against my now open door frame.

Taking in her tired eyes and Ashton's old sweatshirt, I force a smile. "I'm great, Scar, why?"

Her eyes follow the tennis ball's path. "I just wanted to make sure, you've been pretty quiet these last few days."

She's expecting a breakdown, I'm not stupid. I catch the lingering eyes and hushed whisperings of my siblings when they think I'm not looking. I'm not a china doll.

"There's not much to report." I shrug, tossing the ball again. "I owned the class discussion on Frankenstein today."

"Really?" She perks up.

"Yeah, Melissa seemed pretty proud." Even if other students seemed to disagree.

"Want to talk about it?" She asks eagerly.

"No." I shake my head. "Last time we did that you ruined the entire book."

I loved The Glass Castle and half-way through she spoiled the ending, I was pissed. Not that I should've been surprised, Scarlett's been spoiling endings since we were kids. She just gets too excited to keep it in.

"Fine." She pouts, going to close the door. "If you put a hole through my wall, I'm kicking your ass."

I wait till she closes the door to continue, the sound distracting me from my thoughts long into the night.

Bounce. Thud. Bounce. Thud. The sound follows me into my dreams.

*****

I've been broken up with Ella Marie Mackenzie for 6 days and while the pictures have been removed from my wall, my social media is still packed with memories.

Ignoring the notifications, I scroll through my old posts. My heart hurts as I'm reminded of everything from dropping her off at the airport to her visiting me over the summer at camp. Mindlessly, I archive the posts without stopping to read the captions or her comments professing her love to me.

It's easier that way.

What's difficult is deciding which group pictures I leave up. Ella's always been a main focal point in my life. Even before we started dating my sophomore year, we were together. Does she win if I delete everything?

Would my Instagram even be worth having if I let her ruin all my posts?

So instead I untag her from every picture and delete all of her comments. It's a perfect plan until I accidentally read her comment underneath the post from last years Christmas party. The first picture is of me and Ashton under the mistletoe, but the second was with her.

EllaMak

I love love love you stupid. You're the best present I could've ever asked for and I never have to return you!

Well, jokes on me because she did return me. Right to my own front porch, expedited shipping and everything.

After that, it's like I'm in a trance. I read every comment before deleting it.

Us at Thanksgiving reads, thankful for you today and forever.

Halloween it's my favorite disco diva, no one else I'd rather trick into a treat!

When she was on homecoming court and lost queen to Scarlett and princess to Avery, the comment is: I might not be a queen but I have my king.

It's an endless cycle until I'm at my first ever Instagram post. Us with Scarlett and Stella hanging upside down on the Monkey Bars in middle school. Despite everything that's happened, I laugh remembering that day. It was the first time we were ever able to go to the park by ourselves.

We thought we were badasses.

Ella fell and I carried her all the way back home.

You can't tell by the picture but he's my hero.

Even if I untag her and delete her comment, it still shows up that she liked my pic. Wondering what her profile looks like without my name in the bio, I tap on it.

That's when I learn reading her old comments was a nicer punishment. I'm completely erased. Even if it was a group picture, it's gone. All of our prom pictures, vacations, football games just deleted.

There's nothing about her life here. Nothing about me or Scarlett or Ashton or her parents even. We've all been erased.

What I do notice is a picture of her and Stella on a night out. It pains me to think it, but as I click on the image, I can't help but notice how beautiful she looks.

Her caption is simply Something they can never take away.

However, the comments all repeat one phrase, go look at Stella's post.

Clicking over, the caption has me ready to chuck my phone at the wall.

StellaGH

Raise a glass to freedom.

This is a joke, but I know them. They hated Hamilton, never let us play the music around them because they hated it that much. Scarlett wanted to originally be the Schuyler sisters for Halloween last year and they flat out refused.

Freedom.

Like I was holding her back. Like I was manipulating her to stay with me. I never once told her what to do, I cheered her on every step of the way. She wanted to move to New York, and I helped her pack. She wanted to ignore her parents, even though they're all the family she has, and I kept my mouth shut even if I disagreed.

She lived her own life and I let her. Just like I thought she let me live mine.

The comments are going wild. I guess now I know why I had so many notifications, everyone is tagging me asking one question.

Did Ella break up with Sage?

She wants to play this game? My Ella hated confrontation and drama. She ran to the bathroom to hide every time someone even raised their voice. To start internet drama knowing there are hundreds of bored teenagers on the internet way too involved with my family's life. That's a new low.

But if she wants to play dirty, so can I.

Scrolling through my photos, I stop on the one I took a month ago with Gabe. I spent the weekend in the city with him, Drew and Emmy. We were getting his car from a parking garage and we decided to try out Drew's camera.

Since Emmy is afraid of heights and Gabe is a chicken, I agreed to sit on the ledge. For reasons I don't want to know, Gabe had a sparkler in his car. I lit it and hoped on the edge and for a moment I felt invincible.

Being up that high, nothing else mattered. I couldn't hear the hustle of people living lives they probably hate. I couldn't see the cars backed up, trying to leave the city everyone wants to desperately visit.

I was nothing more than a soul observing the world and I loved it.

Ella pouted, insisting she was the only one allowed to take pictures of me.

Hitting post, I go to warn my sister of my retaliation.

Grabbing a container of Oreo's from Silver's hands, I go upstairs to find Scarlett folding laundry.

"Hey, Scar, I posted something about the breakup." I offer like I didn't spend the last hour reliving my entire social media relationship.

Paling, she freezes.  "What happened, did someone say something to piss you off?"

The look in her eyes shocks me every time I

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