04 | therapy

❝Words do not express thoughts very well, they always become a little different after they are expressed, a little disorted, a little foolish.❞

Hermann Hesse

a l i x

My arrival to home was bound to be late. Looking for Ness and both talking to Nick made it longer. Maybe I should've never brought Ness to the park because now that image of that unbelievably large wolf was stitched into my mind.

Was it even a wolf? I questioned myself.

I honestly think a wolf can't grow to that unusually large size.Besides, if I told someone what I saw, they'd think I'm a lunatic. Might as well send me to a mental institution.

Hopefully when I arrive home, Jane won't be downstairs but inside her room watching television or on her phone, If she caught me, she would've hold me for interrogation. The last time that happened it wasn't a very eventful week, due to how I was grounded. At least I have a few excuses that are believable, and some true. I really don't want to bother with a lecture so I'll just sneak in.

Sneaking through the back gate without making a noise was a hassle but I managed to open it without a sound. It took a while though. I sneaked through the bushes, making my way to the window to crawl through. I prayed that she wasn't in the living room.

About to put Ness inside, I felt a hand cover my mouth, pulling me in. My first instinct was to attack this person but I decided not to since it was someone I knew. "Sshh, she's in the living room. You can't go through there."

"Nicholas? Why do you keep following me?"I whispered and shouted after he took his hand off my mouth. Of course I'd feel odd if a guy was following me for some what reason. Who knows why this boy is following me around.

Nate didn't have to give orders to Nick to watch me, specifically. I know he did this. He was full of himself. I don't have much problems walking around in this town. It was unnecessary.

Ness growled, knowing he isn't supposed to be here. Nick growled back. Ness surprisingly whimpered and took a few steps back. I blinked slowly.

"Keep your voice down and tell your dog to be quiet," he whispered. "You don't want to get into trouble, do you?"

"No.. just why are you following me around?" I questioned again.

"I'm just here to help you, alright?" He nodded.

"The real reason?" I raised my eyebrows, looking straight at him.

"Alright, Nate told me to." I knew it! The sound of that name immediately made my heart race faster. Although he isn't interested in me at all, I'm not phased. Putting up with boys and letting them down is the least thing I do in my lifetime. I'm not very good at it either.

"Do you have to follow everything he says?" I whined. Was he his slave? It seems like it.

"Forget what I said. Let's just get you inside, alright?" Nick suggested. I was gladly to agree to that because that was my objective; to get inside without getting caught.

"I'll distract her, sounds good?" I nodded. Nicholas jumped up and went around the to the front of the house. I heard the doorbell, signaling me to get ready to go through the window. I see a glimpse of Jane trotting to the door, answering it.

"Hello, Alix left her shirt and I thought I could give it back." Placing Ness inside, I pushed weight on myself, quickly crawled through the window then quietly ended up on the ground. I left my shirt? I groaned mentally. That sentence screamed many meanings.

I hid behind the couch, looking up to make sure she wasn't looking. These were one of my hiding places as a child, meaning that if she came, I could easily go around the couch and run straight towards and up the stairs.

Ness panted loudly and I needed her to stop. "Sshh girl."

"Well aren't you a handsome fellow!" I see a glimpse of Aunt Jane pinching his cheeks and I couldn't help but to laugh a little. But I made sure I did quietly. Way to go, Jane.

I got up off my feet and tiptoed my way to the stairs, and on my way, I bumped my toe at the corner of the couch. How typical Alix. It hurt. It hurt so bad, I wanted to scream. So since I couldn't, it sounded like an inhumane noise.

"Did you hear that?" I heard Jane question.

"Wait!" I heard Nicholas call out. She stopped and faced Nick, waiting for him to speak. Hopefully it'll be a lengthy sentence. "You, uh, forgot the shirt."

That bought me a little amount of time - but just enough - so I dashed up the stairs not knowing she heard me. But she didn't hear me, she heard Ness. "Did you hear that?" I heard her question. Oh god.

"Ness," I grunted. She tilted her head and looked at me confusingly.

"It was probably the dog," Nick was now inside the house. "But she didn't come home, she's supposed to."

"How come I saw her coming in?" Nicholas backed me up. I quickly picked up Ness and ran for it to my room. Closing the door quietly behind me, I placed her down and got out my laptop, jumping on the bed. Quickly plugging my headphones in, I placed them in my ears and did my routine.

The door opened, revealing both Nick and Jane. "Oh! She is here!" She laughed nervously as Nick smirked at me.

"You forgot your shirt." He entered the room and placed the shirt on a chair. He winked at me and walked out the door. "It was nice meeting you..."

"Jane." They shook hands and he was off. "See you later Alix." I let out a sigh of relief. Thank heavens that Nick was here. If he wasn't here, Jane would lecture the daylight out of me. I've never thought I'd say this, but thanks Nate for having him watch me. Why would I need to be watched anyway? I've never needed someone to watch over me every second of the day.

"He's a nice boy Alix," Jane pointed out.

"He didn't even say anything for you to say that," I rolled my eyes. It was the truth. He didn't say much to her that said anything about that. He just met her.

"He seems nice." She shrugged.

"What about Nate, huh?" I raised my eyebrows. "You assumed I had sex with him, so why didn't you assume with Nick?"

"Huh?" She looked at me dumfounded. "Oh, uh, you said you stayed with him?"

"So did I with Nicholas. They both live in the same house." I sat up and folded my arms. "Nate didn't say much either."

"Well," she started, "he looks old for you."

"We're in the same age group," I scoffed.

"Are we really having this conversation right now?" Jane sighed. "He just looks like the kind that'll drop any girl and move on without a care."

"You don't know him," I grumbled underneath my breath.

"You don't know him either," she snapped.

"How would you know?" I shot back.

"I only talked to him for like a day," she mocked me in a high pitched voice.

"I don't talk like that," I mumbled.

"Whatever, child." She spun on her heel and walked off. We were right on track, back to our hold habits once again. I thought our relationship would be better between us after what happened.

Repeatedly, I heard something hitting the window from outside. I slowly walked up the window with many thoughts on what could be hitting the window. I opened the window and glanced down to just see a boy outside it. "Luke, what are you doing here?!"

"I didn't get your number," Luke smiled sheepishly.

"My number?" I looked at him confusingly. I mean, clearly Luke thought of me for more than a friend. I don't have an idea of how to let a guy down that I have no feelings towards. But I don't think someone would like that.. "How did you even get here?"

Before I could ask anything else, another figure was behind him and I stared right at Luke. "What is it?" Luke laughed nervously. He soon realized and turned around.

"Woah, what's she doing in your yard?" He turned around and was startled by Tay, slowly stepping back.

"Huh..?" I stopped him before he could even ask another question. "She's my friend."

"What's he doing in your yard anyway?" Tay folded her arms and looked at Luke with a death glare. "You-know-who won't like the idea of this."

"What?" Luke questioned and looked at me dumbfounded. "Is she taken?"

"Yes she is, idiot," Tay scoffed. "Now buh-bye." Tay started pushing him out of the backyard through the yard.

"I can walk out myself," Luke snapped.

"I'll talk to you later!" I waved at him as he turned his head. He said something but not loud enough for me to hear, but for Tay to hear. Tay stared at him then pushed him again.

"No she won't," Tay grunted.

"You didn't have to treat him like that," I sighed.

"Yeah, well," she exhaled, "you know what Nate'll say. Don't let him come into your yard. He'll wonder who's smell is that."

"Oh?" I didn't interpret what she said but I chose not to bother her about it.

"Oh, right. Nate'll explain later so you can fully understand." Tay took a few steps back and jumped high enough to have a grip on the window. She swung in and landed on the floor without a scratch.

She smirked at me and I looked at her in astonishment. "Why was a boy in your yard Alix?" Tay plopped down on my bed.

"I don't know, I just met him at the park," I shrugged.

"Not from what I heard him say," Tay said.

"What?" I asked confusingly, furrowing my eyebrows.

"Never mind," she sighed. "From Nicholas, I heard you were in the forest, why?" Not surprised that he didn't tell her everything.

"Like I said to him, I kind of lost my dog and I went looking for her," I explained fully, hoping she wouldn't ask about anything else.

"Is that all you saw? Nick?" She looked straight in my eyes.

"Yeah.. and trees.." I laughed nervously.

"Good, I was hoping you said that," Tay smiled and nodded.

"Why?" I asked out of curiosity.

"Like I said before, Nate'll explain," Tay said a matter-of-fact.

"Fine," I placed my hands up in defeat and fell backwards on the bed beside her. Nate this, Nate that. Everything's Nate. Hearing his name made me feel unusual..

I turned my head to face her, I asked her, "Tell me?" Before she could even open her mouth, another voice spoke for her.

"She can't Alix," Nick had a tone of irritation. He stood, leaning on the wall with his arms folded.

"How'd you get in here?" I stared at him. I didn't even hear a sound when he came in. He moved his head to the direction of the window, indicating that's how he made it in here. Ness stayed quiet surprisingly.

"You guys can't be in here. Who knows when my aunt will walk in!" I complained. That was enough said. What'll happen if she finds two people in my room without them going through the front door? It isn't physically possible to get up here through the window.

He walked up to the door and locked it, "problem solved."

"No, not really," I chewed on my lip nervously.

"Who else was in the yard?" Nick questioned. I've always said this but maybe I shouldn't have made a friend.

"It was a boy, alright," And with the mention of a boy, he shot me a glare. "I didn't tell him to come here! That was his choice!"

"Alix, are you talking to yourself again?" I heard Jane ask outside my bedroom door.

"No, I'm on the phone with Nick," I quickly said, praying she'll walk away soon.

"Nice boy," she said like earlier. Nick looked at me with a look but I only rolled my eyes in response.

"Jane," I whined.

"Oh, right, sorry," I heard her trailing off with her footsteps down the hall.

"Your aunt is.." I looked at him confusingly. Where's he going with this? "Different," he chuckled.

"I know.." I feel my cheeks warm with embarassment.

"Anyway you two lovebirds, I have to go now because it's my turn to be on watch," she laughed, getting up off the bed. Before she went off, she gave me a hug along with a smile.

"Stay safe Alix," Nick came closer to me for a hug, but once again he stopped midway. "Right, I can't hug you."

"Goodnight Alix," Tay waved, jumping out the window with Nick behind her. I watched them both jump down from the window, down on the ground without a bone being broken or anything twisted. Speedily, they pushed themselves up then jogged away and were off to their whereabouts.

-

"Good morning Alix! Wake up!" Jane chirped into my ear, opening the curtains, making me blind for a second.

"How'd you get in here?" I groaned loudly.

She placed her hands on her hips and said, "it's my house. Now, get up! The group therapy is starting soon."

The group therapy will work they said. It'll help me socialize they said. I hope all of that is true. I've never been to one before and I didn't plan to. Hopefully, it isn't a waste of time.

In the shower, I hoped the water would be warm, but instead it was in between. I could work with that. After I came out, I brushed my teeth. I walked out and secured the towel on myself. Don't want anything to happen again like the last time.

I decided to wear a long sleeved tan woolen shirt, stonewashed jeans and boots. I usually don't wear makeup and I had the supplies for it - which my aunt bought for me to boost my self esteem. Instead of doing that, I just placed my hair in a ponytail.

After two people had been in my room through a window, I decided to close it because it might've been possible to. I walked over to close it but a hand stopped me. His head rose so I could've seen his face.

"Nate." My eyes widened with surprise.

"I decided to give you a visit." I pushed the window back up a bit like it was before. Taking a few steps back, he came in my room and landed smoothly on the floor.

"What?" I knit my eyebrows together and continued to look at him. His attire were boots, blue jeans and a white V-neck that made his chiseled chest stand out. At this moment, I realized I was staring too much. Luckily, the expression would look confused on why he's here.

"Were you sent on a mission to kill me here?" I asked worriedly, knowing that the fact I was in the same room with Nate himself, alone.

"That's quite absurd," he mumbled.

"You could've come in here through the front door then," I grumbled.

"We both know your Aunt wouldn't like that," he stated the obvious.

"Who's the boy that was in the yard?" He asked, just as Tay warned.

"I thought Nick or Tay would've told you," I sighed. I really didn't want him to question me because I wouldn't want him to argue or fuss about it.

"What did he want?" Nate asked, still not getting the idea I wasn't interested in Luke.

"He wanted my number," I grumbled with annoyance filtered in.

"Did you give it to him?" He asked, pondering around the room and looking at the pictures I had on my dresser and walls.

"N-no, I would've but Tay stopped me," I laughed without humor.

"The poor boy," he started, "he thinks he has a chance with you."

"Maybe he does," I shrugged.

"Does he really?" He came closer to me immediately as I said that. Feeling his breath fan on my neck, he whispered, "I don't think so."

His warm breath gave me shivers as he whispered softly. He pulled away, leaving me dumbfounded for a while. I never really understood him. I don't think I can understand him for now or ever.

"Huh. I didn't know you were a blonde," he said, not surprised, still looking at old pictures of me.

"Oh, right. I dyed my hair this year," I stuttered.

"Whatever, do you want me to give you a ride?" He offered.

"I'm fine, thank you," I turned down his offer.

After I denied his offer, he just said "goodbye." Surprisingly, he didn't kill me. He left me with nothing more and jumped out the window. It was really confusing to keep up if he's serious or not.

I wiped that thought out of my head and went downstairs to see my aunt downstairs, waiting for me. "Ready?" She asked.

"Ready," I replied.

There wasn't much traffic in town so we arrived easily at the building where Mrs. Reynolds worked. I slammed the door with more force than needed. Jane leaned in from the window and said, "Make friends honey. And please be sure to be nice."

I nodded and entered the building, not feeling a bit anxious for once.

There is nothing to worry about Alix. I told myself. It's just a room filled with people that had life problems.

I walked up to the front desk with a lady no older than forty with chestnut hair flowing over her shoulders. "Yes?" She looked up with her crinkled eyes.

"Hi, I'm here for the group meeting?" She typed in the computer, searching for something. "I'm Alix Lowell by the way."

"Ah! Alix! Room thirty-seven!" Her smile grew. "Prettier than Cara described!"

"Thank you," I walked away with a smile on my face, making my way to Room thirty-seven. I took in a sharp breath and turned the doorknob. With the sight of someone that was clearly speaking, they stopped and everyone in the room turned their heads to me.

"I-I'm sorry. Did I interrupt?" I displayed a smile to be accepted enough.

"No, Mr. Sanders isn't here as yet," I heard a voice inform.

I walked in casually and sat in an empty seat beside a boy with pitch black hair. At the corner of my eye, I swore I saw him giving me an annoyed expression. I soon realized he was in a seat between two empty seats. He wanted no one to sit beside him but I did.

"Do you mind?" He looked at me angrily. I looked around and glanced back at him.

"H-huh?" I asked confusingly.

"Look, I-" He started.

"C'mon Chase, lighten up already! Give the girl a break." I heard a masculine voice say.

"Since when you had the authority to tell me what to do, Ryan," he spoke with anger in his voice.

"God Chase, you're quite the man," Ryan chuckled.

"Get away from me," Chase moved a seat away as Ryan sat down beside us.

"Ignore him," he smiled widely. "I'm Ryan."

"Uhm, I'm Alix." We both introduced ourselves. I heard Chase scoff.

"What is it now? Chase," Ryan hissed.

"That's none of your fucking business," Chase spat with pure disgust.

"Nuh uh, watch your profanity, there are children here."

Chase grunted and sank in his seat with folded arms. "Why do you guys argue?"

"Because he's a twat," Chase glowered as I asked Ryan.

"Could you shut up, she didn't ask you anything," Ryan tightened his jaw and he became tense. "I honestly don't know, he hates everyone but I argue back, no one else argues back."

"O-oh, okay," I nodded in understanding.

"Sorry I'm late!" The therapist of the group who was in charge of the group spoke with enthusiasm. He was only about in his late twenties that stood at 6 ft tall. His hair was light brown and had a strand on his face. "I'm Mr. Sanders everyone."

"Now, how about we get into it and introduce ourselves?" He clasped his hands together. "Let's start off with you Chase."

When Chase introduced himself, I learnt that his girlfriend died in a car crash, and it was his fault he says. He hasn't talked for years and no one knows but us.

"Chase.. you should tell your parents," Mr. Sanders advised. "I'll tell them myself then."

"Whatever, I'll tell them when I want to," he spoke with no interest and sat back down.

"Alright, your turn young lady," Mr. Sanders stood in front of me, implying that he was referring to me.

I shook my head and folded my arms, refusing to talk. He raised his eyebrows at me. I sighed and get up. "The name's