10 | hurl

❝But why, why, why can't people just say what they mean?❞

Graeme Simsion, The Rosie Project

a l i x

Outside of the yard and from the intensity, he was dragging me towards his car - another brand. I didn't protest against not going to wherever he was going. It wouldn't make sense if I went back and worsen the situation.

Some neighbors were surrounding the car and checking it how it looks. They all admired it and obviously wanted it.

"This hasn't even come out yet, how'd he get it?" One of my neighbors, Mr. Johnson, said.

"How would you know?" One asked.

"I'm a car dealer," he rolled his eyes. "I know my stuff."

As Nate walked speedily to the car with his grip around my wrist, he stopped and sighed. Mr. Johnson asked him how he got it and Nate seemed to be genuinely annoyed with his curt and irritated tone.

"Alix, dear?" My neighbor, Mrs. Perry, someone that used to babysit me when I was younger when Jane was working asked. So I called her Aunt Sara.

"Oh, hi Auntie," I waved at her with my free hand. "What's up?"

"Oh I'm fine," she smiled, her wrinkles revealing. "But who's car is that parked in front of the house?"

"Oh, it's Nate's car, my - uh," I stammered. Nate glanced at me blankly.

"I'm just her acquaintance," he stated, "picking her up."

"But I heard she moved out," Mrs. Perry said in a confusing tone. "Where?"

"She moved in with me," Nate responded, forgetting the part that I was also living with other people.

"You're just her acquaintance, are you sure you aren't more to her?" She placed her hands on her hips and furrowed her eyebrows.

"It's none of your business, you old hag," Nate retorted.

"I'm just looking out for her, young man," she wagged her index finger with sass.

"Let's go," he said monotonously, opening the door for me.

"It's okay," I assured Auntie Sara with a smile.

"Take care of yourself Alix," she said in a concerned tone.

"I will," I nodded. Before I completely sat down in the passenger's seat, she called out again.

"And one more thing," she said. "Teach your 'acquaintance' some respect towards elders and everyone else."

"Idiot," I heard the expected response from Nate.

"Will do!" As if I could if I tried, Nate's heart is as cold as a blizzard- if he even has one. I'm surprised he hasn't caught a cold from it yet. Through my eyes, he was heartless, nonchalant with zero feelings. He basically doesn't care. Well, what I think.

He started the engine and drove off. One question was lingering in my mind. How did he know Austin? I contemplated if I should ask him or not. Maybe he'll ignore me, but what if he doesn't?

"Can you explain something to me?" I asked in the most casual tone I was able to speak.

"Depends," he responded.

"I'm being serious," I deadpanned.

"So am I." He glanced at me for a short while.

"Why did you hurt Austin when he was already injured?" I didn't twist or turn anything, I came straight out.

"Why?" He repeated. "I should've put him out of his misery. Killed him when I had the chance."

"For god's sake," I groaned. "You can't just go killing around people!"

"Why shouldn't I?" He questioned. "You saw something, didn't you?"

"Saw what?" I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Something flashed in your mind," Nate stated. "Wasn't that the case?"

Then it came back flashing in my mind again. The woman, now I could hear the tone of her voice, yet I couldn't make out her words. It didn't make one single sense to me. Who on earth was she? Was she... Aliana?

"Oi!" He snapped me out from the thought. "See, you spaced out."

"Nate?" I asked worriedly. "What's happening to me?"

Nate took in a deep breath. "This is exactly why I wanted to avoided this. He should've kept his goddamned mouth shut."

"Nate, please tell me!" I begged. "I'm sure it was just a dream I dreamed up."

"It's too soon." He shook his head. "You're in denial already."

"I don't care!" I screamed. "Just tell me!"

"You can go on your knees if you want," his calm tone made me even more irritated. "I will not tell you."

"I hate you," I spat, hoping it shot right through him and had some effect so he could at least tell me. He never really tells me anything. I wanted him to tell me something before, and I needed to know.

"That's nice," he responded.

"Can't you care for something for once?" I snarled. "Even if you're just acting like you do! Can't you?"

He tightened his grip around the steering wheel so tight his fists turned white. "If I said I care," he said, "will that make you happy?"

"Unbelievable!" I groaned in frustration.

"Could you be anymore irritating?" He said in a blunt matter.

"Look who's talking!" I raised my eyebrows. "You're the one who's like that!"

His hand reached over to my side, in front of me and found its way to the roof of the car and flipped it open. "Have you looked in the mirror lately?"

I stared at my reflection. I was beyond furious - no, I was more than furious. I felt like I was close to my breaking point. Being powerless against Nate's emotions were overwhelming. "You know what, I don't care anymore, let me out."

"I rather not," he kept his glance forward. We were on an unfamiliar road. No cars were found on the road and no signs of life in the forests from here.

"Let. Me. Out," I insisted. Maybe he'd tell me about what I saw if I did this. That was the plan. And if he did I would stay in the car. But what would I do if he actually let me out? I needed to have a trump card.

My heart nearly jumped out my chest. He turned off the road and parked there. Oh god, I thought. He couldn't, he wouldn't. Nate released his grip from the steering wheel and turned to face me. I turned away. I definitely didn't want to see the expression on his face. God, I am such a coward.

"Alix," he said, making me flinch. "Look at me."

I glanced at the car door's handle. I can get out of this car right know. I kept my glance forward and didn't look at him. Then I felt his grip around both of my hands. He shook me and pulled me to look at him. His eyes. There was something burning behind them. There was something more to his empty eyes.

"I apologize for my behavior," he looked straight into my eyes. "Out of everyone else in the word I'm apologizing to you."

"Hey!"

"Just be quiet and sit back goddammit." He released the grip by shoving my hands away and placed them back on the steering wheel. It hurt. Not my hands - but everything.

Still, he hasn't told me anything. I probably shouldn't push it because it's for the best. It can wait, right? I could always ask him again.

It didn't make sense to dwell on the thoughts. Life's too short to be miserable. I couldn't help but to smile at myself. "I didn't expect you-"

Before I could finish he turned and gave me a look. I stared for a while, realized, then swiftly turned my head to the trees whizzing as we drove passed them. Then before you knew it, he unbuckled my seatbelt, opened the door and pushed me out within a second.