Chapter Twenty-Five: Part I

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Misidentification 

Another day driving meant another day that the four of them were forced to get out of the car to avoid the confined space. They had often gotten out to stretch, Ines didn't seem to trust anyone else with the car and stopped frequently. Yet they found themselves getting out of the car for a reason beyond their bodies, beyond their control. Rocks and mud covered the road from the cut-out road down into the forest below. 

"I thought mudslides only happened in fall," Ines commented as the four stared at their roadblock. 

Hannil stared at it the longest and was the only one to approach the mudslide and try to move some of the rocks. They were too large for him to move and he only covered his nice clothes in mud and the wet trees were unhelpful in his attempts to remove it.

Celeste shivered in the cold; they were so high up that it no longer felt like summer. The cold wind blew through them and even Hannil relented to its force. They returned to the car and it was incredibly silent as they sat.

Hannil had been in a good mood most of the drive, Noah had thought. He had held his hand for so long that Noah could still feel his hand in his. Now Hannil looked bitter as if the mudslide had personally scorned him. He looked over the map for a few minutes before he took in several ragged breaths.

It was silent until he asked: "Does anyone know when the next heavy rain is to strike?"

Celeste turned to him for a moment, she stared at him almost bitterly before she asked Ines in French and had a small conversation with her. Ines clicked the touchscreen on the dashboard and went through several layers of French apps before she answered: "Seven hours."

Hannil looked even more frustrated by the answer and got out of the car to begin looking in the forest.

"What is he doing?" Celeste whispered to Noah.

"I don't know," Noah replied with a small shake of his head. 

After a while, Noah got out of the car and looked up at the overcast sky. It was grey and the clouds were low, the roads not nearly as beautiful as it had been before, but he still considered them to be so. The sky disappeared when Noah went into the forest, the trees were so thick it gave him pause in his search, it was nearly night in there. 

"Hannil?" Noah called out instead of following the direction he vanished.

"Yes?" Hannil replied quickly from within.

"What are you doing?"

"Checking," Hannil answered.

Noah put his hand on a tree to balance himself as he leaned more into the forest. Every shadow caught his attention, too many trees were vague figures. There were simply too many dangers; his entire being told him he should not enter. That there was something within; despite that Noah thought his anxiety was simply anxiety, he stayed at the first line of trees.

A minute passed before Hannil came back into view, he was looking up and down each tree he walked by.

"What are you doing?" Noah asked more pointedly.

"Checking," Hannil replied once more, the word stressed.

"For what?"

Hannil looked at him before he gestured for him to come into the forest. Noah hesitated before he stepped to the tree Hannil was looking at. Hannil pointed him to an old carving of three lines in a tree that had two more going through them. It looked as though it had been done time and time again, but was still old and scarred. 

"Because there are no major roads in or out of the village," Hannil explained, "They leave markers of places to stay in case the roads are damaged by weather or otherwise blocked. Of course," he shrugged, "you have to know where the markers are."

"Like the village?"

"Like the village."

"Okay," Noah took in a deep breath, "This guy is clearly very paranoid."

Hannil chuckled.

"What does this one mean?" Noah pointed to it.

Hannil shrugged, "It is basically saying turn back. It's too dangerous to stop here."

"Great," Noah answered dryly.

Hannil turned him by his shoulder, "Don't worry, Squeakie. We'll find a place to stay for the night."

"Why the night?" He asked as Hannil led him out, walking behind him.

"No roads around this one," Hannil said. "Even if we turn back, we'll only end up here." He playfully shook him as they walked, "Don't worry—stick close to me and you'll be fine. I'll fight a wolf, you're worth that!"

Noah chuckled, "What if a bear comes?"

"Oh, you're not worth a bear!"

Noah frowned.

Hannil moved to wrap his arm around Noah's neck, bringing his head down to forcibly rub his opposite hand on top of his head.

"You really want me to fight a bear?" Hannil teasingly asked.

"Stop!" Noah whined as he tried to free himself, "I just don't know what you're doing."

Hannil patted his head, "Oh, will you just trust me?"

Noah shook his head once Hannil let go of him; he was a bit dizzy from it and felt as though his hair were standing on end and he was elated from the affection. 

"You still didn't answer!" Hannil said loudly.

"What?" Noah replied.

Hannil laughed loudly before he walked back to the car. Noah straightened out his hair before he realized Hannil's meaning. Noah still didn't feel he admit that he trusted him as he watched Hannil explain to Ines and Celeste through the car's rear window. He watched them, for a moment, thinking that it was such a sustained chaos he never imagined. He was glad Hannil wasn't angry, he settled, that alone made him feel lighter.

In the mud, Noah got cold after another wind whipped down through the pass. Father Antoine's clothes were nowhere near thick enough to warm him. He didn't know how the Father kept warm in such thin clothes; the mountains were far colder than Noah imagined.

He stuffed his hands in his pockets to try to maintain some warmth. After he did so, he felt a small object in his pocket. He slowly took it out of his pocket to find a small rock, with a shrug, Noah put the rock back in his pocket and returned to the car. He thought that he could return it to the Father when he returned the clothes. 

"This forest is old," Ines commented as Noah and Hannil got into the car.

"Yes," Hannil answered, "Very."

Noah became anxious when Hannil reclined in his seat and stayed there. Part of Noah wondered if he could move to the seat between them without making his advances strange. After all, Noah wagered, Hannil was just a nice person. Noah was pulling his fingers so hard in attempts to crack that even he thought that he might dislocate them as he wondered if it was appropriate. 

In the silence, Noah's mind drifted back to Hannil and the confessions before his confession. He guessed, that, due to his trust issues, it was best that Hannil hadn't told him. Yet some part of him was at ease. Pieces fell into place, he felt as though he knew a bit more truth. Hannil knowing things about Mi Na and Berg made more sense; Spears and Mi Na calling out to Hannil on the night they escaped made even more.

Or, a thought crept, was Hannil only trying to distract him from what he told him? Was confessing love to him a joke? An act? To keep Noah from pressing further into what Berg wanted Hannil to do to him? 

It was a new anxiety that ravaged the inside of Noah's mind as the car made it back down the road and found a spot where they could camp. They set up their tents in a hurry to avoid the rain. It was the first time Hannil seemed utterly clueless of what to do and Noah took over, directing him around until their tents were set up.

Noah could hardly talk to him, the thought of it somehow being a trap he was falling right into didn't feel as wrong as he wanted it to. Hannil shouldn't be interested in him, he told himself, there was no reason for him to be.

Even after he had laid out their borrowed-sleeping bags and settled down, the rain lightly pelting their roof, the canopy of the trees catching most of it, Noah's anxiety ran ramped.

He enjoyed the noise of the rain, it helped him to think but thinking alone only allowed him to think that it was more and more sensical that Hannil was in some big plot against him. He ended up on his sleeping bag in the tent, hearing the rain and Celeste and Ines's voices in the tent beside theirs. Hannil was to his left by the door and smoking as the rain came down. Noah desperately wanted to focus on Hannil, to try to talk to him, but he remained silent and unable to connect back to Hannil until he spoke first.

"Hopefully this will move them," Hannil said.

Noah flinched, "What?"

"The boulders," he replied as he looked at the rain. "I'm hoping another mudslide will move them."

"Oh," Noah replied.

He looked to his lap, his hands weren't shaking but they were violently cold without Hannil's hand between them. He almost wished for it back, but it made his stomach churn. He didn't know and felt he could never know when someone was using him. When someone actually cared about him. Who he was.

"Are you alright?" Hannil's voice interrupted his thoughts yet again.

"What?" Noah answered yet again.

He laughed into his drag and stamped out his cigarette in an ashtray before he moved back inside of the tent and shut the door.

"You're very out of it," Hannil commented, "Are you feeling well?"

"I'm fine," Noah quickly answered.

Hannil took in a deep breath and stared at him before he settled cross-legged on his own sleeping bag. In the small tent, he sat across from Noah. So close Noah could touch him. Hannil leaned on his knee closest Noah, it made their knees touch. 

"Did I bother you by holding your hand?" Hannil asked. Seemingly unaware of their physical contact. 

Noah turned his attention to Hannil but didn't meet his gaze. "No," he answered.

"I know you don't like being touched. I should have known better."

"That's not it."

"Then what is it?"

"Nothing."

"That face is not 'nothing'."

Noah met his gaze then; Hannil sat with his chin on his palm, his elbow on his knee, his back slumped. His height was below Noah's, it forced his green eyes to look through his dark eyelashes and eyebrows at him. He was deathly beautiful, Noah thought, an easy conman. He felt guilty for thinking it; Hannil had helped him so far and had been so nice to him. Yet Noah couldn't help feeling as though it were a plot.

"What did you," Noah paused in his sentence; his guilt choked his words. 

"Is it about what I said last night?" Hannil asked.

Noah nodded.

"About Leuthold?"

He nodded. 

[ A/N: this chapter is long but hard to split up, gotta have some cliffhangers. This chapter will be split into 3 parts because it is so long. But anyway, if you enjoyed this first part, let me know by voting and/or commenting! ] 

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