19~ Disappointment

Background color
Font
Font size
Line height

"For you, my lady." Ashton says, setting a smoothie on the table for me.

My mouth waters as I snag the drink, God, I love smoothies. We're in the library for the first half of lunch to finalize some points for our project. Not to toot my own horn or anything but we made A Devil in the White City our bitch.

We finished the last sections of the power point, now the only thing left to do is to work out the speaking parts. My favorite. Every time I try to speak in public I come close to passing out. It's so bad most teachers give me a pass but not Ms. Miller.

"You're a saint" I tell him in between sips. He just chuckles with an amused look on his face.

Twenty five minutes later were headed to the cafe, my smoothie half gone.

"Oh, good, you're here!" Ella exclaims.

She has a look in her eye, one that definitely means she's planning something. "Yes, why is that a good thing?" I ask cautiously taking my seat.

She smiles widely, "We're having a Christmas party!"

Stella seems the most excited, she squeals before pulling her phone out. I'm intrigued more than anything, we normally all get together to watch movies in our pajamas but this could be fun too. I take notice of Sage's grin, eyeing him skeptically. "Why are you so excited?"

I watch my brother lean back in his seat, resting his arms behind his head. "Because a Christmas party means mistletoe." he wiggles his groomed eyebrows suggestively.

Moments later Sage falls to the ground after being slapped by Ella and I. "What was that for?" he demands incredulously, while climbing back into his seat.

I take another sip of my smoothie, "That was for being stupid."

Everyone laughs, extremely amused by my brothers childish antics. Sixteen years old and he still thinks like a preteen boy.

"So are you guys in? Of course your families will be invited as well, it will be so much fun." she pleads, as if we'll say no.

"We're in." I tell her, Ella gets so excited she gets up to give me a hug. I pry her off gently, that's enough physical contact for one day.

I reach for my smoothie to find it gone. Hearing a slurping sound, I turn to find Sage drinking my smoothie.

I think the hell not little brother, snatching my drink back. "Spit it out." He freezes, glancing at me slightly panicked.  "Spit. It. Out." I hit him with each word, ignoring his winces of pain.

He shakes his head, looking around the room.

"Sage Forest, I swear I will make you walk home." We don't live that far away, he'll survive.

We stare at each other, stuck in a Mexican standoff. The table is silent, knowing better than to interfere with our fights. Just when I think he's gonna give up I watch his throat bob.

He just drank my smoothie. I gape at him, a mixture of sadness and anger swirling inside of me.

"Sorry." Sage says, throwing his hand in the air, "That was good."

Does he not know to stop while he's ahead?

"Yeah! It's mine!" I exclaim, punching him again.

Sage rubs his arm that's surly sore by now. "What does it matter? We're siblings."

What does it matter? I raise my fist to hit him again but Ashton grabs my hand, preventing me from starting a fistfight. "I'll get you another one, Sweetheart."

I stick my tongue out at Sage before relaxing back in my seat. He returns the favor.

Stella laughs, "It's a wonder how you two raise children."

Can I get a retweet? Half the time I'm convinced our house is two seconds from imploding.

"What does that mean?" Ashton asks, letting go of my hand.

Oh, shit. I send Stella a glare, she gulps and hides herself in James side.

I glance up at his expectant gray eyes, briefly distracting me from my excuse. "Nothing, just that we're the oldest kids. We do pretty much everything."

He seems to buy it but Ella jumps in before he can say anything to inform me otherwise. "What are we doing for the twins birthday?"

Thank God, this was a safe subject.

"Dinner at your house probably and then a party, I think."

Their birthday is a week away and for once they can't agree on what to do. One wanted a sleepover, the other wanted to go bowling. Then it changed to laser tag. Then the movies.

I feel like they're changing it just to piss the other off, as if I don't have enough to worry about already. The last couple months things have been difficult between them but every time one of us points it out they assure us nothing is wrong.

I bought it. At first.

We chat more about the upcoming holidays before the bell rings for fifth period. As always, Ashton walks me to class.

"Are you guys going anywhere for Christmas this year?"

I shrug, "What's the point? All my moms family is here and my dads side has all passed away." Just like my parents. "What about you?" I nudge him.

He wrinkles his nose, "Just staying here, we usually visit my Abuela, Dads mom, but she wants to see the new house."

The thought of a grandmother actually wanting to spend time with her grandchild is foreign to my brain. I haven't had that since I was 15, my Abuela died just three months before my parents. "That must be nice." I offer quietly.

A real smile breaks out on his face. "It is. She can be a handful but I miss her a lot. She'd love to meet you."

I doubt it, I'm sure she'll find something wrong with me but if he's excited then so am I.

"I can't wait either."

*****

Stella
Dinner at my house tonight. Mom said no isn't an option.

I groan for the twentieth time in the last hour as I walk into the locker room, "Do I have to?"

"Yup, I held her off long enough, she wanted you guys to come over like a week ago." Stella confirms, lacing up her sneakers.

I start to slowly bang my head against the lockers. I. Am. So. Dead.

The girls offer me a pitying look, knowing the exact reason she wants us over so bad. I'm sure I can handle Kim alone.

Turns out, two hours later, I'm dead wrong. I am no match for the disappointment of Kim Hollens.

From the moment I walked in the door I get the look, her eyes narrowing in on me. I say a quick prayer while I put my shoes up. Dinner goes by smoothly. I try to stay silent while the boys chat about their upcoming birthday, Ella went home so it's only the five of us and Sam and Stella.

"Scarlett, are you still friends with that boy?" Jacob asks, completely oblivious to the look his wife is giving me, it just screams please answer.

I take a long sip of water to buy me some time, the glass almost slipping from my grasp since my hands are so sweaty. "Yeah, I'm still friends with him, we all are." I reply quickly.

"Good." Is all he says before standing up to take his plate into the kitchen. No, please don't go, if you leave then dinners over and so is my life.

"You all get, Scarlett will help me clean the kitchen." Kim declares before walking to the kitchen.

Help me I mouth to the boys as they walk out but they all just shake their head.

I turn to Stella, who has guilt written all over her face, "Save me."

"I can't." She whispers back, afraid of being caught.

Before I can  further protest a sturdy command comes from the kitchen. "Scarlett. Now."

Stella flees from the dining room, some friend she is. I put on my best fake smile, grab my plate like it's my shield and walk into the kitchen.

To my surprise she's washing the pots, not awaiting me with a glare. I stand there awkwardly for a few moments unsure of what to do. The sound of rushing water fills the silence, driving me insane after just a few short seconds.

"Alright, let me have it." I've spent way too long dreading this.

Slowly, the water turns off. I watch as she takes her time drying her hands and walking over to the table. She points at the seat across from her, "Sit."

And I do.

In her eyes I see a look I haven't gotten since my mom died, a mother's disappointment.

It hurt to see.

"When will you tell him?" Her voice is so calm.

I shrug, "Eventually."

A frown appears, "Soon, Scarlett."

It's not a suggestion. For a moment I allow myself to get angry. I try to keep the anger away when it comes to my situation but I can't help it.

"It's nice to have someone see me like a normal person. Someone who doesn't know how far strung I am or how many demons I actually have hidden in my closet. For the first time in almost two years I feel normal again and I won't lose that! You have no idea what it's like!" I spit at her.

I didn't mean to yell, shrinking back in my chair with shame evident on my face. I love Kim and I just jumped down her throat for no reason. I can't look her in the eye, knowing she's watching me. Just when I think I'm going to get yelled at like I've seen her do to Stella and Sam time and time again a hand reaches for my own.

"You forget, my sweet girl, that I was friends with your parents and while you are right, I don't know, I have been with you every step of the way and I always will."

I squeeze her hand back, she's been too kind to us especially since we all take her for granted. Now I feel even worse.

"I'm not making you tell him for his sake but for yours. You'll need him soon and you can't let your pride get in the way of that."

I feel the tears fall, she's right. Next thing I know I'm wrapped up in a hug, "I'm not prideful." I whimper between sobs.

Kim only rubs my hair and gives me a peck on the head, "Don't lie, you are your mother's daughter."

I laugh, ignoring the snot that escapes my nose. I wish I could be a pretty crier.

Eventually, I head up to Stella's room, pretending I didn't hear six sets of footsteps scurry away at the end of our conversation. I find my friend sprawled out on her bed way to casual for normal.

"How'd it go?" She pipes.

I give her a knowing look as I sit down on her bed. "Just fine thanks for asking."

"Mom's right ya know." Wow, she truly has no shame.

I shake my head, despite the numerous times I've doubted the fact Stella is Kim's daughter they both definitely speak their mind.

"I'd stop while you're ahead, after all, I'd hate for James to learn about the bed wetting story of sophomore year."

Her face pales, "Scarlett, you swore to never speak of that again."

I shrug indifferently, "It's rude to eavesdrop."

It's nice to have a friendship like ours, there's plenty of stories to use as blackmail. Like the underwear incident of '13 or the wisdom teeth video I have locked away for her wedding day. I would never leak any of the stories, except that video of course, but it's fun to watch the confident Stella squirm every once an a while.

"It was Saffron's idea!" Stella protests.

Why does everyone let a seven year old make decisions? Half the time I feel like the only one here with a drop of common sense and that's saying something.

We work on homework together, allowing the others some extra playtime. Stella glances at me four times, continuously chewing her pencil. Someone has a question.

"Yes, Stella Grace?" I ask, setting my math homework down.

Thankfully she spits the pencil out, God knows where that's been. "Did you think about me playing your song?" Her voice is hopeful.

I let out a long sigh, "I don't know Stel-"

"Please" she cuts me off, "I promise I'll do the song and you justice."

She gets down on her hands and knees, literally begging. I purse my lips in thought. I had already written the lyrics but I still wasn't sure. It would be weird for someone else to have my song but if anyone deserved it, Stella did.

"Why the hell not?" I throw my hands up in defeat.

She squeals and tackles me in a bear hug. Why must everyone touch me?

*****

The next night I call for a family meeting. The five of us sitting at our dining room table, a room usually used for homework. I try to save the official meetings for limited important things. However, I've got the twins birthday in less than a week and no plans.

My stress level slowly rising just a smidge.

"Alright, boys, what's the deal?" I ask, trying not to let my annoyance show.

"I want a sleepover." Sterling says.

"I don't even want a party anymore." Silver offers glumly.

"What!" Sage, Sterling and I demand at the same time. Silver loves to party, he's the wild child, and we always party for birthdays. It's a family thing.

He shrugs, "I'm just not feeling it this year."

I'm sorry, but what? This is their 13th birthday, we will celebrate.

"Liar." Sterling spits out. The twins glare at each other. I know they're talking in their own special telepathy and it's driving me insane. I want to know what's going on.

However, I can sense a fight about to break out so I clear my throat, "You two have until tomorrow morning to give me an answer or I'll invite all your friends to Chuck E. Cheese's for old times sake."

Sterling pales before storming out of the room. I pinch the bridge of my nose, I'm so not ready for the teenage years. This house can only hold so much angst.

Hours later, the twins still aren't talking to each other. Sterling is with Sage in the basement so after debating with myself for twenty minutes I knock on Silvers door.

Usually I just barge on in but I want to actually get information from him. I have to be nice.

His door flings open seconds later, his hair is a mess and for a moment I'm stunned by how mature he's getting. It seems like just yesterday he was bouncing off the walls in a diaper.

I'm knocked from my nostalgia with a rude "What?"

Now I remember that cute diaper kid grew up, what joy. I march to his bed and sit down, Sam must've cleaned because there's no longer a smell. His chalkboard is littered with World War Two scribbles, he mentioned his sudden interest with it. 

I motion for him to join me and he begrudgingly does. "What the hell is going on with you two?"

He stays quiet for a while, a silent debate going on in his mind. "Nothing." He finally says, biting his thumb. " It's just I don't like to celebrate my birthday anymore."

He's lying to my face. Ok, no more nice act, I've tried to pretend everything is fine. I want answers. "Don't give me that excuse, I understand this is a sad time for all of us, trust me, I get it. But this has been going on for over a month."

He opens his mouth to protest but I don't let him speak, "I know you lied about why you got knocked out, you left your brother at the game, and you're keeping secrets from me. I'm not stupid, Silver."

He gulps, avoiding eye contact with me. "I know it's just I'm... going through some stuff right now."

I hear how scared he sounds, my arms immediately wrapping him up in a hug. I forget how weird the transition into your teen years can be. Perhaps I'm being to insensitive.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I offer, hoping he'll say yes. I really want to help him.

Right before he can answer the door opens, Sterling walking in. No one moves for a second, I don't know what to say because I'm pretty sure Silver's answers going to be yes.

"Can I talk to him?" Sterling asks.

No, I was at a breakthrough point, dude, get in line. I glance down at Silver who nods assuringly, "Sure."

The door is slammed shut before I'm even all the way out. Oh, yeah, I'm really gonna love the teenage years.

*****

I'm so sorry. I'm not dead.
Prom was last weekend and then I have three AP exams this next week and then finals the week after that. Then I'll be done with junior year and summer will be here.
XO-Mo

You are reading the story above: TeenFic.Net