I knocked on Emily's door at 5:58 PM with a bag of El Rey De Tacos in hand. Seeing her smiling face when she opened the door just set me at ease.

"What do I owe you?" She asked and moved out of the way to let me in.

"When did we start keeping track?" I bumped her shoulder and winked back as I walked by.

"Come on, let me at least cover my half. I feel bad." She shut the door, locked it, and grabbed her purse.

"Why? We're friends. This is normal so forget about it. You don't owe me anything. I'm just here for some girl time and tacos." Setting down the bag on the counter, I spun around and frowned. "Where's your shirt?"

Emily stood there in a pair of jeans and pale green t-shirt. I glanced down at my bright purple tanktop with white lettering that read: Feed me tacos and tell me I'm beautiful.

"Sorry, Nic. It's dirty. My sister borrowed it last time she stopped by and got a stain on it that I haven't figured out how to get out." Her hand reached back and scratched her head before she shrugged her shoulders. "But let's dig in before the shells get soggy. Four crispy carnitas with avocado are calling my name and I can hear them from here."

"Yeah," I said with a half-hearted chuckle. Spreading open the bag, I laid out our tacos. Now I felt silly wearing the tank alone. We always wore them when we'd get Mexican together.

"So, I've got three movies picked out: Pitch Perfect, Kill Bill, and The Punisher. What are you in the mood for?" She asked as she pulled out two plates and cups from the cupboard.

My hands paused above two of my tacos as I stared at her. "I'm not really in the mood for singing."

"Okay, that leaves girl kicking ass or boy kicking ass." She placed the dishes down in front of me and snatched up two tacos. "I'll be back for my last ones after I'm done with these two bad boys. Don't even think about stealing them."

"Emily, have I ever told you that you have the oddest collection of movies?" My head cocked to the side as it shook.

"At least a dozen times, but who's counting, right? Come on, grab your food and let's move to the couch."

I grabbed three of my beef tacos and followed her out of the kitchen.

After settling ourselves in place, she presented the two remaining DVD cases and laid them between us. Her hands returned to her plate of tacos, but she hesitated.

My eyes peeked up at her while I took another bite of my taco. She looked distracted, gazing over at the TV even though it wasn't even on.

"Em? You okay? Did they forget something on your order?"

Her head snapped back to face me and her best fake smile spread across her lips. "Yeah, everything's fine. Why are you asking me when you're the one who called for the girls' night? Is everything okay with you and Ian?"

I stiffened and a chunk of beef fell out of my taco onto my plate. "Why are you bringing him up?"

"Because you've been acting really strange ever since that time you stayed here for a week a few months back. Was he really that intense that you were embarrassed to go home? I mean he seems like such a perfect gentleman, well, except for that glare." She shuddered.

I set the half-eaten taco down on my plate so it would stop spilling its filling. "What? What do you mean intense?"

She rolled her eyes at me before she put her plate on the coffee table. "What is he an animal or something in bed? It obviously startled you, but you've been off ever since."

My mouth dropped open, but no words came out. I just blinked at her a couple times as the lies all came back to me.

With her hands free, she turned to face me completely. Her face was solemn and her right hand took my left and squeezed it. "He didn't... he didn't hit you or anything, did he? You know you can tell me. You don't have to be afraid to say something."

My mind was reeling. She was worried about him hitting me? Where did that come from? Hell, I couldn't keep track of everything. But, he'd helped me out so many times too. I mean, he was a mess. I was a mess. One minute he's choking me. The next he's kissing me. My cheeks started burning and my lips began to tingle as I thought about that quick peck. It was really nothing compared to what he'd subjected me to before, but something about it stuck with me. Something was different. Wait, what had he said? Something about them 'getting to me'? Who were they?

"Nicole? Hello?"

Her hand squeezed mine again, snapping me back to the present. I looked up into her pleading eyes. She seemed to be on the verge of tears. Had I done that? Did I make her that afraid for my safety? Lying wasn't difficult. Keeping people who care about you in the dark was difficult, but this was the best way to keep her safe. "No, he's fine. I'm fine. I'm just a little confused. That's all. It was a mistake, that one time. It should have never happened. We both realize we crossed a line. Just being neighbors would've been best, but it happened and now we're just trying to figure out what the new normal is."

"I see. I'm sorry." She said, releasing my hand and returning it to her lap. "You can stay here for a bit if you want."

I smiled at her and looked down at my plate of food. "Thanks, but it's just growing pains. I'll get over it soon. Don't worry. Love you, girl."

"You too."

"I've never seen this one before. Shall we give it a go?" I picked up the black and white DVD case.

She took it from my hand and picked up the other case before walking over to the TV. "And here I thought you'd be in the mood for some girl power. Okay, prepare to be punished."

~

I stared at the screen as the four neighbors sat down to dinner and proceeded to have the most awkward not-Thanksgiving ever. Finishing off my last bite of taco, I picked up my plate and Emily's and walked them over to the kitchen sink. The movie continued playing.

"...Uh, thanks for Diet Pepsi, and thanks for good neighbors."

A laugh escaped my lips at the irony of the situation, but I turned on the faucet and the running water drowned out some of the movie. Quickly, I shut it off and returned to my seat.

"Good memories can save your life." The woman on the screen said, crestfallen.

"I'm not what you're lookin' for." Castle replied and walked out.

My eyes widened and I bit my lip to keep from shouting in anger at my epiphany. I was that woman, what was her name? Joan? I was Joan, practically swooning over some mysterious neighbor who was not good for me. Glancing to my left at Emily, I saw her attention was solely focused on the screen. Did she really have no clue or was she just testing me? The drinking, the lack of self-esteem, the isolation; this couldn't be a coincidence.

She finally noticed me and met my stare. "Hey, you're going to miss the Russian. This part always makes me cringe, but it's so epic."

We both returned to staring at the screen as the Russian began beating the crap out of Castle. I definitely cringed several times, but by the end of it the right man came back alive, barely.

"Hey, Em..." I paused, waiting to see if she heard me. When her head turned to me, I continued. "Would you do it? Would you have helped him?"

She scrunched her eyebrows together. "Who? The Punisher? I guess maybe. I don't know. It's a movie. That sort of stuff doesn't happen in real life, especially like that."

"Yeah, you're right." I shrugged. "Thankfully, we don't have to deal with that kind of trouble."

"But if I did, I'd probably try my best to help from a distance like calling the cops or something. I'd rather not get that acquainted with pain as you'll see in a minute."

She was right about that. The little bit that they showed and the screaming was enough to make me look away a few times and squeeze my eyes shut. I definitely didn't want to know that kind of pain. Thank God, I only had my ears pierced once. Although, I suddenly had a strong desire to take out my hoops and let the holes close up forever.

~

By the time the ending credits rolled across the screen, I was even more depressed. "Well, that was quite a downer."

"Yeah, his story's not exactly light-hearted. Sorry I didn't give you full disclosure." Emily answered me as she put the leftover salsa into the fridge and pulled out a bag clip for the chips.

"It's fine. I'd never seen it before so I thought it'd be more like the newer movie version of the Count of Monte Cristo where everything worked out in the end." I stood up from the couch and moved to get my purse.

She chuckled and walked over to me. "You can stay over if you want. I hate to end on such a depressing note. I should've picked Bad Boys II instead."

I smiled at her and rolled my eyes while I reached down and picked up my bag. "We watched that last time."

"I know, but you were at least laughing about it afterwards." She hugged me the moment I stood up and nearly knocked me over again. "You can borrow some clothes. I don't mind."

"Hey, I'll be fine. I've got to go home. Work is starting to overwhelm me so I need a goodnight's sleep to catch up. Saturday morning is already probably going to be spent at the office." I squeezed her back and nestled my head into her shoulder. "Thank you for taking care of me. It's nice that I can count on you to always be there. Sorry if I'm a pain sometimes. You know I don't have anybody else."

Her arms tensed and squeezed me even tighter. "Whatever happens I've always got your best interest at heart, even though you are a pain in my ass at times."

I loosened my grip and eventually so did she, then she walked me to the door and let me out with a sad smile.

The drive home was uneventful as usual, but I couldn't help being a bit twitchy. I kept thinking about the movie, particularly about Joan. I hated seeing myself like that woman, but she wasn't anything really that bad. She had stopped drinking, had a job and friends. She had more than I did. I bet she didn't have an alcohol cabinet full of wine or a secret bottle of tequila tucked behind cleaning supplies.

I sighed as I pulled into a parking spot and gazed up at my building. Even though I couldn't see my apartment from here, I still glanced in that direction and noticed the faint reflection of lights on the building next to mine. It wasn't coming from my floor though. It was above mine.

"I need to stop this." I scolded myself while I gently tapped my forehead against my steering wheel. "Curiosity killed the cat and permanently marred the nosy neighbor."

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