๐‚๐‡๐€๐๐“๐„๐‘ ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ”

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๐“š๐“ป๐“ฒ๐“ผ๐“ฝ๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ฎ

"Close your eyes and count to three."

Taking in a deep breath, I closed my eyes. It was like I got pulled out of reality, I didn't even realise I was walking down the stairs. It felt like walking on the surface of the water and I was getting pulled down.

1ย 

Another step.

2ย 

Another step.

3ย 

Fall.

Suddenly, a hand took hold of my upper arm. Opening my eyes, I was breathing heavily, unable to get the amount of oxygen I needed to fill my lungs. Looking up to see the owner of the hand, I found that it belonged to Nicholas.

He didn't say anything at first but just stared at me like I was a creature he was most keen on saving but ended up living behind to die. "Are you alright?", he asked.

I realised we were on the plateau of the staircase, taking a step back he released my upper arm and I took in a breath before responding. "All good." He didn't buy that, of course. Nobody would."Bad habit. I tend to zone out and become unaware of my surroundings", I paused, "Thank you for preventing me from falling flat on my face", I chuckled but it lacked all sense of humour.

Nicholas's face was serious as his eyes searched for the truth until I looked away and cleared my throat.ย 

"Thank you, again. You must excuse me now", I said and walked away.ย 

Now Tuesday, the first lecture was at 10 am, which was Geography. Making my way toward the class, my head started to hurt again. Getting headaches was a normal thing for me, but this felt different. I was walking at full speed until my shoulder collided with somebody else's. I looked up and saw Charles. He looked down at me with eyebrows furrowed as if I was weirder than I appeared to be.

"I'm so sorry. I'll watch where I'm going next time." I gave him a small smile before continuing to walk.

Finally, I reached Geography class.ย 

That felt like the longest trip of my life.

Taking a seat at my usual spot, I took off my backpack and took out my MacBook. After setting it on the table, I hung my backpack over the back of my seat. I happened to be aย  few minutes early so I folded my arms and placed them on the table before resting my head over them. I closed my eyes. My head was pounding, if I open my eyes, I'll see the room spinning.ย 

15 minutes later

I heard the sound of a keyboard typing. My eyes flickered open. Groaning slightly, I pulled my head up while holding it. Turning to my right, Ashton was looking at me with a worried look on his face.ย 

"You. .ok?", he asked softly.ย 

I just smiled and nodded. He didn't look like he bought it, instead, he continued to look at me with concern. He tilted his head to the side to look at my face better, while I opened my MacBook.ย 

"You have a headache don't you?", he asked. His voice was softer than usual, almost like a whisper.ย 

"I'm fine." I gave him a reassuring smile before starting to type away on my laptop.

No, I was not. My head was about to explode. I was feeling beyond dizzy but tried my very best to not show it by just continuing to type on our shared document.ย 

"Maybe we should split the research. I'll do the top half points and you can do the bottom half?", I asked and he nodded while looking at his MacBook.ย 

48 minutes later

๐“๐“ผ๐“ฑ๐“ฝ๐“ธ๐“ท

"What do you call an alligator in a vest?", Kristine asked while walking backwards as she faced me. I thought about it for a second but came up with nothing. I looked at her expectantly and she spoke.ย 

"An investigator." She giggled.ย 

God . .ย  this girl . . . . .

I shooked my head and laughed lightly while looking in the other direction.

"Wow. That was hilarious", I said sarcastically.

"I know right? I should be a comedian." She congratulates herself by giving a pat on her shoulder. I chuckled and smiled at the girl in front of me, who gave me one of her beautiful smiles that could make any guy fall to their knees.

There really was something about Kristine. But I could never figure out what. She's different, I know that. The day I saw her slide down the stair bannister with that breathtaking smile of hers, I couldn't help but smile while watching her but was glad she didn't notice. I knew then for sure, that she was different.

I couldn't help but always stare at her and it's not just because she's pretty. She makes me feel something I never thought was possible. Yesterday when she said, "Don't be Ashton Lennox. Just be yourself", I felt this euphoric feeling so powerful, that I literally thought I was dying. But yeah, also, because she's literally the prettiest girl I've ever seen.ย 

Furthermore, I feel comfortable around her. She's bright, funny, smart, confident and kind. The aura she gives off keeps attracting me to her. She's drawing and pulling me in so easily.ย 

"Alright alright, the comedian will now give one more joke", she announced and I chuckled at the seriousness in her voice.

"Why do horses have hooves instead of feet?"ย 

I just stared at her clueless.ย 

"Because they lactose!" She started laughing and I bit my lip before joining her.ย 

"That was so bad!", I argued and laughter followed after.

"Says the one who's laughing!", she retorted while laughing along with me.

"I'm laughing because it was bad!"ย 

"Oh really?" She narrowed her eyes at me, giggling.ย 

"Really." I gave a nod and stared at her as she turned to face the front. Honestly, I could never help but stare at her, she's got me in this trance. I always forced myself to look away because I didn't want to make her uncomfortable. If she let me, I would like nothing more than to just stare at her all day.ย 

I'm starting to think I have a crush on her.

Wait, do I have a crush on Kristine?ย 

โ‡โ‡โ‡

"How the hell did you kill me?!", I exclaimed while staring at my half of the screen that had the phrase GAME OVER written on it.

"I just did." Kristine shrugged her shoulders and smirked proudly.

I scoffed. "You said you've never played this version of Call of Duty."

"I haven't. But I've played Call of Duty and there's not much of a difference. I have the basic skills." She winked and I groaned.

I just got defeated by a girl. Surprisingly, I didn't mind it. Because it was her. I'd let her beat me up even if she wanted to.ย 

What the hell am I even saying?

Here we are in my room after I invited her over to play video games before lunch.

All of a sudden, somebody knocked on my room door. Kristine glanced at me and I shrugged my shoulders, indicating I don't know who it was. I got up from the couch and opened the door.ย 

"Let's head for lunch - Kristine??" Xavier's eyes widened a bit when he looked over my shoulder.

"Hi", Kristine greeted softly. She grabbed her backpack and walked to stand beside me. "Shall we head for lunch?", she asked me with a smile. I nodded while returning her smile and the three of us headed toward the dining hall.ย 

"Why was she in your room?", Xavier whispered asked me while Kristine walked in front of us.ย 

"Video games", I said. Xavier looked at me confused.ย 

"She plays video games?"

"My god yes, I do. Please don't tell me you questioned it just because I'm a girl, Xavier Valdรฉz." She turned to face us and raised a brow at Xavier. I chuckled with a grin on my face while Xavier looked nervous. "Kidding." She winked.ย 

Xavier sighed in relief while I laughed quietly. This girl really is something.

"Damn", Xavier mumbled.ย 

"Exactly."

โ‡โ‡โ‡

๐“š๐“ป๐“ฒ๐“ผ๐“ฝ๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ฎ

Currently, at 2:05 pm, I was now in my Music class. Sitting in the same seat as last class with Charles right next to me. Till now, I didn't know why he did. The only communication between us starts with me saying 'Hi' and him either saying 'Hi' in return or just nodding.ย 

Maybe, it's better that way.

Today was the class where we had to perform something. My eyes widened at the realisation.ย 

How on Earth did I forget?ย 

Students were prepared with their instruments ready in their hold. I glanced at Charles and saw his violin case placed by his feet. Fortunately, I have a few options. I could play the piano or just sing. I didn't practice but it was better than running out of the door and looking like a complete coward.

Time passed, and half of the class has already performed. Now it was Charles's turn. I watched his tall figure descend down the steps and walked onto the platform with his violin casing in hand. He placed his case down and opened it, revealing the wooden, four-string, polished instrument.ย 

He took it out of its casing with the bow, very carefully, like it was the most delicate thing in the entire world. When he tucked the bottom of the violin beneath his chin with one hand and held the bow in the other, he started to play.ย 

Unconsciously, a smile made its way to my face. Not because of how skilful and professional he was when he played the violin but because of the way he played so passionately. His eyes were closed as he played a lively and eloquent melody.ย 

He really is good.

The entire time he played, I had a small smile on my face. When he ended his piece, the entire class applauded him, including me. He gave a respectful bow before packing his violin and making his way back to his seat. When he took a seat, his body was stiff as a statue. Is he always like this?

"You were amazing", I said.ย 

He glanced at me. "Thank you", he replied with a monotone voice, clearing his throat after.ย 

Now, it was my turn.ย 

Standing up from my seat, I made my way down the steps and onto the stage. I'm used to receiving stares but today I actually felt nervous. Maybe it's because I'll be playing the piano in front of people other than my family. After giving a small smile to my Music teacher, who stood on the right side of the stage, I made my way to the piano.ย 

I took a seat on the piano bench and took in a deep breath while placing my fingers on the keys. Exhaling, my fingers started to play. I played a piece that reminded me of one person, and one person only. He would always sit by my side while I practised this piece. I told him one day when I'm able to play the entire piece, it will be dedicated to him.ย 

That one day is today.

I've played this many times enough to know which keys to play without my eyes open. My eyes fell shut and I allowed the music to take me away to the safe place where he rested.

I'm a complicated person, who has done many bad things, but I still had feelings. He always understood that. He was patient with me. Now, I lost him.ย 

I lost him.

I lost him.

I lost him.

Is this me giving up?

I was called insane for believing he could still be alive, but who am I kidding? This dying hope would lead me to my grave and I needed to clear away our paths that have been swiped clean. All our leaves, petals and twigs. Gone.ย 

But the thorns remained in the deepest depth of my mind and heart.ย 

You're not broken.

You'll find a safe place.

You'll be ok.

You'll be able to breathe without choking.

You'll be fine.

Kristine, breathe.ย 

Breathe.

Breathe.

I'm dying.

Breathe.

Breathe.

Rest well, my best friend.


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