I don't even wait to hear the rest of his sentence.

I'm running down the hill towards the middle school field at full speed. My mind flashing back to this morning. I yelled at him then hung up the phone. What if he isn't ok? How could I live with that?

My heart falls to my stomach as I see Silver sprawled out on the ground, completely unmoving. His coach leans over him, waving a towel across his face.

Oh my God. Please let him be ok.

Movement catches my eye, momentarily distracting me from my panic. I look over to find Sterling tackling a kid to the ground.

Wait, what?

"He was down! Why the fuck did you tackle him?"

I freeze for a moment. My eyes darting between an unconscious Silver and an attacking Sterling. Who to handle first? I don't move until he begins to punch the kid. Repeatedly. My mind goes into overdrive. Sterling would never punch someone, let alone beat them to a bloody pulp.

"Sterling Ocean Rhodes, get off of him!" I demand, pulling him off the now bloodied kid. The other boy looks to be a year older, dark skin with a lanky build.

Sterling lunges for the kid again but Sam grabs a hold of him, allowing me to run over to Silver who's still out like a light.

I turn to their coach, "What the hell happened?"

"He finished the play when Wilson tackled him. It's all a simple misunderstanding." He assures me. Last I checked, misunderstandings don't end with someone being knocked out.

"He didn't tackle him, he attacked him." Sterling shouts, fighting against Sam, a wild gleam in his blue eyes.

"I'll deal with you later," I send him a look before turning back to the coach. "How long has he been out?"

"Four maybe five minutes before you got here?" He scratches his head in thought.

Panic begins to settle in heavily. If he's sustained a serious head injury those five minutes could be vital. "Why wasn't I gotten as soon as he was hit?"

I was literally a few hundred feet away. The millions of procedures I've learned over the years in case of a situation like this rush through my mind.

"We thought he would wake up." The coach tries to defend himself but I push past him.

I check his pulse and it feels below normal but not dangerous. I put my hand underneath his nose, air hitting my hand in a slow, steady pattern. His skin is ice cold and for once in his life Silver looks paler than Sterling.

So far everything seems normal for the situation.

My blood begins to boil. How can a grown ass man deal with a potentially serious injury with so much nonchalance? My body shakes and I can't decide if it's out of fear or anger. While I debate whether or not to rip the coach a new one, I spot the water jug.

I march over, take the lid off, carry it back to Silver and dump it over his body. Then I eye Sterling, still fighting against Sam and the other two kids trying to hold him back, and dump the rest of the water on him.

Silver let's out a large gasp of air moments later and my heartbeat slows down. He's alive and functioning.

"I don't feel so well Coach."  He mumbles.

"You're fine son, walk it off."

Silver leans over and throws up everywhere. Walk it off my ass.

"He most certainly is not fine. Sterling, Sam, carry Silver to the car." I walk over to the coach, attempting to muster all the ferocity I can without crying. "I'll deal with you and how you handled this situation later."

I grab their bags and follow after the boys, finding Ella and Stella waiting for us, my cheer bag in hand.

"We got everyone's stuff from the locker room and drove your car around. I hope you don't mind." Ella informs me, shouldering Silvers bag.

I nod in response, grateful for their help. "Where's Saffron?"

"We left her with Madison, we didn't want to scare her."

Good. Ever since the accident our family doesn't take injuries very lightly. "Can you give Saffron and Sage a ride home after practice ends?" I ask Ella, my mind trying to process everything that just happened.

"Absolutely."

We reach the car where Silver is trying to get back to practice. "Sit down." I tell him, pushing his butt back into the passenger seat.

"Where are you guys going?" Stella asks, handing Silver a bottle of water.

"The doctor." I inform them. He still needs medical attention to ensure nothing is wrong.

"But I'm fine Scar." Silver protests before throwing up once more, thankfully outside of the car.

"Shut up, no you're not." Stubbornness is a family trait.

"What about Sterling?" Ella asks, handing him a towel.

I eye my other brother who is nursing his bloodied hand, remaining silent in hopes that I'll forget about his little display of violence. "He's coming with me, we need to have a chat."

He gulps visibly as we climb into the car and drive off. I go well over the speed limit, getting to Dr. Greene's office in ten minutes. Silver goes back to be looked at while Sterling and I wait in the empty reception room. He didn't throw up again but his skin is still deathly pale and his vision disoriented.

"Scarlett stop shaking." Sterling says, grabbing my hand to still it.

I hadn't even noticed, my mind so caught up with worrying. I try to collect my thoughts, looking down at our connected hands. His bloodied knuckles.

That's right, we're due for a talk.

"So tell me, Sterling, why did you attack that kid?"

"Wilson hit Silver on purpose so I returned the favor." He states, his eyes dart around the room, avoiding me.

"You play football, he's going to get hit. What makes you think it was on purpose?" I pry. Sterling freezes, I raise a brow waiting for a response.

"Because... coach had already blown the whistle to end the play." He hesitates, what's this kid hiding? "Who was that guy sitting next to you in class today?"

Did he really just try to change the subject on me?

"Cute. So your first instinct was to attack him?" I push, determined to get to the bottom of this.

"No, I made sure he was alive and I waited for you to get there before I did anything rash." He states like it's perfect logic, flexing his bruised hand.

Boys.

"Sterling, it isn't like you to hit anyone, no matter what they did."

Sterling was the cool and collected child in our family. He wouldn't harm a fly. One time he accidentally punched a kid in third grade and he put himself in timeout. My parents laughed so hard they cried. He just wasn't a violent soul, a rare occurrence in the family.

A dark look passed through his cool blue eyes, "Trust me, he deserved it."

I want to ask him more questions but Dr. Greene steps into the room.

"I have some good and bad news." He offers taking the seat across from us. My heart begins to beat out of my chest. I squeeze Sterlings hand in anticipation, earning a wince of pain from him.

Whoops, he shouldn't have punched someone.

"Good first." Sterling says, grateful for the change in conversation.

"Silver doesn't have a concussion or any serious brain damage for that matter."

I sigh in relief, "But?" There's always a but and it's never good.

"But I would like for him to stay home tomorrow and lay low from anything that could cause strenuous stimulation to his brain. For example, lights, computer screens, yelling." He adds extra emphasis to the last word.

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, that's nothing major. Now I just need to find somewhere for him to go tomorrow because he surely isn't staying home alone.

We thank the doctor and head back out to the car, driving home in silence.

I say a silent prayer of thanks that Silver's ok, but I have a nagging suspicion that they're hiding something from me. The twins share looks and I know they're talking in their weird twin mind talk.

*****

We arrive home to an angry Sage and a coloring Saffron. The latter being the more pleasant companion.

"You didn't think to tell me you were going to the doctor? Or I don't know, bring me with you!" Sage demands before I can fully step into the house.

"First of all, don't yell, the doctor said to keep him away from anything loud or bright." I whisper yell, turning off the lights in the kitchen.

"Secondly, I was a little preoccupied with an unconscious child and Sterling beating the shit out of the kid who hit Silver." I explain, flinging my keys onto the counter.

Sage's eyes pop out of his head, turning his attention to Sterling, who's currently trying to hide in the corner.  "You hit someone?"

Sterling smiles weakly. "Yeah."

"Nice bro." He reaches to give our younger brother a high five.

I slap his hand down. "No! Not nice bro, it was wrong."

I walk to the fridge and grab a bag of frozen peas, flinging them at Sterling for his hand. I suppose he needs to ice it.

"Fine, but you still should've gotten me." Sage counters.

I slap the counter top, startling my family and myself. "No, I shouldn't have Sage. I didn't think, I just acted. My first priority was to make sure Silver was ok not inform you and talk about what to do. In case you forgot I'm in charge of this family, not you. I make the decisions in this house and I made a decision. Live with it."

All three boys stare at me in shock. Saffron's coloring long forgotten thanks to our conversation. My voice begins to waver, the day catching up with me. I point at Sterling, "You, go clean up your hand and shower in your bathroom. No video games tonight."

I turn to Sage and Silver, not caring to see if he argues. "You take him up to your bathroom and make sure he doesn't pass out while showering. We're going to have to take turns watching him tonight just in case."

"I have a headache, I'm not disabled." Silver protests.

"I'm not taking any chances, now get upstairs before I carry you. Do. I. Make. Myself. Clear."

The pair flees without another word. My world feels like it's about to crumble. My breathing speeds up. Violent tremors shake my entire body. I begin to hyperventilate, slowly falling to the ground. My large kitchen feels like a closet, suffocating me from the world.

What would Mom and Dad do if they were here? Surely they would of handled today better than I did. They would've gotten us to school on time, with breakfast in our bellies and smiles on our faces. They would've brought Silver the homework he had forgotten and had Saffron's inhaler replaced the day after it ran out, not a week later. The house would be clean and dinner would've already been made. Sterling probably wouldn't have gotten the opportunity to punch anyone and that shitty football coach would be fired by now.

I'm not cut out for this.

I know deep down I can't do anything about the twins football coach, I'm a teenager not an adult. No one in administration would take me seriously enough to say anything to the coach.

I stay on the floor, letting the tears fall from my eyes as my breathing begins to even out. Deep breaths returning instead of short, shallow intakes.

Small footsteps echo off the wood floor off to the right of me. The back door opens, allowing a breeze to filter into the room, feeling nice against my clammy skin. Saffron sits down next to me

"What about me?" Her voice is soft and tentative. She knows how to react in a situation like this. She's learned how to deal with my problems.

I wipe my nose with the back of my hand. "What about you?" A new wave of guilt crashes into me at the realization that she was here the entire time.

"You told everyone else what to do, what am I going to do?"

Despite everything, I laugh. I just had a panic attack on my dirty kitchen floor in front of my seven year old sister and I'm laughing.

I stand up, picking Saffron off the floor. "Well, Squirt, you're going to help me make dinner."  What we'll make I have no idea. I can't remember the last time I went to the grocery store and I don't have the energy to cook.

The font doorbell rings and I go to open it, expecting to find one of the neighborhood kids asking to play with Saffron. Instead, I find James King in his Papa John's delivery uniform waiting with three boxes of pizza. This is a surprise.

"I'm sorry but we didn't order anything." I say confused. Today has been absolutely crazy but I'm pretty sure I didn't order pizza. Certainly not from my cousins boyfriend. I think about the mess I must look like. My mascara has definitely ran and my skin blotchy.

Avery's going to love hearing about this.

"No, they were ordered and set to be delivered here." He hands me the boxes, pretending to not even notice the mess I currently look like.

Who in the world would order us pizza? I check to receipt to make sure there wasn't a mistake. I found a note in the specific order instructions.

Enjoy
XO El and Stel
And Sam too

They really are the best.

I look back up at James, who's awkwardly standing on my porch still. "Saffron go put these in the kitchen and bring me my wallet." I set her down and she runs with the food.

"The pizzas were already paid for." He says.

"I insist-" I at least need to tip him.

He cuts me off. "No really, Scarlett, it's fine. I heard about Silver, is he ok?"

I stare at James for a second in total shock. He's dating my cousin, doesn't he know talking to me was a major no-no? His kind blue eyes stare down at me intently, waiting for a reply.

"Yeah. He's gonna be fine. Just needs a day of rest that's all." I offer cautiously.

He smiles. "Good, I'm glad to hear that. I'm sure Avery will be too."

Part of me wants to make a smart ass comment about how he's only doing recon for her but I see the sincerity in his face. Why does he have to be so nice? If he wasn't, I could just be mean and send him away.

"I'm sure she won't, but thank you for the pizza and for asking about Silver."

"No problem." He assures me.

I close the door as he walks away. "Foods here!"

*****

I don't talk to Sage for the rest of the night and he doesn't try to talk to me.

I'm exhausted but I take the shift of watching Silver from 12-3. Allowing Sterling to get his over without waking up in the middle of the night and making Sage take the shitty shift.

I take the free time with no one downstairs to clean up the house. I start in the basement and worked my way upstairs. Most mornings I try to pick up a little before we leave but tonight gives me an opportunity to deep clean. I dust, vacuum and do laundry before heading up stairs to my bedroom floor.

Yes, floor.

When we got the opportunity to move back into our house we ran into the realization that there were too many kids and not enough rooms. Saffron's nursery was to small to be a bedroom. The twins were getting too old to comfortably share a room without wanting to kill each other so we adjusted.

Silver kept his room and Sterling moved to Sage's, the two of them sharing the bathroom between them. Sage took my old room from across the hall and Saffron got the spare bedroom. Her nursery transformed into an office for paperwork.

When it came to me there was no place to go.

The basement was a hangout floor, filled with a ping-pong table, a flat screen, and numerous games. I thought about moving into my parents master bedroom but it felt wrong to move into a space that was theirs, to take a place they shared and erase all of them and fill it with me.

We also haven't been able to go in that room since we moved in, avoiding it like the plague.

Shortly after we moved in Ella's mom, Jane, took Ella, Stella, and I to the beach, wanting me to get a week of well deserved rest. When we got back the two dads and the boys, with the supervision of Saffron, transformed our attic into a bedroom for me. It's perfect.

I send Sterling to bed and check Silvers breathing before hopping in the shower and getting ready for bed.

I lay down next to Silver, watching him sleep peacefully when my phone dings.

Hey, is your brother ok?

I scowl, reading the unknown number. Who would be texting me at midnight? Seconds later I get my answer.

It's Ashton by the way.

How the hell did Ashton McClain get my number? I chew on my lip, debating what to say.

Scar
He's fine now, just needs to rest. Thanks for asking.

I change his contact before laying back down, the phone dinging again.

Ash
Sleep tight Sweetheart.

I just roll my eyes, what a day today was. Now to do it all again tomorrow.

*****

This definitely is a longer chapter but I hope you guys all like it.
I can't believe this story is already at 80 reads!
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XO-Mo