13 ~ Laughing

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"Peanut butter and jelly."

"What?" I ask Zayne as he joins me in the halls.

"You strike me as a peanut butter and jelly type of guy." He reasons. "Personally, I'm more of a Nutella fan myself."

"Oh, no. El–" I stop myself, hating how natural the words are. Ella hates peanut butter. "I like both."

"I respect a man of variety." He nods, not mentioning the slip up if he noticed at all.

"Why?"

"Because we're talking about taking a trip to a cabin the weekend after Thanksgiving break and Maggie likes to plan ahead." He reasons. "I had to know which you'd prefer."

"Why?" I ask again, no more informed than I was minutes ago.

"Because you're coming with us."

"Really?" I ask in disbelief before realizing something. "I can't."

"What do you mean you can't?" He protests. "Sage, I swear if this is some lame ass anti-social attempt to avoid hanging out with us it's too late."

I'm not anti-social. "Maybe if you gave me more than three weeks' notice we'd be having a different conversation."

He snorts, clearly knowing this wasn't a possibility three weeks ago.

"I have a wedding shower and then we're going to Alabama to watch Ashton play." I shrug. "My plans are non-negotiable."

"Sounds fun." He doesn't call me a lair, which I appreciate. "We'll definitely be going again, and I expect your ass to be there."

"Sure thing." I grin, genuinely meaning it. I've never gone anywhere with a group of people that didn't include my sister.

He ducks into class and I wander down to AP Bio, fighting the urge to share my news with Scar. Be cool, Sage, they just invited me on a trip. Nothing to flip my shit over.

Finding Chloe in my seat, scribbling down blurred thoughts into her notebook, I move her.

"Don't do that." She says as I force her chair over.

"I need the leg room." I say, making myself conformable. She glares, clearly unimpressed and I offer her a wink. "Peanut butter or Nutella?"

"Do not ask me that question." She forces her book shut.

"Something tells me Zayne wasn't the one who asked you."

"No, it was Maggie and I'm ready to shove a sock in her mouth." She complains. "Beer or vodka? Lunch meat or frozen meals? Extra blankets or a heater? Do you like s'mores? Maybe we should do s'mores."

She groans, resting her head on the table. "Someone sounds annoyed."

"I am." She blows a strand of hair out of her eyes. "But she's Maggie so I can't get annoyed."

"Why not?" I ask and instantly she sits straight up, interested in her pen. "Chloe."

"Maggie has had it rough. Worse than most and she's obviously a little..."

"Easily flustered?" I offer.

"Sure, I would never snap at her." Chloe admits, drawing a spiral. "So I deal with her obsessive worrying."

"You're a good friend." I inform her. That's the type of thing Scarlett would do. "How long have you been best friends?"

"We aren't." She shrugs. Doesn't seem like that to me but maybe that's how she prefers it. "Wes and Zayne are friends. Through Wes I met Zayne and through him I met Maggie. She annoyed the ever-loving shit out of me with her smiles, but I suppose everyone needs a little sunshine."

"Especially those who wear all black." I poke her.

"You got an issue with how I dress, Gigantor?"

"No, just making an observation." Maggie really is sunshine, and I think she attracts those who need it the most.

*****

"I have a request." I inform Chloe Wednesday morning, handing her a smoothie.

"You always want things." She protests, throwing her hair in a ponytail.

"This request comes from your number one fan." She sends me a puzzled look. "Saffron would like for you to come home with us so she can spend time with you."

"Why?"

"Blame it on the need for attention since Scar is so busy." I offer.

"Your sister doesn't pay her any attention?" She asks in alarm.

"No, she does." I explain. "It was a joke. Saffron is just very intrigued by you."

"Why?"

"Because you're short and scary." I laugh. "You're the future her and she knows it."

Sipping on her drink, she sighs. "Sure, I'll tell Wes."

Good, Squirt will be pleased and if she's happy, I'm happy.

*****

Lunch has become a steady pattern of transitioning between my two friend groups. I eat with my brothers on Tuesdays, Thursdays and some Fridays if they're planning videos. The other days I'm with Zayne and crew.

"Look, I'm just saying that if Kia Gerber walked in this room right now, I would not sleep with her." Zayne says confidently.

"Maggie is not here, you don't have to lie." Wes informs him. "And that is a bold-faced lie if I've ever heard one."

"It's not." He stands firm. "She's not my type."

"She's everyone's type!" Wes covers his face. "I knew this relationship would be the end."

"Grow up, Michaels." Zayne sighs. "Sage, back me up."

Obviously, I would not sleep with her, I have a girlfriend. But I don't. It's okay to think about girls again. I'm not in a relationship. "Let's be honest, boys, I have the best chance of hooking up with her."

"Bullshit." Wes rolls his eyes, clearly keeping some thoughts to himself.

"She's a model, I'm a giant. She's beautiful, I'm hot as fuck. She's famous, I'm internet famous." I smirk. "The stars just align for lucky bastards like myself."

"I'm glad someone thinks so." Wes mutters.

Zayne gets a text and is instantly up, "Maggie needs a hug."

I'm sorry, what?

"That's just sad, man." Wes shakes his head and I want to agree. We're eating.

"What?" Zayne protests. "She's editing my government essay and she said I was so stupid she's in duress. I have to make it up to her."

"Never mind, she deserves that hug." Wes relents. "I've seen your gov grade."

Punching Wes as he goes, I eat my sandwich. Wes doesn't say anything and neither do I. The silence says enough.

"So, um, where's Chloe?" I ask, glancing to the door in hopes of her magically saving me from this forced conversation.

"I don't know." Wes lies, crossing his arms over his chest. "Why are you suddenly friendly?"

"I don't know what you mean?" I offer.

"Sure, you do." He spits. "The last four plus years you've barely acknowledged us and out of the blue you want to be best buds. I don't buy it."

I snort, "Okay, there's nothing to buy. Zayne is the one who hounded me to eat with y'all. Chloe is the one who convinced me to come."

"Let's talk about Chloe." Wes leans in. "Leave her alone."

"Chloe is the one who won't leave me alone." I protest, I did not ask for her to become a thorn in my side. She just sprouted from the depths. "Why does it bother you so much?

"Because she's not some rebound. She doesn't need that."

"I have no feelings for Chloe. I don't even know if she considers me a friend and I don't know if consider her one either." I explain even though I don't owe him any sort of apology. "I understand love is foreign to you but I'm not gonna screw with Chloe just because I'm single. Not everyone is that shitty of a person."

"What happens when we graduate, and you go off to some fancy school and Chloe goes nowhere?" He pushes. "I doubt you'll even remember any of your newfound friends when you have better people to surround yourself with."

I hadn't thought about what comes after graduation. I had been so caught up in the now that I forgot I have no plans for what comes next.

"That's what I thought." He shakes his head.

Without another word I stand up, wordlessly grabbing my bag and heading for the door. Not knowing what comes next doesn't mean I'm playing anybody. I'm just a kid trying to figure out life.

Storming down to Melissa's hallway, I'm so focused on calming down I don't pay any attention to the man who passes me.

"Sage?"

Turning about, I suddenly find it very difficult to talk. "Dav– I mean, Mr. Mackenzie, what are you doing here?"

Ella's dad walks towards me, shifting his briefcase from hand to hand. "A lunch meeting with Melissa and John to finalize some paperwork." I wasn't expecting my uncle to be here, good. "How are you?"

"I-I-I'm good, sir." I manage to say. "Just going to beg my aunt for attention since I'm bored."

He chuckles but it fades fast. "I'm sorry for what happened."

The genuine remorse in his eyes gets to me and I hold back the digs I want to say. His daughter breaks up with me and has the audacity to say sorry two months later. "It happened. I can't change it, I just get to live with it."

That's the thing about life, even if it's not our choice to make we have to live with the consequences.

He nods grimly, clearly understanding how I feel, and I can't help but ask a question I know I have no business asking. "Have you heard from her?"

"No. We're stuck playing an intentional game of phone tag and there's nothing I can do about it." He sighs. "I didn't even know about the... break up until Jane told me. She was always better than I was at technology and she was so surprised she called to see if I knew."

At least there's one set of exes' that still gets along.

"I'm sorry she's doing that." I offer, hating how Ella is willing to throw away her relationships with her parents just because they had a healthy divorce. I'd kill to have parents and she's in New York having a full-blown temper tantrum and is punishing them with silence.

At least now I don't feel guilty for having these thoughts.

"Ella is her own person, all I can do is love her." Sadly, that makes two of us.

We stand there for an awkward minute, unsure of what to say.

"I must be going." He clears his throat.

"It was nice seeing you, Mr. Mackenzie." I say truthfully.

"Sage, you can still call me Dave." He says before turning to go.

In a daze, I walk into Mel's classroom. Uncle John looks up from his Chinese takeout and chokes. "What are you doing here?"

"I just saw Dave in the hall." I sit down, completely ignoring the fact he's coughing orange chicken up. His issues can wait.

"Are you okay?" Mel asks, taking my uncles food and handing it to me.

"Fine, it was just weird." I admit, stuffing my face.

They study me, clearly not expecting me to be so calm and I'm proud of how well I'm handling this. Like a champ, Rhodes, like a champ.

"What was he doing here?" I ask, swatting away John's hand as he tries to steel his food back. "Mel gave this to me and I'm in emotional distress."

He glares, opening a fortune cookie. "Just handling paperwork."

"Like what?" I need something else to focus on.

"Like our wills, changing some properties to be in both our names, going over assets. Adult things." Melissa says.

"Wills, huh?" I try to sneak a peek at the closed file and John slaps my hand away. "Come on, I just want to see if Ashton's in your will." Gabe and I have a bet on whether or not John would leave his favorite punk anything more than dirt.

"Somehow, yes, I put him in my will." John admits. "But what I left him is none of your business or Gabriel's."

"Spoil sport." I pout, tossing an orange peel at him. "Can we do something fun next weekend?"

"You can do whatever." He says. "Mel and I are going on a business trip."

"No, you aren't." I laugh.

"Yes, we are."

"No, you told Scar you would spend the weekend with us since she's taking the idiots with her to Alabama." I remind them, already loving how screwed my uncle is.

"Oh, did I promise that?" He chuckles nervously.

"Uh-huh." I nod my head. "But no worries, work is important."

"You know how much I would usually disagree with that statement." He says and I feel the "but" coming. "But this is important."

"It's fine." I wave him off. "I don't have any plans. I just wanted to spend your money, old man." I'm in the mood for fondue and whatever musical is in town and Uncle John is just the guy to pay for it.

"Is that all I'm good for?"

"Yes." I smirk. "Plus, I want all this business work finished by the wedding so poor Mel can enjoy her honeymoon."

"I appreciate that." She offers dryly and John snickers.

I knew I inherited my humor from someone.

*****

"Chloe!" Saffron shouts, running through the parking lot.

"Hi Saffron." She says before my sister wraps her in a hug. Chloe sends me a wide-eyed look with her arms held in the air.

"What's up, Squirt?" I ask, pulling her away.

"Well, Jace tried to hold my hand today." She informs me as we get in the car.

"What did I tell you about getting close to boys?" I reprimand. Apparently, I was dumb enough to think our boy troubles were over after the infuriating Dasher Williams moved away.

"Only time I should be touching them is when I'm punching them." She repeats dramatically.

"That's what I like to hear."

"But he didn't listen to me and when I told the teacher he said it never happened."

Oh, did he now? Maybe I like Dasher Williams better, he never did that from what I can recall. "Sounds like I need to have a chat."

"No." She grins. "I took care of it."

"That's my girl." I smile.

We get inside just as I get a text from the twins confirming that they're studying with Conner and Sam. The photographic proof is well appreciated. Grabbing muffins Silver made yesterday and some tea, I join Chloe at the table.

"What do you have planned, Saff?" I ask my sister as she hurries back into the room.

"I want to do nails." She decides, displaying her case filled with different colors.

Chloe's once bare nails are now covered in gray polish with glitter on both her pointer fingers because Saffron begged.

"You're pretty good." She offers, admiring her nails.

"It's just like painting and I'm pretty good at that." Saffron says.

"You're an artist?" Chloe asks.

"Yeah, Scar taught me first, but the boys all have too." She nods. "My mommy liked art a whole lot."

Yeah, she did. I can still remember the first time we went spray painting. I hated coloring and drawing. My lines were never perfect, and my shapes weren't clean enough to be done with paint or charcoal.

Some people are too messy for the fine lines and those are the people who turn the world into their canvas.

I wonder what type of style mom would give Saffron.

"Bubs, I want to do your nails." Saffron says, knocking me out of fantasy land.

"Saffron, no." I protest, accidentally looking into her green eyes. She looks so sad. "No glitter."

Ten minutes later, I'm rocking black nails and she leaves to let us get work done.

Chloe doesn't say much as we work on our report, continuously glancing over at me and once I'm finished, I decide to say something.

"I understand I'm gorgeous, but you don't have to stare."

"Don't flatter yourself." She snorts.

"Then why you staring?" I push.

"I've never seen someone act like such a..." Her voice dies out.

"Like such a what?" I ask, wanting to know her reasoning for burning a hole through my head.

"Like a dad." She rushes out, somewhat embarrassed.

"Oh." I offer. "I've never really thought of it like that."

"Sure, you have." She counters.

"No, Scarlett is basically our mom, but I've truly never seen myself as anything more than an older brother." I don't do half the things she does.

"Sage, you demand texts of arrival from your brother with picture proof. You let your baby sister paint your nails simply because she wants to. You take care of them." She points out. "That's admirable."

"They're my people." I explain. "I just do what's needed."

There's nothing special about helping those you love. If I didn't do these things, then who would?

We stare at each other as the garage door opens. Scarlett walks in completely disheveled and I jump up. "Are you okay."

"Need nap. Don't tell Ashton how tired I am." She says through a yawn and I decide now is not a good time to mention I'm dodging his calls. "I'll make dinner after a cat nap."

Making sure she makes it upstairs, I hear her go into Saffron's room. Something tells me they'll be napping together.

"Is she okay?" Chloe asks, still sitting. Damn, I was used to her leaving by now.

"Yeah, she doesn't sleep much." I offer, grabbing a pot out of the cabinet. "Are you cool if I cook?"

"Can I help?" She questions, standing up.

"Absolutely."

*****

An hour later, Chloe is sharing a story of the time Maggie accidentally stained her face green.

"I looked like the grinch for a week, I had piled layers of concealer just to appear somewhat normal." She explains, showing me a picture.

The laugh is unstoppable as I take in Chloe flipping the camera off, her scowl looking funny on her pale green face. "You-you look like Mike Wazowski."

"No, I do not." She protests.

"Kermit the frog." I counter, my side hurting from all the laughing.

"Shut up."

"No. No. I got it." I wheeze. "Oscar the grouch is so fitting."

Despite punching my arm, she lets out a small laugh. "Fine, I'm sure you've got plenty of embarrassing photos in your closet."

It takes way too long for me to calm down but somehow, I manage to stop. "Halloween, my 7th grade year."

Pulling out my phone I decide the best thing to do is surprise her. Finding the picture of me dressed in Scarletts competitive cheer uniform and her rocking my baseball uniform before going trick-or-treating.

"Holy shit." She mutters, stealing my phone out of my hands.

"Yeah, they say a picture is worth a thousand words." And this one says plenty.

She slaps me, "Why are you a prettier girl than me?"

"What can I say, God made me interchangeably beautiful." Didn't ask to be blessed with these looks.

"Now, this is not gorgeous." She admits, flipping my phone around to reveal Ashton's contact photo.

Taking my phone back I decline the call, but he doesn't stop. Finally, I've had enough.

"What do you want, prick?" I demand.

"This is the welcoming words you offer a brother?" Ashton gasps.

"I'm sorry, Ashton, how are you now that it's been three weeks since you last got laid?" I start over, clearly he's in the mood to play games.

"Shitty now that you reminded me of that fact." He grumbles and I smirk. I win this round. "How come I have to find out you're laughing again from your sister?"

"Because I'm just having a conversation." I offer, trying to determine exactly how Scarlett would know that. However, now that I'm talking to Ashton, it's time I ask the question I've been avoiding. "But I wanted to run something by you before I tell Scar."

"Shoot." He says and I take a deep breath, moving into the garage so no listening ears can overhear me. You can do this, Sage. I've already made up my mind, now I just have to face the facts. Ashton won't judge me.

"I think I'm going to decommit from Vanderbilt." I say casually like I'm not completely freaking out on the inside. Holy shit, I just said it out loud.

"What?"

"It sounds crazy but hear me out." I start, afraid to hear his reaction. "I don't even know if I like Vandy. I just did it because that's where Scarlett went."

"Sage, they're one of the best baseball programs in the country." I know, I've been reminding myself of that fact for the last week.

No

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