03. The Ghost of My Past

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For over eight years, I've been wondering if I will ever see the pair of those emerald irises again before I die. Every time I met a guy with green eyes, my heart skipped a beat with anticipation. Still, none of them were the ones I saw at that frat party. Sandy and Sophie, my sister, always emphasize that I was drunk that night, and that my memory of Chloe's father is unreliable. But I know better. I still remember the exact shade of green they were and how intense his eyes were when he looked at me. It felt like he was piercing me and searching for my soul.

Just like what's happening right now.

Tearing my eyes from him, I look down and stare at my beige shoes as if they become the most interesting objects to observe on earth. Mr. Tan's voice is muffled by the dull thumping sound in my ears as my heart beats so hard against my chest.

This can't be true. He can't be him. This is just one of those moments where I get caught up in the prospect of meeting the ghost of my past. This is just like every other day when I bumped into a pair of green eyes. They are everywhere, aren't they?

Also, judging from his age, which is probably thirty-five or thirty-six now, he must have been around twenty-seven at the time I slept with Chloe's father. He was a bit too old to lurk around a wild frat party, wasn't he? Then no, he can't be him. But why can't I shake away the thought of him being connected to Chloe? Is it because I've seen him somewhere online that my mind plays tricks on me? Is it because of the familiarity?

The familiarity.

A realization dawns on me like a bucket of cold water. No, it's not because I've seen his picture somewhere before orientation week. It's because I see a glimpse of him every day through my daughter's face. The resemblance between Chloe to him is undeniable. Those eyes. That nose. Those lips.

No. No. No.

This is just a coincidence.

This is just one of those typical days. Tomorrow, I will bump into another man with a pair of piercing emerald-green eyes that throws me back to the memory of that party. Because they are everywhere. Yes, Chloe's father is everywhere but here.

I've been sucked in by my thoughts when Gina pokes my waist with her elbow softly. I instantly turn my head to her but before I open my mouth to ask, I feel pairs of eyes on me. Scratch that. All eyes in this freaking meeting room are on me right now. Shit. What have I missed?

"It's your turn to introduce yourself," Gina whispers in my ear.

I nod and clear my throat while my brain digs into the lines I was practicing during my shower and my trip to work. Taking a deep breath, I force myself to make eye contact with everyone in the room, except Mr. Knight whose eyes are boring into mine now.

"Good morning, everyone. I'm Charlotte Garnett, but you can call me Charlie or Char; I will respond to either of them." I flash them a smile which I hope doesn't come off as a nervous wince. "My educational background is in business management, and I spent my last five years working in the construction industry. I was an executive assistant for a couple of years to start with, then I began my career in marketing and sales from there. And now, here I am. It's an honor to be given this opportunity and be a part of your respectful team. Your support and guidance will be very much appreciated."

My introduction ends with applause from my new colleagues, forcing me to push my earlier internal debate to the back of my mind.


My first day goes by faster than expected. It's another introduction day, but more details about my day-to-day job. Sebastian is appointed to be my mentor for my first two months, which means he will introduce me to our clients and show me how things work. Once I get the gist of my work demand, I will be left alone and deal with my own accounts, milking them dry and bringing in as much revenue as possible for this company. Then comes the moment of truth: I will stay or I will need to start looking for a new job.

"Guys, I have a dinner meeting tonight, so I'd like to be home on time," Max announces. I learned from Shanti that he and his wife are counting the days until their third child's arrival. It's his main reason to cut down his usual excessive working hours.

"Me too, today's been crazy," Shanti says as she stands up while tidying up the papers and stationery that have been scattered over her desk. "I'll come early tomorrow to make it up."

"I'm going too," Donna adds, glancing at Sebastian and me. "Sorry guys, you need to get the rest of the data yourself. I'll leave my computer on."

"How far are you with the report?" Max asks, putting on his leather jacket.

Sebastian, who has been burying his face in the computer screen, leans back against his seat headrest and runs his fingers through his blond hair. "Almost done. Fifteen minutes tops, then we're off. Gina is not coming back from the meeting, is she?"

"Not that I know. This client is very stiff and bureaucratic. They're giving her a real headache this time. Such a beadledom." Max shakes his head. "Alright, I'm off."

Once Max and the girls disappear behind the office door, Sebastian and I resume working on the report. This is a part of the training where I can learn about last month's figures and what to expect this month. I wish I could join the girls and call it a day because I'm tired. People say the first day at work is always draining, and I can confirm that.

I glance at the time on the computer screen that reads 5:29 PM. Chloe is with my sister right now, probably getting ready to be picked up soon. I need to call Sophie as soon as the report is done to let her know that I'm going to be late today.

"Do you have a date or something? You keep staring at the time," Sebastian asks.

"Oh no. I was thinking about my daughter and what to eat for dinner," I reply, laughing at how far my mind has drifted off from work.

Sebastian raises his eyebrows. "You have a daughter, too? Sweet! How old is she?"

"Seven. Well, she is turning eight this summer. How old is yours?"

Sebastian knits his eyebrows. "Oh wow! Almost eight already! Ours just turned three last month." He pauses, seeming hesitant about what he's going to say. "Not trying to be nosey, but you're barely thirty. You had her pretty young, huh?"

"Yeah."

I see the curious glint in his eyes but I decide not to give him further information about my situation with Chloe. This is a topic I prefer to keep private because I've chosen to lie to my own daughter. I'm not planning to turn it into a public deception.

Chloe started to ask about who her father was and his whereabouts when she was three. I couldn't answer her with "you were conceived during a drunken night and I don't know who your papa is". So, I lied. A white lie, of course. I told her that her father was Ethan, my college sweetheart, but sadly we didn't work out. We'd broken up before we found out I was pregnant with her, and Ethan had moved to the other side of the globe. We have lost contact ever since. I know I have to tell her the truth one day, but the day just hasn't come yet. I just can't bring myself to tell her that she was made during a one-night stand unintentionally because of the stupid broken condom.

The sound of chair wheels gliding across the floor pulls me out of my thoughts. Sebastian gets up and walks to the printer. After collecting the papers, he puts them on my desk. "If you can bring this upstairs, I will get the stuff for tomorrow's client meeting ready. Then we can leave this building before six."

"Upstairs?"

"To Mr. Knight's desk. He's expecting this today."

My heart leaps when I hear his name. "Can I just leave this on his secretary's desk?"

"Sure if someone is sitting there, but his assistant resigned, remember? Hmm, maybe he got an emergency replacement for today. You will find out soon enough." Sebastian shrugs as he plops down on his seat and starts rummaging through his shelf.

"Okay." I get up and grab the document. "Umm, thirteenth floor, right?"

"The one and only. The very lucky number for the badasses."



The trip to the thirteenth floor is torture. The thought of meeting Mr. Knight again gives me a twist in the stomach, and I can't even blame anyone for this.

After the kick-off meeting ended this morning, he came to me and shook my hand, welcoming me to Knight & Co. He was friendly yet distant, and there was no sign that he recognized me. Weirdly, it gave me a mixed feeling of relief and...disappointment?

Despite my attempt to ignore the tingling suspicion about him being Chloe's biological father, the thought keeps bugging me all day. And I don't know how to stop this.

Once the elevator doors slide open, I'm met with an office directory board where I can find my CEO's room. The thirteenth level is exclusively reserved for the directors of Remington Group and the chiefs of its subsidiaries. Unlike the layout on the fourth floor, all rooms here are separated by a normal wall. What a luxury of being on the top of the organization charts. Their privacy is well prioritized while we, who sit at the bottom of the chart, are blessed by a half-height partition. Hails, cubicles!

I groan when I see no one behind Mr. Knight's assistant's desk. Great. What do I do now? Knock on his door? Slide the papers through the gap under his door? Or run back to the fourth floor? Well, the idea of bolting out is tempting but I'd rather get my job done on my first working day.

Standing in front of his door, my eyes are glued to the nameplate on his door: Ashton Knight.

"Come in!" a deep voice echoes from inside the room. Is he in the middle of talking with someone now? Should I go back later?

"The door isn't locked! Just go in!"

Huh? Is it directed to me? But he can't see me standing behind his door, can he? And he definitely can't see me through the wall, unless he's Superman with an X-ray vision.

Not feeling convinced, I look around, wondering if maybe the voice is coming from somewhere else. But there is no one in sight. Before I know it, the door in front of me swings open, revealing the man I dread seeing.

Mr. Knight doesn't look pleased at all. He scowls at me as his hand extends to demand the papers in my hand impatiently.

"Ms. Garnett, try to be more efficient next time. I hate repeating myself."

I stare at him dumbfounded. He did talk to me. "I-I am sorry. I thought I heard a voice but I wasn't sure."

He raises his eyebrows. "You weren't sure you heard a voice?"

"I mean I heard a voice but I wasn't sure if it was you talking to me."

"Do you have issues with hallucinations, Ms. Garnett?"

"Excuse me?"

"Hallucinations. Hearing things in your head."

I frown, feeling offended all of a sudden. This man and his nasty mouth. "No, I don't. I was just" -I look around again- "curious. How did you know I was standing here?"

Mr. Knight gives me a disturbingly stoic look. "Have you checked what is sitting above your head?"

I look up and inwardly scold myself. Of course, there is a camera. "Oh."

"Nice observation skills. I wonder how you will manage to get through your six months," he says. "And I need coffee. Black, no sugar. Can you get that? Thank you." With that, he takes the document from my hand and heads back to his desk.

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