I hate February.

In all reality, it's not the entire month just the first 14 days to be exact. I don't need to be surrounded by hearts and chocolates while fools who claim they're in love make out viciously in the hallway.

And, of course, today is that dreaded day of the year. Valentine's Day.

I stayed up late, finishing Saffron's little valentines box for school and helping make everyone's gifts. Then I had to make something because, no matter how much I hate Valentine's Day, my friends do deserve a present for dealing with me.

I go down for breakfast to find Uncle John, who has a key to our house, making pancakes with five gifts laid out on the table.

Sage runs into the kitchen holding two bow ties in his hand. "Which one?"

He's asking Ella on a date tonight and for some reason he's worried, not like she has other plans. I look at both bow ties and instantly regret trying to help, they're hideous. One has kissy emojis and the other is character hearts in multi color.

Where did he get these from? Shirts were one thing but Sage normally has good tie taste. I'm trying to find the best possible way to say neither without completely freaking him out when Uncle John points him towards his gift.

Like a little kid in a candy store, Sage walks towards his bag and I follow.

There's a bunch of candy, a card plus a few more expensive items like jewelry and makeup. I also get a set of watercolor pencils I've been eyeing for a while. Sage gets a new bow tie, thankfully, along with a watch and some other goodies.

"Okay, what's the apology for?"I demand, throwing away the other ties. Normally I would donate them but no one deserves to wear those.

"What do you mean, Bean?" John asks, fidgeting with his apron.

I mean, his gifts are always extravagant but this time he's gone above and beyond. That only means one thing, he's going out of town. I give him the I'm not stupid look and he gulps.

"I may have to cancel tonight's dinner." He starts and I frown. He was supposed to take the four of us out. Uncle John's been completely single since high school so we usually make fun of couples.

"Why?" Sterling asks as he enters the room, dressed much more casual and fashionable than Sage.

"Because I maybe... sorta..." he hesitates and we all motion for him to continue, "I sorta have a date tonight." He blurts out and Sage lets out a hoot.

"You're leaving me all alone in the I hate Valentine's Day club?" I pout but, honestly, I'm happy for him. I can't imagine the bachelor life being exciting forever. Plus, I feel like ever since my parents he's been all alone.

A girlfriend is good for him. A girlfriend means he's happy.

He ruffles my hair, "Oh, Bean, I don't think you're gonna be alone tonight."

I swat his hand away and begin to snack on my pancakes. As of right now my plan is to watch horror movies and eat ice cream.

Silver walks into the room, takes one look at all the hearts and lets out a grunt, "I hate this day."

I give him a sympathetic nod, looks like I'm not alone after all.

*****

"Happy Valentine's Day!" Ella sings as she appears at our lockers.

I hiss at the mention of the word but she shoves a large iced coffee in my hands and I instantly shut up.

"I thought that may cheer you up but just in case." She hands me a bag.

Excitedly, I peer inside to find a cupcake and a really cute card waiting for me. I squeal, trying my best not to break out into a happy dance right here.

I may hate this day but Ella is after my own heart.

She opens her locker and I panic, trying to whip my phone out to record. I see her begin to read the note and even my cold heart melts when Sage appears with a bouquet of flowers.

She says yes of course but I draw the line when they begin to kiss in front of me.

"Sappy time is over please leave room for Jesus." I demand, slamming my locker shut.

Stella and James are even worse. They plan on going to a rock concert in the city tonight and by the state of their lips, they've already thoroughly celebrated this holiday.

I hate couples.

Ashton, Zev, and Gabe join us, all in varying moods. Gabe is winking at girls right and left, even handing one a card. I can't help but roll my eyes as she squeals, he has twenty more in his bag just like it. Zev is much more respectful when it comes to girls, giving them personalized notes. Ashton, however, is oblivious to the girls eyeing him in the hall as he leans against my locker.

"Happy Val-" Zev starts.

I throw my hands up, "Nope." I've already heard that word to much today and it's only 8 am.

He hands me a card, it takes all my might not to shred it up on impulse. I open it, finding a terribly drawn sombrero on the inside with a message.

You're the Juan for me

I let out a chuckle, that's actually funny.

"Get it, because you're Puerto Rican." He explains, handing them out to the rest of the group, I drink my coffee to distract myself. Ashton begins to play with the two space buns I did my hair in, I should've known I would regret them.

"You know, Scar, for someone who claims to hate this holiday you're dressed quite nicely." Gabe says, his tone not matching the innocent smile he has on his face.

I grunt, not bothering to stop drinking. Uncle John made me change out of my leggings. I retaliated by wearing ripped boyfriend jeans with red fishnets peaking out, a white shirt that read loveless and Doc Martens.

I screamed anti-love.

"You know, if things get boring you can always take me up on my offer." Gabe offers, Ashton stops hitting my buns. I mock gag remembering his oh, so kind offer for me to be his date tonight. As much as I've been reminded how entertaining Gabe is these past couple weeks, I have no desire to catch a disease.

A girl approaches our group, asking politely for Ashton. He obliges, walking off to the side with her. Despite my sour attitude I can't help but watch out of the corner of my eye. Noticing how pretty she is with curled strawberry blond hair, skinny jeans and a snug sweater accenting her features. He tells her something and she glares back at us before storming off.

I'm surprised to feel a small bit of relief as I watch her leave.

"What was that about, bro?" Gabe asks, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively as Ashton rejoins us.

He shrugs, throwing an arm around my shoulder. "Absolutely nothing."

And with that we head off to class.

*****

My mood tanks when even Ms. Miller gets a special delivery of roses in the middle of the class. My she demon of a teacher is even celebrating this holiday.

Life is cruel.

I go through the rest of my day trying to avoid love but it's everywhere. Everyone is dressed in nice clothing and if someone doesn't have a boo, they're trying to get one.

Five other girls have approached Ashton after this morning and it's only fourth period, doing nothing to brighten my mood. He's rejected all of them and a few cried but I'm sure lunch will be the worst for heartbreaks. I'll be spared from that pain.

I'm taking my anti-love ass to a first grade Valentine's Day party.

I regret my decision soon after when I see that my own little sister has received a special valentine. Liz and I chat while Dasher Williams taunts my sister, pulling her braid. I don't really have to wonder who gave Saffron her special card.

"Ronnie was wanting to know if Saffron could come over tonight? Abuela is in town for a few days, she would love the company."

I purse my lips to think, I can't really say no because we have no real plans and Sage is going out.

"Sure, just let me know when I need to drop her off."

Is it possible for me to hang out with Abuela too?

*****

I'm sitting in U.S. History when the door opens, revealing a freshmen from student council who enters wearing a Cupid's bow. I groan and bang my head against the desk. I hate Valentine's roses. It's always a competition to see who can receive the most, Avery usually winning.

I get my one traditional rose that Sage sends me every year and I read this year's message.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Do you think this poem works for Sterling too?
-Sage

Despite my sour mood I can't help but laugh, and then deeply ponder the answer.

I really want to laugh seconds later when a second rose is set on my desk. Then another and another. I pick all six up roses and read them.

Flower One
Roses are red and violets are blue
Do you know what's really true

Flower Two
You're stubborn as can be
And pretty funny too

Flower Three
Your laugh is like music
Your smile is like the sun

Flower Four
While there are many things to value
Your eyes are the best thing I like about you

Flower Five
From brown to green with little fleck of gold
Everyday they have a different story to be told.

Flower Six
Happy Valentine's Day Sweetheart
You make my heart happy
XO-Charming

I smile widely as I reread the poem two more times, completely in awe. I turn around in my desk to where Ashton sits three rows back-

Thank you, I mouth.

He beams back at me, winking before turning back to his notes.

*****

Ella and Stella scream in the hall after school as we head back to our lockers. They read the poem longer than I did, analyzing every word.

I whistle, if only they did this during English class. Shakespeare wouldn't stand a chance.

I put up my books, thankful today at least means no homework.

"What are your plans for tonight?" Stella asks, taking a picture of my notes.

I zip up my backpack, snatching the slips of paper from her. "Watching horror movies with the twins." My phone sings and I read my text

Sterling
Can Silver and I go to Elliot's house for a party? Sam's going too?

I send back a quick yes, Zev already told me earlier they were gonna be invited to his brothers party. "Scratch that, I'm watching horror movies alone."

They both stop walking.

"Ashton and you aren't doing anything?" Ella asks in disbelief.

I slowly shake my head, "No. He gave me the flowers and they were a great gift. He doesn't owe me anything extra." We're not dating. Friends don't go out today.

"I'm so going to talk to him." Stella declares, I grab her arm before she can leave.

"No, you're going to my house to get ready for tonight." I tell them both and we head out to Ella's car.

The flowers were more than I was expecting.

*****

Hours later I'm changed into pajama pants and a sports bra with the first Halloween movie on as Sage and Ella leave. Stella left thirty minutes ago, dropping the twins and Saffron off so I could stay here.

That's all the love I need in my life. That and the million kisses Saffron gave me before she left. I hope she never grows up.

I'm almost done with a carton of ice cream and 15 minutes into the second Halloween movie when the doorbell rings. I'm not afraid but when I get to the door and see a giant teddy bear on the patio I can't help but wonder if it's possessed or that maybe someone's hiding inside of it.

After a solid two minute debate, I open the door and peak my head out. No serial killers in sight so I go to investigate the bear. The porch groans, making me rethink my decision.

"Do you like it?"

I scream, picking up a baseball bat that was on the ground. I flail around and almost hit Ashton in the face.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I demand, feeling bad for almost breaking his nose. The face is precious cargo.

"We're going to dinner." He states like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

I scan his attire of dress pants and a black button up with red suspenders. Then I glance down at my own look of ice cream stained pajama pants before looking back at him.

One of us looks like a model and the other looks likes slob. Take a gander as to which description I fit.

"Like what you see?" He asks smugly and I make a face at him.

How can someone so sweet be so arrogant? I walk back to my door and begin to shut it but I go back for the bear.

"So, is that a yes?" He asks as I struggle to drag this giant ass bear through the door frame.

Absolutely. "Why should I say yes?" I respond, peeking through the bear.

He scratches the back of his head and I momentarily stop pulling the bear, realizing he shaved his beard. I was just beginning to grow fond of it.

"Well I mean you're single... I'm single. So I thought we could hang out."

Do I really want to spend tonight alone when I could spend it with Ashton? Also, I don't know if I can watch another horror movie after the scare I just had.

I throw my hands up, "Fine, but you have to bring this inside."

Then I hurry upstairs to try to look like a decent human being.

I scan my closet in a panic, what exactly does one wear for a non-date date. He's dressed nice so I want to match him. I frantically pass over a red dress, a white romper, and sequined skirt. My eyes land on a white dress that has a sheer lace like top with a linen fabric skirt that stops above my knees.

I haven't touched it in ages but I throw it in my bed with high hopes. I try my best to put makeup on my face and tame my messy hair but stop myself before I fuss to much and ruin whatever progress I made. After staring in the mirror for a long moment I grab my red chucks.

This will do.

I hear a knock at my door and I absentmindedly say come in, fluffing my hair in attempt to save it. Ashton walks in, placing the bear on my floor.

"Oh, you could've left it downstairs." I say, grabbing a purse to put my money in as I face him. Uncomfortable once I notice he's staring at me, his mouth slightly open.

"Wow." He whispers and I arch an eyebrow. Two can play the arrogance game tonight, even if I have to fake it. He coughs, "I mean, you look great."

I nod my head, fiddling with his ring which currently is on display thanks to the low cut dress.

"We should go." He mumbles and I follow him downstairs. Enjoying the sight of him flustered.

*****

We end up at a little Italian restaurant that surprisingly doesn't have a wait.

Ashton grabs my hand as we walk to our table, a warm feeling spreading through my right arm. He stops walking just short of our table, "Oh, shit."

I pinch my brow, repeating his words when I see Gabe at a table with Ashley Nunez. He looks miserable. She's on her phone, a scowl in place as she texts someone. Gabe's slouched over, playing with the salt. He perks up when he sees us, silently asking for help.

Ashton just shakes his head. Poor guy.

Halfway through dinner we swap plates because he's never tried eggplant parmesan before and I will literally eat anything. Watching his reaction was priceless, to say he has a new favorite would be an understatement. I almost thought he was going to order a second entrée.

We begin to play a game of buzz, every 7 or double number you say buzz and if you don't then one of us throws bread at the other.

Ashton messes up every time once he gets pass 30 but we end up getting into a bread war because someone can't throw properly and, by someone, I mean me. It's safe to say I didn't get the baseball gene.

On our way out, we're forced into having a conversation with the happy couple, Gabe cutting us off at the door.

"Someone doesn't seem so upset anymore." He remarks. I roll my eyes, reminding him that his date seems to have forgotten he exists.

We run after that.

*****

We walk around the main street area hand in hand, getting ice cream along the way. The temperatures dropped drastically.

"Do you ever want to do something crazy?" Ashton asks out of nowhere, shoving his hands in his pockets.

I suck on my teeth, the wind blowing at my hair. "Of course, lots of things."

"Like what?" He presses, I shrug.

"I want a tattoo, the same one my parents had, a set of angel wings. My belly button and nose pierced. To travel the world. To dye my hair again."

My life has been so restricted these last two years, I forgot how to be adventurous. I miss it.

He nods, appreciating the long list of activities. "What do you mean by dying hair again?"

"When I was 14, my mom let me dye my hair light pink. I have pictures at the house." Back then she let us do whatever we wanted to express ourselves.

He kicks a rock, "Why not now."

I sigh, throwing away my empty cup. "Wrong type of attention. I'd love to do lavender in the future though."

We walk for a while, not really saying much.

"What about you?" He asked the question to begin with.

"Me?" He shakes his head, studying my face for a long moment before responding. "I have a few things in mind."

Fair enough.

Out of nowhere white flurries begin to fall from the sky in a steady pattern. I squeal like a child, trying to catch snow in my mouth. I run around for a second in total bliss before Ashton grabs my hand, pulling me towards him.

"Dance with me." He whispers, his breath warming my face.

I lean my head on his chest, swaying in time with him. It's moments like these when maybe I begin to believe the nonsense my friends fill my head with.

I look up to watch the snow to find Ashton watching me. He seems different, like there's something he wants to say but can't. My mind goes a million miles an hour as he leans down.

If we kiss tonight I know it will mean something different so why aren't I stopping him?

His lips barely brush against mine as car horn sounds from the street. "What the fuck." He whispers, pulling away.

"That a boy!"

Gabe leans out of his dads sports car, whistling up a storm while Ashley snaps a picture. My face flushes red as I bury myself in Ashton's chest, this cannot be happening.

Ashton flips him off as he drives away, huffing out a cloud of breath that I track through the sky. "Well that was-"

"Something." I finish for him and we laugh but underneath it, there's something left unsaid.

What ever was supposed to happen didn't and maybe that's for a reason.

"Come on, I should get you out of the cold." He throws an arm around me and we head off to the car.

*****

So this story is currently #61 in Teen Fiction and all I have to say is OH MY GOD.
also, the next chapters gonna be a good one so be ready!
Xo-Mo